God I have the same thought every day when I look at people super dedicated to one thing (even if it's a video game that consumes their free time).
I feel the same. I don't have anything that I really love and I haven't in years.
I love relaxing and always have. Sadly, you get less of it the more you want it.
Its opposite for me. Having something to love on is relaxing.
Something* not someone*... I'm writing this down!
It's the opposite too. The more you get of it, the less you want it.
Sounds a lot like depression.
You're probably right.
While I know it's difficult, I would strongly suggest to keep trying things. Especially together with other people.
I have found great succes volunteering with a lifeboat station. I find myself passionately talking about it to anyone who will listen, which is something I haven't experienced with anything else so far.
It has certainly done wonders for my mental health.
When you imagine bad things happening to you and how you'd react. Is your default reaction "I'd go home and go to bed"?
Sounds about right.
One idea might be to get off screens. They release a ton of reward chemistry and make the rest of life seem flat, boring and unable to bring you joy. If you detox for long enough and allow yourself to be bored (which is a word for motivated to act) you may find your situation changes
That's actually scientifically true I feel so much better not being addicted to FB and the other nonsense.. and I keep myself occupied with around the house projects and car stuff
Honestly, this makes me sad. I have so many things I love. It's what makes life worth living.
lol that must explain why life doesn’t feel worth living
get ready for lots of patronizing replies!
continues to doomscroll reddit
I was not committed enough to any one thing even before reddit. Reddit is a consequence not a cause. I just don't feel strongly about much at all
Depression
Plus having adhd doesn't help.
Both gang rise up
Nah
fair
Tomorrow
Thanks mate, you made me realize I need to stop doom scrolling and get off my ass lol
Same here, /u/Eponym is a hero.
I would kill to care enough about something to doom scroll.
Man, I always feel like I have a healthy relationship with games. I only play one at a time, I play it until I beat it (unless it's really bad, really good, or unending). I take my time, stop to appreciate books or puzzles or design elements or crafting systems or whatever. I don't multitask- no food or phone while playing, just focusing on one thing. And I almost exclusively play narrative-heavy stuff, which scratches the same itch as a good book for me.
And yet, it still feels weird and almost embarrassing to say that it's what I spend my free time doing, even as more and more people turn to it as a hobby.
Yep. Because it wasn't socially acceptable for a long time. But the truth is most people do have something they nerd out about from time to time. Movies, gardening, their diet (lifestyle), etc. Maybe you just haven't found the right people. Don't let that stop you from being your authentic self! If people can talk endlessly about a musician's personal life, I think it's ok to talk about a hobby you enjoy.
There was an alzheimer's study done a while back, that concluded that even scrolling or clicking activates the brain enough to make a difference in dementia/alzheimer's rates over just staring at TV, for example.
You spend time thinking and consciously exploring a more fleshed out entertainment format. It's not your fault that other people are plebs!
Online gamers are fucking awsome to work with in the engineering industry.
They handle stress well, they have good social skills even the people who dislike social interaction. They understand if you fail at your task the team will fail, aka they speak up before the project fails. Any system they learn in a short time.
No I am not talking about people who play COD solo.
I am shocked to meet engineers who can not fucking use copy paste on a keyboard.
I think alot of it has to with it being seen as a useless hobby. I dont consider it a hobby, its my relaxtion in the evenings and on the weekends when id be watching tv anyways.
Celebrity gossip is a useless hobby that some how is multi-billion dollar industry.
Same could be said about sports fans. Unless you're actually on the court/field playing the game or coaching, knowing the stats for players for multiple teams across multiple years and having debates on whether the 93 bulls jordan could be beat lebron is a useless skill.
Luckily I work in the entertainment industry so I don’t have this problem when I tell people how I spend my time lol
almost embarrassing to say that it's what I spend my free time doing
this is very strange to me. I'm mid 30s now and as long as I can remember 80-90% of my free time (sometimes more guitar playing, sometimes more TV watching, etc) has been devoted to video games.
Did you have a bad experience with someone making fun of you when you were a kid or something? I play 4-12 hours a day now (closer to 18 hours a day in college) and always have spent similar time, but have never felt weird explaining that to people in real life.
I do that when I play story-driven games.
But when I'm not I have like 4 different factory games (factorio, satisfactory, DSP, etc.) going at the same time and every time I open one I forget what half of this shit even does. I have to relearn the mechanics and sometimes just say fuck it and start a new world.
I love it.
I think how healthy this is depends mostly on how much you play. You didn't really say how much time you dedicate to your screen.
I feel that. I game a lot but I can’t stick to one for more than like 2 hrs before deciding I want to do smth else
You described me prior to find plants. I think maybe you just haven't found your passion yet.
Imagine just never finding it, though. There's a little dread for your day, take care now.
Look at Mr. Bigshot over here, feeling so passionate about other people feeling passionate.
Plot twist: they’re all about Matty Healy (according to my wife)
I misread this twice as Matt Berry and now I’m thinking about how funny that would be
That would explain all the songs about Jackie Daytona.
Jackie Daytona is the normal human bartender at The Black Dog.
Hes from Tucson Arizonya fyi
Matt berry is too good for her
Tayyloorrrrr Swifftt-aaaaaaaayyy
The timeline where Matt Berry breaks Taylor Swifts heart is now the only one I want to live in.
I keep reading it as Matt Heafy, the frontman for Trivium
Me too hahaha I seen someone booked a Cameo from him thinking it was Healy and he poked fun at them for it
He’s great in whole nine yards
Yeah, according to my wife, Swift is very butthurt that her fans didn't like her fucking Matty Healy.
It's an extremely embarrassing look for tswift to make a double album over a two week situationship with a known racist misogynist
That's the thing, apparently the situationship started before she started dating the Joe bloke. So for years she fantasized about the bad boy, only to be ghosted by him. That bruised lil' Tay's ego to the point that she had to write 30 songs that allegedly all sound the same, boring as fuck
She thinks that choosing the biggest douchebags on the planet to go out with makes her tortured.
Plot twist: some of them are about Joe, but most are about Matty. Two (or more) about Travis, One about Kim K, One about a childhood friend, one about her cats, one about touring/the music industry, and more. (according to ME!)
edit: since my karma is dying i guess we can conduct this post mortem…
Not all of them
Except for the one Kim Kardashian diss track.
I have 3 questions:
Who's Joe Alwyn?
Who's Matty Healy?
Why should I care?
I don't know/care either, but that's ok. Not everything is for everyone, and we should all just let eachother enjoy things.
I don't actually have answers for the first two, aside from Taylor's exes, but for the last point on your list, you don't need to if you don't want to.
I feel like Taylor is a lot like the Royal family in England - there are people who follow every move and want to know every detail about their lives, but then there are also a lot of people who don't particularly care and it's very easy to simply not engage if you don't have interest.
I would also argue that not knowing all the details of Taylor's personal life doesn't really detract from listening to the music. Sure, there's a deeper rabbit hole there if you do learn all the back story, but I still feel like "So High School" is a catchy song even if you don't know anything about Taylor's romantic history (lots of other good Taylor songs too, "So High School" is just the first one that popped into my mind - perhaps because it is the wifey's new favorite :-D).
This is my wife watching 90 Day Fiancé or The Masked Singer. I'm just in awe by her excitement.
I briefly had a GF who was obsessed with Masked Singer to the point where she would yell at anyone who spoke when it was on. It only lasted 3 weeks before I exited that relationship, but I’m told me recognizing T-Pains voice and guessing he was one of them ruined the entire season for her.
So I’d never seen the show before and my buddy loved it and she was convinced she haaad to show me all these clips of this one singer after the season had finished. I dunno if she thought it’d be fun for me to not know who it was or if she thought I’d get hyped about it so much that it’d get me into the show or something.
But I guessed correctly halfway through the first performance and had my concrete answer by the time the second performance started. My response must not have been at all what she expected—she was so disappointed.
But as a kid who grew up in the 90s how the fuck do you not recognize Seal within a minute of hearing a song he’s singing????
Just like that 90s Seal sings the song, sounds like he’s singing: ooh ooh ohh aren’t we a little bit crazy.
This is me watching Is It Cake
Is it that much different than most guys and sports?
Lmao 90 day. My bf called me an addict for that show. It’s just hilarious and Tbf made me feel better about my life choices HA
Same!
Everything is so serious and stressful in my life that 90 day fiance has become the non serious stress relief.
More Big Ed and Baby girl Lisa!
To have a passion for something....must be nice.
I have a passion for expensive, complex board games, but my wallet openly weeps while sustaining it lmao
Are you enjoying Kickstarter project 533 with 80 plastic mini figures and 200 hours of campaign that you'll play 3 times and never again? All for the price of 300 dollars.
Do you actually play them? Every board game collector I know has a wall of board games but plays the same two or so games. They attempt to play them and try to convince the rest to join but after 30 minutes of trying to understand the rules we just give up and play video games lol.
That sounds like a problem for people with friends.
I suppose…but for that “something” to be a person (a stranger no less) is very weird to me
Meh tons of people are passionate about painters and their personal life. Not my things but I see how someone could get the same passion for any form of art and artist
Naw all celebrity-fan relationships are unhealthy and parasocial. You can love someone's work without obsessing about their personal life. Anyone who would call themselves a "Swifty" falls squarely in the latter.
Caring about a celebrity's personal life, which is what that person actually said, and obsessing over it aren't equivalent. Parasocial relationships form as audience members come to see the celebrity persona as a friend, not as they come to care even the slightest iota about their life.
Finally I can rebuke all those stuck up twats who know what parts and minute details of Picasso's personal life lead to the Blue Period.
Brb going to go call the LACMA curator a parasocial nut.
It's an interesting comparison, but Picasso is dead which removes almost all chances of having a parasocial relationship with him. If you can find me a historian that would defend Picasso against anything negative written about him, then that would verge into parasocial. I'm guessing historians don't invest emotional energy into their study of him and keep it rather objective. You see the opposite with fans and celebrities. It is purely emotional with very little objectivity.
I haven't felt excitement for anything in decades.
Other people care about Taylor Swift the way I care about X-Men '97
I'm glad we all have something
Kendrick v Drake enters the chat
Let's just call it what it really is...
These people are nerds. If you're into Swift, Drake v Kendrick, Cars, Sports, stonks, etc... You are on the same level as people that make spreadsheets for min/maxing Diablo builds, create lore for for their DnD characters, dudes who build model trains sets...
You're a nerd. We are all nerds.
I like to remind people that the term "fan" is short for "fanatic". Having a passion for something is fine, being a fanatic is never good.
There's a difference between supporting your local sports team, and hating the other teams and those who support them.
Legit my girlfriend and the circle of hardcore Swifties that I know hard pivoted their obsession onto that beef when Kendrick started dropping tracks. Renamed the group chat and everything lol.
Oh my god, THANK YOU. Every damn day with this as soon as I get home from work. “Babe babe, you gotta listen to this”
Proceeds to pause after every verse to explain it to be while my eyes glaze over.
I think it's kinda different because he is outing drake as a pedo and is implying he will be arrested. I think its a bigger deal than Taylor's ex BFs but I definitely get your point. Same energy for sure.
Marginally, but it's still almost entirely irrelevant to everyone besides Drake.
That's kinda the difference to me.
Kendrick v. Drake? Don't really give a shit.
Drake, one of the biggest pop stars on the planet, is under fire for allegedly being a pedo? That's more interesting.
Counter her swiftie obsession with a real silly band like king gizzard and the lizard wizard
Who tf are you calling silly?????
Us, we listen to music about trash and vomit. But it's some REALLY GOOD music about trash and vomit.
“Honey honey! Did you know THERE IS NO PLANET BBBBBB”
But Kepler 22b, that's the place for me
WOOOOOOO!
This is me and my fiancée.
My gf got me petrodraconic apocalypse; or dawn of eternal night. An annihilation of planet earth and the beginning of merciless damnation for my birthday so he's already a gizz enjoyer
There is nothing silly about the PetroDragonic Apocalypse; or, Dawn of Eternal Night: An Annihilation of Planet Earth and the Beginning of Merciless Damnation
You definitely have to go polar opposite. Something like GWAR may raise some eyebrows
honey this one's definitely about beastiality!
Tfw when I'm a hardcore swiftie and king gizzard and the lizard wizard fan 👀👄👀
You also have four eyes so something weird is def going on
My girlfriend loves hearing about unfinished, inverted or palindrome disco biscuits sets/songs.
Also seeing kgatlw this summer, fucking amped
HEY! I won’t stand for Gizz slander.
I'm sorry, do you think my name is Shane Lizard?
Ninja Sex party just might fill the position for you.
I’ve never understood people who follow the personal lives of celebrities so closely. I don’t even follow the personal lives of my extended family that closely.
I don't follow my own life that closely.
That shit runs deep. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15797023/
I wish my wife had a hobby or interest that brings me as much joy as DnD.
My husband and I do D&D together, it’s more his thing but he got me to try it with him and I really enjoy it!
Show her BG3
I just might...gonna get her a steam deck at some point.
Just a warning, in my experience, while it does run at 60fps on the steam deck the quality is very poor, the battery drains very quick and the deck gets super hot. I have the LCD one dunno if the OLED version does any better
Dated a Swiftie for a few months back in 2016. She thought they had a cosmic connection because they were born on the same day. It got old. Very quickly.
Parasocial relationships are weird.
Dated one for 6 months. Boy was that a trip.
It’s weird I like her music…whenever another artist covers it.
Over 300k people were born on the same day as Taylor Swift.
Approximately 265 people were born within the same minute as Taylor Swift.
Approximately 3.4 people were born within the same second as Taylor Swift.
Not a Swifty, but the album after she leaves Kelce will be glorious.
ugh did I misspell "Swifty?" I can't keep up with this stuff
Swiftie is the correct spelling.
It's not Swiffer?
I’ll give you an upvote.
A for effort
Or up for upfort
It’s Swiftian now and they practice Swiftianity.
I think I misspelled lol
Have you heard this glorious song by Meat Canyon? https://youtu.be/Tv9m3aXBgJU
It sounds just like something Taylor Swift would write and sing.
I actually heard someone say something similar about her husband, a comics nerd: "I wish I cared as much about anything as he cares about Batman."
This is being married to someone engaged in any fandom at all. I know all about the shared universe of an obscure podcast network my spouse listens to.
Plot Twist: He's ranked Divine in Dota 2
Comedian Nikki Glaser was on Howard Stern yesterday and she said she spent $25,000 recently traveling around to attend 13 different Taylor Swift concerts:
There are definitely bands I would do that for if I had the money.
People do (or at least used to, not sure if it's still a thing) that kind of thing with the Greatful Dead and Phish.
Well it’s the Grateful Ship of Theseus, now
I haven't heard that before, that's a good one haha
You’re totally right, the culture of riding along with the tour is such an interesting one.
Also, Dead and Co. are playing at the sphere in Vegas soon! Phish just finished their run there, I could never really get into phish, but the most of the time the venn diagram of the communities is a circle lmao
Drew Carey was on After Midnight the other day and damn near convinced me to go see Phish at the sphere.
Hell of a sales pitch, lol.
Same. Looked them up right after haha
I'm glad people are watching that show. I fear it will be cancelled after one season.
I think they post it all on YouTube, at least that's where I watch it.
I hope it keeps going. One of the very few decent things being made for TV. But most shows I like get cancelled quick so probably won't last....
Two of my moms are going to the Dead and Co show. One of them was a perfect example of a dead head tour follower that we’re talking about.
How many moms do you have?
4 actually. I lost my birth mom when I was 7, but I’ve had 3 other very important mother figures in my life so I’ve called them all some form of mom. One of them is my actual step mother, the others aren’t family related but still “raised” me in one way or another.
Edit: they’ve met each other through me, and live in different states but have become friends among themselves and go on vacations together.
Wholesome. Thanks for answering.
Man I lived in Chicago near Wrigley when the Dead came through and those people are disgusting. Sure there are lots of "normal" people going to that show but those hardcore groupies might as well be actual homeless drug addicts.
I can't tell if this is passion or delusion. Not the 25k, since she can presumably afford it. Rather, it's the undying love for a celebrity and even getting the same phone case.
I wish something brought me that much joy but at the same time, I'm not sure if I want that.
I think Nikki is still making amends for dissing taylor and then the footage ended up in Miss Americana.
I respond with Megadeth facts. Did you know you can get Dave's stage-played flying V for like $4500?
I went out to dinner with my husband the week her new album came out. There was a couple sitting right next to us and a solid 75% of their conversation was just the woman reading lyrics from the album off her phone to her boyfriend, with him giving the occasional chuckle or “wow.” It was astounding.
That was half my 6 month relationship with a Swifty
I’m so sorry 😂
Moderator removed comment
11d
I guess it depends on what that "something" is and who is judging.
Deep passion for bucket collecting? Not interesting to me in the slightest, but to each their own.
I would find the back story of why they even like bucket collecting interesting though
I appreciate fascination in the mundane. If someone can draw excitement from a rock, power to them.
Ok but a deep passion for a celebrity's personal life? Have a passion for something useful
Some deep passions are interesting. Loving Taylor Swift is not among them lol
Joining a cult of personality is the least interesting thing I can think of.
My wife seemed more excited about the album than anything ive done in years
When was your last album drop? Fans can get bored if you wait too long between releases.
I do wish I was passionate about anything. True story.
A very close friend dated a swiftie recently and the lesson we all took from it is that being a diehard Taylor Swift fan is a red flag.
Who is joe alwyn?
Who cares?
lol forreal. Will just assume he some actor or football star lol
I don't know why people get so excited when she drops another one of the most basic songs ever.
I swear Swifties are a fucking cult
I can confirm. I dated one.
I’ve seen Ween probably twenty times in my life. I’ve been able to score advanced copies of their albums, opened for them a couple of times, gotten lots of autographed crap, family members of mine through the connection have designed official t-shirts and tour posters.
I couldn’t tell you one thing about the members personal lives. Hell, I forget their real names half the time.
This is my thought exactly. I’m very passionate about music, but I just don’t engage with it through the artists lives/drama. If you’re super into Taylor Swift for the music, that’s great! It’s just that what I mostly see seems like celebrity worship to me, not genuine music appreciation.
I wish I cared about swifties as much as everyone posting about swifties.
Hardly see any actual posts from swifties.
I mean if you want to balance that out, /r/TaylorSwift is right over there, but yeah in general I agree lol.
Well tbf this is the opposite of all those "Guys think of only one thing" memes and the ladies have a lot of suggestions for that one.
I drop or stop caring about most things a few months in. I feel the same way. I wish I was passionate about something anything.
Being a swiftie is a deal breaker.
I still don't understand the fandom. Not one single song stands out. She feels like the most boring artist ever. Not unskilled, just boring.
I agree. I don’t think her music is bad but it all sounds the same to me with the same plots for the songs.
Best advice.. Don't marry a swiftie
“Are you aware that all your performance reviews for all your previous assignments have been ‘Lacks enthusiasm’?”
Honestly, I love being her fan! I made new friends and even connected with a distant cousin because we both enjoy her music and both attended her concerts. It also gave me something to talk about and form a relationship with my SIL!
Any obsession with a billionaire is weird. Especially one that exploits their fanbase for money.
Thank God my wife doesn't waste money on albums or tickets to go see her, just uses Spotify to listen to some of her songs.
Tbh this is what my wife thinks when I talk about the band Phish.
The closest I’ve gotten to this has been this past week with the Kendrick and Drake beef. I’ve been telling my wife all about it and I know she doesn’t care.
I listen to her music, even own 5 of her vinyls but I have no clue what her favorite food is, what each song is referencing because I’m not mentally ill just a fan of the music not the artist.
Divorce! Immediately
Does she write nothing but breakup songs? Is she the female Trent Reznor?
I never said that to anybody because I fear people would find me weird, but I never understood fanatism. I've never been a die-hard fan of anything. Music, movies, games, sports, whatever - I just don't get how someone can invest so much attention/money/time into those things. I do love a lot of stuff, but I don't need merch, memorabilia, reading news about VIPs, autograms or anything like that.
I wonder if there are more like me?
You sound like you would get along with my coworker, he is very much the same. Super nice guy but I was once telling him about my Transformers collection and that I couldn’t sleep because I was so excited about the Bumblebee movie and he laughed almost pityingly, shook his head and said “that’s just sad”😂
I'm about the same. I like a lot of things but never key in to anything specifically to that degree of devotion. Most I got was following the Lakers closely for a few years but even then I don't think I would have freaked out if I saw Kobe in person. Would have just been a, "Oh cool I bumped into Kobe today," kind of reaction.
Absolutely. Mention any of my niche hobbies wife can't be bothered to feign interest but for whatever reason I need to know all about Taylor Swift....
People actually think this is funny? Did someone post this to the wrong sub?
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