Hooker with a penis
What a Tool.
I met a boy, wearing vans 501's...
And a dope beastie tee
Nipple rings, new tattoos
That claimed that he was OGT
Back from 92'!
From our first EP
And in between sips of coke
He told me that, he thought we were…
Selling out...
Always heard this as sniffs
sips, homie is so sold out you can even tell the brand drink he's sipping
Same here
so I'm not the only one then
Fuck you buddy
Shut up and buy
SEND MORE MONEY
Buy my new record!
One time my Grandpa came in from feeding his cattle wearing a Tool baseball cap. I don't know how he ended up with the hat, but I'm pretty sure he thought it was some actual tool company hat. He didn't take note of the penis-shaped wrench on the back of the hat.
So f'ng hilarious. I could see my grandpa thinking the too.
I'd pay 46 and 2 dollars for that shirt.
Sharing this rad rockabilly cover of the song by a now defunct Wyo/Denver band Rexway - Country Hooker With a Penis
this was really good
Man, when the distortion kicks in it gets some serious Social Distortion vibes. I dig it.
But Jimmy....
And Dave, but he floated away.
Must have been those somniferous almond eyes
God damn shit the bed
You remembered to write it down
It was so real...
Like the time Dave floated away
Do I even know what that means??? I
M, mm m.M, mm. Mm. Mm mm m mm. I'm
Crazy. I’ve met exactly Forty-six & 2 people who’ve worn that shirt.
Great song
Wonder if he’s got Vans, 501s, nipple rings, and new tattoos.
“You can point that fucking finger up your ass”
He's was probably listening back in 92 since the first EP
Why is it called that anyway?
Did you hear/read the lyrics? The song is about selling out and has lines like "all you know about me's what I sold you." It's a metaphor: we're all out there selling ourselves for a paycheck.
I'm the man and you're the man and he's the man as well
So you can point that fuckin' finger up your ass
The more telling lines, I think. It's like a 'get off your high horse, we're all "The Man" selling ourselves to another version of "The Man" and you're no less guilty than me of anything.'
Edit to clarify: 'The Man' has a penis, and you're him and we're him and we're all selling ourselves. i.e.: Hookers
Oh damn, I always thought it was more a critique of the idea of “selling out” as a criticism because it’s a product of entitlement. As if fans have a better idea of how the music is supposed to sound more than the actual artist making it.
With him claiming to be a sell out all along being like “if you think I sold out now, you should have the same energy about my old shit too, cause nothing has changed”. Hence the “Fuuuck you buddy” at the end of it.
I always thought the title was referring to the fans or maybe the criticism. But yeah makes sense that he’s referring to himself as self deprecation or satire.
Your interpretation is also a good one, and ours are very compatible.
Because the band named it that?
Damn, I expected something clever, oh well
Sorry man, I'm already over my clever quota for the day
Oh you were trolling lmao. I thought there was literally no reason they named it that
Great Tool song
Fuck you buddy!
Shut up and...buy!
I've got some advice for you, little buddy!
And in between sips of Coke.
He told me that he thought we were selling out.
Laying down, sucking up… to The Man
Well now I got some advice for you little buddy.
Idk he strikes me as more of a fan of banta-soda
Is it not sniffs of coke?
I think he’s changed the lyrics over the years and has said sniffs of coke in live performances but I don’t believe that was the original lyric.
Listened to the '96 album release a few times just now (right around 1 minute in), it's very ambiguous if it's "sniffs" or "sips". I'd honestly believe either one. For the theme of the song I could see it being "sips" since they market things heavily but then again it could be that the marketers (along with the artists) are reeeeaallllly high on drugs.
Here's Bob with the weather.
Definitely sips. He's wearing Levi's 501s and drinking the biggest brand name drink while calling Tool sellouts. Context, man, context!
I sold my soul to make a T-shirt, and then he bought one
Dipshit
Fuuuck you buddy!
I bought AENEMA on cassette while living in S. Korea, and this song was removed from the tape…
I’ve got some advice for you little buddy, before you point your finger, you should know that I’m the man! If I’m the fuckin man then you’re the fuckin man as well, you should point that fuckin finger up your ass! ☝🏻
That song is a banger.
TOOL Army represent!
Tool reference
Hey, it's a good song. 🤷♂️
Also a good time!
Tool fan
Some people buy shirts with English phrases they don't understand.
Idk about this guy, but it is not uncommon.
When I was growing up in India (this was back in the seventies), a friend and I were hanging out, when we were "interviewed" by a documentary film or TV crew that happened to be in the area.
There were these two filmmakers who I assumed were American or British (we were like 9 at the time and I don't remember their accents). They had an interpreter and crew, who, before filming, warned us to only speak in Hindi - not a word in English. I guess they thought we were homeless children because we'd been playing in dirt and were barefoot and quite filthy at the time. Their questions were about our lives, whether we had food, whether we went to school, whether we knew what "school" was, etc.
My friend, finding this hilarious, spun this crazy story about us running away from home, being captured by a traveling circus, and heaven knows what else. After a few minutes I recognized his story as being from this Enid Blyton book we'd been reading, so I joined in as well. It was friggin' fantastic seeing the lady's jaw drop.
I'm not saying the guy in this photo knows what his shirt says but, it's India - you may be surprised.
Look at that face…he knows exactly what the shirt says.
They 100% know, Indians North or South both use a lot of borrowed words from English despite Hindi having those words it is commonly used for conversation all around.
I saw a shirt in a street stall in Hong Kong that was just a stick figure blowing another stick figure's brains out and had FUCK YOU written across the bottom.
That was over 20 years ago and I still regret not buying it to this day.
I have to imagine social media in China is full of pictures of white girls with Chinese writing tattoos that say weird shit. "It means 'Power and Strength' in Chinese..."
I mean that's kinda like getting the word rice as a Japanese tattoo thinking it says compassion or some shit.
I looked up the kanji for rice, and I definitely had a dog tag necklace I wore everywhere as a kid with that on it. Was told it meant strength.
I hope it helped you rice above any challenges you were facing.
At least the kanji for rice looks cool. It would be entertaining if it was the kanji for rice field, because it would be kind of obvious. It looks like a rice field: 田
And some people (can only) buy cheap clothes. They won’t know what is written on the shirt. All/most of their friends and relatives can’t read that too.
Some people who might look like they don't understand English phrases might just be Tool (band) fans!
That dude could simply be advertising.
Clearly part of the guerilla marketing campaign for the new tool album that'll release any minute now.
Sometimes I find shirts like that in Spain, I have one that says:
"Jamie's Liquor Store
Cold Beers
Hot Dogs"
Not gonna lie, the nonsense makes it better for me.
What a Tool.
EDIT: This is a reference to the band Tool, which has a song named "Hooker with a Penis". This shirt is very obviously merch for Tool. I thought it was obvious, then the down votes rolled in.
I bet he wears 501s
Wearing Vans I would assume
Nipple ring
I bet he has some new tattoos.
And sips Coke
And got a dope Beastie T
This shirt is very obviously merch for Tool
Especially when you zoom in to the bottom right of the text and it has the band logo there!
your downvoted probably cause someone else posted the exact same thing 2 hours before you.
I'm sure lots of people did. It is reddit, afterall.
I had that CD and loved that song, but somehow never knew the name of it. 🤦🏻
Well, I've got some news for you little buddy
Before you point your finger you should know that I’m the man …
And you’re the man
TOOL! 🤘🏼
always wanted that on a tool shirt
He may let you borrow it
Nows the time for my username to shine.
TIL Tool fans are alive and well on r/funny 🥳
He looks like an Indian Randy
Nah, he's wearing a shirt.
Strip the chrome off a trailer hitch.
Hahah
Randeep Maharsh
Different Randy. Randy Bobandy. His ass is sweet as candy.
God this is sending me into a spiral.
This guy is OGT
He has great taste
Good song
It's their best song.
That's the sequel to 2011's "Hobo with a Shotgun," yeah?
Great movie
My favorite tool song!
Tool
Tool
This guy TOOL’s
My favorite Tool song
"Well now I've got some
Advice for you, little buddy
Before you point the finger
You should know that I'm the man
I'm the man and you're the man
And he's the man as well
So you can point that fuckin' finger up your aaaaaaa"
What the hell is a Denis?
I want that fuckin' shirt so bad, holy shit. Love that song.
Definitely not a Bob Marley wannabe motherfucker.
You can point that fucking finger up your ass
Message to Hari Manjulback.
One of my fave tool songs. I'd smoke a hooka with this guy
He doesnt speak english, or he’s very popular in certain circles.
A perfect circle?
It’s the former. He looks like a worker class guy from India and they do not speak English
Or he's a Tool fan
I would still have a beer with him
I'm not riding that guy's tuk tuk.
Is this the Hobo with a Shotgun sequel?
Hooker with a Denis
Hooker with a Denis*
A Tool fan! In India!
Yes, present. What's the question?
That's my man
If that somehow works…
Buy my new record
Thank you all!
Where can i cop this
Y’all ain’t gonna believe this, but I’ve met exactly Forty Six & 2 people who’ve worn that shirt.
Be a great rugby shirt
The title of the previous post would've gone well with this: "Attendees at the first Chippendales Club, Los Angeles, 1979"
I’m a Hooker too
If I'm the man then you're the man and he's the man as well so you can point that fucking finger up your ass.
Damn, I want a tshirt like that now
Came here expecting Tool lyrics. Was not disappointed
He's looking for prison sex.
I’m
I'm the man and you're the man and he's the man as well!
Hahah if thats what he identifies as lol
Lol
Fuckin banger great song
I gotta get back into tool. Great band.
Hooker with a Denis?
You people envision nothing! It sucks, but this shirt is the best!
people envision nothing! It sucks,
Hidden penis detected!
I've scanned through 2723 comments (approximately 14073 average penis lengths worth of text) in order to find this secret penis message.
Beep, boop, I'm a bot
good bot. Best bot.
Anyone else read - 'Hooker with a Denis's ?
If he traded a heart of gold, it was probably worth at least two penises.
So that's where those shirts I ordered went
I only see one guy. Where's Denis?
Good for him. Get that money, queen.
The irony is the phrase on his left means "Hail Mother Goddess"
You had me at hooker.
Bobandy
A man’s gotta eat.
That's a kickass band name
Their hit song could be named Tool.
It's actually a song name.
It's certainly musical.
I’m guessing he just thinks it’s some cool English writing
He knows the pieces fit
He looks like the watermelon man😂
Technically true
Bros got a ponster menis I say
Dayyuuuuuum!!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.