There is a small percentage of Children’s librarians who are just absolute dark triad psychopaths. I worked with one. She was projecting her own shame. Kids don’t have the vocabulary or ability to articulate a witty comeback and they know that. So they pick on kids. What honestly hurts the most is the bystander. Your teacher was standing right there and didn’t stand up for you! Chances are she was just happy the bully children’s librarian wasn’t picking on her. The librarian was demonstrating pecking order dominance, but the truth is she has a lot of shame about something “on her hands” that she was projecting and would probably never admit to. You did nothing wrong. You were just a sweet kid in the wrong place at the wrong time when that cruel b crossed your path.

Yta where are people learning this tactic of inviting someone over to “decorate” for them? You’re not the first a hole that I’ve seen do that.

It’s true basic literacy and ability to follow instructions will get most people into college. Colleges are not the bastion of passionate creative, academic, intellectual and innovative pursuits they used to be. They are largely career pipelines and placeholders for people still figuring out their lives. That’s why a lot of exceptional people do other things like skilled trades, going into business, military, starting their own businesses, etc etc. and people who end up working at colleges make 50k a year.

Ywbta this is greedy mentality. It’s a surprise $400 and you want more. Think of this as a decency test from the universe and if you get it right, your heart will be open to more good fortune in the future.

This is the way. You totally need to get her a necklace with the name on it that is made from a dog tag!

NTA. These are not your friends. It’s hard when you’re young because of pressure to assume the appearance of the pack, in order not to look like a loner, so we sit and stand near kids we know, even if they sometimes treat us poorly. Young people have so few positive healthy relationships modeled to them to know what one looks like. You’re not being sensitive. What they’re doing is trying to establish a pecking order and they’re giving you a hard time on purpose to rattle you in order to establish themselves as dominant in the group. Kids who feel driven to do so largely do so because they don’t have a sense of control at home. Often this behavior is modeled to them growing up by toxic family members. You have to be prepared to give it back to them, and depending on the vibe and the space that can be varying degrees of fact and humor. It’s hard when you’re put on the spot. Here are some examples:

“you keep an umbrella?? Who keeps an umbrella??”

“Over 33 million umbrellas are sold in the United States each year.”

“People with a dry sense of humor.”

“Me and your mom.”

Maybe they have a real bad infestation and it’s coming from their place? I would say to your landlord next time you see or talk to them, hey you might want to check in on the folks above me, lately they’ve been running the vacuum for hours at a time everyday, it’s unusual and I’m hoping it’s not related to the pests I’ve been seeing!

NAH no ass holes here.

"Look lady, we all get turbulence. It's not a five-star resort, but it's safe. Sit down and shut up before you get yourself arrested!"

YTA for sexism. You would NOT have said that if it had been a male doctor acting exactly the same. Check yourself and your biases.

YTA It was a lie by omission. You knew exactly what you were doing and why. Don’t play dumb.

He has trouble understanding and expressing why this is

Why does he need to understand and express why this is? Can he just be? And exist? Without having to defend or justify or explain why he is the way he is?

it has caused him problems in all his past relationships.

I used to be just like him. My engagement fell apart. My marriage fell apart. Every relationship the tension and disappointment were all stemming from my partner’s unfulfilled sexpectations. They all wanted to understand why I didn’t “initiate,” to the point that that’s a cringe-word for me to this day.

Then I found a partner on a celibate dating site and we are so harmonious. All they want from me physically is hugs and sweet little kisses and I can totally handle that. There is no disappointment, frustration, impatience, pressure to “understand,” or attempts to “fix,” none of that. It’s such a calm, secure partnership. It’s the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had and I am thriving.

Maybe just accept it without understanding it and just let it go? Forget about sex and enjoy your partner’s company, personality, sense of humor, silly little anecdotes, hobbies, etc. There are so many diverse and fulfilling ways to gain a deeper understanding of someone you love, libido is a drop in the bucket.

the people the landlord sent to install the new windows mistakenly put the frosted windows in the kitchen

What makes you think it was mistakenly? I would report that detail to police.

He did it on purpose to hurt you. he is a horrible man. Your life is better without him.

Is it possible that dark matter is dreams?

wife said that she's had enough and needs to have sex. She says she knows it's not my fault but also can't go so long without it.

She’s lying. She absolutely can practice self-control she just don’t want to.

Sadly the enabler parent often doesn’t intervene because they are glad it isn’t happening to them. Worse yet, they will make up reasons to justify it so they don’t feel so guilty.

My mom was exactly like this. She got divorced at 40 and just went off the rails disappearing for days at a time and coming home pissed and crazy. It was the beginning of a 20 year slow suicide for her. The drinking got really out of hand after I left home.

Don’t take anything she says to heart. She’s going on alcoholic benders and her brain is pickled. Alcoholism is a disease and your mom is very, very ill. But that does not excuse her behavior.

What she’s doing is neglect, and she’s going to try to justify it. She’s wrong. But you can’t argue her. Arguing with an alcoholic will drive you crazy.

Remember it’s not your fault. You did not cause it. You cannot control it.

Focus on earning a living and finding safe places to work. Ask at your school if they can help you find a job. Try your best to keep your grades up, good grades open doors. You’re genetically predisposed to alcoholism, so avoid substance too and save your money.

The sad truth is your mom is only going to get worse and worse and worse if she doesn’t admit she had a problem and get help. And that is very rare. Professional help can help her, but you can’t make her see that and you can’t help her.

She is going to get more mean and more unpredictable and will turn to you for things—money, housing, a kidney—and giving her these things will ruin your life.

She will attempt to call you selfish and ungrateful as a way to manipulate you into doing things you don’t want to do and giving her things you don’t want give. Don’t give into it.

You have to focus on your survival. You can’t save her: Don’t let her pull you into the quicksand with her.

Well I’m happy to have the comfort of knowing my parents will always want to help me no matter how old I get!

That’s so not true! Your post is literally all about how your dad does NOT want to help you out this time.

sounds 10 times more fun to be around

sounds 10 times more fun… to other men.

Did the CEO say anything about the efficiency of having a 3-car caravan of his employees travel to his home after having shut down operations at one of his facilities, so that most of them can do nothing but hang out, while only three of them work to move the game?

Second opinion

Ah sexual problems. I don’t miss those. Asexuality is a beautiful lifestyle and way of relating to your partner. There’s no sexpectations, no sexual rejections, none of that. Something worth exploring.

NTA that place sounds toxic. Look into filing for UC to see if that works for you and put your energy into finding another job. Never try to get even with people who wrong you, it’s a waste of energy, and they usually end up being their own undoing eventually. Just move on and don’t look back.

I think the crux of our problems though is that he believes I don't find him attractive because I don't initiate sex enough.

Honestly this is not your problem, it’s his problem and his alone. It’s his problem that he’s making it your problem. It’s also his problem that hes trying to use it to guilt and manipulate you into “initiating” more.

Tell him you initiate exactly as much as you’re comfortable initiating and if that doesn’t meet his “initiation quota,” that is his problem. Tell him his whining about it is absolutely unattractive and if he keeps on about it he’s going to have a self-fulfilling prophecy on his hands. And don’t give into it. If he gets pouty and moody, leave the room or leave the house and don’t be around it. If he insinuates that he’s going to cheat, leave.

asked if we couldn't just hang out without having sex for once

Hang out without having sex.

I’ve been that person pleading for help and support in the moment from people who just froze and refused to stand up for me. They aren’t in my life now.