Yes. Long before I knew I was a system we’d use we. It wasn’t conscious and someone made a joke about using the “royal” we and that became my excuse but yes we’ve always been we before we knew we were a we. 😜

I thought it was my brother gaming 😂😂😂

When I smoke it makes it easier for alters to front. Especially when tired and stoned they like jumping to the front and not just co-fronting.

Haha

Okee fine by me. Rather that than some toxic BS

Ohhh wow thank you! 🥰

Touchy much?

It took decades. I’m 45 and maybe in the last 5 years I’ve gotten more comfortable. I just finally hit a point where I’m like f-it this is who I am and if you don’t like it please go. I’ve been so much happier after unmasking I wish I could have done it sooner in life!

Yup. We all have big ouchies.

Didn’t know that one existed.Thank you!

I dated non-systems for the majority of my life simply because I was masking and hadn’t even realized I was a system. It didn’t work out and I was left feeling more alone after the relationships. Now that I’m diagnosed and aware and have tried dating it is hard. Non-systems no matter how understanding just don’t seem to get it. I’m sure there are great people out there that would be understanding and tolerant but they aren’t easy to find.

While the idea of being alone sucks I would rather that than be in another relationship where I have to hide any part of who I am. I sadly have no advice for finding and dating other systems but wanted to say you’re not alone. I’ve been focusing on healing myself over this last year and getting into a place where I am comfortable and happy alone. I’ve met some great friends who support me and do their best to understand and that alone means a lot. While it’s hard just focus on yourself for now and find that place where you can be yourself and be happy with yourself. Once I found that things started to come together more for me.

Honestly at this point I wouldn’t change anything simply because it would change me fundamentally as a person and I’ve just finally gotten confident and comfortable in myself. Would it have been wonderful to have been raised without the trauma and issues of course but there is no changing that.

It’s definitely possible. I knew well before 14 there was something different about me but there wasn’t any information about OSDD at the time. I agree with others that you should talk to a therapist but it’s definitely possible that you do have it.

Right?!? That’s a huge red flag and would be the last time I’m cooking them dinner.

Alters can go quiet. It’s completely normal hence the issues with denial. Mine go through periods of being very active to really quiet depending on what im going through and emotional situations (good or bad) always being them to the surface. It’s all part of the disease. Keep fighting the good fight. You got this!

The first time you bring it up I would keep it somewhat low-key. Explain to her why you think you are a system and discuss some of your alters. You could write the reasons why and maybe a brief description of each alter to have it to help you. I wouldn’t offer your simply plural right away. I don’t think you will have to. I’m sure just the discussion of why you think your a system and discussing alters will probably take the whole session. Then see how it goes…

Why couldn’t your wife split her lobster with you is the better question? Shitty to sit there and eat lobster while you have potatoes…

Same. Been there done that… it filled the void temporarily but always left me feeling worse in the end. Took a lot of therapy and time to get to a place where I didn’t want that validation anymore. Work on healing and getting yourself happy and you’ll find other ways of coping.

Honestly your alters have every right to be upset. When you go to a “friend” with something important and they dismiss it that’s not a good friend. To have them then try to out do you in your trauma is even worse. That’s pretty toxic behavior. I’d listen to your alter on this one.

Anytime I’ve met someone and there is an alter who doesn’t like them (usually the protector) they end up not being good people. Trust yourself.

I’m 45 and would love this. It would be nice to have a place where older systems can interact!

Unfortunately this person has been to jail multiple times and has many violent offenses in the past. That adds to the situation. I feel the same that if you don’t address and own the problem you’re doomed to repeat it again.

At this point I couldn’t even call this person an ex-friend because can you really call a one sided relationship based upon lies and deception a friendship? Let’s just say somebody that I used to know…

I do understand the amnesia side of things. We had conversations about how hard it is and which is worse… doing things and not having any recollection of or watching yourself do them and not be able to stop yourself.

For myself I’ve watched myself say and do some horrible things to people in my life (non-violent) but my other alters have taken accountability and worked with that alter to heal and done our best to repair things after the fact. Knowing myself though if I was being told that I was doing horrible things and couldn’t remember I’d make sure to not put myself in positions to be able to continue the behavior. It sucks feeling like you have to be the one to take responsibility for another alters bad action but we are still 1 system and have to live with ourselves.

Since I have no plans on contacting this person it’s more of an abstract question to get peoples thoughts than an ask for how to approach. Thank you for your thoughts!

Thank you for the support! It’s things like this that give me comfort that I’m not making up my OSDD. None of our other alters would ever have chosen that name. We all thought the same when she said it but we all like it. Now to go get some adorable bow tattoos 🥰🥰🥰🎀🎀🎀🎀

I’ve tried confronting them about their behavior when it was behavior directed towards me to the point of telling them I believed one of their alters hated me. I was attacked back and no accountability was ever taken for any poor behavior. It’s clear the “bad” alter is the scapegoat but there is no ownership of the behavior to the point the innocent alter demands to be let off the hook while the other continues to blame people and circumstances for their reactions with no change. I’ve cut them off and blocked them because I refuse to continue to try and be someone’s friend when they are lying to me. It’s to the point that I’ve given advice to one alter that lets them off the hook because I was lied to and given only their side of the story. Personally I feel manipulated because I never would have given the advice I did if I knew everything. I’ve even asked how do you explain your alters to people and they told me they just hope people understand. Like no… it doesn’t work that way.

I have no way of keeping them from these young people. It’s clear the people they hang out with are manipulative in their own right and are most likely manipulating the “innocent” alter while the other alter is preying on people (especially girls).

At this point I’ve walked away because I see no way of getting through to them to even have an honest conversation. I’m just more curious on everyone’s thoughts…

I am sorry to hear about your ex. I’ve seen and heard the terrible things this alter has done and watched how they have manipulated the situation to make themselves the innocent one when they are just as much of the problem as their ex was.