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AITA for Ignoring my boss when she calls me the wrong name?
NTA. I actually like your tactic. If she isn't professional enough to say your name correctly then she doesn't deserve your attention.
If you corrected your boss and he still calls you wrong, then it's on him her
If you haven't corrected your boss, then you're petty.
Edit: if you corrected her and she still calls you Courtney, then tell her you don't appreciate it because you feel like you're being belittled.
And because it's not actually my name?! Wtf?..
You need to read before you give your opinion.
I disagree with your second point simply because I believe that a good or at least decent boss would be bothered to remember the names of the ppl they interviewed/hired. Once you’ve hired someone, forgetting their name shouldn’t happen especially since now they have to be onboarded and with all that comes with that, the boss should definitely have that shit down by that person’s start date.
I can understand needing to be reminded of certain pronunciation of harder names but damn it if you just hired Bob two weeks ago then you better remember his damn name is Bob.
Well said. You are doing right OP. Even I sometimes do the same.
This one for sure.
NTA, but instead of ignoring her, correct her every single time until she gets it right. “That’s not my name, my name is Adrianna”. “What did you just call me? Remember that’s not my name” You may remind her of someone she knew by that name and that’s why she keeps messing it up. If she has a sense of humor and it continues, respond by calling her a random ass different name each time she gets yours wrong. “I’ll get right on that Nancy!” “No problem Beth!” Sometimes you have to train people, even your boss lol
This. A guy I work with kept calling me Melissa—I’m not Melissa. So after I purposely called him Mike (not his name) in a Slack chat, he went back and saw he totally called me the wrong name and apologized profusely (though it wasn’t his first time calling me Melissa lol) now it’s our little inside joke at work and we purposely call each other random names.
I had something similar- two sisters I know have names that have the same cadence when spoken, and sometimes I would accidentally use the wrong name. I know how much that bugs some siblings, so I tried hard not to mix them up, but after I’d done it about three times and realised with frustration that my brain was failing to communicate properly with my tongue, I said “Aaargh, that’s it, ok, you’re now Fred!”
We all gave each other unassociated boy’s names, which stuck as a private joke for a few years.
Teach English in China, all the kids have their “English names”. I’m terrible with names at the best of times. Gina and Julia I get mixed up constantly. Gina gets well annoyed at me! But they look completely different.
Got a new class, two near identical twins walk in, dressed exactly the same, every class, exactly the same. Same water bottles, same hair clips. Fairy and Fiona.
Fortunately, Fiona always sits on the right. Otherwise I’d be fooked!
True story: I ran a store that was attached to a restaurant. We had about 75 employees and the restaurant had 350. Of course we had daily interactions with most of the employees from both the store and restaurant, everyone was mixed. Anyway, there was a young lady who worked for the restaurant but I seemed to run into her on a fairly regular basis, on the stairs or in the bathroom. She always greeted me by name very enthusiastically and I always replied also greeting her by name. One day my assistant and I were going down the stairs and ran into her. I greeted her by name as usual "Good morning Christina". She replied as always. Then my assistant said Who is Christina? Her name is Caroline or something like that. LOL I still don't remember it! Anyway I said No, this is Christina. We both turned to her and she looked really embarrassed but finally said My name is Caroline but I really like the name Christina so it's okay if you call me that. I said to her I've known you for 2 yrs and you've let me call you the wrong name all this time and never corrected me?? Why? I could see she was very embarrassed so I left it at that and I called her Caroline Christina from then on. I realized she was very young and intimidated by those in Mngmt positions.
But from my point of view, I felt like a twit calling her the wrong name for all that time. How many ppl had overheard me calling her the wrong name and not said anything? There were almost 450 employees with a constant turnover so it was, in fairness, hard to remember all those names especially if they weren't my employees and I wasn't constantly seeing their names in the paperwork. I think for some reason our brains choose a name for someone when they remind you of another person with that name even though it is subconscious. I think it likely your boss knows someone from their past who you resemble in some manner so they have arbitrarily assigned you that name. I think she would be very embarrassed, as was I, if you allow her to continue to call you the wrong name. I would stick your head in her office when no one else is there and just tell her. Say: I just want to tell you my name is xxxxx; you have been calling me xxxx for the past few weeks. I guess I must remind you of another xxxx but I thought I should let you know I'm not xxxx, my real name is xxxx. I would feel a bit embarrassed hearing that if I was your Mgr but overall I'd be very grateful you told me, and told me in private. I'd hate for me to continue to say the wrong name for years and no one say anything. And the good part is you will stand out now, she'll remember you...hopefully when it's promotion time!
Back wow, thirty or forty years ago, my dad hired a guy to work in his auto repair shop.
As far as he knew, the guy's name was Fred.
After a couple weeks - and a couple paychecks - he got the guts to tell his new boss (my dad) that his name was actually Ted.
Ted worked for dad for at least 5 years, probably closer to 10, and the whole time, he was known as "Ted Fred."
That is wholesome. :)
I agree with everything you said here - great advice on how to bring it up, and in private.
This is what my supervisor recommended I do with a manager who kept getting my name wrong. After correcting him many times, I started addressing him by the wrong name. He was shocked! While he never apologized, he suddenly could remember my name.
I have "two first names" - my surname is common, possibly more common as a first name - and my stupid employer screwed up the Exchange data so everyone comes out as "Smith John."
This leads to a lot of people calling me by my last name as if it were my first. (I understand that calling people by their last name is common in some countries or companies, but not here.)
So I just call them by their last name until they cut it out.
My husband used to work in a tiny IT department that was 4 people including his boss. His boss could not call the lone female the right name to save his life. Let's say her name was Penelope. He would say any P name except hers (which was actually a pretty common and easy name). So my husband and his co-worker in good fun would also call her any P name except hers. She found it amusing when they did it because she knew it was in jest and making fun of the boss and not her.
I'm right on top of that, Rose!
God, I'm old lol
"As we've discussed several times, my name is Adrianna, and I would like you to stop addressing me as Courtney. That has never been my name."
Repeat that every time, in a normal tone and volume of voice, in front of whoever happens to be there, without varying your cadence, inflection or any other facet. Every single time.
Or just go to HR and ask them for advice on how to deal with somebody who persistently and knowingly refuses to refer to you by your name.
"Who's Courtney?" Every time.
A primary school teacher I had kept calling me Hazel, which is not my name. I was told I reminded her of her daughter. Years later, I found out her daughter wasn't Hazel either!
So true
No, no you are not.
My full name is Katherine. I’ve gone by Katie my entire life. I worked at the same company for 10 years and the name Katie was listed in the company directory, my email signature, my voicemail greeting, etc. I answered the phone “Insurance company with deer logo, this is Katie.” No matter what I did, there were still people who called me Kathy. I even had a guy tell me that Katie isn’t short for Katherine, it’s short for Kathleen (what?).
I got in trouble for responding to “Kathy” emails by asking if the message was supposed to go to someone else. Worth it.
I also had to call 911 on my drunk ex because he let himself in to my house one night and refused to leave. I locked myself in the bathroom until the police arrived. One of the responding officers called me Kathy and my ex, whilst handcuffed and about to be mirandized, said “dude, she’s not going to answer if you call her Kathy.”
At least your ex knew the drill. 😂😂
Well he got one thing right! Ngl that shit made me giggle
🤣🤣🤣
Dumbass drunk ex: Dude do not pick that fight!
Cop: slowly starts to fear for his life if the drunk disorderly guy is trying to disarm the situation
This is terrifying and hilarious
Katie can be short for Katherine and Kathleen.
???
Katie/Katy/Kate is absolutely used for Katherine... tf
People seem to mishear my name all the time! It's Jennie, but I keep being called Kelly! I don't get it 🤷♀️
Mind you, I once worked with someone who reminded me of someone else called Wendy. I didn't actually know her name, so would simply avoid saying it!
After roughly 2 years, I confessed to her that I didn't know her name & had been referring to her in my head as Wendy. Her name was actually Emily.
Turned out, she hadn't known my name either (we were on different teams that crossed over for a few hours every 10 days)!
For the next 4 years, until she left, we called each other Wendy. I couldn't tell you how many people we confused, but it was a lot! 🤣
Not saying it’s universal but what makes it extra weird is I’ve only ever met one Kathleen out of idk how many who went by Katy (she spelled it for me after I accidentally called her Kathy in the morning) and it just felt so awkward seeing Kathleen and trying to say Katy.
That last paragraph was fun to read, because I had zero clue how it was going to tie in to this. Good job, lol
NTA. Being called by your name is literally bare bones, bottom of the barrel, basic respect towards a person.
NTA. Absolutely ridiculous. You may want to give a hint to her like look over one time and say "Are you trying to get my attention? My name is 'Adrianna', I'm not sure who 'Courtney' is." After that, just ignore her.
NTA but she is your boss. If she thinks you're just ignoring her without the context of her getting your name wrong, it may backfire.
NTA but I would also let her know “my name is Adrianna and going forward I will not respond if you call me Courtney.”
NTA.
Our CEO is old and getting senile, but likes to do his MBWA (Management By Walking Around). He knew my name when I was hired, but one year in he started calling me "Sport" or some other random nickname. Then I observed him doing the same thing with other people.
When I was promoted to management he started remembering my name again, since I interacted with him weekly.
Some people are just bad with names. That includes me, Sport.
Yes, but he was using a generic nickname and wasn't calling you a name that isn't yours. And he wasn't your direct boss, interacting with you daily.
This is way worse than being "bad with names."
“When people get a little too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.” - Ron Swanson
Wear a giant name tag to work !!! Put your name as artwork in your space !!!!
I already ordered a name tag 😂
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
I am ignoring my boss because she keeps calling me the wrong name. When she calls me the wrong name I still know she is talking to me
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Your boss isn't Meryl Streep. She doesn't get to do that.
NTA I work with a guy who calls me by my other coworkers name and I legit refuse to acknowledge him. I’ve told him that it wasn’t my name and he worked with me before he knew her. But the guy I work with acts like he’s stupid
NTA. Please do yourself a favour and correct her every time she refers to you as Courtney. I don’t know if your boss is asserting some odd power play or just being an ignorant boss who doesn’t know her staff but it needs correction.
NTa start using the wrong name for her
NTA, that's strange. have you asked her why she keeps calling you the wrong name? Maybe she has a friend or family member that looks a lot like you?
You're not wrong for ignoring it, but I'm not sure it's the most effective tactic since she's your boss. Having a conversation about why it happens is probably a better option. Having a conversation is not the same as just correcting her.
Did you correct her the times before? NTA but your boss may think so, fair or not.
Just call her the wrong name
NTA. She is being rude and not valuing you as a person if she can’t remember your correct name.
Nta. Only answer if she's looking at you, otherwise don't turn around. Also pick a day of the week and remind her your name when she says it wrong.
I've been working for the same company for 7years and they still can't say my name right and it pisses me off so much it's hella rude.
NTA. Unless she's some amnesiac or some old lady with dementia, there's no reason to even call you Courtney. So, no, NTA. Question though, is there a Courtney in the workplace she's confusing you with or is it just some random name she's calling you?
There is no Courtney
At this point, it's a hostile work environment and I would consider going to HR. She's either deliberately being a jerk to you or has cognitive issues that would impact her job.
If the same old isn't working (i.e. saying 'That's not my name, my name is Adrianna," then I would change the conversation. If the conversation is unusual enough it may trigger her to remember. Try "Hey, out of curiosity why do you always call me Courtney?" Wait for her to answer. Don't rush the conversation or brush it off, the point is to make the conversation polite but memorable.
I had a boss early in my career - she was petite and I considered her a mentor. I had a boss more recently who was also petite and I also considered her a mentor. Those were the only similarities (lived in different states, different ethnicities, different jobs, different hobbies). But for whatever reason my mind insisted they were the same and I'd constantly have to pause before saying the more recent boss's name, I always wanted to say the old name. I have this problem often with names and faces. But I made the effort. Paused before speaking, reread anything I wrote that had her name, etc.
NTA, but if she is calling deliberately you by a wrong name then she WILL do other crappy things to you that might even lead to you being fired. So be careful how far you go.
When I was a teenager playing a lot of amateur baseball I was often called my dad's name as he had been involved in those leagues long before I got old enough to play. My response became " today I'm going by [my name]" or "Today I've decided I want to be called [my name]"
I support you in this. But I’m also petty as hell. I have a very common name, usually spelled with 2 Ls, but also with 1. Mine is with 1. If I see it spelled incorrectly I correct it. Or act like we must have a new hire because that clearly isn’t me. 🤷🏼♀️ it has worked like a charm or people are afraid to keep it up lol
NTA. She needs to learn your name. If she’s doing it on purpose, she needs to grow up.
NTA. However be careful. She's still your boss and can make your life miserable. A simple "im sorry what did you call me" and "who's that?" When she says Courtney and then forcing her to use your correct name should work after a few times. But don't ignore her. She may go on bitch mode and try to write you up.
NTA I usually just let people rename me for the petty sake of how confused or embarrassed they get later on. Can’t talk shit about me if you don’t know my name lol
No you’re right. Stop answering to Courtney because who tf is Courtney? If she wants to talk she can call you by your actual name. Or you could just pick a name for her. Call her Brenda from now on
"Boss, remember we've talked about this. My name is Adrianna, not Courtney. Your memory lapses are starting to concern me. Should we call your (spouse, child, doctor) and have them come get you and set up an appointment with your doctor?"
That should either shut them up or get HR involved where you can make a point that you have corrected your boss and they're still showing you disrespect. Which will likely solve the problem.
NTA
Call her Courtney
ignore her
Can someone please order OP one of those desk name plates, STAT!
How annoying, ignore or correct, your choice.
NTA.
Our Kathleen is Kate. Her other grandmother is Kathleen and she is called Kathy. I’ve never heard our Kate be called anything but Kathleen or Kate. The boss is the AH here. Once I can understand but more than that? Nope. Here’s the best one though. My name is Mary Frances. It’s not Mary. It’s Mary Frances. That’s how I introduce myself. Hi! I’m Mary Frances. Hi Mary. Nope. It’s Mary Frances. Tell me truthfully Reddit readers. Is it hard to remember Mary Frances?
NTA
Calling someone by the wrong name intentionally is a power move. It's designed to make someone feel subservient and demeaned.
Don't accept it. I see three possible solutions:
A) Give her one more come-to-jeebus moment - tell her flat out, "That's not my name and you know it. I've told you multiple times what my name is, and you keep refusing to use it. Call me the wrong name one more time, I'm making an HR complaint." Bonus points if you refuse to tell her any more more what your name actually is while giving the ultimatum; you already told her, she already knows, she doesn't need to hear it again.
And follow through. One last chance, then go to HR.
2) You also have the option of simply going to HR now. She's given you more than ample reason to do so. Of course, if you do it without the advance threat, she'll pretend to be completely blindsided by it: "You might have at least talked to me about this before you made a complaint! This is horrible, mean, nasty behavior! You're trying to destroy my career over such a petty, insignificant, nothing, made-up problem! It's all YOUR fault!"
d) Don't have an HR or a higher supervisor to complain to? Do a power move yourself, and start calling her by male names. And... forgive me for making assumptions, but this person sounds like a typical asshole who would be absolutely incensed if you limit the wrong names to "ethnic" names, i.e. names you might find in Asian, South American, or African cultures. You know, mix in a few Freds and Jims and Big Mikes in there for variety, but don't skimp on the Juans and Ivans and Mohammeds and Mamorus.
Whichever you choose, do not simply ignore her. She can spin that badly for you and feign ignorance of your issue. You have to speak up and actively advocate for her to use your name correctly, and make it crystal clear that her use of an incorrect name is the problem.
NTA
NTA: I'd just all your boss "Gary" ( assuming your boss' name isn't Gary) in response to being called the wrong name.
I've done this before - it's funny when delivered well, and drives the point home.
Ugh. I don't know about this one.
On the one hand, you're right. If you're staying any length of time she needs to get your name right. Problem is, you have to correct that delicately because she can make your daily life miserable and even has the power to get you fired if she wants. I'm almost wondering if she's a miserable person who's getting a thrill out of goading you and seeing you quietly seethe because she knows you need the job.
Stan Lee used to call me by my wrong name all the time. He was terrible at names. I was on staff at Marvel in the 80’s and 90’s. Ask anyone. But your boss isn’t Stan Lee. That’s just being jerky, honestly. Keep ignoring it.
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We see eachother face to face and have conversations everyday. Yet she still calls me "Courtney", my name is "Adriannna". Just like these two names, my actual name holds no resemblance to "Courtney"
I am starting to ignore her now whenever she calls me "Courtney". One part of me is all for it. The other side is arguing with the fact that I know she is talking to me, so I should just answer.
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16d
😂 well good thing my name is actually adriannna
NTA
She is clearly talking to Courtney, you're Adrianna after all.
Try calling her the wrong name and when she says my name is so and so. Tell her ok so since we are correcting names, mine is Adrianna. I'm glad we got that settled.
Reminds me of Miranda in The Devil wears Prada, constantly calling Andrea Emily. Only she got away with it.
NTA at all. Everyone gets a name wrong every now and again - when I’m tired or stressed I switch my team’s names about, but I always immediately react with a cannon of sorries and the correct name. Plus my team know me well enough to joke about it. It sounds like your boss just can’t be arsed and that makes her the AH.
NTA
I’d perhaps understand if your name was like mine (it’s Irish, so automatically isn’t spelt how it sounds 😂). I often get called multiple names and have to correct folk.
Correct your boss, if you haven’t already. Continue to ignore her if she ignores you reminding her that Courtney isn’t your name. If she doesn’t get the hint, maybe speak to HR?
NTA no other infor needed
INFO: how long has this been going on? Does she do this to anyone else? (Maybe has some kind of memory issue.) Did there used to be a Courtney? Does she do this in written formats? What do other people think when they witness her doing this? Has her boss ever witnessed it?
If it has been a short time, like a 1 month or 2, I would actually have a conversation with her. Ask why she keeps calling you a name that is not yours.
If it has been a long time, continue to correct her instead of ignoring it. She might remember after some time.
My mother in law calls me by one specific wrong name pretty consistently. I've been with my wife for nearly 20 years, married for 12. It's annoying but not the end of the world.
NTA. That’s ridiculous. If she doesn’t have the basic respect of learning your name, you have no obligation to answer to a different one. Not responding until you receive the desired behavior is a proven pet (and human) training method— operant conditioning.
How long have you worked for this person and how many other employees report to her? It is possible your boss has some memory issues and isn’t forgetting your name on purpose.
This has to be deliberate. Who knows why but you should definitely pretend to ignore her and start calling her something besides her real name as well.
NTA
NTA
if he is not using your name that means he is talking to someone else with that name
NTA. Your tactic is better than the one I would have chosen.
NTA
NTA but ignoring your boss deliberately may well open you up to disciplinary repercussions. You'd think it would be common sense of "my boss called a name that isn't mine, why should I respond to someone else's name?" but HR can always spin it on you and go "You knew your boss meant you, you should answer"
How old is your boss? Could it be some sort of early stage mental deterioration that hasn't been made public knowledge yet?
Have you asked her who Courtney is?
Many People who aren't good with names have groups of names and you get one name from the group.
So I've got female relatives so you could be called my sister, my mum or my daughter's name and man I really care for so that includes my husband and my son. their names are interchangeable.
At work I often have the person I go to with a difficult problem. in one company There were two of them so they got called either name, once they realised it wasn't an insult they treated it as a joke.
My mum has daughters and grandchildren. We can be called any one of those names. My official name is Lucy, Sarah, Jane! My daughter's is Hannah, Josie. (These are actually or made-up names for illustration purposes only)
Reminds me of the devil wears prada 😅
INFO: who is calling you TA for this?
NTA. I would encourage you to correct her each time she calls you Courtney!
When ever someone is talking about there uncle, I always ask Bob? As in Bob's your uncle.
I'd ask her why she calls you Courtney. You've told her it's not your name. She knows it's not your name. So there's obviously a reason why she's deliberately calling Courtney. Ask her what it is.
NTA. Id correct her every single time and I wouldn’t respond when she calls you another name. Does she do it in front of other people or call others by the wrong names?
Oh I always ignore people when they call me by the wrong name (person who apparently has a difficult first name here)
I figured I would forget to respond by the other name eventually. 😂
NTA. Unless she has memory issues or some brain damage, that’s intentional and could be some weird power play/bullying. Report to HR.
Start wearing a name tag to work!
Maybe she has aphasia. She thinks she's calling you by your actual name, but instead "Courtney" comes out of her mouth.
I recently legally changed my name. Boss occasional slips up--we worked together at multiple companies over more than 15 years. I cut him slack generally but sometimes will just say 'who?' In reply. He immediately apologizes and corrects himself. That is how people should be!
NTA at all. What’s with your boss? Are they an owner or do they have a boss as well? If so I’d talk to them after exhausting all other options. I’ve had a supervisor call me “sweetie and luv” but it was clearly because she couldn’t remember my name and others. I did discuss this with her and stated I feel it’s because she struggles to remember our names, however it’s still unprofessional (healthcare). Your boss is just being disrespectful IMO
NTA she will learn fast
Answer her by calling her a different name than her own! Maybe after a few times she’ll get the hint.
Wear a name tag that says, "Not Courtney."
NTA. I’d probably start saying things like “When did Courtney start working here? I don’t think I’ve met her yet”
“Oh I didn’t know Courtney was here since it’s just the two of us in the office”
“Courtney? That’s funny, I’ve always been told I look more like a actual name, I guess that’s why my parents named me actual name”
NTA but you can start correcting her EVERY time. Especially if there are people around.
I used to do that to a manager who kept calling me by a coworker's name. He'd end up coming over to me to yell the wrong name at me, and I'd remind him I am not coworker. The best part? We all wore nametags
If she is calling out the wrong name then NTA.
NTA, Start calling her the wrong name.
NTA, and honestly if I were you I would tell her if she wants a response maybe she should have the courtesy to remember your damn name. how absolutely repulsive.
I had someone do the same to me. I’m Indigenous, there was another Indigenous woman in our workplace but we worked in different areas and in totally different roles. I’m 5’8 with long hair and the other Indigenous woman was 5’4 and wore glasses. Our names had nothing in common, think Matty and Jasmine. I corrected her every single time until I started calling her by a different name. The name I picked was of a woman who was her total physical opposite. The first time I did it she was confused, the second time she was flustered, when she called me by my actual name I said I was the other name. I drove her crazy, she stopped calling me by the other woman’s name and my name. I accepted another position and before I put in my notice I filled a complaint with HR…I told them it was obvious she was implying we looked alike and this was unacceptable. They agreed, she had to take a cultural sensitivity course.
NTA. If ignoring her doesn't work, then this is some weird passive-aggressive thing that needs to be addressed by HR.
NTA - but I would straight up ask her "why do you consistently call me Courtney when my name is Adrianna?"
NTA. Why would you respond to anything other than your name?
NTA When my boss calls me by my predecessor’s name, I call her my old boss’s name. My predecessor was a bitch so it really bothers me too. I work really hard and she was crabby and useless.
She can literally learn your name. Make her.
Call her the wrong name a dozen times in a row. It’s aggressive and childish, but so is “leadership” that doesn’t take the time to get it right. Frankly it sounds intentional on her part unless she has dementia/alzheimers.
Does said boss call other coworkers by name incorrectly, or just you?
NTA. Start calling her Cheryl until she gets it right.. Unless that's her name, then call her Steve.
NTA
once I had a boss who would spell my name wrong and I never corrected her. she send me to therapy. I wish I had the same idea you have.
I give like a month to allow someone to fuck yo my name and correct them. After that? No im not Jacob or Jared or Jonathan or Justin. My name is jacorednathanin!
But seriously OP, that’s just disrespectful at this point
EDIT: NTA
...you think this makes you an asshole?!
Nta. Maybe up it some. Take monogram everything. Cup, purse, shirt, jacket, coat, notebook, pen, etc. Everything with your first name. If she still does it, it may be a power play, or she is super unprofessional.
NTA. If you don't take some action, you'll end up like me. We had new neighbors and we introduced at some point. They were renters, we had several come and go in our time, so wasn't expecting to interact too much with them. The next time we met, he called me Alan. That is not my name, nowhere near but for whatever reason I didn't correct him. They lived there 5 years and were still there when we ended up moving . We hung out, drank beer, kids played. The whole thing. At some point it was just gonna be even more awkward to correct so in that situation I was just resigned to be Alan. He told Alan goodby the day we left, and the piece of me named Alan was gone forever.
NTA. You're absolutely right to ignore her when she won't say your actual name. If she gets demanding or angry about you ignoring her, you can definitely clarify that you do not answer to the random name she's assigned you, and that if she addresses you with your actual name you will, of.course, respond.
How does she handle emails? Does she call you the wrong name in writing?
If it’s intentional and she thinks she’s Miranda priestly, ignore her
If she’s a scatterbrain and you remind her of ‘Courtney’ make a joke of it.
Your name is who you are, you should be called the right name
NTA they are not even close this feels like a deliberate move from her
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16d
She knows what she's doing keep ignoring her
NTA for not answering to not your name.
NTA....I had a boss named Mike and kept calling me a shortened version of my name. I'd had corrected him three times that I use my FULL name. He called me that name again, so I called him Mark.
He asked why I called him that, and I told him that I was following his lead and just using whatever name I liked. I thought he looked like Mark. Of course, I did it while he was introducing me to the district manager.
I was an interesting day....
When I was working downtown, the security officer at the building next door was named Jessica, but most people (me included called her Jennifer). She politely corrected me and the only other time I did that, it was due to me having just been on the company cell talking with an actual Jessica.
So we just started calling each other random names male or female. Even during normal conversations. It was hilarious.
No you ain’t the ass hole….your boss is the ass hole……
Ask her who Courtney is.
NTA.
Have you asked her why do you keep calling me Courtney? Do it with a smile and kind intention though
NTA. She needs to learn your name.
NTA, but it might not be malicious, I had a coworker who was a spitting image of an acquaintance of mine let's say John, like could be twins, but that wasn't his name ofc. So whenever not focusing extremely hard to remember my brain would default him to John, poor guy. I'd apologize ofc but it really wasn't on purpose.
NTA. I had a boss once who kept calling someone the wrong name, I started calling him a different name until he stopped (tbh can't even remember his name but the kind of thing where I called him Joe and his name was Steve or something along those lines). He would get so annoyed, I'd be all hmmm wonder how "Jane" then tells when you call her "Anna".........stopped him pretty quickly
I would respond to her with a different name that's not hers.
"Yes Edna?"
Of course you will be corrected and you simply say, I'll stop calling you Edna when you stop calling me Courtney.
Edit: NTA
NTA
sometimes people on other dapartments in our company misspronounce my name too (Im not sugarcoating your situation, your boss -who should know your name very well- might be malicious, or might not). when someone mispronounces my name, i reply by mispronouncing their name (once a person named Burhan mispronounced my name, and i replied by calling him Buhran (crisis). but im an old, petty, grumpy but good at his field man; so people tolerate me).
yet still NTA. if your name isnt spelled, you are not called and if you are not called, you are not obligated to react.
Nta. I would be mortified as your boss. I actually have a coworker with a name we don't have in English and has a sound I struggle with so bad, I promise I try. I have started calling him T since that's the first letter, but only after asking him in private if he is completely okay with it. The small world part is my director is also from the same country (we all live in the US) so it's only me who has this issue. Thankfully we're all remote, and I only had to learn how to type a special character to spell his name out and 99% of the time we speak via teams/email.
After a couple of corrections, I think o would say- why is it so hard to get my name right? Do you need a prompt? If that doesn’t work, I’d call them a wrong name.
NTA
That’s so weird. There’s nobody with that name in office, did she ever say why she calls you that? I’d actually be more direct „XY that’s not my name, I’ve told you plenty of times, is there an issue?“ but your approach sounds way more professional
NTA. But I think it's best to be a little more direct. "Could you please make the effort to learn my name? It's Adrianna."
NTA, she knows that you name isn’t Courtney, she just either doesn’t care or is trying to mess with you
I'd be leary if I had a boss that couldn't remember my name. Consider succession planning, talks with their boss and etc. Your performance may get washed for the simple fact your boss can't remember your name.
NTA
NTA
Wow your boss is so unprofessional to call you by wrong name. You have every right not to answer or keep saying “MY NAME IS NOT COURTNEY!”
I wonder if your boss maybe have a lost friend or family member named Courtney? I would not feel easy working with your boss.
If you have an HR department, I’d report your boss. This is beyond demeaning. No one could be “accidentally” calling you the wrong name after correcting them so many times.
If you have told her and corrected her when she calls you something that is not your name, I wonder what would happen if you responded to her by calling her something that is completely not her name?
NTA. This is an issue. She needs to call you by your name… some folks would take this to HR.
NTA. I work with a woman named Michelle and someone kept calling her Melissa, she just ignored them until they asked why she wasn’t answering them and she said “oh, I’m Michelle, not Melissa.” I don’t think they ever made the mistake again.
NTA - I'd just tell her up front the very next time, "you know that's not my name and I won't be answering to it." Then you've warned her.
NTA - if you have corrected her several times, I’d ignore her until she forces the issue and then say, “Oh my name is Adrianna, I thought we had talked about this a few times so I didn’t think you would still be addressing me as Courtney.”
Don’t let her get away with not addressing you correctly, if at all possible. Be polite but firm. People like this behave this way because other people let them get away with it.
NTA. We have the same name and my supervisor will sometimes call me Adrian. I completely ignore him now every time until he says it correctly. I used to correct him all the time until I got fed up.
Question.. why has nobody else said something by now?
She's doing it on purpose. Ignore her completely.
You should take this question to AskaManager. She's really good on exactly this kind of thing. NTA.
Absolutely nta! Me? I'd be petty af, and if talking to her in person, I'd look around and say who's (insert name). If talking on the phone or emailing her, I'd call her by a different name. Hell, I'd take the pettiness to the next level and tell her that every time she calls you by the wrong name she owes you $5.00. But that's just me!
NTA. It's one thing if she's making a mistake, but at this point it seems like it is on purpose.
NTA, at some point you have to believe she’s pulling some type of power play for some lame reason. Maybe she feels threatened by your ability or personality, but that isn’t your problem and since you’ve already corrected her, I would just refuse to respond to her
NTA, if she gets confused over your name, ignore her
By all means correct them again, but if they ignore your name, call them Oi !
Is she doing it on purpose or does she genuinely confuse you for someone else you might look like? Either way, NTA.
“I know she is talking to me, so I should just answer”
Nah that’s not the right mindset. Put some respect on your name
Nta
As someone whose name sounds like a hundred other names, I've found that singing The Ting Ting's anthem, "That's not my name," when people can't seem to get it right works really well.
How long have you been doing this job? Did Courtney have the job before you and left to go someplace else? I get wanting to have yourself addressed correctly, but there can be reasons. I try to be sure I don’t confuse the people with the dogs names who all live in my house, but it happens. And we have all done it.
NTA I would explain to her that if she doesn’t start using your real name, that you will report her to HR. What she is doing is creating a hostile work environment for you, and it needs to stop immediately. If that doesn’t stop her, start calling her George or Bill or something passive aggressive like that.
you need to record a "Who the fuck is Courtney" version of that song... and cue t every time....
"Courtney? Who the fuck is Courtney"
Have you corrected her?
Start calling her by the wrong name every time she calls you the wrong name. A different one each time. Amanda? Sorry, Alice was it?
I mean if you've corrected her more than twice than she's probably doing it on purpose.
NTA
NTA. But this feels really simple to handle.
"Hey Boss. You are aware that my name is Adrianna, yet you just now called me Courtney. Is there a reason you're deliberately calling me by the wrong name or is it a genuine mistake?"
Also, if you have HR, file a complain with HR. Document everything.
NTA, but I have to share this...I have a coworker who's name is Keisha but for some crazy reason I can't figure out I often call her Erica. I don't know why! It's insane! Of course, I correct myself and apologize and now it's become a big joke cause I really call her Erica! It's nuts but I would never expect to get an answer to it or accept it. She is so cool and everyone laughs at me cause I own this silly mistake. They tease me for getting old! I accept that lol. Good luck! I wish she could own it and acknowledge her flaw it could actually bring yall together like me and Keisha! I love her!
If they continue to call you the wrong name, it's borderline disrespectful. I'd just report it to their boss that it's intentional at this point and keep on ignoring them when they do it.
I have a very uncommon name that's almost exactly the same as a common name. I just don't respond anymore. It's not my name so clearly you aren't talking to me.
As someone with memory problems as a result of medication, I can attest to how difficult it is to get names right sometimes. I would have previously regarded forgetting someone's name is very rude, but I realise you need to judge your boss on how she reacts when you correct her. Does she seem to care that she got it wrong? Does she apologise? If so, keep correcting her and don't ignore her. However if she seems unbothered by her inability to remember your name, you may have to find a way to make her (like the suggestions in the comments, calling her by a wrong name too). I would caution against ignoring her long term as she is still your boss and it could be grounds for dismissal.
My daughter has a somewhat unique name. But it’s not hard to pronounce and is very phonetic when reading it. And yet she is called the wrong thing all the time. Even after correcting people multiple times. These people aren’t being malicious or have some grudge against her. It’s happened her entire life from childhood to now when she is a teenager. We even make fun of it and I call her the wrong name sometimes as a joke.
She just shrugs now because she realizes it’s nothing personal and it just is what it is. So I’d say yes YTA because I’m almost certain your boss isn’t doing this on purpose to piss you off. You’re acting very childish as well.
NTA next time she does it look around as if expecting there’s someone behind or next to you and look confused… then keep doing that repeatedly
Edit- I have a colleague who I know hates a nickname commonly used for her name and she’s asked me, whenever I hear it, to loudly address her by her preferred name whenever I hear it. I also pretend not to know who it is when people call her that: ‘Sam? Who’s that? Ohh Samantha!’
I called my neighbour Sally for two years..... her name is Beth. She really looks like a Sally to me. When I asked her why she didn't correct me, she hadn't even noticed I was calling her Sally. Took me a while to stop calling her Sally. Crazy thing was it was me correcting myself, she didn't even notice, my slip ups, after learning her name was in fact not Sally. Some habits are hard to break. I call her Beth now, but took me a while. Maybe just keep correcting her?
Start calling them Susan or Becky what ever is wrong
NTA - but I would remind her and ask her if certain names give her issues. There are 5 names that I ALWAYS mess up. I don't know if it's a processing thing, my autism or adhd, but it drives me crazy. One of them is my best friends name - and she's put up with me saying the wrong name off and on for years.
NTA. I had a boss who used to call me the wrong name. I was told to NEVER correct her. One day I just had enough so when she called me it I replied with my correct name. She said “oh sorry” and went on asking me to do whatever it was she needed. She was a cruel and horrible human being but she really didn’t seem mad that I told her my correct name.
Have you ever attempted to correct her? Does she even know that's your name? you let her think you were good with an alternate name; she may think that's *actually* your name.
Yes I have corrected her many times
*Yikes* fuck your boss then. 🤣
NTA. If she’s a boomer she may be developing dementia. I would give it a couple of days and then address it with the next person up in the chain of command. Unacceptable.
NTA- respect me, say it it correctly.
NTA you will respond to your name, ypu are not responding because thats not your name. Simple
NTA. Keep ignoring her until she learns your name, but I would invest in either a nameplate for your desk or a name tag for your shirt.
NTA I Would literally tell him/her/them a few times before starting to ignore them as well (and probably look for a different job as well).
Luckily this is only a seasonal job so I'm done once the season ends
That makes that easier. But still I can only imagine you being highly annoyed by this boss. You could of course also do the passive aggressive thing and call the boss a different name also :P
NTA
Send her an email explaining that she has repeatedly referred to you by the incorrect name, you have requested her to stop multiple times (be specific and include dates), the impact her lack of respect has on your day, and that you're formally bringing this to her attention in writing to ensure her behaviour is corrected. The trick here is to CC your boss and/or HR.
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