I actually didn't know about daddy by Korn. It was sooooo helpful to listen to. Parts of it were really hitting right in the spot. So thank you for letting me know about this one.

I already know flatsound song, it's a really good one.

I listened to sullen girl but didn't really had any feeling to it, but I'll try to listen to it again.

Thank you !!

Wow. I wasn't expecting that at all. Thank you. It gave a lot of place to some of my deepest feelings. It really helped. If you got more like that I would love to listen.

Thank you so much!!! I'll do that.

It's really sad your therapist doesn't believe you. It's also not her place really to say if you have or not this diagnosis... Anyways I'm sorry for that but I'm glad your psychiatrist agree with you.

The issue with me is that I need a therapist that does multiple things, cause I have other disorders that CBT usually don't work well with... It's just so frustrating and feel like I could never find the right therapist. I also have another disorder that needs to have someone that has experience with it and there are very few in my country that can do it :/... so I don't even know what to do really

I'm glad you find the right therapy+therapist

Yeah. I also wasn't in therapy for schizotypal, for other stuff and they never really helped with the other stuff either. It always felt like wasting money on nothing.

Oh lol💀 well I guess if it suits you then that's good

Where can I find it online? Can you dm me a link that works? I would love to see it !

I watched wisdom of trauma and it helped with understanding some stuff.

Yes, I relate and totally understand that and agree.

I also work on expressing my feelings, it gets better.

I dont think you should look for a boyfriend online.. it's scary shit and even when you think you won't give out personal info you might end up giving little pieces by time and you cannot know who's on the other side.

When I was younger I also talked to people online a lot and usually p*dophiles were behind the screen, sadly.

Anyways... please don't search things like that online. There are lots of creeps out here and everywhere...

Take care

Think about what makes you feel better. Try to take some days with friends to call you Josef/Andrew. Feel yourself as Josef/Andrew. Don't change your name because of how others might react to it, change your name to feel complete with yourself and happy.

So I think Josef is the best option from what you wrote.

I totally understand. Toxic relationships are so freaking horrible. It boosts up a lot of shit and negativity in ourselves. But you got this, I believe in you.❤️❤️❤️ best of luck! You can message me anytime if you'd like.

"It's your life. Don't let anybody rule it like it's theirs. Don't do things you don't want to."

I hope I'm not writing something that someone else wrote, sorry if I did. I was like this for most of my life, then stopped, then went back to it after a toxic friendship I had, sadly. But now I'm working on it again.

So I'll advice you what I did when I stopped the first time. I firstly analyzed the situation, why was I saying sorry about this and that? Whatever the answer is, it's the key... you work on what makes you say sorry. For me, I felt constantly like a burden on others. In a way I said to myself something like "I don't care that I'm a burden", and I started saying "cool" and "thank you" instead. I also eventually realized that I am not a burden at all.

Now I say sorry a lot if I fear someone, which is also a problem, but it's not because "being a burden" anymore. It's just because a toxic friendship I had two years ago. I'm working on that now, it's different though. I'm working on gaining more confidence and proving myself that I can take care of myself and that I won't let anyone hurt me.

So anyways... whatever your answer is for why you're apologizing so much is your key to solve this problem.

It takes some time but also if you can share a friend about this problem and let them catch it when you say sorry and help you changing that it can be great.

Called an ambulance over having "bugs inside my head" 💀 good times...

Yeah sure you can send me a message. And anyone who's reading it can send me a message too.

Nice

I start with analyzing things I go through (thoughts, feelings, etc) and then I understand from where it comes (something from my childhood most of the time) and then I work on changing my reactions to things and my beliefs. It takes some time but eventually it works. I also do sort of an exposure self therapy for anxiety, I already did overcome some of the anxiety things I had (for example for years I couldn't sit and eat in a restaurant and now I can with no fear at all and really enjoying the food)

I also have this thing where I go through a trance state of mind, it shows me some trauma from the past/or it shows me how I feel in the moment (I'm not always aware of how I feel and it helps).

I started all of it when I was 15, it's been a couple of years and a lot of things changed for the best. I already have self love and a lot of good things that came out of this self therapy..

I'm writing a lot and drawing a lot about my feelings and thoughts. But mostly writing.

I solved a lot of problems that I had. But of course I still have a long way to go through and I keep on doing this and I enjoy doing this.

Wow yes!!

Oh yeah I think it's just paranoia for me, you can talk to me anytime if you need.

You don't have to prove yourself, you can send me a message :)