Alright, fellas! There aren’t many options out here in the woods.
We don’t know her type, so let’s each pick our best trait, stick with it, and make up cool-sounding nicknames for ourselves. That way we got a 1/7 chance of getting a happy ever after if ya know what I mean.
Who the fuck forgot to lock the goddamned door? Did none of you learn anything from the bears? Yeah, some bitch just strolled into their home, broke some furniture, ate their food, messed up the beds and took a nap, then ran when they got home.
For the love of God, we should be thankful she didn't trash the place or rob us. Shit, she may have actually cleaned during her breaking and entering.
I said us to live in a proper dwarfhold, build homes in the mines like our ancestors did, but no. You all wanted to live in a cozy fucking cottage in the middle of the goddamned woods, and make everything conveniently human sized. Why is all our shit scaled to humans?! We're dwarves!
Hi hoe! Hi hoe!