If you like wine, I’ve had successful first dates at Press Club. Perfect atmosphere, music, sofas, nibbles, and not crowded since Covid

As Brie Larson’s character memorably said in “Trainwreck,” women don’t want to marry best-sex-of-your-life guy. Best-sex-of-your-life guy is in jail. I think you asked a question and your wife answered, and she meant nothing malicious when she couldn’t help you with what made her experience with that one guy different. The orgasm gap is a thing and does affect a woman’s willingness to get busy, but it’s often the interaction between her brakes and accelerators that holds the key to a more satisfying sex life for you both. Please read the book “Come as You Are”! It’s revelatory, and so healing. Wish you the best

He made me agree to repay the money he stole from me in order for me to stay in our house with the kids. California law says it doesn’t matter what led to the divorce, you just split what’s left and part company. That often means selling the house. But he had already taken more than half of our net worth without my knowledge, so I thought it was fair to let me keep the house and walk away. He was due to inherit tons of money from his parents anyway. But he threatened to go to court if I didn’t take on the $450K home equity line of credit he stole and then gaslit me about. It upsets me every single day

You can 5150 her based on the letter to protect her from herself. She’ll be held and evaluated for 72 hours. Then she can participate in an inpatient or outpatient program once they know what’s going on. I had to do this twice with family members, and I’m so glad I did. Everyone is much better and I might be telling a different story if I hadn’t. It’s not comfortable or easy, but I suspect it must be done. I wish you both the best

The way it feels walking around every day in a country that has never had a female president or more than a minority of female justices and legislators even though we are more than 50% of the population. And they’re legislating away our rights.

I see no ways this ends well. Red flags everywhere. I know you said marrying him is important to you, but I promise that even with two kids, your chances of finding happiness with a man you can trust are much, much higher if you walk away. I wish you the best

I have no idea! He was raised in chaos so he wasn’t brought up that way. I guess it’s just how he’s wired. It makes my life better every day

I’m not like that either, but we balance each other. One ramification of not worrying about the future is that he has very little retirement savings, so my anxious forethought has come in handy!

He is a renewable energy project developer and frequent rock, high alpine and ice climber. For 25 years he was a flight medic. You can’t rattle him!

Ha you’re not far off! My daughters and I call him the Human Dog

59(F) and 60(M). Have sex most days

His Zen. He would never call it that, but he lives in the moment in the truest sense. He’s never depressed, looking backwards, and never anxious, worrying about the future. He is the definition of the peace and happiness you can experience by living every moment. He literally closes his eyes and makes a little moan when he eats. Adorable

The choppy chin-length cut with bangs that finally allowed my somewhat-curly hair do what it wants every single day. I just toss it like a salad and go

When I was a teenager, my father was having a breakdown and my mother insisted we three daughters keep it a secret, even inside our home. It meant that none of our relationships was authentic, and we couldn’t ask for any help. When I applied for college I referred to the breakdown and his alcoholism in my personal essay, and my mother was so furious she made me rewrite it and almost miss all the deadlines. (No common app or digital back then.) She screamed at me and at my father. “Do you see what your daughter thinks of you??” So, so messed up. I’m still recovering from all this abuse in my fifties.

I think any small request a partner refuses is indicative of basic selfishness or disregard that might be a basic relationship deal-breaker

The sponsorship is incidental to the details of your relationship. Factor it out when you make your decision. He’s the one who should have worried about prioritizing your relationship when his immigration status is at stake, not you

I’m originally from NY, here for 25 years, and it bothers me every year. I also schedule weekends away and hikes outside of the city to enjoy summer weather. And I appreciate the fact that we’re not sweltering when everyone else I know is complaining about it. But mostly I dream of retirement in a few years when I can move to a wine area like Amador County. Yay summer!

Mine read somewhere that it takes 6 seconds of kissing to get that bonding feel-good oxytocin flowing, so now he kisses me for 6 seconds several times a day

Hamnet. The most innovative, affecting (then-new) novel I’ve read in years

I’m away on business, so it was the day before I left. He’s 60, I’m 59F, together 6 years. When the kids are away, prolly 5 nights/week. When the youngest is home from college it’s more like every other day since I spend a fair number of evenings watching movies with her instead of fooling around with my partner. Everybody’s happy. Nice second chapter relationship in all ways

For what it’s worth, and only to offer another opinion, one thing to consider if you tell one or more of these parties is the emotional load on you. This is not technically your responsibility, and you could choose not to take it on, avoiding the repercussions. Let karma take care of them all and focus on yourself and your new life. I wish you the best

It’s interesting to consider these options without all the big feelings. I did not want to change my name and my husband was fine with it. I also wanted to ensure my name was not lost in the next generation, and my husband was fine with it. My name is X and my husband’s was Y, so our 3 kids have the last name X-Y, and nobody has ever gotten confused or given our kids guff and it’s been a non-issue in all the circumstances you cite above. I hope it can be the same for you.

As it were

This sounds like a matter for marriage counseling. It seems clear to me that sex is important to you and not to her. She needs to understand how important. And if working on it in therapy doesn’t move the needle, you have decisions to make.

FYI in my first marriage we had sex roughly 3X a week. Married 19 years and raised 3 kids. In my current relationship it’s nearly every night. Empty nesters, together 6 years. I’m 59F and he’s 60.