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AITA for sending my friend home because they brought their dogs?
NTA - but dogs peeing all over the yard doesn’t mean they’re not well behaved lol.
Was thinking this as well. Like op is nta but wtf are their expectations of what a trained dog is? Do they think a dog only constitutes being called trained if it's like a guide or police dog?
Even police dogs and guide dogs are allowed to pee outside.
I was more thinking that they were expecting the dogs to only pee on command or something strange like that, and the only dogs that possibly are trained to that kind of level would be high end working dogs.
I get what you mean, but peeing is so ingrained in dogs. While “trained” dogs generally don’t pee while working, it’s because they have been given a task, and are working, which keeps them busy. They aren’t given a release command every time they go pee. That would be inhumane.
Exactly my thought
Some guide dogs for the blind poop on command (so the blind person can pick it up) but yeah I've never heard of a dog peeing on command
Completely irrelevant, but I actually had a cat who would pee on command. He was harness trained and loved going places, so I’d tell him to go pee before we left, and he would. He’d use the litter box every time.
Yep, saw a video from a dog trainer on this very thing. They can pee on command too.
I get what you mean, but peeing is so ingrained in dogs.
When we go for a walk, our old dog will pee once or twice, then very often finds other spots he wants to pee on, but the tank is empty. Doesn't stop him trying.
not in a damn flowerbed, for god sake!
I am always mystified by people who complain about dog pee in a flower bed. I'm 71, I have lived with dogs since I was 4 and had a garden (not in the British sense, but a flower garden) all of my adult life and I've never had any damage due to dog pee. I fenced them out of the veggies, but that was for the "ick" factor.
I wish urine destroyed plants. I have some plants I'd train the dogs to target!
Yeah, urine (both human and dog) is great for plant as long as you dilute it with a little water!
Great danes are so careful when the climb through garden beds to piss all over flowers. /s
Funnily enough - urine is great for plants and flowers. It’s the concentration that’ll get ya. If a dog pees in your flower bed, just dilute it by watering it, and you will have even more beautiful flowers than you had before!
There's a lady down the street from us with a fantastic flower garden, and you can definitely tell where the popular "pee-mail" locations are because those plants are just THRIVING. Way taller and sturdier than the other plants of that kind. She also leaves out the branches from tree trimming for the pups to grab on their walks. I love that she just leaned in to having such a popular lawn.
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13d
You do know that the outdoors isn’t the same as indoors, right?
No, I wouldn’t let a dog pee on my carpet, because it’s also hard to get out. But you know, outside - rain - nature - where animals live. If you think the worst thing that could happen to your flower bed is dog pee, let me introduce you to snails, deers, birds, cats etc. of which dog pee actually repels quite a few.
Wait until it is the rim or your tires and corrodes the steel and stains the side of your house and cushions that people would sit upon. And I have a dog, just not one that pees in everything.
This is a bit dramatic if all the peeing was outside. Marking outside is a pretty normal behavior for dogs, and not harmful as long as they’re not peeing on stuff
It was dramatic lol. The only dog I've ever banned from my house.
Forgot to switch to the alt
Oh you’re just bringing a random personal anecdote into this. I thought you were implying this would be the dogs in the post, when there’s no indication they would do that
Who said anything about peeing on cars?
Sorry, went on a tangent lol
Right? Where did OP think they were supposed to pee?
Not at their pleasure.
If they aren’t under a specific task, yes, at their pleasure.
I don’t disagree, but I will say that it doesn’t bode well for the rest of the week if the owner is busy arguing how great the the dogs are while they’re running around marking OP’s yard & flowerbed with pee
If the expectation is that the dog won't pee outside, it was never going to work out. The Yorkie isn't going to work out either.
Where exactly do you guys expect the dogs to pee but outside in the yard? Where does he expect the Yorkie to pee if not outside in the yard? Also dog pee is actually quite good for plants.
I mean, he's fine with the yorkie. Probably expects that dog to pee on pee pads or in a litter box it's whole life or some shit.
Pee on command 😅
Also...labs are known for being loyal, friendly, and the easiest to train. If you want mischievous, get a husky...
That got me too, labs are one of the best family dogs, I thought he was describing a husky too. (Too smart for the lazy dog owner)
My lab's version of being mischievous is finding a sock, showing it to me, and wiggling around me in circles since she shouldn't have it...
She sounds adorable 🥰
She is the light of my life.
Photo?! I love labs. One of the highlights of my day is if on the way back from doing errands I see this golden lab going for a walk! I’ve seen her grow for the last year from a puppy up!
One of our neighbours cut a hole in their front fence for the lab to stick it's head out. It's the highlight for most of us walking past
Our lab would do the same thing. When someone she loved would come home, she'd excitedly go grab the closet sock she could find and bring it to them while doing the most exaggerated butt wiggle the world has ever seen. Shed swing that little tushy so far back and forth she'd nearly bend in half.
Miss you Coco.
In my experience labs are easier to train than yorkies. Especially in the peeing department.
When dogs are poorly trained across the board, 8/10 it's a bad owner.
100% I also think people with small dogs have a tendency to think smaller dog=less training and that is not the case.
The number of small dog owners who let them lunge and bark, but get mad when my dog barks at their dog is too damn high. My dog doesn't like small dogs if on leash bc they often try to attack her. She used to just stop, lay down, and show her tummy. Now she barks. I went to a trainer about it and they said she just hates them now so best to avoid.
I think it's because they're more manageable. Like if it's somewhere it shouldn't be or being bad, they can just pick it up.
But in my opinion, the majority of people don't train their dogs well.
What Americans refer to as "garden" is exclusively where flowers/herb plants are. General grass area is the "yard".
Especially after a 2.5 hour drive…
but the guy is not well behaved if he let his dogs peeing all over, especially in a flowerbed.
That's true. He should have asked if it was okay to bring his dogs. And he should have gone for a walk with the dogs after the long drive instead letting them use the yard and flowerbeds as bathroom.
I guarantee the Yorkie would also pee in the flower bed. Dogs pee outside, they pee in the yard. Why are people acting like dogs are supposed to go somewhere else but outside to go pee. The friend was wrong for bringing the dogs in first place. But this whole conversation about dogs not peeing in a yard is ridiculous.
He should take his dog for a walk to pee where it is okay. Not where flowers growing. And I wouldn't have any dog peeing or pooping on a lawn, specially when babies and children maybe playing on it.
I mean, yes dogs peeing outside does not mean they're not well behaved,but I would also kick those dogs out if they went about peeing on my flowers, disgusting.
Peeing outdoors=house trained.
Also- three dogs (or even two dogs) is an entirely different situation than one dog. One dog usually is gonna want the people to pet him, two to three dogs will decide to play with each other and there will be lots of wrestling and chasing, which fills the whole space with crazy dog energy. Even if they were the best behaved best trained dogs in the city, two to three additional dogs is a massively different situation.
Thank you! He went from one small dog, to THREE dogs, two of which are large. Small dog doesn't take up much space or attention. Now you have a dog fest.
It's his houSe, he gets to say who can stay there. Friend didn't ask. Anyone who complains can leave their free beach house trip too and go have a BBQ with the other guy and his dogs.
For real. New area, clearly no aninals were allowed within 500 feet of the house before, and they also drive 2.5 hours.
Sure the dogs peed on the flowers and everywhere outside. OP doesnt own animals.
They just finished a 3 hour car trip. Of course they were peeing.
Ohhhh noooo, friends dog came and peed on EVERYTHING in my backyard, cushions, walls, every potted plant, every tire of every vehicle. It was disgusting.
Exactly what I was going to say!
I don't know how well behaved the dogs are that they apparently had to pee several times all over the yard and on top of a garden in such a short timespan. Sounds more like marking after the first time and I wouldn't want dogs who do that to be in my house, let alone in my garden when dog urine kills plants.
Just makes me think: if you can't be bothered to move your dog away from an obvious garden to pee, I'm gonna have to fight with you to poop scoop.
Every. Dog. Marks. Outside. I pity dogs who have owners that don’t understand dog behaviour. The same people who pull their dogs away from sniffing while on a walk. They’re dogs. Not four-legged fur babies. Owners are not ‘pawrents’.
I think it does. Train your animals to the level of a service animal. Society has accepted a low form of training and I think it’s bullshit.
Literally 50-70% of dogs fail out of service dog training, what are you on about lmao. I do think there are a lot of dog owners who don't do enough, but I don't think you realize how ridiculous your statement is
Train dogs to the level of a service animal? Either you have no idea what you are talking about or you're off your meds!
NTA. One friend asked about bringing his small dog, and when you said yes to that, your other friend assumed that meant that they could bring their dogs as well, without asking. We know what they say about assuming things.
In the ideal world, I kind of wish Yorkshire friend had thought to ask you privately, as opposed to the group chat. That you had thought to answer (in the group chat) in the affirmative and made it clear that it was because of the dog's small stature and good behavior that you said "yes". That other friends would have thought a little harder about the differences between one small well-behaved dog and two boisterous larger dogs and bothered to ask before they just brought them.
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13d
Bit of an assumption that the Yorkie is well behaved Small doesn’t necessarily = that from my experience of some very naughty little ones.
yeah, if a Yorkie or other small dog is committing shenanigans, you can just scoop her up. Not easy to do with dogs that weigh as much as a 10 year old. Or 2 10 year olds, if it's the Dane.
Also, even if the other friend had two Yorkies instead of 2 big dogs, three dogs plus all of the friends is a lot to ask of someone. Dogs act differently when there is a pack, and who knows if the dogs would even get along regardless of breed. So I think OP is NTA but this has more to do with the friend being a decent person and asking first, and managing a group of dogs in your house vs. 1 being an entirely different situation.
The big dog owner could have looked for local boarding before making the return trip.
Nta, it’s so rude to just assume you can bring your dogs anywhere, especially large dogs. A Great Dane?? That guy is delusional if he thinks it’s the same as bringing a yorkie. It would’ve taken nothing to ask since your other friend did
Honestly sounds like he had a feeling you would say no and adopted the “better to ask for forgiveness than permission” tactic.
And I have large dogs myself, I have never ever taken them to someone else’s house without permission
I've had Great Danes for a total of 23 years of my life. The friend knows the pee issue alone would be an issue. Like we can't have grass in our backyard because the pee spots are super big and always kills giant spots of grass. OP's friend 100% knows why letting a Great Dane pee over his friend's yard, and the flowers too, is radically differently than allowing a yorkie access. Like come on dude. lol
NTA, he should have asked but you are deluded if you think peeing outside is a sign that the dogs are badly behaved lol. Just say you’re not comfortable with big dogs, that’s a totally valid reason.
It wasn't just outside. The dog peed in a flower bed. Why was the dog in a flower bed? The owner is right there and the dog is not under his control.
The dog peed on a flower bed. In a yard/garden. Outside. Big whoop. The flower bed likely bordered the lawn and dogs like to pee on things that stick out.
If the dog dug up a flower bed then we’d be talking.
As a gardener I disagree. I take time to tend my garden and would not like to have a great dane or lab walking in it or peeing in it. I certainly never let me own dog (who we lost recently, sniff) tramp through other peoples flower beds. This guest was rude to treat ops home this way without permission.
NTA. Any dog owner knows that a small dog is so much different from a large/giant dog. They themselves know how different places take into account the size of the dog; why would they think you'd be different?
Also, your friends are assholes too to think that there's 'no reason' for your reaction.
Yes, small dogs and big dogs are different but that isn't always a positive toward the small dog. I had a golden retriever that was extremely well-mannered, only went in one place in the yard to go to the bathroom, could walk off leash with no issue, and was loving to everyone. My mother-in-law has Chihuahua Pomeranian mixes that are demons from hell. They bark constantly, they pee in the floor, one bites if you turn your back. You can't generalize based on the size of the dog.
It was nowhere in my comment. All I'm saying is that different places might accept small dogs, but not large ones (establishments and rental properties). So they should have known to ask if their dog is allowed first.
I've had both, so I know. And don't blame the breed, blame the owner. They're the ones who failed with training.
Those dogs aren't demons from hell. They don't behave the way you'd like because no one bothered to train them. Blame your mother in law.
Of all the dogs I've ever met, the big dogs were generally much better behaved than the small dogs.
Because people often don't bother training little ones
🤷🏻♀️
Pretty sure this is a rewrite of this story
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/CTP45tdeVE
Which is a rewrite of this story
Seems like someone just really doesn’t like labs
Yeah I noticed. "Labs are mischievous " uh, no. By reputation they're goofy and well behaved, which is why they're the classic service dog.
Which is not to say all labs are trained... they're plentiful and as a result there's a definite range of behavior. But I can't think of another breed that's known to be" well behaved" as much as labs are.
I used to work with dogs so I can see how someone would get that opinion. Labs suffer from something that German shepherds, Dalmatians, and other popular breeds of dogs did.
A lot of people who really shouldn't have one bought one because they were cute and popular and had a reputation for being easy, when in reality they are highly intelligent working dogs that will often cause havoc if they don't have a job, training, or some kind of mental stimulation so they don't go insane.
I used to work at a dog daycare and there were a lot of unsocialized, untrained labs that the owners thought simply because they were popular and someone told them they're easy to care for so many of them would act like assholes.
It doesn't y even if they're perfectly behaved. It's not your house you ASK if it's ok. NTA op
Thats a good catch.
Its always amazing how people call other uptight when they don't own the house. The dog owner tried the "don't ask permission, beg for forgiveness" route, and it didn't work out.
A terrier and a great dane are practically a different species. He should have asked, and didn't. On purpose. You called him out on it.
NTA.
Listen, your friend should have asked /confirmed and no, it was not ok to just bring them because you agreed for someone else to bring their dog.
BUT your excuses as to why these particular dogs are misbehaved are tenuous at best. a dog peeing on a flowerbed is not a sign of an untrained dog, it is totally normal for a dog to arrive somewhere new and pee everywhere to mark the place.
Also, small dogs are not “easier maintenance”, quite the opposite. And just because a dog is a lab doesn’t mean they’ll just poo inside.
So yes, that person should have checked but I feel your excuses were absolutely not valid and steeped in prejudice and ignorance.
Why was the dog in the flower bed? Because his owner is an ass. Yes, dogs pee. But owners are supposed to have them under control. A great dane or a lab in a bed of flowers is rude. If that's how they treat the outside of the house, imagine how they'll be inside. I don't blame the pup. I blame the pup's owner.
NTA. Your other friend asked and you answered him about his dog.
he replied "yeah, but you said on the group chat that it shouldn't be a problem for [other friend], so I assumed it'd be ok".
No. He could also have asked but chose not to.
NTA. What if the dogs that hadn't been given the 'go ahead' had got into a fight with the dog that you had said was welcome to come?
Assuming that all dogs are OK because one was given the OK is entitled and rude.
Op made it sound like both the friends arrived together so it seems like the dogs get a long time
I kinda feel YTA because you are 22 and have a beach house. But that's not the real question. The dogs didn't misbehave, labs and great danes are big dogs but they don't have bad reputations. The dog owners should have asked/given the heads up but I think you were creating a drama before one happened. Peeing outside is not a dog misbehaving.
NTA as a high energy dog owner I completly get why my bestfriend’s chihuahua is invited and not mine. Also, I do not bring my dog somewhere if I did not ask first… Thats so rude. Everything has a context, vibe, etc. But maybe rethink overall about your misconception about small and big dog and their behavior. Idk from what Ive experienced small dog can be less potty trained than big dog. They do as they like (pretty cocky sometimes lmao)
ESH. They should’ve asked, but a dog peeing outside is not an indication of poor behaviour.
I'm going with YTA ( hear Me out)
So it is your house, your rules BUT this is a misunderstanding, you said shouldn't be a problem to the other guys dog, you didn't say YOUR dog is fine because he is so small. You knew the other friend had dogs so you left it up for inturpitaion, you also say the dogs are not well trained because they are peeing outside after a 2.5 hour trip.... that's where dogs are spouse to pee did you think they would be toilet trained?
Also your friends say younhave been getting annoyed at this friend for no reason implying it is on going so I infer from that ( and your ridiculas examplea of misbehaviour) your issiues are more with the person and this is just an excuse to pick at them.
So although yes YOU get to pick what animals are at your home, you need to be clear with guests
I missed that, but you might be onto something. Also it's telling that all his friends are against him, so there's something legitimately fishy going on, imo.
Where did you want the dogs to pee? YTA
At their owner’s house.
That house might start to stink after a little bit of dog shit inside
Not in a bed of flowers. As a gardener I'd be pissed (pun intended) if a guest brought an uninvited animal that was urinating in my flower beds. The pee isn't the only issue. They can damage the work of the person who has planted them. This is his home. The dog wasn't invited. I feel like I'm in crazy town with some of these judgements. This is op's home.
NTA bc it's your house and they didn't ask, but my great Dane has peed/pooped inside twice in her life (and it was my fault). My in-laws Yorkies make messes virtually every day.
Where exactly do you expect dogs to pee? If not outside? The fucking litter box? Pee pads like some owners make yorkies do their whole lives because they're too lazy to walk the dog? It's small, it looks like a toy, but it's still a DOG.
On that, I'm gonna go against the grain and go YTA.
I disagree with the judgment as op has the right to decide what doga if any are allowed in his home and the friend was a huge ah for not asking
This commenter didn't say anything about that they said the Op is an a****** just for saying the dog peeing outside is untrained
NTA
He was not invited, his dogs were not invited and he was the one making assumptions.
You need to think about who you are inviting to your home if they are calling you stuck up for this.
wtf are you talking about that dogs peeing in a yard is a problem? How little do you know about animals??
NTA. The difference between asking to bring a Yorkie and assuming it's fine to bring a Great Dane is the difference between a good friend with manners and respect for you and your property and an entitled aquaintance.
NTA
I don't even take my dogs to my mom's house (who loves my dogs and also has dogs that get along with mine) without checking... 'cuz it's disrespectful, tacky, and there have been a few times where she didn't want 2 more dogs at her house.
In my experience, small dogs are less trained (based purely on my personal experience) and big dogs more trained because the big dog owners I know understand how important it is to have your 100lb dog actually listen to you in situations.
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I (22M) have a holiday house by the beach. I invited a few of my friends over for a few days, as it's some nice weather at the moment. One of my friends asked in the group chat if he could bring his dog (a small Yorkshire terrier) since we'd be going to the beach. I replied in the chat, "yeah, that shouldn't be a problem".
When they all arrived at the beach house (around 2.5 hours drive from where we usually live), I noticed that he had come with another of my friends, who had also brought their two dogs. The second friend had not asked to bring their dogs, which were a lot bigger and more boisterous (a chocolate lab and a great dane). I was a bit taken aback as I wasn't really expecting that.
I went up to the second friend and said "you didn't tell me you were bringing them", to which he replied "yeah, but you said on the group chat that it shouldn't be a problem for [other friend], so I assumed it'd be ok". I basically explained to him that it was a completely different scenario, considering his dogs were bigger and not that well trained (almost as if on cue, one of his dogs conveniently proved my point by peeing in our flower bed). I explained that smaller dogs were much easier maintenence. I thought it was common sense; labs especially have a reputation for being mischievous and I wouldn't be surprised if it peed/pooped inside.
My friend told me that I was making unfair assumptions and his dogs were perfectly well trained (which I could see was not the case, they were peeing everywhere throughout the yard). I told him if he really felt that way he could drop them back home and then come back. He left, with the dogs, and decided it wasn't worth making the return trip.
My friends were really pissed off at me, saying I was being stuck up for no reason and was just an asshole to him. They said my friend didn't do anything wrong, and I'd just been getting annoyed at him for no reason.
Was I TA?
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NTA. Your house, your rules. Friend 1 asked and received permission. Friend 2 did not and that was pure bad manners. Let's say friend 2 had made prior arrangements for his dogs that fell through; they should have still explained and gotten permission last minute.
Dogs usually need a potty break after a long car ride and a new place means new territory to claim so them peeing everywhere doesn't mean they are bad dogs. My Newfoundland pees in my garden pots sometimes doesn't mean he isn't trained, just marking territory. A good rinse and the plants are fine, probably got a nice boost of nitrogen too.
Unless you know their dogs are already chaotic and untrained using the peeing as an example doesn't work. I've had a lab mix and I can agree that they can be destructive without meaning too. That tail can be considered a weapon of destruction! I've heard similar of Danes, they just don't understand their size.
Friends are being ridiculous if they don't understand they also don't have to be invited to your house. You have every right to decide who is in your home. He already disrespected one boundary by not asking. What else was he going to break?
NTA. But a few points:
Smaller dogs are almost always universally WORSE trained than big dogs because they’re not seen as a same level of threat and generally viewed more cute. I’ve been around dogs all of my life (one is at my feet right now) and the only times I’ve been bitten by dogs they were all small. I have had friends with malinois and Rottweilers and gsd and they have all taken their training seriously.
None of the ones with chihuahuas or yorkies or anything else have put in an ounce of training. Weirdly corgis tend to get more training than most other small breed, but they’re also a working dog traditionally.
Peeing outside in flower beds isn’t indicative of bad training. The dog doesn’t understand its nature that you planted for beauty versus a tree that has been there since before you bought the house.
You’re not wrong to tell them to go back home, it’s your house. Your real problem is that you know nothing about dogs.
NTA, and they knew darn well that their two large breed dogs aren't in the same category as a Yorkshire terrier. Not to mention yes to a single dog request is not "yes to all dogs ever." They could have asked, saw the opportunity to ask, but chose not to. I would never bring my dog anywhere without permission especially on several-day trip.
I'm pretty disappointed your other friends didn't have your back honestly.
NTA. You ask before you bring dogs, especially a freaking great dane. However, dogs peeing in the yard? Where else should they do it??
INFO: where was the small dog going to pee/poop if not in the yard?
NTA
I have a hard time believing that nobody in your friend group can understand the difference of one small dog vs two large high energy dogs.
NTA. Dogs are amazing creaturee, but dog people are commonly entitled AH.
They were peeing because they’d been on a 2.5 hour car ride and needed to go.
Nope they were acting entitled. Next time no dogs and no exceptions.
NTA, you shouldn’t have said yes to the first dog too. Give an inch dog owners will take a mile.
NTA, bringing TWO larger dogs after you gave the OK for ONE small dog is entitled AF.
I have 3 dogs of varying sizes. I do not even bring the 6 lb one (who stays in a bag whilst out) without it being OK with the host. Can't imagine bringing my bigger ones and being like, you said the small one is good.
Insane. You are NTA. Your friends kinda are.
Also, yards are where good doggies go potty so idk what you were upset about them peeing in a yard that's covered in pee. Like squirrels and stuff...
YTA, allowing one dog, then turning away the others is just plain rude and frankly I would have left and not come back as well. Dogs pee in yards, that is what they do.and that is considered good behavior. They are telling other animals that they have been there.
NTA
Now you know to say no to any bringing of dogs. I love dogs but they don’t need to go everywhere with you.
NTA, your house your rules, but you gotta learn a few things about dogs. Yorkies are the true terror.
NTA. But dogs pee outside whenever they want whether they are trained or not.
Yta
Peeing in the flower bed is perfectly well trained. We add urea deliberately as fertilizer and train our dogs to pee in the garden beds.
Labs are not notorious for anything other than being soppy and loving. Who are you kidding?
You don’t respond well to change or surprises. I get that. I’m exactly the same. But the correct response was to be uncomfortable and breathe through it rather than damaging all of those friendships. You better believe that they will all remember how unreasonable you were.
ESH: You allowed one dog, on a group text. Mistake. Dogs peeing in your yard is not indicative of bad behavior. You want them to use your toilet? Your friend who brought their dogs without specifically asking for permission: was wrong and should have known better. Once the dogs were there, if they weren’t misbehaving (chewing furniture, excessive barking, urinating/crapping inside), let them stay, this one time. Sending them home was not warranted.
NTA
Dont fret this, good job standing up for yourself and not accepting this nonsense.
NTA
Dogs can be welltrained and still pee in the yard, as this is "outside" and usually an acceptable pee place. But that doesnt matter. He didnt ask if he could bring 2 dogs. Thats all. They could be the most well behaved dogs in the world. Since he didnt bother asking if you were ok with them coming along, you have every right to say no when they get sprung on you. Its his own fault, and he assumes the risk of that happening by not asking permission.
Your house, your rules. I take my dogs everywhere I can where they are welcome but would never take them somewhere without permission. Also a few of them are kinda assholes so I don't expect others to be as enamored with them as I am.
NTA for not wanting unexpected animals at your house. But you are an AH for your examples of being poorly trained. The dogs peed outside. Dogs pee on flowers, and grass. And honestly, Yorkies are some of the worst dogs to potty train.
NTA because he didn't get permission to bring the dogs, but your assertion that the dogs weren't well trained because they were peeing in the yard shows you're a ridiculous person. They're supposed to pee in the yard. Where else would they go?
NTA - He assumed instead of asking.
NTA your friend is tripping hard to compare a Yorkshire to a GREAT DANE 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Nta. Find better friends.
NTA. The two dog friend definitely should have asked, not assumed. Big dogs scare some people, need lots of space for exercise, and the effect of any misbehavior (you do not know these dogs at all) is magnified.
Nta some people have no common sense
Dogs piss in the yard. That’s a good thing. The flowers will be fine. You do sound really stuck up.
YTA.
NTA, bottom line is HE DID NOT ASK!
NTA, and dogs peeing in a yard where they aren’t invited to does in fact mean they are poorly behaved regardless of what dog people who are also poorly behaved tell you.
NTA. Manners 101: if you want to bring your dogs to someone elses holiday house you check its OK beforehand. This is not rocket science.
NTA. He knew you'd say no so didn't bother asking
NTA - regardless of where they peed, it's extremely bad manners to bring your dogs to someone else's house without permission.
NTA
NTA Any hotel, airlines, restaurant etc. would explain to your friends that there is a huge difference between one small dog and two large ones.
NTA
You don't bring pets unless it is explicitly approved by the house owner.
Bringing to BIG dogs without approval is an AH move!
NTA.
Friend was rude and made thoughtless assumptions. On no planet does 1 Yorkie = (1 Lab + 1 Great Dane) on any level of behavior or responsibility.
The friends who said you were an asshole can ask friend with big dogs to visit them at their homes and stay for a few days. Their tune will change, pretty sure.
NTA
I personally wouldn't have allowed dogs, and while the peeing isn't necessarily mean they're untrained. But it sounds like you have more knowledge of how they act to state so.
I would have told the friends, that if they're so upset about it they are all welcome to go home too. See how many leave and how many stay.
You don't like dogs cool, it's your say and they need to accept it.
NTA. He should have asked, not assumed. Its on him.
While the situation sucks I think this is an error on your friend’s part. He assumed it would be okay since it was okay for someone else. We all know what they say about assuming things. He assumed incorrectly and put you on the spot. It sucks you both were uncomfortable but it’s your place and your prerogative on who’s in your house. Tell him nicely to ask next time too and not make assumptions. I don’t know where he’d get the idea you’re stuck up about this? NTA
NTA.
I have these breeds. They are well behaved but do take up a bit of room. I wouldn’t bring them without specific permission.
Seems you aren’t familiar with dogs which isn’t an issue or a criticism but peeing outside is usual behaviour and not really indicative of poor training nor will it ruin your plants (however longterm pee on lawns can be challenging as I know to the detriment of our grass).
Your house, your rules.
Sounds like you need new friends. NTA
NTA. Who just shows up with two large dogs? Never assume your dogs are invited. I have friends like this and we specify in advance “no dogs”
NTA. He proved your point and was outright denying it. It's your home, your right. The other friends who weren't happy could also just leave if they wanted to. Or shut up.
While you made quite a few assumptions and that was wrong on your part, you were perfectly in your right to decide who can bring their dogs to your house and who can't. Not to ask was wrong on your friend's part.
NTA, but I find it quite funny, how labs have a bad reputation from where you are. That's not the case in the country I live in. Here they are just like every other dog ;)
NTA. It's rude to presume. You could've been scared of large dogs as many people are. They are also bigger and suddenly you go from one small dog to three dogs, that's a huge difference and very different dynamic.
NTA.
The dogs are not your friends children. If they had a pet goat or pig would they feel entitled to just show up with it?
NTA
I always would want an ok for MY dog, regardless of other people's dogs.
Nta one friend asked, the other didn't. He was the one making assumptions. It's also different just having one dog vs 3.
NTA
ESH Your friend still should have talked to you about bringing their dogs. I can see how they thought it was okay though considering your text.
YTA - and its not a big deal to pee in a flower bed. Are you eating the flowers? Sssseeesh.
NTA. You approved like 5 pounds of dog and this other person showed up with likely 200 pounds of dog or more. Totally not the same thing. The asshole here is the guy who brought two dogs without asking. Even if he only had one tiny dog like the other person, he still would have been out of line to not ask you first.
NTA. My family knows full well I would bring my 12 lb dog with me everywhere if it were socially acceptable. Any time I go over to their house to hang out or eat a meal he’s usually with me. But when we have gatherings at their houses other than just our immediate family, I double check and make sure it’s okay for him to come because that’s the polite thing to do. And mine is small, relatively well behaved, and they’ve known him for 7 years! It’s just good manners to ask instead of assume. If I can do it with my family who knows my obsession with my dog, your friend should know to do the same with their friend’s giant dogs you don’t know very well.
Had you let him in with his dogs and they did additional damage to your property, the title of your post would be AITA for asking my friend to pay for damages and clean up if his unauthorized dogs that he assumed was ok to bring? His dogs already damaged your flowers and lawn
He is no friend of yours . Presumptuous, entitled and disrespectful are the first 3 adjectives That come to mind. He is the A-hole not you
NTA. They assumed. They shouldn’t have.
NTA, it is common courtesy to ask and said friend should have double checked with you first. 1 x Terrier versus a choc lab and a great dane, 2 entirely different scenarios.
NTA. Just because you told one friend that they could bring their dog doesn’t mean that you said yes to everybody bringing their dogs and they certainly could have asked you before arriving.
NTA. A Yorkie is small, if it does have an accident in the home it would be a smaller mess to clean & it doesn’t shed. Two huge breeds dogs that both shed & were not okayed ahead of time is a complete NO from me.
Was the irony of him saying you were making unfair assumptions lost on him? 🤣 NTA
You are saying that one of the dogs peed on the flower bed, that was the moment the argument should have been over and your friend didn't ask you because they knew what they were doing. It was a situation of "let's see and let slide". They hoped that nobody would have a problem instead of asking beforehand and having you tell them a great Dane was too much to handle...
Peeing in a flower bed is a sign the argument is over?
If you love flowers it is a good reason for it. Who let a dog peeing in a flowerbed.
Yeah, the moment when the person is saying their dog is trained to not do the very thing it's doing.
I don't think this is a reliable narrator.
NTA I love animals too. I just think that some people definitely don't train their dogs well.
NTA.
Your friends RTA's. They have absolutely no right to be angry at you about a house that does not belong to them. What? They're mad because they all pitched in 5k a piece before the trip just in case the dogs tear the furniture up, put a hole in the wall, ruin the carpet, or dig holes everywhere in the yard? You are the host, you set the rules, and courteous friends will follow them. Adding a person and two giant cutie Patooties without telling you is kind of underhanded. Either they really didn't know which is weird because you are all adults or they were trying to I own two dogs and I wouldn't dream of bringing them anywhere without confirmiing with the owner/host first. I would do my party by keeping up with them so they don't make a mess.
I asked my chocolate lab. She said Y T A. I tried to explain your pov but she wasn't buying it.
NTA but you sound insufferable
YTA.
The dog pissed outside after 2.5 hours in the car. It doesnt make him untrained. Labs are also great dogs to have if you train them. The only thing youre even remotely right on here is that smaller dogs are easier to maintain, in general.
You dont know anything about animals it seems though and should probably learn a little about them before judging them based on breed.
You are correct but it's irrelevant as op is the 'owner'/renter of the house. You don't just bring your dogs to someone else's house without asking. This is why it's NTA
Why should the owner of the house learn about different types of dog? It doesn't sound like he's a dog person, has likely no intention of getting a dog, why should he care? All he knows is he thought 1 small dog would probably be ok. To rock up with 2 large dogs, without checking, is just plain rude.
Whether the large dogs are well behaved or not is irrelevant. You can't just turn up without checking.
YTA because you said in a group chat dogs were fine. It's not obvious that you meant one dog or small dogs only. The other friend should have asked but if you had clarifications...you should have made them
OP didn’t say dogs were fine, he said one persons dog was ok. Not at all the same.
No, OP didn't make that clear at all. Everyone in this thread is pretending they're all perfect mind readers and I think that's fucking hilarious
He said, to the person who asked, that their dog was fine. He didn't say all dogs were welcome. If there was ambiguity it's for others who want to bring a dog to get that ambiguity cleared up.
Without reading this or having any context, my uninformed opinion is yes, YTA
Source: I love doggos
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