Immediately my head went to Dave Coulier

It was clear from OP's post that her step sister isn't related to her or her father biologically.

"Did your parents or other kids in school constantly make fun of you or criticize your body growing up?"

Yes-- "I can tell."

No- "Really? You sure sound like they did. I wonder where you learned that from?.."

You can buy them from Amazon or Target from $15-25ish. I've seen a bunch around $40 & then there's crazy $100 versions. Honestly you don't need to buy anything fancy. The $40ish ones do the exact same thing as the $20. The prices are just raised for no reason.

If you don't want to buy one, put a small pot of water on the stove. When it starts to steam a lot, turn it off & lean over it for a bit. You can do the same with a bowl of microwaved water or water poured into a bowl from an electric kettle. Just be careful. The water needs to be steaming, but don't do hotter than what feels comfortable. Some people put a towel on the back to their head & around the pot/bowl to capture the moisture.

NTA

Your father shouldn't be asking you to be a go-between under any circumstances. It absolutely is not your place or a position that an adult should put you in. Your mother already said no, which is reasonable and appropriate given her own place in the family. Your Dad gave up sharing future monetary privileges with your mother whenever he agreed to a divorce. Expecting her to provide the money when it doesn't pertain to you or your brother is him treating your mother like his spouse without him reciprocating.

While I feel a bit bad for your sister on an emotional level, your Dad or step mom can seek loans or other resources if they want. It's also important to learn that other people have different circumstances (better or worse) at different times. Sometimes that means missing opportunities or items. It will happen to everyone at some point. Your dad & step-mom need to have an honest sit down with your little sister about their family finances and its impact. Even if their finances improve, she will need to be aware of how it affects other aspects of her education, social life, driving, and potential work expectations.

🤣 no matter your reason, well done.

NTJ

Tell her that suddenly making a fuss over you owning cats after 5 years of her making no effort to see your home is bizarre. That she doesn't need to complain about the issue anymore because she will not be issued any future invitations to your home, which makes her whining a moot point. If she then continues to complain, tell her that since she has nothing pertinent to say, then you're assuming she is just seeking attention. Tell her that you aren't the proper resource for that & she needs to seek others or professional help. Then hang up or remove yourself from the situation.

Anytime that she brings it back up: Repeat Aunt, I've already explained this to you. I'm hanging up now. (Or I have somewhere to be & walk away/ go in other room or leave) basically you're going to politely shut her down & ignore her. She wants attention so give her as little as possible until she learns she can't get it from you through being ridiculous or complaining.

Part of me thinks she keeps leaving all her stuff in the university or dorm laundry (same rude behavior as at parents) & getting mad when others get stuck having to remove it all.

The other thought is that it's something to do with the family seeing certain undergarments/ lingerie that she defines embarrassing or could lead to questions regarding her sexual activities. Which sort of still doesn't make sense or why never put away the laundry.

"The universe is trying to show you what you need to see before it's too late."

I really like how you phrased that.

Most people won't quit their job a whole month ahead of time.

So I came on this after you made your edit. Glad to see that overall, you're taking this seriously. There's still something that doesn't seen to be clicking with you tho...

"She's never had an issue with holding a job, but getting one seems to be the problem here, especially with how picky she is."

Just want to point out that even if she's struggling to get hired where she now is that she's always had an issue holding a job, because she isn't willing to work a lot of basic ones that most people can't avoid. She's just been lucky or supported by others enough to get to be "picky" & avoid those jobs.

She will continue having an issue holding a job even if she does get hired doing something she wants because she thinks many types of work are beneath her. That also translates into how she treats different required tasks and other people at her places of employment. Thinking things are beneath her means she associates people doing those services as beneath her. That means she probably doesn't treat those people well, at least not if she thinks she can get away with it. Even corporate jobs have janitors, assistants, in office food service, and other service based employees. People pick up on vibes and general rudeness. She could even be that lazy person in the business that everyone else has to clean up behind because she won't follow through with anything she doesn't like. That hurts her (& by extension you) at any place she works.

This could even translate into her sucking up to bosses or being manipulative towards employees that she views as having a higher or lower standing. Depending on how far that extends, the two of you might have some major moral differences that you haven't considered.

Ooooo I didn't have a spoiled experience, but that absolutely must've sucked for you. I'd be so mad.

That's the correct approach. He's responsible for his mental health. You aren't.

WNBTJ

It's your heirloom. Give it to anyone you want. It doesn't have to go to a relative, especially none blood related, when you aren't choosing to have children. As is, don't bring it up or mention it to anyone in your husband's family. It's currently & probably never will be any of their business.

If you're currently writing wills jic something happens while you're young, then gift it to your best friend or something else meaningful that makes you feel comfortable in the meantime. (BTW don't tell the person, let it be a surprise so you can change your mind later.)

Overall as you age, you might find that you develop a special relationship with a younger person & choose to give it to them. If that naturally happens with your niece whenever she becomes an adult, then cool. If not, that's fine. The person could be a mentee or maybe some crazy life event will cause you to unexpectedly take in a child despite not wanting kids. (I don't mean to belittle your childfree decision. I'm the same. I've known someone that literally found a baby in a dumpster, you never know what could randomly happen.)

You could also have the ring reworked into a necklace, earring, or bracelet that you'd actually feel safe to wear without worrying about it falling off. If you're so concerned about having it stolen because you think it attracts too much attention, you could even divide the stones between 2 smaller rings for you & your husband. If you're out by yourself, then your ring might not be as flashy as the original design.

You could also donate it to a museum on death. You could even sell it in retirement if you don't have someone who you'd like to inherit it. Given the age, a collector or jeweler might really appreciate owning it and the craftsmanship involved. .

NTJ

Not wrong at all. It doesn't matter how long that she's been a guest. Her behavior was completely inappropriate. If she keeps it up, then higher management needs to be informed & perhaps she needs to have her ability to remain a guest removed.

How's he going to kick his parents out of a house that he doesn't pay for??...

Goodness! Former groomer & have owned many pyrs. I've had legitimate working pyrs, others that were only outside pets, some indoor/outdoor, & some coach potatos that could care less about the outdoors. I live in your same region.

They need their double fur coat in order to maintain their core temp. That double fur layer creates a pocket of air insulation & is their main method to regulate themselves. That includes in 115 degree weather with extreme humidity. They need both layers of fur for the extreme heat & cold.

Part of the reason pyrs shed so much during hot seasonal changes isn't because their fur is so long. The primary coat that sheds like crazy is the undercoat. It thins itself out underneath for summer. Losing that thick downy layer keeps them from holding in so much heat. The overcoat stays long to trap in cool air. Imagine pulling most of the stuffing (undercoat) out of a your heavy winter jacket. There's only a bit of stuffing & the jacket shell (overcoat/guardhair) left to wear. You won't be hot anymore, but there's still a safety barrier between you & the elements. The overcoat does all the waterproofing & provides sun protection. Plus the bright white to cream fur color reflects sun instead of getting hot to the touch (so it doesn't add body heat).

In winter the undercoat gets very thick to hold the heat to their bodies. The overcoat holds even more in. (Imagine how layering socks of different thickness/density helps in winter). The overcoat is still doing it's waterproofing thing for snow & slush; so, their body isn't actually getting wet. It's why people can pet them & they'll be wet on top but dry underneath the fur layers.

A pyr shouldn't ever be shaved unless there's some major skin issue or matting that can't be addressed by a better method.

Owners who are knowledgeable about the breed will never take them to be shaved. Part of being a groomer is educating clients & refusing service when the service is harmful to the animal. They can, of course, be given baths or have their fur shorten/evened out. Shortening their fur isn't necessary, but it can make things easier when caring for a primarily indoor dog. Indoor pyrs normally need some booty hole trimming and paw pads defuzzed. When shortening the overall body, they should never be cut into the undercoat & some length needs to stay overall.

You're correct about the fur not growing back properly. Sometime the dog gets lucky & it eventually turns out fine. Most of the time it's causing a bigger mess. What you described on the fur is actually the poor pooches getting sunburnt, bc they don't have the guard hairs to protect them. Their skin is usually naturally pink or very white. So like pale AF people, they're going to fry if it's not covered. Shaving also makes them more likely to develop grass & skin allergies. The overcoat will get tangles, burrs, and grass seed, but it also helps to hold irritants away from their skin and body. If you pay attention, an unshaved pyr in extreme hot temperatures either won't be panting like crazy at all or as bad as a shaved pyr.

Your boss really concerns me. Pyrs aren't the only double coated dogs and the no shaving thing applies to other breeds too. Sorry about my rant. Basically I don't believe in shaving them as a groomer or an owner.

Does she know that her sibling wanted all that money?

In general, it seems like you dodged a bullet. No bad future in-laws. No significant other that doesn't trust you. No significant other with bad basic judgement of situations and other people.

NTA

Noooooo. You aren't wrong. You did nothing wrong. It was her responsibility to know how much needed to be paid where whenever she decided to own her own business and hire employees. Unless the benefits & tradeoffs are wonderful (hers aren't), it doesn't make sense to stay somewhere that cuts your pay by 10 freaking percent.

She's way off base by getting upset with you for not accommodating her lousy and blatantly unprofessional business practices. She wasn't doing you a favor by hiring you. You did her a favor by bringing 15 yrs of animal skills & 7 grooming to her business. You bumped up her business reputation whether or not you realized it. Her response to you quitting shows that she's a crappy person in general. It's probably a good thing that you're no longer working for her. You might want to seriously consider starting your own mobile grooming at some point.

Do you have anything in writing or some sort of pay contract that lists the original 30%?

I really like it

NTA

You Are handing down/reusing your daughter's baby stuff for your upcoming kid. Your own kid will still be needing the items to use. You're just having to sell/trade some of it to get what he needs. Do what you need to do & prioritize your own children. IF there's anything left after selling or repurposing, then consider donating it to your sister.

If the rest of your family cares so much, then they can continue to supply what your sister needs. Your mom & extended family aren't thinking straight about any of this. Your decision to resell or trade clothes for your son helps to prevent you from ever potentially ending up in a similar financial state as your sister. It actually helps the rest of your family not need to assist you. Keep using your good sense. Congratulations on the upcoming new baby.

NTA

I think you should file a police report about your brother's threats. Make sure they know that he's been in & out of behavioral facilities and is over a foot taller than you. Make sure that you have copies of any threatening messages that he sent you. Get copies of the report from the police. Even if they dont do anything at this time, it will start establishing a papertrail jic you need a future protective order against him.

I wasn't sure if I was understanding your housing situation correctly or not: If you're living with your fiance & his family, make sure the police are immediately called anytime that your brother shows up at their house.

I think you should press charges against your mother if she steals anything else from you. If you can for the current theft, then that'd be good too. You deserve better than people like your mom & brother in your life. Do whatever you need to stay safe & healthy. If that's cutting them off permanently and using the court system, then so be it.

If you're already hiking, then you might want to add plant, insect, or rock identification. You could include some foraging too. If you aren't already familiar with these things, then you'll learn more about the world around you. You can check out or download ID books from the library to use. There's also some good YT channels if you look around.

If you want something a little more involved then you can start sketching what you find or press leaves & make your own local guide.

It was apparent.

Some people like to pick fights and fight imaginary battles with strangers as an outlet bc it's easier than dealing with whatever they can't or won't handle irl.

Very. What's worse is the dad stayed at home.