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Monday Morning M’Thread (4 December 23)

Welcome to Monday - and three weeks until a fat man dressed in red attempts to squeeze down your chimney and deliver presents.

Unless of course you’ve hired a chimney sweep and he’s got stuck due to too many pies.

At any rate, it’s time for our regular Monday thread, so come on in, have a chat - what’s plans for your Monday?

Pinnedby dexbydesign89Your lyrics lack subtlety!
Anyone in their 30s living with their parents and actually enjoying it?

I’m mid-30s. Used to live alone, then moved in with parents during the pandemic since I wasn’t sure how things would be going for the next few months.

And I’m still here. Even weirder, it’s quite nice. I put in for utilities and food and do nearly all the cooking. Offered rent, but they didn’t want it since mortgage is all paid. Work from home and mostly do my own thing, then few evenings a week we’ll watch TV in the evening or something.

I’ve thought about moving out since I can afford to, but renting is absolutely ridiculous right now and doesn’t seem worth it. Parents think I should just stay here and keep saving.

Anyone else in this situation? I’m surprised how pleasant it’s been and can’t see myself leaving anytime soon.

Does anyone know where my office is?

I have been working from home exclusively for the last 3 years. New manager started 8 weeks ago, first thing he did was mandate that all his underlings (me included) must spend one day a week in the new office he has set up for us all so that we can "work collaboratively" and "have a presence". Today is my first day back in this new office. Problem is, he has buggered off on annual leave and not actually told me where, in the numerous buildings over numerous sites my employer is based, my office actually is.

So I have set off in the general direction of my employer and posting on here on the vague hope that one of you reprebates might know where my office is.

I'll text his boss later to see if he knows.

EDIT: my god you lot are a serious bunch on a Monday morning. Should have slapped a /s to make it clear I was being sarcastic in this whole affair.

UPDATE: Found it! It was tucked away on the second floor. A tiny desk in the corner of a shared office (7 other desks). Apparently its "Bring your own" HDMI cables day to hook up to a monitor and if I wanted better than the (and I shit you not) 1MBPS wifi, I needed to make a request for Ethernet to IT 4 months ago.

A lady that works in a pharmacy nearby spent an hour and a half on hold for me today.

I've had a nightmare this last week.

I get some medication which I have to take daily delivered to my house as I'm not able to get out and about much. You're not really meant to have more than one day off them as it can have some pretty bad side affects.

I put the request in for more pills a week ago when I realised I was running low, I wish I had noticed sooner but they make me a bit scatty. Four days later I get a notification from the app telling me that the doctors still hadn't approved it.

I called them in the morning (26m on hold) and was told by a lady that sounded about one hundred years old that the doctor would approve today and that I should email them, which I did.

I called back after work to double check as nothing got updated on the app (23m on hold). They hadn't done it, so this different lady instantly messaged the doctor and it got approved (why was it that easy!?).

Anyway, Saturday and Sunday go by, Monday is here and I've gone without my pills for four days at this point and they're sat at 'packs and checks' in the app.

I called up a pharmacy nearby and speak to an incredibly helpful lady who took some details to try and get me some emergency ones.

She calls back an hour and a half later(!), she had been on hold all that time, which I can see why as when I tried the docs line before, I was caller 6 in line.

She did this just for me, a complete stranger who doesn't even use that pharmacy usually.

I couldn't express my gratitude enough, she even denied me buying her some chocolate when I offered and was just happy to help.

I don't even know this lady's name (I didn't want to ask in case I came off as some creepy guy or something) but she is an absolute angel and we need more like her in the world.

Also, this isn't intended to slag off the NHS or anything, we are bloody lucky to have what we do and sometimes things slip through the cracks for one reason or another.

TLDR: A pharmacist spent an hour and a half on the phone for me just so I could get my emergency pills

Road rage consequence?

I need some help. I've just had an absolute weapon wizz out of a parallel parking spot nearly hitting my car and someone crossing the road. The issue for them is that their lovely little blue fiesta is a company car with their mobile number, company info and Facebook plastered all over it. So my question r/casualUK is, what's the best response? Nothing too permanent as they didn't cause injuries or damage but they gave me the finger as they sped off, I've had a gross morning at work and want a bit of petty revenge.

“Four-Eyed Fuck”

Got some shouted drive-by abuse from the youthful scumbag passenger in a shitty little Nissan Micra last week, because they’d had to stop as we stepped onto a zebra crossing.

I wear glasses, so he leant out of his window and went with “Four-Eyed Fuck”.

Proper old-school.

There is surely nothing worse than washing sieves

Is there? With the possible exception of being Garth Crooks.

Completely fucked it.

Moving house tomorrow, packed up all the clothes, Mrs done same, naturally with that comes a clear out, about 15 bags to the tip.

Also there’s a chance all my shoes, bar the ones on my feet have also gone to the tip.

Only realised I’ve not seen them after loading van.

Can’t get in to the back of the moving van to check.

Won’t even know for sure until we unpack it all tomorrow.

Hoping to god I’ve just mindlessly packed them into the van without realising.


Edit: Cheers guys, Threads cheered me up, I’ll for Shoer update tomorrow, good job I’ve got comfy socks

Edit 2: Been tip found some of the bags we dropped yesterday but no shoes, here’s hoping the other shoe drops when we unpack van

Edit 3 - FINAL UPDATE: more or less got everything in the house now, unpacking the last few bits and found them, all 6 pairs of shoes I own, what a winner! Now to start the process of turning the house into a home

I woke up at 3am-ish for a piss and haven't been able to get back to sleep so i've stayed up. I'm totally questioning my life choices.

Fuck you, Monday!

I feel like a real life version of that meme from years ago of the dad from Rugrats making chocolate pudding at 4am because he's lost control of his life.

How's your morning going?

Having to sit and watch the monkeys at longlet rip your car apart because you thought it would be a nice family day out
  • title was slightly dramatic since I only lost the 2 windscreen jet nozzles and a few bites of my antenna

I had heard they were pretty savage, there is even a sign on the way in warning you but it was pretty funny watching them rip things off cars. Just zero fucks given

They got my water jet nozzles (not expensive to replace) but some of the other cars they had ripped the wing mirrors off, antennas, windscreen wipers etc

Next time I’d probably skip that part or pay for the bus 😂

Kebab portion size

It's been a while since I've had a kebab, I do usually make them at home nowadays but still love the grill flavour from a proper elephant's leg. So I'm looking forward to a Sunday night treat and I get this Extra Large bad boy for £9.90.

Is it just me or have kebab sizes shrunk? I was still hungry after this.


Fresh fish door knock.....

Just had a man come to my front door and ask if I wanted fresh fish. He was dressed in a white coat and I could see a refrigerated van parked up. I declined as thought was very weird. He proceeded to knock on the neighbours this something new or a scam of some sort?

Do you remember when Micro Scooters were a huge deal?

I might just be getting old, but I remember a time maybe in the early 2000’s that micro scooter was a huge hit among my school friends. Then scooters in general were out of fashion, but recently with advent of e-scooters, they’ve started to become acceptable again.

Recently I remembered that I still have my old Micro Scooter from back in the day, still immaculate since I hardly used it. But the tiny wheels make me wonder if this is more of a toy despite what the packaging says, would I look like a complete bellend if I used it to get to work as an adult?

Do you switch the kitchen light off with your chin?

When you're holding tea and toast and there's no one else about, do you switch the kitchen light off with your chin?