I have a feeling I’ll be in the principals office
What a bananas premise for an assignment
The expected answers are probably like
“Surfboard,” “skydive,” “bake 100 cookies”.
Not like mentally crazy things 😂
The kids like 'I've never seen her do anything that would indicate she is schizophrenic, hopefully behaviours that point towards bipolar disorder will suffice'
Some kids have parents that do some seriously bonkers shit and you have to brace for that if you are going to ask every kid for "crazy". "Mom hits dad" is barely PG-13.
Yeah but it feels like this is basically finding out the if the kid lives in an abusive household
“The neighbour”
It was a Mother’s Day packet. I do feel like that question was a setup. Thankfully her teacher got a laugh.
I don't get it. Why don't people laugh when I hit my wife? All I ever get is visits from police.
The matriarchy strikes again!
can't wait for father's day
Honestly guessing from the drawing I imagine she was trying to draw you smacking your husband's arm when he makes a stupid or raunchy dad joke and just doesn't yet have the nuanced vocab to explain that well. One of the few times the drawing may be clearer than the child's explanation of the drawing haha.
It honestly feels like a fishing expedition to find unsafe homes. You're going to hear so much stuff that sounds awful without any context
Last night I was playing a game with my toddler. He liked to alternate between hot and cold so I bundled him up in his towel (hot) then took it off and blew some cool air on him (cold). He got a kick out of it until I stopped playing and he started chasing me around the house yelling, “Daddy, blow me! Daddy, blow me!” I shudder to think what he may have told his teachers today.
They really start Sauna culture young these days.
Craziest thing? Ran over that kid and kept driving 😔
It wasn't serious. Nobody saw it.
Meredith isn't a kid.
Yes lol. He must Dwigt the ignorant slut!
Seems that's exactly what it is.
I'd be shocked if the same schools that have zero tolerance policies for fighting and punish kids that get bullied somehow care about if kids have unsafe homes but I could be wrong
Dude, thank you.. you either had a kid punished unjustly or went through it. Idiotic. I stood up to someone else's bully and got punched in the back of my head, then suspended for being punched. Great lesson. If your going to get suspended anyway, hit them with a pipe, your a minor.
I was jumped by 5 kids and had 2 ribs broken while they were kicking me, and got a 3 day suspension.
Our schools allow for corporal punishment
Entirely agree. And it's not as if the teacher made this handout... Clearly an effort on behalf of someone
This reminds me of the assignment I had in first grade, it was drug awareness week & the teacher asked us to draw a poster about not using drugs. Ofcourse I drew my dad's weed pipe and a bag of weed beside it. He was pissed lol I wish I still had it (I'm in my 30s now.) In hindsight it was probably a way for them to figure out what we'd seen at home. The 90s were wild lol
Feels like a setup.
I’m sure it is in a packet of questions for a Mothers Day book. The other things are probably like: I love my mom because… and my favorite thing to do with my mom is…. However, I do think this is a bad question to be asking. Kids will say the craziest stuff!
Its not. And I know I'm going to be eaten for this. Historically this happens again and again. Notably the "Hitler Youth." The governments want to know what's going on in the homes of the people. It's not about the child at all, it's about knowing where you le enemies are, who supports you, and what you're doing
Yeah, seems like they are mining for reddit gold. Funding at schools has really gotten dire.
At least now they can get paid with exposure.
Teacher fishing for gossip with this HW?
This is becoming a real thing. Teachers and school faculty want to scope out if social services need to be called in... Unfortunately kids say stupid stuff often...
A while back they made a movie in denmark about this, where the main character is an adult male who's good with kids, and then when he dissapoints a little girl she gets mad and starts talking about his dick to another kindergarden teacher, (the childs older brother whos around 10 had shown her a picture from a porn film and taught her some words) the main character end up being cleared of all charges but few people are still very angry with him.
movie name?
The danish title is "jagten" which translates to "the hunt"
omg it has mads mikkelsen in it i am 100% watching it now!!!
Yes the single best danish actor
One of the most divisive movies there is. I have a weird relationship with it : it is one of the very few movies I rated 5/5, but at the same time the only one of the list that left me shaky and not wanting to watch it again... Special experience.
I rate it 1/5 because the ending was fucking pathetic. She claims he molested her in a basement which he didn't have, so immediately everyone accepts she made it all up and he's like totally innocent and everything. And then he and her, and he and the rest of the village, are happy friends again.
It doesn't work like that. The authorities would simply assume she was confused or mistaken and that part of her story would be ignored. He would still have been charged and, very likely, found guilty.
A very similar, actual, event happened in NZ 30+ years ago. A pre-school girl made a similar claim about her teacher. Before long hysteria reigned supreme and nearly every child was making the same claim. All the teachers at the preschool were arrested. The female teachers were all let off but the single male teacher was charged, found guilty and sentenced to jail.
The claims were absolutely insane. The children were claiming the male teacher was flushing them down the toilet where they were raped by men wearing animal masks then pushed back up the toilet where they would be dried off. Zero physical evidence of any sexual assault was found. A psychologist at the trial "explained" the outlandish statements were the children's way of dealing with the trauma. Years later, as adults, a few of the kids have come forward and said nothing happened; they were fed lies by their parents & pyschologist and cajoled into saying they had been assaulted.
This is what would have reallt happened at the end of "The Hunt" in real life. And even if he had been found not guilty, his life would have been ruined. No way would his school have wanted him back, and no way would many of the parents not still think him a pedo. It wouldn't have been one person at the end shooting at him.
Because the filmmakers made it look so easy and simple to prove one's innocence in such circumstance and then so easily accepted back into society I give it 1*.
Fuck yes: Mikkelsen and his posse ftw!!
This actually happened in Norway 30-some years ago.
Things escalated to the ridiculous and the entire town got prosecuted because people were like “you’ve got to listen to the children”…
Yes. My son would, from pre-school to 1st grade, would tell everyone we didn't feed him. We would send a packed lunch to school every day, but he would go the lunch line and buy things like smoothies on credit. We would get calls from the school that he was in a defecit, and they asked if we needed assistance to feed him. This went on for years. We were at a birthday party for his classmate once, and a parent pulled me to the side and asked how we were doing because our son told him he was hungry and didn't have food . He was very well fed.
What is your source on that? Because I would absolutely never give this writing prompt, not least of which because “crazy” isn’t a word we use in our classroom.
Yes I don’t like this assignment at all. Whats the worst thing you’ve even seen the teacher do Timmy?
That would be a funny twist. When the teacher calls the parent to come for a meeting the parent could have plenty of pictures of the worst things their child have seen the teacher do. 🤣🤣🤣
Yeah this is a LOADED question
It’s ok. When my friend was hugely pregnant and on maternity leave her small son told his teacher that his mom didn’t have a job, was super fat and sat at home eating Cheetos all day.
Was he wrong?
Almost makes me wanna go on maternity leave
I'm starting mine today. And I'm a mid fifties male
I mean.. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
You dropped this arm, sir \
Thank you, for some reason my shruggy guy loses that arm whenever I post him
A friend of mine works night shift. Her 6 year old told his teacher “my mom doesn’t work she just sleeps all day.”
I called my Dad a drug dealer lol He worked at Roche in R&D 🤣
My son said my husband made drugs at home. He brewed beer. They had just told them that beer was a drug at school.
unemployed drug addict it is!
My mom had a problem where she almost never had cash on hand when we went somewhere, and she would often complain about this. What the kindergarten teacher of my younger sibling ended up hearing was "My mommy has no money :(" and asked if everything was okay lol
One time, 5 year old me told my teacher and classmates “My parents were meeting with their friends in the parking lot and then I woke up in the trunk”
What happened was they were talking outside a restaurant after dinner and I fell asleep in the back of the station wagon. They didn’t usually let us ride in the back but this time they drove home and then woke me up to go inside. I thought it was so cool that I slept and rode in the back of the wagon (despite being the 80s they didn’t usually let us do that) so I told all my friends and teachers in Kindergarten that I woke up in the trunk! My mom got a call from the guidance counselor. Lol
I used to sleep back there all the time. I couldn’t handle looking out the window in that direction as it made me a little sick so I’d curl up on the floor. Because yeah, that was normal back then.
“We saw Daddy kissing Mommy in the pantry and Daddy was holding Mommy’s butt!”
My twin kindergartners, to their teacher. 🙄
For the record, I’m not the type to get too wild in the pantry. Sorry to disappoint.
In the nude, getting rude, with the food
Unexpected Conchords 🫡
We heard that’s what you are into.
Well, that's if Stu's into it too
With two dudes
Ain’t no shame in that.
Suuuuuuure
LMAO! I mean …
When there are any kids around who could catch me. Usually. Mostly.
Hey! * slams pantry door *
My hot take: it's healthy for children to see their parents show each other affection. (within reason of course) getting used to the sight of parents kissing and light PDA prepares them to be able to appropriately communicate love to their future partners. Normalize affection.
As you said: not too wild. Handsy through the pantsy isn't too wild for the pantry. 😇
Username checks out. 😁
I happened to watch an adult movie at my friend’s place when I was six. I went back home and told my mother exactly what I’d seen. She kept a calm demeanour and told me I shouldn’t go to such people’s places or something of the sort. When I think about it now, I can’t imagine the shock she must’ve felt. 😂
Have you confronted the other mommy yet!
Well you should, it's quite the fun in there, just watch out for the double monsters
🤣 Shouldn’t have hidden the monster attractant / Halloween candy in there.
I assure you that I do not hit her dad. He thinks it is hilarious but I am mortified.
Young kids are weird like that. They are super literal and to the point with shit like this. 😆
My husband was rough-housing with our son, when our son was around 4-years old, and they giggled and pushed/wrestled each other through the house, when our son lost his footing, slipped, and nailed his face into the edge of the kitchen counter.
He busted the skin open below his eye and had a nice little shiner on the orbital bone.
My husband almost vomitted, he felt so awful about it. I half expected him to cry along with our son, he was so miserable.
The next day, of course all the kids in preschool asked my son what happened, and he loudly and proudly declared "My dad pushed me into the kitchen counter!"
I immediately turned to the teacher and explained that, yes, while that is technically and factually correct, it was an accident and happened because they played too wild.
I was sweating bullets that day, haha. 😆
When my youngest was about 4, after dinner one night she picked up an empty champagne glass and tipped the last drop onto her tongue. Not great but no big deal, right, it’s one drop. The next day at daycare she had a tummy ache and told her teacher it’s because of all the champagne she drank. 🙄
We were leaving my nephew's baseball game when we heard another kid behind us say "Billy's daddy does drugs." We turn around and the family is looking at us weirdly. The mom asks her kid how he knows that and the kid says "He's smoking a cigarette". They were taught that it is a "drug".
Another time my parents asked my son what we did the night before and he said "I was playing on the computer while Mom and Dad were watching adult movies." We had to explain that he meant we were not watching kids movies. We definitely weren't watching adult films...
I mean cigarettes are drugs
So is coffee
Coffee is a beverage. Caffeine is a drug.
Cigarettes are rolled lose leaf tobacco, nicotine is a drug.
Shut up n give me my drugged up beverage! Its 5 am!
And bring me a joint!
Definitely.
Kid learned that drinking leads to a tummy ache from somewhere.
Years of experience.
Hahaha, that's hilarious. 😂
I friend of mine was playing with his daughter. Big lad, heart of gold. She liked to be swung around in circles by her arms. Well, this time one dislocated at the shoulder. She was in tears. He was mortified.
Then she said to him "What did I do wrong Daddy?", as though it was a punishment. I was amazed he didn't just crumple up and die on the spot.
Your home sounds nice despite the domestic violence :P
Our 4 year old’s daycare is awesome and they’re very engaged. Our son is mostly well behaved but has some impulse control. One day he pulled the fire alarm, out of curiosity and a momentary lack of supervision. They evacuated the building and the fire dept came and explained it was a manual pull, there was no fire. So they asked the kids in the class and my son immediately raised his hand and admitted to doing it because his dad (me) told him to. I think he just knows I’m going to understand why he did it so he used me.
Come on, own up, you told him to do it "for the lulz", didn't you
Honestly, I was flabbergasted that there were alarm pulls lower than light switches. It’s like they wanted kids to be able to pull them?!
I mean, I guess you would technically want kids to be able to pull them in an emergency.
I just don’t know that the average 3-4 year old has the presence of mind. I think what my son did is the more likely scenario!
This is so true. My mom was just telling me the other day that when we were little, the school was talking about drugs and said coffee and cigarettes are drugs -along with, y'know, actual drugs- so we told them our mom does drugs without elaborating. 😭😭 She was pretty irritated with the school lmao. But it's hilarious now.
Imagine if the next sentence was “and played with me roughly”
My son used to say I kicked the cat. I slid the cat out of the way with my foot. He didn’t even wake up 🤦♀️
Sure, bud.
dials 911.
Well you've got a freebie now whenever you need to pop him.
Right. You didn’t hit him. He’s just clumsy. Loud and clear.
“Thank you ma’am. May I have another” - Dad, probably
"Harder Mistress!!!" - Dad, definitely.
That’s not what eye witnesses say
You both look like you're into it in the picture though.
Looks like you’re slapping dad whilst his junk is out.
riiiight.. he just fell down the stairs because he's just clumsy / a klutz
That is a nice drawing. I would frame it.
Just curious what your kid considered hitting, OP. What was the context when you no doubt asked? My little ones were all really, literal, so I didn't have anything like that when they were growing up.
I have a literal one and I volunteer in the classrooms. Dont think for a second that them being literal gets you a get out of jail free card. The out of context comments, the sarcasm taken seriously, the detailed report on your financial situation, the pregnancy test that came back positive but you weren’t ready to share, the smells you make in the bathroom properly described in exquisite flowery detail, the medications you take, etc…. You just might not have gotten feedback about the interesting comments because teachers hear this stuff every day. It’s hilarious
Here I thought the picture was of like a high 5,just slapping hands and that is technically hitting.
Shit. I straight up wrote a 2nd grade writing assignment that I hid my dad's belt so he couldn't hit me with it anymore. The only consequence was my parents asking me where I hid it.
Hope you're doing okay now. Nobody should hit their kids.
Thank you, I'm doing much better now. I don't blame them, they are a product of their parents and the times. I've cut contract with them because they continue to be assholes though.
I hope you dont feel bad about yourself on the days you cant forgive them. I tend to agree that everything happens for a reason, but also, we shouldnt blame ourselves for lacking forgiveness on the hard days.
The way both of them are smiling it makes it look like they enjoyed it. Not being judgmental.🤣
At least he looks happy about it in the drawing
That's a "oh behave" arm slap if I'm not mistaken lol.
I watched my mom whip a raw steak in my dad's face because he demanded dinner
I also witnessed her hoof him in nuts for cheating.
The 70's were a hell of a time
apparently my mom was kneading bread dough when my dad got mouthy so she turned around and chucked the ball of dough at him. It caught him in the chest and knocked him off his feet
My mom used to laugh and tell that story but I'm not sure my dad thought it was particularly funny
why r they smiling tho
First off, what is THAT?!
Second, why are they smiling?
I’m thinking s/he walked in on something she couldn’t make sense of at the time.
Did your mum eat the gum gum fruit by any chance?
that’s an awful activity for a child
Was this a trap to see if kids were being abused?
I have no clue
craziest thing i've seen my mother do?
Stab my step father with a bowie knife to the stomach as soon as he opened the door for her. He fell back onto the floor, My mother, knife in one hand, grabbed me with her other hand and she dropped me off for school for the day...
This got a chuckle out of my teacher as well...
What the actual fuck
if i got a slip from school she'd beat me till her boyfriends finally couldn't take it anymore and told her to stop she says sorry in the form of money, throwing it on me as im picking myself up off the floor wondering what i can do better to not make my mommy so mad. Before she quits she grabs me by the hair and seethes into my ear "Stop crying or i'll give you something to cry about you fucking bastard."
…are you okay? This is a very severe case of child abuse, and I assume that you know it too. This is actually really sad, and I’m sorry for what you had to go through. Therapy can help you work through your feelings about it if you think that it’s a serious problem.
I'm 35 now, married to my soulmate who has suffered sexual abuse, we've been healing together, Therapy would probably help but...I'm not mad about it, just disappointed in myself for holding onto the hope my mother would love me one day.
Well, I’m sorry for your childhood and the sexual abuse of your wife. I think that if it is really hard on you, you should talk to someone, but in the end I’m just a guy on Reddit. You should have ultimate control over your life and choices. I hope you have a good day (or night).
I'm with you on the holding onto hope thing. I spent 30 years trying to be good enough for my parents, it wasn't until I was a parent of a struggling little girl that I realized that I had to stand up to them and stop seeking their approval. Therapy would have helped immensely, but we were super poor at the time.
“Grab ma strong hand!”
Apparently I once said my mom was a heavy drinker at football practice because I saw her drink a glass of wine for the first time that weekend. I was like 7-8, lol. Neither of my parents enjoyed alcohol when I was growing up. I can’t even imagine the shame for her!
I’m confused…is the penis out? Is it a belt?
Right? Looks like she’s farting on his schlong.
I too, assumed it was a fart.
It’s a belt
Stop covering for him, dude is packing donkey energy.
This feels like a teacher trying to dig up some dirt. Not "what is the nicest thing theyve done" or some shit it's the CRAZIEST
Well did you hit him?
I do not hit him. Not even play hit. Idk where she came up with that.
It's ok, my wife hits me (please help) and we have a great relationship.
I did naaaht hit him. Oh hi mark.
Maybe your kid saw a fist bump? Or high five?
Yeah we high five
With how big your kid drew the hands hitting, I definitely think that’s what it was.
I wonder is this supposed to be a high five? The hands are touching
I gave my little girl 1 sip of beer ONE TIME, and she won't stop telling everyone for years...
This assignment is just asking for all kinds of trouble.
Haha domestic violence
Kind of a fucked up thing to ask children in the first place.
Think from a kids perspective people
"She lifted the couch to clean under it"
"She carried 5 grocery bags at once!"
"She yelled so loud it echoed off the mountains"
Hopefully the teacher noted the smile on the fathers face. And unless those are shorts he’s wearing, He REALLY seems to like it!
I mean, they're both smiling. Everybody is still happy. Lol
“3 guys at once”
They both seem awfully happy about it.
Love how kids add onomatopoeias.
Yeah, the word choice there with "craziest "is sketch AF.
When I was around 7 we kept a diary at school and I recounted the episode of 'Allo 'Allo we just watched where they try to steal the "Madonna with the big boobies" and Herr Flick was in lingerie chained up in a dungeon... I drew it...
My teacher wrote in red pen, "How interesting!".
They’re both smiling… maybe they’re both into it.
Yet dad has a smile and a boner!
what the hell kinda schoolwork is this
A Mother’s Day booklet … it has other things like what is your favorite thing mom does etc
Hit the principal too. Don't let them push you around!
Teacher is overstepping. Not shocking
They both look oddly happy about it though. I think she would've drawn them angry or crying if it was serious(?) my guess idk
You’d probably be arrested if you were a man
I think if they were asking a question to pry into your personal lives, perhaps YOU should be the one to approach school administration.
I think it was innocent enough … just a cute little Mother’s Day packet for the kids to give mom.
If it was they other way around...
They would have done a welfare check at the home if the roles were reversed
Exactly, even today people dont remember a man can also be a victim
"My mom killed a nosy teacher"
haha domestic violence. classic.
Nah, you’re a woman. You’ll be fine.
The children were systemically turned against their parents and were taught to spy on them and report their deviations
Edit: it's an Orwell 1984 quip. Sorry.
Don't worry, violence against men is ignored and ridiculed.
When I was in 2nd grade the teacher was talking to us about alcohol and alcohol abuse and I raised my hand and loudly exclaimed “my mom has a glass of wine EVERY NIGHT, is that okay?”
school actively looking for gossips
Depending on age, a lot of kids especially girls , go through a stage of just completley lying. I made up a whole imaginary life whenever we were asked to write about our weekend, and when it came to parents evening they thought she was talking about someone else
This assignment is just asking for trouble.
I would claim entrapment
It's only mom practising her taiwando with dad.. Don't worry😁
“Ka-Pow!” would’ve worked better in the illustration.
It’s okay, they both look like they’re enjoying it
If the genders were switched…
It’s okay you’re both smiling in the picture :)
Is it not a high 5?
“Funny”
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