A doctor actually listened!

I have been struggling with heavy painful periods my whole life. I am also done having children and exploring sterilization by salpingectomy but would just say “just use hormonal BC sorry nothing else I can do” for the heavy periods, which I had tried in the past with poor outcomes. Then they’d tell me that I hadn’t tried it with them, or this new one, and they weren’t willing to explore more drastic measures until then.

This doctor listened. Then she made two columns on a piece of paper and said “these are your options for heavy periods” “these are your options for permanent sterilization” she then crossed off everything I said I had tried. The treatments that remained she started explaining how they would fit my situation or not, and within a couple minutes there were only a couple options left. She explained the risks and of each, and the answer was clear.

Then she scheduled it. And that was it. No hoops to jump through just validation, education and compassion on my path to treatment. I am so relieved.

I found her on the childfree sub’s list of doctors and highly recommend using that resource to find care even if you aren’t childfree.

in TwoXChromosomesby cmerksmirk

266

95%

25d

I_AMA_giant_squid

25d

I'm so glad to hear you had success! I hope in the future the experience you had is much closer to the average one. Yay for no more suffering from insane periods!

The child free subreddit's list of doctors is a great resource.

I'm going to piggyback here to say it is great for everyone to find a good doctor, but especially for younger people who do not want to have children to get permanent birth control type procedures done without any of the bullshit about changing your mind ect...

cmerksmirk

25d

Yeah I’m not younger, and I already have a child. I just figured if this doc is willing to sterilize people younger than me without kids she would at least hear me out with my issue, and she totally was.

That kind of healthcare should be the standard for all, period!

I_AMA_giant_squid

25d

For sure! I think my point is the list is basically higher quality doctors who actually listen to their patients instead of ignoring them or pushing the doctors beliefs onto the patient.

I'm really glad you were able to use a resource that a reddit community put out!

Jolly-Slice340

25d

It will never be the standard as long as doctors can be sued in court for ruining a woman’s ability to have kids forever. Juries are sympathetic to the women’s stories.

Its not worth losing ones home, license and livelihood to do this for patients

starwars101

25d

I wonder how often suits like that actually occur? Like really, how often do women regret sterilization versus regret being denied sterilization?

Reaniro

They/Them

25d

Likely rarely to never. I did a quick search and I can’t find a single case of it happening.

Most of what I saw was people suing for unwanted pregnancies bc of botched sterilisations. Or suing bc they were sterilised without their consent. Not a single case of suing bc they regretted it.

cmerksmirk

24d

That is not the reason these procedures are denied. Not even close.

Bravedoll3

25d

Something has to change. I’ve gone through menopause, probably still going through it, but haven’t had a period for a long time. My periods were disgusting. They were so heavy and debilitating. It was the most vile thing, I couldn’t be far from a bathroom and better be ready to run. When I first got my period at 11 yo, you didn’t talk about it, it was a secret, it was shameful and you didn’t want anybody to know you even had your period so we just dealt with whatever we got. I hope the young women of today really start a movement to somehow have us taken more seriously.

harbinger06

25d

That is exactly how it should work! They listen, explain your options, and you decide together what is best for your situation. Ridiculous that so many providers gatekeep permanent birth control.

cmerksmirk

25d

For my situation it wasn’t so much the permanent birth control that was being gatekept as I’m mid thirties and have a kid but the instead the surgical, guaranteed effective options for treating heavy periods.

landshark11

25d

I love this for you! Yay!

zepuzzler

25d

This is absolutely awesome. Sorry about the medical issues, so glad you got help. That doctor is a model of how it should be done.

Practical-Spell-3808

25d

Since the BC pill controls my pain and mental health, my doc suggested I stay on it after removing my tubes. It’s the perfect combo for my health and peace of mind.

cmerksmirk

25d

I am so glad that works for you! That’s why it’s so important that all options are discussed. Different things work for different people.

Unfortunately I either got horrible mental health side effects, or no relief, depending on which hormonal method we are talking about . Now I have a heart condition too so all combined pills are out cause of clot risk. A hysterectomy is the best option for me.

eutrapalicon

24d

Noting what you've said about hormones here but if you are having your ovaries removed then it is going to have a massive impact on your hormones.

Birth control is often synthetic hormones. HRT is generally bio-identical. Being in perimenopause has absolutely wiped me out and only started getting better after using estrogen gel. Estrogen is also really protective for our general health too.

Might be something the doctor can provide some guidance on too?

cmerksmirk

24d

I am keeping my ovaries (for exactly why you’re mentioning), but not my tubes, uterus, or cervix.

Thanks for looking out :)

Foggy_Radish

25d

I’m so happy for you!!! Congratulations on finding a gem of a doctor in that minefield of medical care.

blbd

24d

A doctor that uses accurate evidence based diagnostic algorithms to do their job and openly shares them with the patient to engage in shared decisionmaking to resolve the case. That's what they teach in medical school and is textbook proper procedure. It's a shame and a blot on the reputation of the entire medical field that this is the exception in so many instances instead of the norm.

OpalWildwood

24d

I’ve had periods so heavy I sometimes couldn’t leave the house. When I found out — long into perimenopause — that ablations were available and would cut my periods down by a high percentage, I was so pissed. My neighbor had had one, and it cured her issue. No one had ever offered it to me. Doctors tend to not offer procedures they haven’t gotten trained in.

cmerksmirk

24d

My doc actually doesn’t recommend ablations for women under 40 cause the endometrium can grow back snd then you’re bleeding again and need the hysterectomy anyways so she didn’t even suggest it for a second. It also does nothing for cramping which is another major issue of mine.

I’m so glad your neighbor got help, and so furious you and so many suffered