Cancer: Discussion & Support

Hello – If you’re new here please take a second to read our rules before making any posts. Specifically, do not ask us if you have cancer. We're not doctors and we can't diagnose you; I will remove these posts. This is a place for people who have already been diagnosed and caregivers seeking specific help with problems that cancer creates. All posts should be flaired as either patient, caregiver, study, or death. You are also welcome to make yourself custom flair for your specific diagnosis.

If you have general questions about how you can be supportive and helpful to anyone you know that has cancer please check out this thread – How can I be helpful?

If you are seeking a subreddit for your specific cancer please check out this post – Specific Cancer Subreddits.

Hey everyone, I wish you luck 🤍 I'm really scared about this whole thing, next week I'll repeat exams and I'm totally scared Tomorrow I have an appointment and it's hard to deal with all of this, because seems It doesn't matter the plans I make, It won't happen I'm planning to travel with my gf, to learn new things, work and have a family, but this sh*t of cancer is taking it from me. I'm scared and really don't know how to get through this. I hate cancer

I’ll go first! My cancer had a high success rate, so I didn’t beat the odds exactly, but I am now a professional model and going to my dream school! I am a public speaker and have met with a lot of people in the cancer industry and am hopefully making a difference :)

Also just wanted to say I hope this can be one of the more positive threads in a realist and sometimes scary topic. Please read or respond if you just need support or want to support others!

Hi all, my father in law is in remission which is fantastic news. But for most of this year, he is shell of his former self and clearly in a deep depression. He naturally fears of return of his disease, coupled with the loss of his former life and former skills that he has lost. He doesn't eat, nothing makes him happy. He's down to like 135lbs at 6'1". It's bade.

We are trying to find him some psychiatric help in Chicago, but its all very overwhelming. Does anyone have any advice or recommendations they can share?

Im 24m and been diagnosed with advanced colorectal cancer with peritoneal metastasis since late 2021 and after year and half of chemo (FOLFOX) and surgery I managed to win that battle. Now fast forward sometime to February 2023 after a check up the doctors told me they found two small dots on my peritoneal area around the pelvis, thus proceeding to chemo again (FOLFIRI). After 11 sessions they told me they can perform surgery again. Turned out they were wrong and the PET CTs couldn't reveal that the tumor now spreaded all over my peritoneal area and they found out during the intervention, so they just closed the incision and did nothing. They told my parents that I had 3 months before I wouldn't be able to inhale any kind of food or water. My parents then flew me abroad to China to get more experienced help and Im here since November 2023 where they are treating me with a combined formula of both of the before mentioned chemos plus PD1 and Bevacizumab. Not long after my arrival I had my intestines obstructed where I could not even drink water and could not sleep because of the pain (lost 20 kg in a month) then they did a ostomy surgery to aliviate my pain but with the side effect that I am now permanently hospitalized because the intestine they could work with were too short(Only 1,9 meters), meaning I cant absorb any liquids hence can't hydrate. Now Im continuing the treatment but the last checkups shows negligeable effects on the tumors.

Im I right to believe Im doomed? They said young people are more hardy and they recover from the worst cases, hope thats my case. Made the post to cope with my pain and share my story. Sorry if there's some grammatical mistakes Im spanish -chinese

Is there a specific type of therapist for cancer or early loss? I am close to being staged or formally diagnosed, positive test biopsies and unfortunately noticed my changed appointment went from “new hematology patient” to “new oncology patient” as well as from 30 to 60 minutes and they said they need to change because they had a “new diagnosis” they would only discuss at my appointment. There isn’t much guess work left, I had a positive biopsy for elevated B-Cell Lymphoma inflammation markers and elevated CD3 and CD4….

Anyway, turned 30 a few weeks after the biopsy, I was supposed to decide on fertility preservation but my husband buried himself in other things and I didn’t feel like I could move forward alone. Which he later was ‘heart broken’ about me deciding on my own (he didn’t come home for a week straight and we had to decide a few days before my birthday—the start of my period). He just rattled on about trivial things and after a certain point I asked him to have perspective because I was also having a ‘tough week’. I said I may have cancer and he turned and said hasn’t this already been a fear (when we first did fertility preservation I was concerned about my POLD1 gene mutation possibly leading to endometrial cancer with fertility meds). I literally walked home from the park.

His therapist says he couldn’t have known (based on whatever information he gave her). According to him, the therapist told him he wasn’t wrong for downplaying the situation. I have a hard time believing he shared in the entire context like we needed to decide on another round of egg retrieval which is why I called him tone deaf about his work deadlines. But I ultimately think he is weaponizing his therapist. I’m sure I will get resources soon, but it is painful stumbling across the information I am in fact an oncology patient and my appointment has been pushed back to the 12th with no additional context.

I had to kick my husband out of the house last night because he broke a door. He called me a dumbass as he was leaving the bedroom and I said it right back. The door was closed behind him and with force (I swear he must have kicked the door) the handle became displaced, the lever won’t return to neutral and the locked in-place double door is splintered with scuff marks level to the handle. He lied and told me he must have accidentally used too much force. For whatever reason he also started recording me although he was the only one yelling, I doubt those recordings will ever see the light of day. I don’t think I can move forward with the constant stress or abuse he brings, but I think he also knows I’m vulnerable, haven’t been working, have no money and don’t want to deal with a divorce, especially as he drains the shared accounts with hotel rooms more expensive than the staycation hotel I requested for my 30th three weeks ago that we couldn’t afford…

He must hate me so much (on top of being self-loathing) because this is shooting fish in a barrel. I know I need more than therapy, I know he needs the same. Where do I turn as I wait?

My dad is being treated for pulmonary metastatic soft tissue sarcoma. He’s just finished his first round of Doxorubicin.

As a side effect (we believe from the dexamethasone, but not totally sure) has had non stop hiccups for going on 5 days. These are full body spasms, very painful hiccups. He’s been able to get them to stop for brief periods (1.5 hours max) by 5 minutes of intense cardio. This isn’t a great solution because they come back like clockwork- hiking up the hill behind their house for 5 minutes at 2:30 in the morning isn’t really what we’re looking for.

To deal with the hiccups he was in initially given ondansatron, but it didn’t work. They tried Metoclopranide next, which also hasn’t touched it.

Any suggestions for medications or anything else he could try? He’s sleeping like he’s a new parent, on top of the other many delightful symptoms of chemo.

Thanks for your insight!

We just got the news this last Tuesday that the lump is invasive ductal carcinoma. We have an appointment tomorrow with the surgeon, yet we still haven’t had a CT or bone scan. This past week has been a fog, going along like everything is normal, yet on the inside I’m screaming. I feel like I’m drowning while everyone is trying not to make eye contact with me. I’m trying to focus on the positive; it’s early, it’s on the small side, there’s no sign of spread so far. But all the “what ifs” are killing me. The waiting is killing me. My wife’s worrying is killing me. I can’t keep saying the same reassuring crap over and over, it’s not helping. Fucking Christ, I’ve always felt like I’m a kid in an adults body playing pretend trying to be a grown up, but now this hits and I need to know; what do I do??

I suspect I might be very depressed, feeling empty with no interest in things, not even my friends. When talking to one of them the other day, I felt so disconnected. Like I dont feel like myself anymore, like I dont have the social skills I had before. I used to be that funny friend, and now I just feel like the opposite. I feel like I dont belong anywhere. My family has been my biggest support throughout treatment, and I love them with all my heart, but I still feel a disconnect from them. I dont know if I even fully understand everything thats happend in the last months. I think I’ve been very detached throughout the entire treatment. And now I cant get a grasp at reality, at ”normal life”. I take antidepressants since a long way back but they definetly have stopped working or something. I dont even know what to do about that. I also maybe need to see a psychologist, but most of all I want to hear if anyone can relate to what im describing and how you’ve dealt with it. You are all my heroes and the only moments I feel understood is talking to you and others who’s been through this fight.

She has done a terrible job going to the doctor and telling the doctor her symptoms (she has been going with a family friend because unfortunately treatment for her is a 6 hour car ride away and I can't do that while working). She's stubborn with me and tells me that she doesn't need to tell the doctor because Advil is sufficient.

However, I am going with her now to make sure she tells the oncologist about the inflammation that is causing significant debilitating pain to where she takes 1min to go up 10 stairs, or struggles to stand. Any recommendations on other watchouts? My concern is the doctor will say no to Keytruda (which has been working overall) due to this, but also given it has been a year since her last treatment I am surprised how beat up she is, without it getting better. If you have any recs, I'm all ears...

I want to make sure she gets the care she needs, and can manage the pain. She has a very 'grin and bear it' mentality which already landed her in treatment for pneumonitis because she said she would just wait until her next check-in to talk about her difficulty breathing. I want to help her how I can.

I've mentioned in a recent post that I have been diagnosed with stage 4 Lung Cancer (NSCLC). I have a very small disease load, with only 1 left lung nodule and a few smaller nodules that have spread to the pleura of my left lung. I am being treated at one of the top cancer centers in the U.S.A.

I am an otherwise extremely healthy and fit 28 year old. All of my blood work is great, as well as organ function and my pulmonary function is actually great as well despite the lung cancer...

We met with my nurse practitioner last week to review the results of my biopsy (oncologist is away for a month) and we only got partial results to confirm that it is NSCLC. Their machine for genetic mutation testing is broken so we cannot receive those results until sometime this week. However, my care team has started me on a regiment of Chemo Therapy + Immunotherapy as they dont expect any targetable mutations. If we do find a mutation this week, I will be pulled off of my current regiment and switched to targeted therapy.

I asked my Nurse Practitioner at the biopsy review if they could give me a prognosis. They gave this long winded answer about how the national average life span is 2 years, but they have patients going 15 years strong etc...but didnt really answer my question. At the end I asked if they were unable to give me a prognosis and they confirmed that they really werent able to. I think they are an awesome NP and I enjoy working with them, I just wonder If I was asking questions that were meant for my oncologist and not my NP?

I dont know how to interpret this...Is this good? Bad? Was the NP unable to give a prognosis because its not their job to?

I feel like my oncologist was alot more optimistic about my case, but unfortunately I wont get to speak to them for another month when we check in on my progress.

Just finished a week of chemo hell.. the taste is unbearable right now and it makes me feel really thirsty. If I drink too much water though I’ll end up bloated and nauseas. Any way to help alleviate this?

Hey, so I was recently diagnosed with ring signet adenocarcinoma in my colon. The mass is about 8cm in size. Doc wants to do chemo therapy and then surgery to remove it, with more chemo after. I just completed my second dose of chemo. I understand my condition is rare but has anyone else survived this? I can't find much info and I just wanna know what are my odds of being cancer free. Any information is appreciated thank you!

Cytarabine + daunorubicin; 7+3 regimen. I'm 17M in good physical and mental state. My cancer was discovered recently when my dad took me to the hospital for a checkup due to feeling tired and shortness of breath. It came out of literally nowhere. If any of you had the misfortune of dealing with AML or this type of chemo (meds), I'd be more than grateful to hear your experience(s). Thank you in advance.

F/33 with PCOS, diabetes. Had a hysteroscopy and it turns out I have figo grade 1 and nuclear grade 2 and complex atypical hyperplasia with a uterine lining of 27mm.

I went and saw a gyno last year because of my worsening periods, but was told it was because I was fat and should lose weight. I was also there for a pap smear, but the doctor didn't even look at me. I just sat there on the table, naked under a blanket for 40 minutes while he ranted about my blood pressure ( I had developed hpb and he refused to treat me until my PCP dealt with it), but after listening to him for 40 minutes while expressing how much I didn't want to talk about it, begging him to stop mentioning my blood pressure because it was stressing me out, he ignored me, my symptoms and a year later I ended up with a three month bleed which landed me in the ER, now I'm iron def and have cancer

I was thinking to myself today about how there is a HIGH probability I will absolutely never be cancer free. Hell, at this point i’d say it is probably nearly guaranteed.

Stage 4 soft tissue sarcoma.

It’s a shit feeling to have. Especially being as young as I am.

Now, all I feel like is that i’m on life support essentially. Every three weeks I go for another infusion of chemotherapy. 8 straight months of chemotherapy with no breaks at all. Harsh chemotherapy as well, not just low dose maintenance.

I hate the fact that if I even decided to try and stop for say, a month or two, that the cancer will just start mutating and spreading more, putting me in worse condition. It’s like keeping a dog on a damn leash.

I just feel like a prisoner. Like I really have no freedom at all anymore because of a fucking disease.

All I really think about now is when do I draw the line in the sand and stop treatment? Do I just exhaust the options? or do I suffer for potentially a few more years just to make everyone else happy? Because honestly, I feel like i’m doing this for everyone else and not me right now. I guess you could say i’m giving up.

But how can you really “give up” when it was already pretty much over before it started?

The ultimate goal was surgical resection, bur unfortunately urtunatley it’s off the table for me. I hate the fact that I did all this harsh chemo for essentially, nothing. And I know so many people feel this way, not only me.

The last annoying thing on my mind is this: People who text me and ask how i’m doing just never respond after I answer. Why did you even ask? Super annoying. I feel like because it makes them feel better about themselves.

Anyway. I guess I just had to rant a little. This stuff is super exhausting as we all know. The only peace I find is that it definitely won’t last for ever!

I feel weird because my oncologist has a good amount of options for me, but ultimately idk if I really want to pursue them just to get a little more time. I feel like an ass for saying that in a way, but it’s true. There is just only so much one can take.

I am extremely grateful for the support from this community. This is the only place I feel comfortable saying these things.

I’m alive, but i’m definitely not living right now.

What do you guys do for mouth sores? Have had them for over a week and it hurts to eat drink and swallow. Havent been eating and have been sticking with ensures to get my calories in for the day.

My Mom recently died something over a month ago. I was there, I... I took care of her she got in september 2022 the diagnose of lounge cancer in the last stadium. We were so positive at the beginning that the chemical treament + life enforcing treatment with the upkeeping therapy would offer her 4 more years. But the treament failed, the medcine hitted her kidneys and she had to stop.

After 2023 they tried an alternative therapy where she lost nearly 20 pounds in 3 months, and finished with the diagnose at march that all therapy options after the cancer spread are outreached. From them I was taking more care, were helping with everything until it became necessary to help her walk, go to toilette, cleaning her, cooking for her.

In 04.20.2024 she had to go to hospital because of heavy pain and I knew she wont left it alive. I could feel it. At least I said a day before good bye, kissed her forehead and told her she was the best mom in the world and she can leave now, that we wont hold her back on earth and in suffer, told her everything will be fine with us (me and my sister which is pregnant 4 Month by my brother in law).

I told her that I love her so much. . . It broke me, I saw already my father dieng from cancer 2016, my auntie which also raised me 2015 from cancer, my other auntie who also kinda raised me 2023 from cancer and now only my sister and one auntie is left.

I am 33 years old. My mom was 66 when she died that year and I am overhelmed by it. I lived the last 8 years with her, doing stuff at the house, repair shit and everything, and now... everything feels so empty and useless.

I F56 got results of bloodwork and biopsies yesterday that I have Endometrial cancer which is the presence of cancer cells in uterine wall. I addition I have an 8cm growth and calsified fibroids. I have to have a full hysterectomy. The news was a bit of a shock as my only symptom was some bloody spotting (post menopause) that did not respond to antibiotics. Hardest part has been breaking the news to my family. Is there anybody on here with Endometrial cancer experience?

If anyone has any suggestions or experiences to share on using cooling caps during chemo I would love to hear. Pros and cons? Which one did you use and do you think it was worth it? Thank you in advance.

I'm 36 years old and I have just been diagnosed with a rare subtype of ovarian cancer. I'm one of the lucky ones, I'm stage 1a, and surgery (removing the cyst + 1 ovary + 1 fallopian tube) was enough. I don't need more surgery, no chemo. I can still be a mom.

But even so, I can't seem to move on. My mental health was not perfect before, but I was OK. Now I feel so depressed, scared, I feel like they made a mistake and I'm going to die soon. I'm in therapy and starting meds, have emergency benzos prescribed... All that. But I can't stop crying, and I can't engage with people. I feel so alone in my head.

I wish I could meet someone in my situation, but I don't feel like cancer groups are for me because... I don't have cancer now? I didn't go through chemo. I should feel happy, I should not be almost suicidal (don't worry, I'm not going to kill myself, and I have a psych and a therapist if things get worse, I just want to stop feeling this mental anguish 24/7).

Does it get better? Was someone here in my situation? What helped you endure this? What helped you move on, if not completely just so you didn't suffer nonstop?

Thanks in advance.

(Apologies if some of the medical terms aren't completely correct, English is not my first language)

I (18f) was diagnosed with a ewing sarcoma with multiple metastases in my spine. I had been suffering from extreme pains that came and went in my right hip for almost 3 months, when a biopsy finally revealed that I had cancer. The doctors, nurses, and care team have been very lovely and helpful throughout it all. I get to stay at the Princess Maxima Center which is one of the best places to be if you have cancer (or so I've heard at least). I can't go to school since the chemo is very harsh and I'm just exhausted all the time. My pain went away very fast after starting chemo so it seems that for now the tumor is reacting well to the treatment.

Despite this all I'm thinking about lately has been death. My odds are a bit shit. I've looked at multiple sources for 5 year survival rates and talked to my doctor about it, and generally it seems to be between the 30 and 35%. Obviously that doesn't mean I'm automatically going to die, but even then, because of treatments my life is going to be on hold at least the next 9 months, and if that all goes well I have to live in fear for the cancer coming back for years. That just barely seems like a life at all. All of my friends are worrying about university and exams, and I'm stuck at home in pain from chemo side effects.

I'm honestly convinced that I'm going to die from this. I don't tell anyone about it because it seems nonsensical, since I've barely even started treatment, but I feel like if I somehow managed to get this stupid cancer, my luck isn't very good in the first place.

I came to this subreddit maybe hoping to hear from other people who got cancer at a young age, or who have it right now, or maybe people who already beat it and can cheer me up a bit. Idk