Before I was told I have cancer, I (M-56) was still planning and working on advancing my career. In fact, I enjoyed adding skills to my "toolbox" that I could use in future promotion considerations.

But since I've been told I have cancer, granted we just had the tumor removed and I now have to schedule a follow-up surgery to confirm whether we got all of it or if it's spread, I can't think of any kind of future.

It's weird. It's almost as if subconsciously I've already convinced myself that this is it. I would love to go back to college and take some new courses but then there's a big chunk of my brain right now over-riding that, saying "Why? What's the point?".

I'm already looking into some supportive therapy, which now I really think would be a good thing, but has anyone else ever dealt with this almost subconscious defeatist attitude? And how did you get rid of it?