Wow, grammar class is going to get weird

NTA... where was BIL while she was breaking down? Socializing and thinking dirty and inappropriate thoughts, apparently... family shouldn't put you down for that. People don't have the extra spoons to deal with bullcrap while grieving.

I moved from Colorado Springs to Aurora in hopes of finding cheaper housing. It doesn't exist. Im moving out of state this month so I can finally own a home in a couple of years. You are not alone. Housing is depressing in this state. You can't buy a home because they say you can't afford the $2000 a month mortgage, but then they expect you to make $9000 a month so you can pay $3000 in rent.... I wish you luck!!!

It's hard to explain to someone your age, but the metrics you are rating him by do not apply to if he's a looser or not. It doesn't apply to if he's a creep or not... you are looking at him through the lens of a teenager. I feel young reading your response. The flags are the things it takes time and maturity to see. Those flags are also the more reliable metric. My ex-husband was also a hugely active guy in high school and looked like he was on his way to be a stellar adult... the flags were there, though, and he was not the great guy he seemed.

No, if he doesn't like your parents, steer clear of him! Your parents' rules are extremely reasonable. They are not being controlling at all. He doesn't like that hew being told no, as is very typical for males brought up in fundamental Christianity. (I grew up in fundamental Christianity, so please understand this comes from a place of understanding)

It does sound like grooming to me because he is respectful of boundaries with the intent that you will give him what he wants eventually. He is already setting the stage to isolate you from family once you are more in his grasp.

Fundamental Christianity also tends to run short on females because girls run from this high controlling environment. He would not be the first guy to "leave" the fold to groom a young girl and have her run away with him as she is close to 18... funny how as soon as you cut ties with family, he will find his religion again and demand you join him.

Leave him please!

I don't care what ethnicity someone is. If asking you to remove braids is to prevent bullying, it's unreasonable. The only reason to ask you to change your kids' hairstyle is if they ate hurting themselves with it. For example, a kid in my daughters class had super long braids. She would get mad, lock herself in the bathroom, and strangle herself with her hair. That qualifies as a good reason to request a hair style change. Other than that, I can't think of one.

Your fault and only your fault? Because his passport was expired? No, his fault. He should have looked at it once you started looking at the trip

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I was married to a guy like that... divorce made my life a lot happier by the way... just saying

You are not failing your baby at all. The things you are describing sound normal aside from the desire to end your life. Please call your doctor and tell them this. When we have babies, our hormones are all over the place. Then, when we have the baby, they settle a bit, but sometimes our body doesn't start making the hormones that let us experience joy correctly. We need a little help from the doctor the first few months until we can regulate.

Your husband's "heavy machinery" excuse is absolute crap. I get that he sees it as valid, but he is completely in the wrong. It doesn't matter what job you have, you both help with the baby because you both are the parents. He may have to work, but your body has to rest. You have grown and delivered a baby. Every aspect of your body is tired and needs healing. You absolutely can not do everything on your own while healing, and it's absurd for him to expect you to.

He's a new dad. He doesn't understand this stuff yet, but he can PM me if he needs it politely explained.

I think it's important to point out that at the end, you and the step daughters mom seem to imply that if you make your husband mad, he might physically harm you. If this is the case, the stepdaughter isn't the big issue here......

No, bridezilla doesn't deserve your services. That was insanely disrespectful of you and your culture. Block both the Bs. Jason needs to be told off asking you to reconsider, and Alice is a coward.

You did not ruin the wedding. They ruined it with their own terrible actions.

No, your kids are not your child care. They chose to make kids.

You shouldn't have to pay her to be in their lives. That's not good for them

Actually, nope. You handled this in an epic fashion. His request was entirely unreasonable. That fan fiction is a HUGE part of who you are and if he doesn't like it, you should NEVER be asked to change. It's absurd.

His yelling at you was scary. Props to you for not going ballistic on him for such a terrible reaction to something so personal to you. You handled that flawlessly. He blew up in a very unhealthy way - you realized you felt unsafe and ended the relationship. He back tracked. This is proof he didn't mean that he though it was cheating, just that he was jealous and wanted his way.... you asked him to leave.

The fact that he didn't leave immediately was a violation of your space... dude needs to grow up. That is fiction. Are authors cheating on spouses when they put scenes in books? No! They are being creative authors. You are being a creative author.

Keep writing! A better guy will come around, if you want to bother with him. Partners are not necessary if you are content with your own company.

I have been a sole provider as a SAHW.... cannot imagine acting like that in ANY scenario.

Not having dinner planned, sure. Cooking isn't everyone's thing. But whipping out the phone to take pictures instead of jumping up and asking what's wrong?! No. Of course you left! Fuck your breaking down and having a super shitty day to come home to your wife who's first response is "gathering evidence." What the actual hell? She doesn't feel safe when that's her first reaction.

No one has the right to touch your kid. It's a thing with older people in general in the US. Im white, and it's happened to me, too. I had two kids under three. My 2 year old (almost 3) was in the cart crying, and my newborn (whom I was wearing) was fussing. I was in check out and trying to get through fast so I could get them home, fed and onto naps.

This crazy boomer lady out of nowhere comes over and tries to remove my oldest from the cart. I ask her who the fuck she thinks she is and got that stupid "I'm a grandma and you need help" bull... this is during a time where 2 toddlers have been abducted from supermarkets in my area over that summer, so I was NOT playing with her.

It ended in her being really aggressive and telling me I was a terrible mother who had zero idea what i was doing. My kids were screaming, and security came over and physically removed her. Scariest moment of my life. The owner of the store apologized and said she was a long-term customer. This happens a lot, but she's ultimately harmless. I am not ashamed to say that I bitched and threatened legal until she was banned.

No one, and I mean NO ONE, has the right to lay a hand on your babies. Their intentions mean NOTHING. There are too many nut jobs in the world.

He needs to be patient and realize this is an extremely temporary situation. Pregnancy and all the things with it are usually unpleasant, and he's not the one suffering through it, you are. Pressure and guilt will not get him his way, but it might destroy the relationship by making you stressed. Stress, btw, doesn't lead to more sex.

He's being unfair and very selfish. You will get back to where you were. He's just gonna have to chill for a few.

Some states have facilities or supports for families that have kids like Jill. You are not alone. If you want to post your state, I can send you any and all support I can find that may be available to you.

Your marriage doesn't have to end. Your older kids don't have to live in fear. Jill cannot be raised without a village. Time to find you a village.

No. If the agreement is this day, this time then it does not matter if she is home so long as someone is there. In many states this is grounds for a restraining order or a change in visitation rights. I would take notes and see if you can go to court to modify. He has no right to refuse drop off. He does not legally have to see you. He knows your mom, there is no excuse

Huh, didn't know my kind existed in the animal Kingdom

... sounds like you want a doormat in a wife. I think you have a freaking gem and are likely not worthy of her time. She is who she always has been and you want her to become more docile so you feel comfortable committed to her? No, seems like you can't keep up and want her to change for you. Let her find someone who loves her and doesn't arbitrarily limit her

Not at all! We don't have to believe in the same things and peace comes from different forms. Im happy for you

Sounds like round ligament pain. I associate it with layer stage pregnancy, but it can happen whenever

Hes tasting for quality. Can you fight your enemies with these? No? Lemme sharpen em....

YTA, big time. She was in immense physical pain. You heard her suffer. She says fuck in frustration once right after that, is too fucking exhausted to mess with her phone and you now can't be bothered to take her home? Grow up! If this is affecting her to the point that she is acting differently, she needs you right now. Getting pissed at a single "fuck" after excruciating pain is absolutely understandable and wasn't even aimed at you. Seems like way more of a "fuck, this day blows" thing. Seems like you resent her for not being as bro like and for being human and struggling.