Why am I rooming with the frat boys and the mascot from their rival?

"Why did I think it was a good idea to possess the toilet?!? The entire family has food poisoning!!!!"

All opinions and theories will be evidence based and backed by reputable sources.

Zell is giving me strong Kefka vibes.

KIROS AND selphies are WAY off.

That orange cat thing is NJot how I pictures a moomba.

TAKEN 4. But this time Liam Neeson gets kidnapped and has to be rescued by the dog.

I still have nightmares from when I took it many many moons ago. I still remember the professor saying that it should be broken into 3 semesters and not 2.

"Take me to church" singer comes out of the closet and eloped with tabloid owner/ star witness. It was the Hozier Pecker wedding.

"All of my friends swear by you. They say that you are THE BEST massage therapist. I think I know why"

"Have you tried ACME's Jewish Space Lasers? The MTG series has remarkable accuracy... especially if the target is a women liberal, Democrat, person with the ability to think logically..."

"HI Kevin, it's Mom. Who was that girl you were talking to yesterday? She seemed nice. I think she likes you, you should ask her out. It's been a awhile since you went on a date. I'm not getting any younger and I would like to be able to hold some grandbabies before I die."

"That boxer is the newest member of the Paw Patrol. His name is Tyson. He's all about physical fitness. Oh . ..and watch your ears"

I never thought I'd see the day.... I literal scaredy cat!

"Ms Jong? Is Ms Jong here?"

"Oh right. That's me. Sorry, I changed my name to Jones right after I moved here from North Korea. I just got the updated documents"

"Okay. So why do you want to work at the Pentagon?"

  • walks up to a toddler holding a sign

"Hi sweetie! What game are you playing?"

"IT'S NOT A GAME!!! Our mommies are MEAN!! She makes us go to bed when we don't wanna!!! We waNNA stay up laaaaAAATTEEE!!!!! We are PWOTESTING!!!!"

other toddlers scream "YEAH! PWOTESTING!"

"has anyone seen my keys?"

*checks everywhere

"Houston... we have a problem...."