My wife continually goes out for the night and doesn’t come home. Am I overreacting?

We’ve been married about 5 years. Over the course of our relationship there has been 20+ times where she went to a friends house and just didn’t come home. I understand things happen but it weighs on me as I’m up all night wondering where she is, who’s she’s with and if she’s safe. We have 3 kids to take care of.

Honestly, some of it on my end has to do with trust and I’m aware of that. There have been 2 incidents where I found out she was talking to another guy, a different ex boyfriend each time. Once through Snapchat that I accidentally saw and once when the guys girlfriend reached out to me to tell me that they had been talking behind my back, and meeting up. She swears nothing happened but it’s hard to maintain trust. Another incident she admitted she went out to the bar, with some of her friends and some guys and I’ve heard rumors that she cheated on me with one of them that night, but she adamantly denies this.

Some of the times she didn’t come home, I couldn’t reach her at all. If I kept calling, she would eventually answer and be angry with me for blowing up her phone and not trusting her. Told me I was embarrassing. In my mind, it’s 3 am and I can’t sleep not knowing where my wife is and I have 3 kids to take care of in the morning.

This is all compounded with other circumstances that I won’t dive too much into, but she hadn’t pulled this in a while and she did last night. I take the kids every Friday night so she can go hang out with friends. She went to a friends house that I knew for game night. 11 rolls around and I’m going to bed so I call her to see when she’ll be home so I’m not up worrying. She tells me she’s not at that friends anymore, and went over to a neighbor of that friends that she just met to hang out there and have drinks. She’s says she didn’t drink that much, which I’m not overly worried about I just didn’t even know she had left the place I knew she was at. She asked if she could stay until midnight to which I said yeah no problem. I fell asleep. Woke up at 2:30am, she still wasn’t home. I called her to see where she was and she said she was still there. I got upset by this because I don’t even know these people and neither does she and she promised she’d be home by midnight. She still didn’t come home. I fell back asleep and woke up again at 5 am and she still wasn’t home. I flipped out. She promised she would stop doing this and continues to do it. I’ve had a long week and now have been up all night worrying about my wife and now have to handle the normal responsibilities while she is sleeping, I don’t even know where she is.

She thinks I’m in the wrong for getting angry as she’s a grown woman and shouldn’t have a curfew. I think she’s in the wrong for not telling her husband what she was doing, and then not coming home when she said she was, keeping me up all night worrying.

If this was a one off thing, I’d be understanding and I have been in the past. I’m not sure I can keep doing this though, definitely lost my shit. Exhausted.

Happy to clarify anything, and sorry for the long post.

Am I overreacting?

Edit: thank you for all the insight. There are too many comments now for me to go through them, but this has been really eye opening.

I don’t have anyone to talk to about this, and haven’t before.

I understand the perspective from outside looking in, that why would I not do something sooner.

I guess you make excuses for the ones you love and that’s easier than accepting your marriage is failing. I’ve done all I can to provide a good life for these kids, and never wanted to do anything to jeopardize that.

I will be taking action this time. Already talking to a realtor, have lawyer calls lined up for Monday and am working out childcare arrangements. I will not be bringing any of this up to her so that I can build my case.

Thank you kind and hurtful (although honesty I needed to hear) strangers alike.

AITA for threatening my wife with divorce after she quit her job to be a "tradwife"Advice Needed

I dont even know where to begin with this.

Me 34M and my Wife 33F have 2 Kids together 11M and 9F.

Me and my Wife have been together for 12 years and married for 8.

Around a year ago I noticed my wife increasingly sending me these Tradwife or traditional housewife tiktoks. I have nothing against that type of relationship but I don't think it makes sense for our current family situation. I do earn earn quite a bit more than my wife and enough to sustain our family on my own but I dont see the need to do so. I work 80% and my wife 50% and besides Wednesdays where the both of us are working, either one of us is always home for the kids. I could work a 100% and let my Wife be SAHM but again, both of my kids are attending school and in my mind there is no need for my wife to be at home 24/7.

She got increasingly pushy about it over the past two months and again I just kept on telling her that there wasnt any need for that and If we did decide to go down that route, what would she do during the hours my kids attended school? I know damn well our house doesent need to be cleaned for 6 hours a day. She would constantly try to butter me up with "You would have dinner ready every day when coming home from work" and something about unlimited blowjobs or some bs like that. Again in the nicest way possible I would remind her that our kids werent toddlers and our current work-life schedule allowed us to function perfectly fine.

We got into a pretty heated argument two weeks ago about it and my wife completely stopped having sex with me to "show me what I would be missing out on." Shes basically been treating me like a roommate since.

I just thought she would get over it and this was just a phase but god was I wrong. I came home from work yesterday and saw a bunch of presents on the dining table. At first I thought they were all for me since my birthday was in a week but I then I saw the labels on them addressed to my wife. I read one of the letters attached to one of the presents. The last sentence on it was literally "It was so a pleasure working along side you and I wish you all the best moving forwards." I thought this was some sick prank. A few minutes later my wife just casually strolled into the living room acting like nothing was wrong. I guess she saw my mad expression and had the audacity to tell me that "You'll get over it." I just lost it.

I just left without saying another word and went to my parents house. I feel absolutely disrespected. Why the fuck would my wife think it was okay to just quit her job without telling me and just expect me to be fine with it. My wife has been bombarding me with texts and calls demanding to know where I am and that the kids miss me. I just told her to go find a lawyer and that I was done with her and then proceeded to block her.

My son just sent me a voicemail crying and asking why I was divorcing mom and if I was leaving the family and I guess that kind of broke my heart. I haven't responded and honestly dont know what to say to him. My mother in law has also been demanding that I return home and apologize to my wife. My parents also seem to be siding with wife since they are traditional muslims. My mom also used to a SAHM.

I feel like im wrong for immediately jumping to divorce without hearing her out and besides this whole job drama, love my wife too much for this to be the end of our otherwise perfect marriage but on the other hand I feel like i've lost complete trust in her.

Should I just swallow my pride and let my wife stay at home from now on or should I follow through on divorcing her?

How should I navigate this situation?

AITA here?

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How’s the US has the strongest economy in the world yet every American i have met is just surviving?

Besides the tons of videos of homeless people, and the difficulty owning a house, or getting affordable healthcare, all of my American friends are living paycheck to paycheck and just surviving. How come?

Also if the US has the strongest economy, why is the people seem to have more mental issues than other nations, i have been seeing so many odd videos of karens and kevins doing weird things to others. I thought having a good life in a financially stable country would make you somehow stable but it doesn’t look like so.

PS. I come from a third world country as they call us.