My girlfriend (F35) was in an emotionally abusive relationship with her ex-husband. She escaped the relationship by filing for divorce - she didn't want his money or financial support, she just wanted to ensure 50-50 custody.
He made so many irrational demands (including 100% custody) that his lawyer ultimately fired him. But he did have "right of first refusal for childcare" in the event she is out-of-town in cluded in the agreement.
The last three times for drop off, she arranged for her mother to be at home so she did not have to see him as he remains emotionally abusive. He is now demanding proof of her whereabouts before he will drop the boys off. This seems to me that he is trying to control her behavior.
If he does not drop off the boys, does she have any immediate legal recourse (e.g. call the police) or does she need to give him her location?
Does the custody plan say anything about who has to do the drop offs? Is it written that it has to be your gf? If he is refusing to drop off the kids as specified in the custody plan, she will have to take him back to court after he violates the plan. The police aren't going to be helpful.
I can't imagine a custody plan that requires her to notify him of her whereabouts unless it involves the children traveling with her- notification of vacation plans, etc.