Okay so the speculum is a tool that opens the vaginal canal so the doctor can see the cervix and other things in the back. It is a part of the physical exam because they need to look at that in order to make sure everything looks good.
I would also say, lady you are pregnant. Your OB being able to see your vagina/cervix system prebirth would better allow for checking anything that's wrong after birth.
If you've never had an exam spend time with the doctor talking through your concerns, ask these questions to them, and figure out what the best path forward is for you.
There are different sizes speculums and different styles. The doctor might choose a different one based on your concern.
The HPV test is a cotton swab of your cervix so a speculum is being sure the doctor is hitting the cervix and not any of the other tissue in your vaginal canal.
I guess I'm not understanding what your adversion is to the speculum? My experience is yes, it's uncomfortable but it's not even close to how bad getting an IUD inserted was.
I hope your adversion isn't due to SA or trauma. <3
If you look near a university in your area you might find a student who is subleasing their room, usually with furniture for the summer for cheap. That would give you a chance to get things figured out. Sometimes they won't even want a deposit, or if they do it will be cheaper.
Look around for that. You need literally any job at all. Then you will be able to make some moves.
You can still do the GRE prep when you aren't working and you have a handful of months before having to apply for that.
While you stick around at your sisters, look into the grey rock method. If she's looking for information to make some drama with- you basically just offer no info and become boring, like a grey rock. Then she's not getting the emotional rise out of you. And so she might be easier to be around.
I know you said you burned out. And I get that. But now you have had a year, which doesnt sound like it was very healing- so it's time to move on and deal with some random job to just bring in literally anything. You will end up building up resilience for being on the work schedule and effort again so when you get into school it won't be zero to 60mph as bad.
You can do this. Make a plan. Follow it. Get out and be free and heal. <3
He's got to get to work on time! His nursing job is on the line!
It isn't zero. Nothing in science is ever really zero. However, it is so unlikely it would be like winning the lottery several times in a row.
It isn't the simple math you are describing here however. You would do some deep statistics considering the number of matching data points (I don't know how many markers they are using, but it is enough to do this determination).
I'd suggest looking into hardy-weinburgh equations and imagine how much more strongly your statistics get when you are working with a lot of data points. I am not great at articulating this sort of math without lots of examples on a white board.
When it says 70.69 times it's talking about the probability that the results they saw compared to the minimum necessary to say they are full siblings.
Where you are thinking of the 50% is about how much DNA should at minimum be similar between 2 full siblings.
The DNA evidence says that they are 70.69 times more likely to be full siblings than they are to be not full siblings.
The outcome means there is no question that they are full siblings. It would be an impossibly unlikelihood that they just happen to share as much genetic information as they do and for them to not be full siblings.
I think I see Lamar in here.
(Listen to Ninja Sex party's - I don't know what we 're talking about)
Your response to the reddit cares message brought me a good laugh, which let's be honest- is all it's good for mostly these days.
Edit- I got my first reddit cares from this comment XD I can't believe people.
Every TJs I have ever been in- the isles are weirdly laid out, stuff is organized differently than any store I've shopped at, and the shelving type makes finding things harder- on top of the bad lighting and crowded nature.
I feel you. In my current review cycle, I'm being told that I come off as condescending or patronizing in some meetings where I get annoyed with people. The joke here is the only time I do this - it is 100% intentional because the men in the room are talking to me like that and I'm mirroring their behavior to bring attention to how ridiculous they are. My manager is like " don't lower yourself to their level" and I'm just sitting here pointing at those 2 men asking why aren't you calling them out for talking to me like that? I can tell it's going to be a fun year for my one to ones with my manager.
So now in the meetings with these 2 man children I have to sit there and just take it and wait for them to stop explaining my field of expertise to me, and then reask the question that prompted their monologue hoping they actually answer this time.
It doesn't help either that I'm ADHD and not interrupting people is hard enough even on meds - and these two men are definitely also ADHD but no one expects them to change their behaviors and instead just works around their complete lack of executive function and inability to follow through because they got their PhDs. It's become a joke that one of them never answers his emails and he doesn't come to meetings he's supposed to be at, yet when I complain about it - "he's really busy and spread thin." Uhuh. Right. That's why he can sit in the open office and talk for 5 hours a day so loudly I have to wear sound canceling headphones to get literally anything done around here. /rant
I feel you so so hard! Just wtf is this world we have to put up with?!?!?!
Audiobooks or binaural beats + the game sound when I'm playing something single player story based. I use this webpage for the binaural beats because it has a good mixer so I can get the volume just right.
Audiobooks for games without dialogue or structure like Valhiem and any survival builder game.
Binaural beats set to "relax" for me help me focus on the game and if the sound track isn't interesting enough or whatever I will put on my own music and turn the in game music off but keep the sound cues on.
If it's a longer term story game I get really frustrated if I get stuck, so don't be too proud it look up guides and walk throughs to beat it.
Anime with subtitles with something turn based usually works for me. I can watch the show, read along, and then when I get bored I can take a turn. With turn based there isn't a penalty usually for just forgetting you are playing.
Uninstall tiktoc, Instagram. At least reddit is reading mostly and writing practice.
Medication def helps. If I want to play baulders gate 3 all day on Saturday - take meds- spend 30 mins picking up the house/office space so I feel accomplished then I can focus on the game guilt free all day.
For sure! I think my point is the list is basically higher quality doctors who actually listen to their patients instead of ignoring them or pushing the doctors beliefs onto the patient.
I'm really glad you were able to use a resource that a reddit community put out!
I have a similar experience in some regard. I bet those asses are the same that would see a woman at home Depot and assume she doesn't know anything about what she's shopping for because home improvement is the man's job. Eye roll in Liz Lemon style
I love when I ask a question that has an easy answer and the men around me have to explain the big bang to present day to give me the answer. Then I get told in a review that I'm impatient and get frustrated easily. I think anyone should be frustrated when what should be a 2 minute exchange turns into the 2 minutes +10 minutes of unnecessary information being monologued at me.
I know you said you were venting but the only things I have found to help are as follows:
If you have an upper manager and they do the ghosting thing, send your follow up WTF email looking for the response and CC your manager on it to make sure they see what's happened.
Everytime you have to go about fixing the errors the maintenance team makes because they can't follow your instructions- document how long it takes and if the final outcome was what you told them to do in the first place.
I am glad you know how to assert yourself and your authority. I only offer the prior suggestions because making management aware of how much of your time is being wasted dealing with the bullshit seems to be the only way I've got people above me to take the problem seriously and enforce changes on the assholes that don't just do their jobs. Once it's clear money/productivity is being lost because other people aren't just doing what they are supposed to things tend to improve, or at least more than any prior amount of "bitching" I've done has.
I'm so glad to hear you had success! I hope in the future the experience you had is much closer to the average one. Yay for no more suffering from insane periods!
The child free subreddit's list of doctors is a great resource.
I'm going to piggyback here to say it is great for everyone to find a good doctor, but especially for younger people who do not want to have children to get permanent birth control type procedures done without any of the bullshit about changing your mind ect...
Being 26 things in your body are changing.
Tell your doctor that after starting Zoloft you noticed weight gain and you stopped oral birth control. The combo of that can be a part of what is happening. The other part is the change in metabolism as you age.
Your body is just changing and it sounds like you are working hard to help yourself in a healthy way to lose weight.
Counting calories is hard and unless you are weighing your food and stuff you might be undercounting, especially if you changed the types of foods you are eating a lot.
When you start working out, you may gain muscle and muscle is denser than fat so you may see the scale go up and think WTF is happening.
If you are intent on dropping the pounds, instead focus on your measurements changing. Get a body measuring tape and do that every couple of weeks once you get a routine at the gym figured out.
My boobs also got WAY huge around that time. Your body is moving where it stores fat.
A thyroid ultrasound is good, but you may also ask for a blood panel to check that everything looks good on that.
When you changed meds and went off hormonal BC you may also have changed your microbiome in a meaningful way. Try out an oral probiotic to try to help make sure the good stuff is in your intestines. The gut microbiome is very important in making sure you are getting what you need from your food and not more sugars or whatever.
Gaining muscle will increase your caloric needs as long as you are maintaining the muscle gain.
Being more hydrated also makes the scale go up, so try to not panic over a couple of lbs variation of you are weighing yourself every day.
I use an app called Libra where you add your weight 1/day and it graphs it out so you can see the trends because day to day you can weight +/- a couple of lbs because of poop, water retention, food you ate, and so on.
I know I rambled and I kept having to do stuff then return to your post so my apologies for being scattered.
I wish you the best.
But then the sons progress so far will be lost. I'm in the same boat with me and my husband.
It could be as simple as just mindfully meditating on the work you are doing and putting your emotions into a mantra for the patients. Some phrase that helps you articulate the things you want to impart by your work. You don't even have to say it out loud but you definitely can if you like.
It's about the intention. You are giving of your life energy, brain power, love into the future patient.
My thoughts on this particular branch of witchiness is that there is some change we affect in energy of stuff. Maybe it's the quantum entanglement of the electrons, who knows. I genuinely think someday we will be able to measure it but we lack the tech today.
My friend has these window clings that are opaque but look like stained glass- maybe that? In case you need to move or change the space it will be easier to revert it to normal.
It will also help with the room looking brighter because some light will be able to reflect still.
They do make sticky wallpaper but I'd be wary it wouldn't come off the glass.
Sometimes the doctor, especially with a lower income situation would have a nurse show the mother how to do it and then they would do it at home with check ins.
I agree that if this was the case- OP should have been made more aware/included in the process and made sure they had an understanding of what was happing to help minimize trauma. It sounds like OP only remembers the event of it happening so that makes me think even if it wZ medically necessary they were not well briefed on the events and what was happening.
I could see a doctor asking the parent to do it as well as it would be more traumatizing if for example OP remembered this being done at the hands of a doctor regularly. But then again maybe they would have been better informed.
For OP this definitely was not okay and is of course valid in any trauma response related to this regardless of the cause of it happening to them.
I know for adults/teens they get educated on how to work through this sort of problem and do the therapy themselves with a check in with the doctor after some time.
PS- the hood of the clitoris can also fuse to the clit itself so this isn't just a problem for natural male anatomy.
It could have been medical intervention if your foreskin was starting to adhere to the head of the penis. It would make sense with the tears and bleeding.
The alternative would have been circumcision potentially so maybe that's what she was trying to avoid.
I'm not saying it could not be CSA but I am aware of the medical necessity being a thing. If it was left alone and the adherence was happening you would have likely had more issues as you grew older and it would have been more painful or required surgery to have a comfortable erection/ sexual intercourse.
What are you eating with your meds in the morning?
I found that after really keeping up on my hydration level and taking my vyvanse in the morning with a protein breakfast drink I have had the whole flushed/hot/dizzy spells way less frequently. I cant remember when I had it last actually but it used to be a daily occurrence around the same time you are describing.
Hummmm this is a hard one.
I have a pair of Bose quiet comfort ones but for a n 8yo head they may not stay on super great.
I think maybe there is some merit in him trying to work through being able to handle the very small amount of distraction noise. Like eventually he will have to function in a space that isn't as accommodating and quiet.
What about just straight up ear plugs? I know it won't block the sound all the way but it will dampen it.
My coworker with Autism has the accommodation that he has a single earbud in at all times playing some sort of music that he finds soothing and grounding. Even during meetings. Everyone knows he's paying attention because he has demonstrated it and no one minds.
I don't know what to tell ya, the Bose quiet comfort are the kind that need to be charged and they do actively cancel out the sound and in my experience it's pretty good. Like maybe 80% at least reduction if not 100% but I may not be as sensitive as your son. I do have perfect hearing though so don't worry about that as a part of my take.
As far as the no screen classroom- could you have the teacher connect their phone to the Bluetooth on the headphones or ear buds and play classical music or lofi for him ? I heard Montessori doesn't supply their teachers with some support for tools, so like maybe you need to supply the teacher with a YouTube premium or the downloads for the music. Alternatively, get an old phone and just give it to them to use as the Bluetooth source.
Oh! Another idea- the over the passive canceling ear headphones + in ear foam ear plugs? That might be enough to do it for him?
What is the issue with taking your meds in the morning and staying up to hang with friends? Are you too tired? Do you have to get up early the next day? How long do you feel like your meds effect you?
I'd educate yourself by watching a bunch of how to ADHD on YouTube. She's respected and bases her information on facts and such.
They might say they are fine because they believe their struggles are due to lack of personal motivation, or think they are just lazy.
Maybe try to use the time to educate them about the disorder. Like defining terms like "executive dysfunction" and explaining the difference between explaining your struggles and blaming your disorder for a problem.
Maybe ask them about what is the biggest struggle for them is? And see if you can brainstorm ideas that would help them tackle the issue.
Otherwise I'd just read posts here and see what people are talking about. A lot of us have come up with coping mechanisms that help us but they took years and years of struggle to get to it.
The biggest thing I personally would have benefited from would have been not constantly telling myself I am just a lazy sack of shit because I can't sit down and just study, being mad with myself for procrastinating again, even though last time I said I would start early, forgetting things that were important to not forget, and the struggle of finding things I enjoyed for more than a couple of weeks at a time.
I would like an invite please.
<3 looking forward to being vetted
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