Am I the asshole for saying that I hope my brother and mother rot in jail and telling them that I don’t consider them family anymore because of the way they treated me? This all happened a little over a month ago. For a little background information, I have a younger brother who is 6 foot 9 inches and is 18 years old. I am a 20 year old female and am only 5 foot 5 inches. I will be 21 this December. When he and I were younger before he had gone to 5 different behavioral facilities, he would constantly abuse me, blackmail me, spread false rumors about me, and threaten me if I didn’t do as he said. Me being the pushover I was, I listened to him. I also barely have friends because of him. He’s also the reason why most of my friends are online especially from Fortnite and Discord. Since then, I have been more confident in myself. Anyways, a little over a month ago I was playing Fortnite Battle Royale solos on my Limited Edition Fortnite Xbox 1S that I had received as a gift from my fiancé’s younger brother, Timothy(not his real name) while my fiancé, Gabriel(not his real name) was watching me play and my brother had called me on messenger. He had introduced me to his new girlfriend Leah(that is not her real name). He also had said that he wanted to see me as I haven’t seen him for over a year. He said that he would put a bullet in the head of anyone who tried to stop him from seeing me. I told him that threatening people would not be a good idea. He also told me if I had a problem with that to get the hell out of his life. Then he proceeded to say that he would kill Gabriel(20M), Timothy(19M), their youngest brother who will be called Max(16M)(not his real name) and their mother(53F) who I’ll call Jessica(not her real name) that he would kill them. I decided to tell my mother (41F) that I’ll call Samantha(again not her real name). She flat out defended him saying that they were keeping me from seeing my family. She also called me a lazy and petty girl who can’t even wash her hair properly(which I can by the way) and told me that I needed to get a job even though my disabilities won’t allow me to hold down a job for very long. I have ADHD, OCD, and PTSD. I’m also autistic and bipolar. My mother is also a liar and a thief. She stole $400 worth of stuff from me which I had bought with graduation money that some family friends of my grandparents had given me and lied to me about it. I had bought a Nintendo Switch and Pokémon: Legends Arceus. She also forced my younger sister (13F) that I will call Emily(not her real name) to block me on Facebook. So I told them that I hope that they get arrested and that they would rot in jail. So am I the asshole for telling them that?
Am I the asshole for telling my mother and brother that I hope they rot in jail?
Solid advice
Not solid advice lol
Better yet, call the police about the death threats then the brother really can rot in jail
This is the answer!
Add to this, report them for past abuse of you and mention the 13 year old to CPS.
NTJ. Move, these people are probably dangerous, and even if they aren’t, they suck.
This is true. This is solid advice!
Block them on every platform and get law enforcement involved since they've threatened you it seems.
Record any calls made and screen shot any text based threats.
They'll rot in jail sooner if you report them. I agree you're not safe, and neither is your fiancé's family. NTA
NTJ
Get away from your blood relatives. They seem to simply want access to you so they can abuse you.
They won't rot in jail unless you go to the police with proof of any crimes.
Death threats definitely count as far as an emergency restraining order goes. If (when) he violates that he can have a free weekend in county lockup with meal service.
Pokémon Legend Arceus - I hope it's not the real name?
It is and I have it 😂.
unfortunately yes it is. I have it and abandoned it XD
It's real and for a lot of people, it's a great game. I can understand why it's not for everyone, but I absolutely loved it and am looking forwards to the next game that they announced.
Yup, that’s the game title
Y’all post the goofiest stuff on here knowing full well you’re not the a-hole or jerk.
For some people growing up in environments like she described, it's also common to be gaslit whenever trying to deal with the situation in appropriate ways. So you grow up questioning your own thoughts, reactions, decisions. For something this big, and since she's got new (hopefully) healthy relationships now, it can be a real mind fuck. Only with seeing mostly universal consensus in agreement while growing away from the toxic ppl do some have the confidence to start trusting themselves.
What the hell did I just read?
Thats what im saying to myself
It sounds like something my sister Jill (not her real name) would have written in fifth grade (not her real grade) if her teacher Mrs Smith (not her real name) had asked her to write the dumbest thing ever.
I (not my real pronoun) have no fucking idea.
A lot of real names.
If the person who wrote this is older than 14 I'll eat my hat
You think a person wrote this? Interesting.
Bots are quite young, actually.
She's 20 (not her real age).
Sounds like y’all need to stay away from each other.
Hold on he said all of that in front of your fiance? They deserve more than being told to rot in jail, they need to be put in jail based on credible threats !
This post is very bot generated fake ADHD, OCD, PTSD, autism and bipolar- seems like someone just chose all the rage bait posts and tried to compile to "digivolve" it into "magna-rage-bait-mon"
Seriously I’m very interested in why and how this was made.
person X (age/gender) who I shall call X (not real name)
Drop variables in.
Lots of weird details too, like the brother's height and what she bought with her graduation money.
Too many jumbled details with all of Reddit's favourite tropes Favourite child Abusive sibling Gaslighting parent Stolen graduation money PTSD ADHD OCD Autism Bipolar
Also, a fiancé at 20 while her friends are all online?
NTJ. Cut them both off your life and call the cops on them if they try any more bs
Pretty sure the Switch can be reported stolen, and if so it will keep the switch from being able to be used online, like a cellphone - they should be able to look up the info from Nintendo customer service if you had registered an account first.
this guy is clearly dangerous and very unwell cut him out of your life and your mother as well go NC with both of them clearly your mum doesn’t care about you enough to see that your own brother is violently threatening you while she enables him. I would suggest getting a restraining order and reporting him to the police
NTJ, but you need to do more than just say those things.
If events transpired as you describe, you have death threats from your brother in writing. Call the police and make sure they know he has a history of violent behavior. Ask for a protection order or whatever the equivalent is.
Then do as your brother suggested and cut contact.
Change your number and completely cut them both off from your life. They are toxic. I hope you are in therapy. You're an adult, nobody is "keeping you from your family".
Why does your mother believe this other family is "keeping" you away from them?
Where do you currently live?
How are you supporting yourself if you're unable to work? Have you started collecting your SSDI/SSI (dunno which it is)?
They definitely sound predatory and your mom and brother seem very similar. Your mom should nurture and protect, you she is doing the opposite. Please move and if you think younger sister is in danger maybe call cps. They will not know who called.
NTJ but let's start googling the phrase "narcissistic family dynamic" because it sounds like the typical narcissistic mother + golden child brother combo tbh
NTA and call the cops regarding the threats. Block everyone
To do list
Record him
Report him
Block them
Man they are toxic. Hope you keep them out for good! On a side note: You have great taste in games. 😎👍
Does anyone written about have a real name? You can always just say that up front, everyone knows they are not real names, and generally, it seems like this sub is for creative writing, and asking for grades on the generally shitty writing.
NTJ but you will be if you don’t show the messages to the police. It’s not appropriate for him to make threats.
"ADHD, OCD, and PTSD" I wonder why? I wonder what OP is not sharing? I bet it gets worse.
She has psycho brother and mother. That’s what happened. She needs to get them out of her life. Get a restraining order if she needs to, and if she’s so much as thinks, she saw them around her home or where she works, she needs to call the police. She has had a death threat.
I have ADHD, Autism, OCD, and PTSD. The only thing I wasn't born with was the PTSD. Your comment really rubbed me the wrong way, like having ADHD, OCD, & autism is some kind of contagious disease to be caught from bad environments.
If this is what you think, please educate yourself, if not and I've taken this entirely wrong, I apologize, have a nice day.
Not trying to dismiss what you’re saying because you do raise a good point but I think in this instance they meant that having PTSD is something that you get from trauma and from living with a brother and mother like that it’s no wonder why she had PTSD and is just curious if they were the reason why she has it.
Unless I completely misunderstood it 😅
F'it I'll say it... Adhd and ocd can be caused by environment as well as genetics. At the very least agrovated by environment. Educate yourself. Prove me wrong. Find a source that says these ailments are 100% always all the time genetics and not environment.
I'd say I struck a nerve. The "i bet it gets worse" comment was a little to close to the mark? Go on then... tell me how it isn't worse. Stick your head further in the sand.
Oh look. Times uo. I stopped caring.
christ, hope you don't care for anything more than grass, even then...
I got the same vibe from this post. I don't know why but I feel like this is either complete bullshit or she is leaving out so much shit. I'm so sick of ppl saying they have adhd and whatever else they can make up so they can't work.... That's funny considering the fact that I work with this kid who has down syndrome and he works his ass off, I noticed you have no problem playing video games all day though. Like cut the shit. Grow up. You can't support yourself but you spend all of your money on Pokémon and video games....you are an adult.
Don't say that too loud though, then you are being abelist. Then the mental illness brigade will be all over ya.
Any time I see "autistic" I'm immediately tune out of their bullshit. Most of the time it's self diagnosed and they use it to blame all their problems on. And the ones who are not self diagnosed are total basket cases that don't need to be interacting with the public.
OCD same sea, different boat. I know people with OCD, it doesn't stop them from getting shit done, like their jobs. But instead they use their self diagnosis to say their quirky or something.
People who are terminally online tend to think they belong to a special group, the auties, the OCD's, those with PTSD. The vast, VAST majority of them have run of the mill, boring mental illnesses that require a bit of counseling and maybe some medication. But that wouldn't make them interesting, and certainly wouldn't let them mooch off some invisible "disability" so they can play Pokemans all day.
It's not about the money being spent on these folks. It's a drop in the bucket compared to anything else the US spends their money on. Quite frankly the amount we do spend is absolutely stupid low. Which makes their fight in trying to suckle from that withered teat even more baffling. It's about being true to yourself and quit being an attention whore.
Yes! Another good point! Most people who have these mental illnesses aren't quick to share that with everyone and anyone that they meet.
My favorite is when you dare to disagree with the person who has OCD or PTSD or whatever else and they start Playing the victim card like you're not allowed to say anything That even remotely resembles you disagreeing or calling BS.
It's like a vicious cycle,I have a mental illness so that means you can't question me, you can't disagree with me, You have to take everything I say as gospel because I have a mental illness.
Yeah I'm sick of it half the time when people say they have a mental illness it's just an excuse for them to lay out the points on why it's perfectly okay that they stay home and play video games all day because they can't work.
Wow, I couldn't of said it better myself! 👏 You hit the nail on the head.
You're right as soon as I read a post and they mention that they are autistic or OCD or PTSD or whatever I immediately think here we go, now you're gonna tell me that's why you don't work and that's why you should be put before others and that's why you don't have to do anything anyone else has to do.
Which is really weird because like you said I know people who have OCD or PTSD or whatever and they seem to hold down a job perfectly fine.
Why did you answer the call? Seriously?
NTA
Your brother sounds like a serious whack job. Don't be afraid of getting help against your family.
i can say you are not wrong for what you said
Depending on where you are, those threats are absolutely actionable... It's illegal to threaten to murder people, after all. Call the police, report it all, get restraining orders and also maybe call the children's protection group in your area because I'm 100% betting Emily is also being abused.
NTJ, make a police report
Hell no. Ntah at all. Your family is toxic and manipulative. Cut all contact immediately. Block them all on any social media any device you own. And warn your fiancé and his extended family. Sounds like you got some serious psycho's on your hands. Please be careful, and good luck.
Wow that’s terrbile
No! excise those cancers from your life!
Slightly off topic, but have you ever heard the country song “You Never Even Called Me by My Name”? I think you might like it.
I agree with what a lot of people are saying you definitely need to block them if, for whatever reason you don't any time you have any typecontact with them. Record it, the police will do stuff about it and I am speaking from experience. That stuff can also help you get a restraining order. Do whatever you can to help your little sister out. As you know what it's like to be under your mother's thumb. It is c*** that she does this stuff and sees nothing wrong with what your brother is doing. My Grandma has blamed my wife for me not being around my dad, but she doesn't want to see the fact that my dad is the one keeping me from him as well. As my stepmom, they never want to see the truth.
Your brother and and mom are phscopaths
NTA. it seems it is not the bf's family keeping you from seeing your "family", but more you family keeping you from seeing your "family".
HmMM... something here is odd.
Your family is so dysfunctional. Get out. Can you move in with your fiancé? Your bro has anger issues & is a bully. Can’t trust him & you know the history.
Has anyone diagnosed your brother?. There is something scary about him. I think you need to stop having anything to do with anyone in your family. Also make sure you have good locks on your home. Talk to the police just as a heads up. In case you ever need to call them they will already know his history.
I didn't go through all the comments cut id you haven't you should report the threats of violence against you and others to the police if you feel they are credible, That is not a way adults speak about others - if they felt people were restricting you from seeing them the threat would be more general i.e. 'no one will stop them from talking to you'. The specifics on persons and methods makes that a threat in my mind and with a history of violence a threat that needs to be reported. Keep up with meds and working on yourself and live your best life low or no contact with your brother and his enabler(s).
I'm a little concerned with how many parallels this has to my own life. Im turning 21 in november, i have an older brother who's 6'8" (not a douche, i love him), my mother is a lying, stealing repeat felon who constantly gaslit me (I was born in jail). I do have an older brother who was mean as hell to me and gave me a few scars, including one on my chin where I bit through my lip because of the force he slammed my head down with. We're fine now but don't talk. Literally last week I bought Legends of Arceus only for my switch to get stolen (and returned). This is scary as hell.
But about the post, nta at all.
Wow how odd! 😳
NTA
I think you should file a police report about your brother's threats. Make sure they know that he's been in & out of behavioral facilities and is over a foot taller than you. Make sure that you have copies of any threatening messages that he sent you. Get copies of the report from the police. Even if they dont do anything at this time, it will start establishing a papertrail jic you need a future protective order against him.
I wasn't sure if I was understanding your housing situation correctly or not: If you're living with your fiance & his family, make sure the police are immediately called anytime that your brother shows up at their house.
I think you should press charges against your mother if she steals anything else from you. If you can for the current theft, then that'd be good too. You deserve better than people like your mom & brother in your life. Do whatever you need to stay safe & healthy. If that's cutting them off permanently and using the court system, then so be it.
Not the asshole, i would even go as far as looking inti gun laws in your region and potentially arming yourself if you feel you need to. My ex stepbrother tried something similar, my mom and stepdad actually got divorced because of him, he showed up drunk, threw my mom throw a china cabinet and my mom had to put 3 in his chest because he was going to... how do i put it without triggering reddit... basically non consensual stuff. Step dad got home 20 minutes after to find my mom crying trying get police/ambulance there, step dad saw his son, my mom told him what happened and he broke her jaw. Cue another bout of shots. Both were admitted to ICU, survived and were nailed with a plethora of charges.
NTJ. Your brother is troubled and your mother is enabling him. If you are able to safely move out now and with other family or your fiancé, I would highly recommend that. If you live in a one party consent state, I’d record all future phone calls with your brother as proof of any threats. If you have anything in writing, I’d take that, along with your fiancé, to the police to get an order of protection against your brother.
NTA. You just made a statement that you wish to have happened because of how poorly they treated you considering them as family. They already had the toxicity in them and you were the one considering to be a bit rational for that case.
Why is nobody asking the biggest question!
Who the hell is Samantha?
block them both
I (not my real name) think that you (not your real name) were good to cut them (not their real name) out of your (not your real name) life
Does anyone have a real name anymore?
Record every future interaction with family.
NTA In fact, you wouldn't be the ah it you called the police yourself.
Nope
TLDR. Paragraphs, please!
Screen shot the threats
NTJ, your family sounda AWFUL. Also, aren't you just extremely paranoid and cautious from this family dynamic that causes your mental issues to either grow stronger or exist? You need to run far away from this household. Get married and gtfo that place.
So wait I'm not sure, those are or are not their real names?
NTA. Your family is Cra-Cra and you need to get as far away from them as possible.
Im sorry idk what it is but this is really hard to read right now
Why are you in contact with them. Go no contact and cut them from your life.
Change your phone number and block them on everything. I know you likely still want to have a relationship with your 13 year old sibling. So in a few years when she is a legal adult you can reconnect with her, without the input/influence of your mother abd brother.
You need to cut these people out immediately or they will continue the harassment. It's not fair, but your fiance's family is now in danger and a part of this. Call the police before your brother seriously hurts someone.
Step 1: pause all contact Step 2: book the soonest appointment you can with a mental health counselor Step 3: discover that your life belongs to you Step 4: live how you dang well want to
NTA! But block them both.
He sounds like he has a severe mental disorder
please please add paragraph breaks and break the text up. the post will be easier to read
This is either made up or there’s a lot more story. OP has a string of alphabet illnesses including OCD but gives the bares. Nope. Not buying it.
Calling names or hurting someone's feelings won't solve anything, if you have anger, hatred, bitterness towards someone your only hurting yourself and it sounds like you've had enough hurt,! forgive them for all the hurtfull and painfully things they have done to you and set your heart and mind free. Holding hatefull and negative thoughts will only destroy yourself it's not hurting them we only have to answer for ourselves now you know how you don't want to become! Let all that garbage go!
YTJ
NTJ, I am deeply sorry to hear this, I recommend reporting this to the police and/or get a restraining order, or additionally, call the national domestic violence hotline (1-800-799-7233)
Cut your mother and brother out of your life.
And report your brother's threats to the police. Your fiance is a witness.
Also, give your fiance's family the heads-up to beware a 6'9" man.