Abilify is an antipsychotic, and you’re right. It is a strong medication with risks. My husband was prescribed it for autism and after we researched and talked about the medication he decided to stop taking it and found a new provider.

Just remember, while he’s prescribing it, it’s your choice if you want to take it. You can always tell him at your next visit that you’re not comfortable, or you can find a different psychiatrist if you’re more comfortable. It is very important to feel heard and understood, and if you feel your anxiety or depression isn’t under control maybe ask if you can focus on that. Also I saw three other psychiatrists before I found my current psychiatrist and she’s a great fit!

I think I struggle the most with executive dysfunction, emotional regulation, hyper focusing then burning out, concentration issues, time blindness, and organization and messiness. I still lose things sometimes and I do forget things but they aren’t my worst symptoms.

I struggle with imposter syndrome, but your diagnosis is definitely valid. You might not experience every single symptom.

I noticed the first day. Started at 30 mg and I was surprised at just how calm I was. Motivated, organized, focused. I’ve gone up to 40 mg and I’ve been on it for 6 months now.

Don’t worry about your comment being long, trust me I always worry about the same thing!

I also usually never get invited out either. At my current office job, my coworkers said a while ago that they don’t get too close to people anymore because of the high turnover rate. That stung because I saw they had formed cliques and I was frequently left out, for example all grabbing lunch together but not bothering to ask me if I’d like to go too. I’ve gotten a bit closer to them over time, but I felt pretty hurt when I found out that they all stayed in contact with someone who left a few months ago who hadn’t been there that long. I felt lied to.

It sounds like you did great at your job! Honestly asking about students interests and skills makes sense, you want them their interests to align with their major. I also don’t see how you could help students if you were cold and indifferent? If they expected something they should have given you specific guidelines otherwise it’s your job to decide how to connect with students.

I don’t know what I do wrong honestly though, so I guess I’m at a loss. I’m a woman and sometimes I don’t know if I just miss out on how im supposed to act around other women. It’s pretty hit or miss for me. People at work don’t share my hobbies (everyone talks a lot) such as video games, anime, certain genres of music, sci-fi, etc. I let them talk and guide the conversation but I’m bad at trying to keep them going myself. Why can’t things just be easy, lol?

I currently take Vyvanse for adhd which has been incredibly helpful. I have binge eating disorder too and it really helps with that which is such a relief. I also take meds for depression.

Executive dysfunction is a huge problem for me. I’ve always struggled with keeping a job too. In the past the max I’ve kept a job is a year, I usually start excited, motivated, and am an over achiever. Then that wears off, executive dysfunction kicks in, I become forgetful, anxious, emotional, and can’t hold it together and completely burn out and quit. For the first time ever I’m holding down a job and I believe that is because I am medicated. I will say I still struggle with chores and emotions though sometimes.

I have always struggled with friendships and feeling lonely. My coworkers don’t always really get me and sometimes I’m an outsider but not always. I’m accepting I am weird, which helps. I don’t have a ton of people in my life which gets me down, but pretty much all of them are ND. I do struggle with wanting to spend time with people but then feeling anxious when I do and just wanting to go home because I’m overstimulated.

I am trying to find a therapist for adhd/autism/neurodivergent people but I’m not having any luck. But again meds help so much, they are life changing. Also making the right friends help, whether they are ND or NT just people who you don’t have to mask around and they accept you and love you. That’s super important.

Yes, at times it gets very hard. When I was younger (child to early twenties) I struggled but my mother picked up the pieces for me and supported me a lot. My symptoms weren’t nearly as bad when I lived at home.

I’m in my early 30’s now and I’m only making it because I’m medicated for my adhd. But before I’d only ever make it a year at a job. It gets so stressful. Symptoms really start to show when life demands more and when we have less support around us.

I know how you feel, seeing how everyone effortlessly manages life while you feel like you’re drowning. Are you able to get accommodations? Also, does your school offer counseling? You could also look into tutoring or study groups if you happen to be interested. Medication for the adhd can help a lot too (sorry for all the recommendations, not sure if that’s what you’re looking for).

I’m so sorry ❤️

I used alcohol to cope for years. I also have always struggled with sugar addiction and BED. I stopped drinking when I started taking depression meds and I felt super sick no matter how little I drank. The only thing that helps my BED so far is meds.

It also might help to get to the source of why you are doing it, as in are you filling a void, depressed, avoiding something, using it to cope, or is this simply something truly fun for you?

If you haven’t, you might want to start by talking to your PCP. If needed, a psychiatrist can help too if you’d like to try meds for mental health or BED.

I have to do this too. Be proud of yourself!! You got so much done! With adhd we have to do what we need to do. We learn hacks to deal with it. You are doing great!

This is awesome!! What a win. I love to hear that you are feeling more comfortable being yourself. I think that it can be an awful, vicious cycle that can cripple self esteem when we have to mask. Because we believe we are truly unlikable and unlovable but also hate that we have to be someone else around others. So this is awesome!!

I am new to these subs, my husband is both adhd and autistic, I am dx adhd as of last year in my early 30’s and am now curious if I am autistic…the more I frequent these subs, the more I learn and the more I accept myself the happier I become.

I 100% relate to being a walking contradiction. In my 20’s I struggled with so much but thought I couldn’t have adhd, it just never “fit”, but yet I still related. I have never made friends easily, even now in my workplace when I try to tell stories or jokes people tilt their heads in confusion, or laugh half heartedly. I don’t understand their dynamics or always pick up on sarcasm or the subtleties that everyone else does.

I think at this point I am just accepting I am “weird” maybe, but that’s okay. Looking back all my life the people I have made friends with or clicked with have definitely been ND. They get me. It’s truly the best feeling to be yourself and be understood, you can speak your own secret language and others don’t look at you like you have 2 heads.

Anyways again, I’m happy for you. I think the best part for me is understanding why. And now that I understand I feel free.

As a child: sensitive and overly emotional, intelligent, skilled in reading and writing, struggled to make friends, kind, annoying and clingy, did not turn in homework regularly or seem to understand math, quiet and shy.

As a teen: mature, an old soul, respectful, smart but didn’t always apply self, inconsistent quality homework/papers/projects, moody and emotional, irresponsible.

I’m sorry to hear that. Are you able to find a happy medium? That’s why I try to do. I also try to adapt myself depending on who I’m around.

Essentially, a lot of the time I try to be a toned down version of myself. At work most people don’t share my interests so I just ask people about their day/weekend and a lot of people like to talk about themselves so I listen. I love animals and most people do too so that’s easy. I focus on my work mostly and I know everyone sees me as a bit odd but there’s nothing I can do. I don’t have to mask around my husband. I do around family but not to a huge extreme.

I’m not sure my comment is helpful so far so I’m sorry, if you’re comfortable sharing what are you struggling with in particular?

I also wear leggings, they are so much better in the winter too. I also struggle with tights. Plus if you wear leggings you have the option of fleece lined!

I have felt a lot of shame during my lifetime. Shame that sometimes during my weekends I need to recharge from work while my coworkers recount all of the things they did. Shame that I am so messy and family and friends haven’t understood that. Shame that my emotions sometimes get the best of me, that I feel left out and don’t make friends as easily as others, that I feel weird and like an outsider.

It has impacted my self esteem. But it has also taken me down the road of self acceptance. We see more characters in tv and movies that are different and I love and appreciate that and connect with them. I know I also have a great deal of empathy for others and I feel my emotions and I live how I know how to.

So, despite my flaws, I am how I am. I can live in shame, I am be sad, or I can live authentically and accept that other people will judge me or not like me and then other people will relate to me or see my good qualities. It’s not always easy but it’s important to give yourself grace and accept your flaws as part of who you are. At least that’s what I try to do!

I’m sorry to hear this, and I wanted to comment to let you know I relate. I experienced a lot of trauma at 18 and I have been stuck mentally since, and I feel I never even moved on from the year. I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone, and I hope things get better for you.

A friend of mine went through something somewhat similar. It got nasty. It involved a lot of cheating and lies. They became very on and off near the end, she kept changing her mind and lying about there being someone else. She kept leaving him without notice and refusing to communicate but her and her affair partner were very on and off too.

It wasn’t until her affair partner was willing to stay together that she left him for good. She then told everyone he was abusive, tried to take out a restraining order, and tried to squeeze everything she could out of him during the divorce. She wanted him to pay for her new apartment (which she was sharing with the affair partner), alimony, she wanted all of his 401k…it went on and on.

I’m not saying your wife would do anything like this, but your situation reminds me a bit of what I watched my friend go through. You may want to get a lawyer sooner rather than later, because she cheated and now wants your support, so it sounds like she’s manipulative. You never know what people may do.

I think the problem is that many people have very high expectations for live performances these days. This encourages the use of autotune, layer vocals, effects, etc. I think it shows a good amount of courage and confidence when a vocalist goes without and embraces any human moments.

I always thought she was a great singer. And if you’re singing live all the time it can definitely wear on your voice, even if you do everything right.

I understand. I haven’t left for many reasons, but a big hurdle is the fact that apartments are so expensive and I could never afford one on my own. And I do not want to move back to my parents home as a woman in my 30’s. Roommates are something to consider if you find that a reasonable option.

As others have said, majorly focus on yourself. Love yourself deeply, allow yourself to grieve. Confide in loved ones, a therapist, and continue to share your story.

Start to detach by trying not to view each act of engaging in his addiction as a personal attack on you. If he wants to do it and he’s not trying to stop, then does he deserve you? He’s missing out on life, majorly. Most likely not living in the moment, sacrificing his time that he could use to nurture his relationship with you and loved ones.

It is incredibly painful to deal with this. It is not easy to start over and it is scary. But you know what is best and when the time is right and you have enough support, you can leave.

Anger is so normal. And I think it’s okay to be pessimistic. Honestly, I would only show cautious optimism if he was putting in the effort. I’m not sure how long you’ve been dealing with this, but it is very easy to believe them because they are used to lying and do it with ease.

Definitely take care of yourself and try not to get lost in the cycle of ups and downs. I think providing him support is probably only really doable once you’re both somewhat into recovery. If he’s not actually trying to recover then you may experience many more d-days and disappointments which will continue to traumatize you and anger you.

I know all of this sucks but you matter and don’t let his issue take over your world. It’s not all about him. I’ve made so many mistakes on this path and I just hope that you give yourself love and grace.

This is beautiful.

I'm so glad you're putting yourself first. I know it must be so so difficult and I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling.

If he decides to walk away from your relationship over this, then he will likely never change. So even though it will be so difficult and painful, you won't have to live in limbo and you can heal. Just remember you deserve to be loved and treated well.

That's exactly how I feel.

You're right. I need to remember this and stop giving in.

First of all, you are 19 and you have been with your boyfriend for only 8 months. He already has shown himself to be a liar and that he is more interested in porn than any form of interaction with his real, alive, breathing girlfriend.

Please don't put up with this. I encourage you to break it off. None of this is your fault, he has a problem and it has nothing to do with your looks. You are so young and therefore vulnerable to an unhealthy relationship and manipulation and potential abuse.

Putting up with this behavior leads to low self esteem and acceptance of this kind of treatment. Now is the time to be discovering yourself, learning to love yourself and stand up for yourself, and to develop healthy habits and relationships. That will be a foundation for your life as you move more into adulthood that will allow you to respect yourself and set up healthy boundaries. It is a very bad idea to stay in a relationship with someone with such big issues when you are so young. You truly deserve better.