Do her trees shuck off their leaves every night? Why so obsessed?

I used to have a bus driver who said zubaz were for big guys that could kick ass.

He graduated from my high school one year before I started attending.

Blackberry bushes? They might not like hopping over a fence into a thorn bush.

When she said that it's a sign from God I immediately pictured them in little Blues Brothers outfits.

A harmless bit of revenge and no one gets hurt. Sometimes small victories are all that's needed.

Put your hand up in the 'just a minute' gesture without looking at them.

She thinks that her information is somehow going to be transferred to the card to be stolen by the government.

Melania is a reptoid. Proof: She shares the same eyes as Randall from Monsters Inc.

I feel like I just read a book of David Sedaris stories. I can't breath I'm laughing.

Thankfully my relative is distracted with a brand new grand daughter.

But the instructions on the box say I can go swimming, horseback riding, and mow lawns.

Fun Fact: that was Barbara Billingsley AKA June Cleaver from Leave It To Beaver.

Electric shock transmitter. Like a bark collar.