For me, I never thought I’d get tired of thrill rides at theme parks. But now my tolerance and interest wanes after 1-2 roller coasters, when 5 years ago, I could go all day.
What is a surprising thing about adulthood that you did not expect to experience?
How much more sleep I require and how difficult it is to get that sleep.
And how much less restorative sleep is. Used to be if I was "behind" on sleep, I could make it up. But now if I sleep too long, I get cricks & pains I didn't have when I laid down to sleep..!
I'm nursing my sore neck that I got from getting too much sleep 😞 wtf 🤷♀️
Yeah. I read these things that say the older you get the less sleep you need and I just don't buy it haha
Happened to me, unfortunately. I’m good for 5-6 hours a night. My husband thinks I should just go to bed early, but then I’m up at 4 am. Do I just lie here for two more hours? My bladder says no. Happened to my mom too, so it’s not unexpected.
Agree, having to wake up to pee drives me crazy. Would love to sleep through the night
Yes!! After having three babies standing on my bladder I miss a pee free night
Yeah, I haven't taken naps since I was a baby. Now I love naps!
Yes
Going to bed at 8:00 and not drinking much anymore because it messes with my sleep.
My tolerance for putting up with people's excuses has gone way down.
Yeah, words vs action is black and white.
Yup. This thing for me for sure. Like I used to get so hung up on meaning, what they meant, what they were thinking, etc etc.
As an adult now, it's about what you do and what you say.
How often friends come in/out of your life. Some friends are there for a long time, some are there for a few months
Everyone starts dying.
Over the years...
friends get married move away or you move away
have kids or you have kids
and yeah im over 40 and now I have dozens of deceased :
classmates friends co-workers partners family and pets
it sucks
My collection of loved ones’ ashes is growing way too fast for my comfort at 42 trips around the sun.
Yep. I lost 5 people in the span of 2.5 years. And then recently 2 more people last year. People who have died before their time. I'm only 30.
and at some point, you're the one who has to bury them.
I was literally in this thread to say the same thing.
My parents go to a funeral about 3 times a year. I buried my wife, multiple friends have died and I now have a circle of widows I talk with.
Death sucks.
I’m in my 30’s and have lost both of my parents and countless friends and other family. Life is precious and I want to strive to be better everyday and every minute for them and for me and those still here. As terrible as it is, it seems there is something about death that has made me want to live better. Like Ghandi said, I strive to be the change I want to see in the world.
I’m 29 and am definitely not prepared for this.
:(
So true. Two school friends died this week alone. I can’t shake the feeling that my number is coming up fast.
My achy brakey back
Loved this. And my KNEES?
Snap crackle pop, my crisp knees
Definitely knees. Just crouching down to check lower shelves at stores is enough to feel the burning.
This might be due to my undiagnosed depression lol but not talking to anybody for days isn't that bad.
That, at 60+ y/o, I still tend to think of myself as the dork I was at 20 and that the perception I have of myself is so very different from the old dude everybody who encounters me today sees/experiences.
Wow I never thought about it that way
How our calendars work and how many holidays and bdays there are. It’s super expensive
Almost by design to have some nonsensical holiday every month im guilt tripped into buying bullcrap for
I started ignoring all that crap now. Try it out. Don't bother with the social norms anymore.
Me too, I just don't have enough money. I tell people never to buy me anything, I don't want more stuff. Getting together on occasion and simply spending time is all I care about.
Yea, be vocal about not participating in that crap. That way the family doesn't take it the wrong way
My sister and cousins are getting children so suddenly there's at least two birthdays per month. I feel like there is never a break where I can save some extra money
Wanting to be a kid again
I stopped playing computer games. I used to be able to play all weekend. Now it seems boring and I want to do other things.
Exactly this. I was an rpg guy. Now I just don't enjoy the long hours playing anymore. Started looking to more productive entertainment. Decided to try a learn German recently. I've found it far more entertaining so far.
That's dope. I've been wanting to do the same.
Use the duolingo app. They make it very easy to learn.
What do you do now?
There just doesn’t seem enough time. Work all day then fix dinner. Watch a little tv then go to bed. Weekends spent doing stuff around the house, visiting family, shopping, sometimes a trip out. Cooking meal prep for the week. No time to get immersed in a great game.
I have the time for it but just lack whatever I had in my youth that made those games so immersive and addictive. I really miss that feeling. Whenever I try to recapture it though I find myself getting bored or lonely in the game pretty quickly. Seems like as the brain ages it craves other types of stimulation.
I think the lonely aspect is a larger part than we realise. A big part of it was the social aspect. Both with the friends online, but also having family at home.
Gaming alone in your apartment with no friends online or family in the house is kind of depressing. Couple that with the fact that one craves a closer partner relationship as they get older, gaming doesn’t fill that void as well.
This!! My now husband and I met because of gaming. I don't even have my own PC anymore :(;
Unhappiness
Everyday I see no reason to live
Literally only remain here to help my parents, who are 80 and 81 years old.
My cats and my parents are my reason
My tolerance to alcohol is not what it used to be.😭
Same .... but isn't that a good thing? You get there cheaper now.
Debilitating mental illness in my mid-30s.
Relatable
Loving naps!!!! I sleep like it's my job
Too hot outside right now. Walk the dogs, shelter in the AC until sundown.
Work all week, chores on weekend, rinse repeat.
Losing a parent before they grew old
I hear that brother 😔💔 my mum won’t ever see me get married
Sister*
Im so sorry to hear that 💔
There’s so much my dad has missed and is going to miss and so many more memories we were supposed to make together before he left this world
Sorry to misgender, I call everyone brother 🙈
No worries at all! I have a boy’s name IRL so I’m used to it anyway
That’s quite cool though:) Hope you’re doing well ( just realised I never shared my condolences for your own loss)
If it’s any consolation, I felt exactly that same way at 30. I was hopeless and sure I would never be happy. Forever alone. I met my now-husband a year later. Please don’t give up.
I read that and then spit my coffee out when you said you’re 30 LOL I was expecting 50! Your life hasn’t even begun yet. You’ve been an adult for 9 years out of a possible 70+ years and you’re quitting finding love? That’s crazy talk. You guys will be living to 120 years old the way tech is advancing.
120 years of this? Pls no
I'm 51 and can say at least my own experience has been that life seems to happen in about five year increments. My life has either drastically, or slowly but surely, changed about every five years. Whether that's a new job, new social situations, new outlooks on life.
I’m 54 and you’re exactly right! I wish the kids would trust us when we say, 30 is only the beginning. They’ve got so much to look forward to and they don’t realise it.
100%. It does seem almost like a no win scenario giving advice to younger people. I know when I was in my 30s I needed to hear it while simultaneously rebellious and cocky enough to dismiss it. It was very confusing. Lol.
And when I was 30 I wholly believed I was an adult in mind, body, and spirit. Who are these farts trying to tell me "It gets better"?
Guess what. It got better. I was an ass. Lol.
Maybe it’s because I was married with a mortgage at 23 but I’ve always been aware that life is too short but I am an eternal optimist! Lol it makes me sad that young people feel so disheartened these days, it’s not right. The boomers really do need to fix the economy.
Thank you. I really needed to hear this. Have finally started getting my life together and have been struggling with the feeling that I did it too late.
I’m so glad!! It really hurts my heart to hear young people so disheartened. I promise promise promise that it’s never too late! My father didn’t get married and have kids until he was 40 and was married for 40 years. He only died at 80 because he was a big drinker and punished his liver, otherwise he’d still be happily married. Good luck, you got this!
I was taking you seriously until you said you're 30. You're way too young to have that attitude.
Yeah I was perpetually single too, until I met my partner at 33. It can and it will happen but you do have to keep trying.
You're quite young to be thinking that way.
Probably not what you want to hear, but maybe work on "tolerating" people? Look at their good attributes instead of focusing on how much everyone sucks all the time?
Bright days ahead. I'm just 22 and feel these exact things. yay.
I met my husband when I was 38. I had other relationships over the years, but didn't meet anyone I wanted around for life until I was almost 40. You have plenty of time. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to find a romantic partner - force yourself to go out and try new things, volunteer, join a league or club, etc.
You’re still basically a grown child… life is just starting.
Take the question back OP, the answers are too depressing!
How boring most people get because they think that’s ’what they’re supposed to do’.
Half the people in this fucking thread.
Life is what you make it and yes you have responsibilities and shit but find joy. Like I reddit really full of the saddest bastards on earth? "I'll never find love" "it is so hard to get up and do the things". Wise up.
When it comes to my friends it seems that they think that just because they have a partner they can't have friends any more. I think they think it's supposed to be like that.
I get it if you have kids, but if you don't there's no reason not to have time for friends at least one day of the year
Im probably never going to be loved like i see others being loved.
You won't with that attitude.
If i dont text anyone. Nobody texts me. I live alone. If i died right now, it’d be a week before anyone found me. Nobody gives a fuck about me. At least if the do they dont show me. What am i supposed to think??What attitude am i supposed to have??? Fuckin hard being positive when nobody is around to see it.
I worked labor and delivery in the USAF. I was very amused and surprised when I counted the years and realized those newborns are the right age to be grandparents.
I did not expect to outlive most of my graduating HS class, or on Facebook to see my young puke buddies in the military were old or dead.
That escalators were never actually dangerously close to chewing my legs off. I was sure every trip to the mall would lead to a complimentary amputation. Still hesitate to get on them at 30 it’s so deep rooted. 🥴
Ok yes but once when I was a kid my shoelace got stuck in one and I still check my shoes before getting on one now!
How lonely it is.
Have you made friends with loneliness?
Knowing there is a ceiling for how much change/good you can bring in the world. When you were a child you thought you could do anything/change the world.
That there's a good chance that one day I'll hit the age when my dad passed away and I'll keep aging.
I’m there now (39). Very strange. Bittersweet. I have no idea how my mom raised two young kids alone at this age.
I became like my parents. Anything the gvt say - Ah, thats bullshit because... Supermarket shopping - jeez that's got smaller... Fuel prices - holy shit HOW MUCH?!.... Switch the lights off, shut the door, pick up your rubbish, don't leave the taps running, don't touch that thermostat, who is on the Internet I can see a device called "----" is logged on, who's left all this crap in the kitchen, hurry up in the shower etc etc...
How goddamn expensive curtains and rugs are
My knees hurt.
Load of responsibilities in no time
My balls quadrupoled but my dick shrunk. Then grew back but out to the side. I style My pubes like Trumps hairpiece
I genuinely said to my gf the other day that my balls are defo more saggy than they were in my 20s. I'm 37 now.
Bro! 37 club!
And dang if that bowl water isn't soooo cold.
How the difficulty level seems to get bumped up, year after year. Expecting to get a phone call every day that one of my parents has died. Knowing that at I'm at an age where, if I get laid off, it will be virtually impossible to find equivalent employment, let alone equal pay and benefits.
I didn't expect to be heartbroken everytime I leave my parents, even though I couldn't wait to leave home. Still my opinions and lifestyle have no common point with them, still sometimes we have huge fights, however at the end of the day when i need to leave my heart breaks a little. I thought these feelings wont be here when i become an adult. But no :(
Making as much money as my parents did but not being able to afford the same kind of life style they did. I have zero kids and they had 6. I’ll never be able to afford the size house they did at the same price I bought my own house that’s 1/4 of the size in the same county. It’s wild asf.
My dad said becoming worried of hurting homself
How everyone seems depressed and tired yet I finally have the best time of my life, playing games, reading, watching stuff, researching the lore and background of settings I like.
Also not having energy to debate stuff online. Too many people, too little time.
Some people never grow up and are still incredibly immature. Seeing people do the same shit they did when they were younger, 20 years later amazes me.
This is probably a good thing. But there’s a stereotype that as men age, they keep lusting after the young and the gorgeous, while they cease to find people on their own age bracket hot and sexually appealing. And that men of a certain age were doomed to be that creepy older man chasing after the young 20-something.
I certainly believed, when I was in my own 20s, that this was an inevitability for all men, including myself.
But actually, if anything, the age bracket at which I still find people sexy and attractive has gone way up at the older end, and conversely, even though I’m only in my mid 30s, to me, anyone UNDER the age of approx 25, and my mind just goes “meh, pass!”
I stopped doing meth, weed and drinking.
Really didn't see that coming as an adult (started at 10 years old). Everyone thought I was on course to die still doing it to the end.
In fact, part of why I quit was to make those jerks wrong. 😄
Good job quitting! Today is actually my 5 year sober date! It feels good to have made it this far and to know I am still alive and doing the right things. Something Id likely have missed out on if I kept using because I was on a fast track to OD'ing or ending up with an infection my body couldnt fight.
How boring and repetitive it is
Travelling is my hobby. Very expensive so it's only like 5 trips per year. These are honestly what I live for. I work, sleep, repeat a couple of months just for that one week of having fun. Then repeat.
On Thursday next week I'm going to Prague to visit some friends. It will be amazing for a week, then a couple of months of the same
Having to raise children & care for parents in decline simultaneously. Never imagined that scenario, ever!
I’m only 26 and I’ve put my body through so much shit that you can hear joints popping and cracking from each movement. Never in my life did I expect to already feel pain and suffering in my mid 20’s. When I was younger, I never thought I would end up in the military and would even give construction a try. But here we are ;p
Occasionally, I actually would rather do something other than play video games. Still surprises me every time.
I didn’t expect everything to hurt so soon. I’m 54
Everything being so serious. Thought everything was going to be partying and drinking…but there is bills here too!
Sleep. Before kids, I could sleep for 8 hours and later have a 2 hour nap. I loved to sleep. My first is autistic and was a bad sleeper. I slept more in his bed than my own. My second has ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder and never slept as a baby. Literally would take a few 25-45 minute naps. He would sleep maybe a total of 4 hours in a 24 hour period. He almost killed us. I've never been able to get quality, restorative sleep since 2012. Now I'm in perimenopause so hot flashes and night sweats are waking me.
As a kid i took happiness for granted. I did not expect that i would be unhappy or suicidal at some point in my life When i heard of suicide, kid me would wonder why and how a person can do that to themselves. Im doing better now but i still wonder what my place on this floating rock is.
Continued dopey pervasive behavior from peers. Thought that was done when school was done. Nope. And thinking back, there were peers in high school whose behavior resembled sociopaths, narcissists, abusive people, pathological liars, cult leaders, and more. Some seemed more like child behavior, while others seemed very adult-like. Guess it will always be around.
Being single and no friends is the best life
Sex
I’m surprised that not giving af has come full circle.
Young: hate following the rules, I’m a free spirit. Mid 20’s: now the enforcer of the rules. Late 30’s: I am not getting involved, do whatever.
I still feel like a kid to some degree, and most people still behave like they're in high school. I'm 29, for the record.
For me it's definitely liking and wanting things that I normally wouldn't. I remember asking for a pomegranate press for Christmas and then immediately realizing "oh, I'm getting old" and the crazy part is that I'm only 22 years old.
Few are a master of their craft.
How little I care about having friends/how fast I outgrew them when I had kids.
Didn't expect my friends to become so tired and broken.
Good gosh they're boring now.
How fast I got to age 70.
I never expected to take up smoking weed in my 40’s but here we are, 14 years later LOL I wished I’d taken it up sooner. It beats alcohol, painkillers and benzos, hands down.
The trauma.
The pain and grief of losing loved ones - parents, siblings, granparents, etc and watching your spouse go through it as well.
I actually thought (for some reason) it’d be super easy to make friends as an adult but the reality was very harsh.
Idc about having them now but gees when I wanted friends it was tough.
I never thought that I would be working most of my time.
The melatonin gummies my parents gave me as a kid were just used to knock me out so they could have sex without interruption, not because I had a sleeping problem. I now have a sleeping problem.
When I was about 13 and started growing hair on my face, (yeah I'm male lol), I thought "Wow I'm a man now" and was rapt that I could now start to shave. 50 years later I can assure you that for the last 45 years shaving has simply been nothing but a P.I.T.A lol...........
I loved Trampoline Week back in the Elementary school Gym. My son bought one for his kids. I was so excited until I realized my old body didn't take that downstroke so well anymore...
I have two extremes almost. I either have a very confident on the ball witty fast paced in my grove theme or I’m a mess kind of emotionally and lost and feel like I lack all skills for life.
i don’t eat nearly as much candy as i thought I would
How I can stay up as late as I want, but don’t want to!😀
As a child I thought adults had all the answers... They do not.
Reaching 48 and still waiting for my life to begin properly.
Most people have zero capacity for growth or change; it's shocking to me how many people would prefer for their lives to burn around them than make minor changes to their behavior or habits, I guess I thought that was something adults did but I was wrong.
That rarely do people actually use their logic to solve things
I get now why people are constantly stressed, angry, annoyed, drinking, have vices. Life can really be mundane and just blah
Search for Eternal mental peace and motivation to stay happy
The amount of fks that I don't give aged well into my adult years. Mind your business, it saves a lot of energy.
I don’t feel any different in my mind and soul as I age.
My parents never really fought or argued around me so I thought marriage would be easy lol
How hard it is to lose weight after 50
How hard it is to 'make it' financially
How fun it is(no sarcasm)
that you begin to build up the courage to enforce boundaries and refuse to tolerate bad behavior from others. well, at least for me. i’ve got friends who have yet to work on themselves despite our same ages
I can’t do the rides at amusement parks anymore😞
Enjoying silence
Its exhausting.
When I was younger, i use to devour books. I would read all the time. Now, If i read one book a year, it's a lot. Often when I try I fall asleep after a few pages, or I have to constantly go back and re-read pages or entire chapters because my mind wandered.
.
i always thought having kids would be easy. its not… not for me.
The deaths of my daughter and husband.
That I can count my true friends on one hand.
Responsibility
I did not expect to get fired for something I didn't do. I also thought of the work place was a meritocracy. Turns out the guy who pushed his work on me to brown nose the boss gets the promotion.
Having an absolute meltdown over nothing. I thought my emotions would be more in check. I don’t remember seeing my parents cry in the closet
That I would rather be alone , can’t stand people bitching all the time and sleeping
Many companies don't pay a living wage The fact that McDonald's told employees to get a 3nd job to support themselves
Companies try to take retirement away from.long time employees
Companies not posting open positions because they either didn't want a certain group or sex applying for the job
Companies not paying females and non-whites tge same pay as white men.
Companies expect loyalty without giving loyalty back to their employees
Some companies bounce their employees check
I'll add more
The friend group disintegrates in favor of heterosexual partnerships faster than you'd think.
I’m 56 and I always sorta assumed that I’d all broken down by now. In reality, I feel fine. 🤞
I fell a few years ago and messed my knee up pretty good (no bone damage) now, anytime I bump that knee (edge of the bed, a drawer, etc) I'm in pain for DAYS.
I fell a couple days ago on a boat, hit my knee on the bench and now I can't feel this area right below my kneecap.
On vacation in the DR, so have to wait to get home to see the doctor about it.
Loneliness. People start families, move away, have to maintain their houses, etc etc etc. I see my best friend like 2 times a year - when we hang out it's like no time had passed, but it would be great to see people a lot more often.
The never ending washing up.
Fear of life immediately preceding death rather than death itself. After watching my parents, who were both of sound mind and body, deteriorate you realize the importance of quality of life.
Hurting all the time
Tired all the time
Mad all the time
In bed early all the time
Get stomach issues all the time
Annoyed all the time
Stressed all the time, just to name a few lol
At 43 I expected to feel older but I still feel young. Expected to be bald and fat but still have the same body and hair I’ve always had. A lot of friends complain about feeling older and I pretend to agree with them, but honestly most the time I don’t feel any different. Not saying I look like a kid, because I’m sure I look close to my age upon close inspection, but at 20 I thought 43 was ancient.
How some poor choices affect the rest of your life. Some things are irreparable.
That I would get tired of going out to bars and clubs. Now I'm in bed by 10pm on Friday and Saturday and enjoy it so much.
I didn't know that the natural fatigue you get as you age, I'm 51, would be an absolute game changer for my anxiety and personal well being.
I just don't have the energy to burn on needless anxieties like I did when I was younger. Not that I am being of light floating above everyone, free from all anxiety, but I am so much more comfortable in my own skin than I ever was in my 20s, 30s, and 40s.
That even though I'm in my 40s I still feel like I'm a teenager and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I have no degree so I'll be an assistant manager until the day I die I guess.
I didn't think my joints would be this achy this early on. I'm not quite 30 and my back, feet, and knees are already not what they used to be.
I've started doing the sigh, when I get up or sit down. I swear it's involuntary.
I did NOT expect the level of stupid I encounter on a daily basis
Nobody warned me about how much people hate women and are verbally sexist. I had no idea they hated us so much when I was a kid
I feel like bills is one thing that adults always complain about and you never fully comprehend how shitty they are until you have to pay them. I'm only 18 and I already absolutely dread bills 😭
Peace. My entire childhood was chaos (alcoholic parents and violence). My 20s were chaotic (I picked “comfortable” friends who also had drug and alcohol problems.) I’m now in my mid 30s and solitude becomes a lot less lonely, and begins to feel like true peace
How little I care what ppl think about me.
Took awhile, but I don’t dress, drive, drink or do anything to impress others.
I drive Toyotas cuz they don’t break, I wear shorts to work cuz it’s hot. I stopped hooch years ago. I live like an old man and don’t spend my money on stupid vapid shit.
I’m also learning to appreciate nature more.
Feeling broke when I make $125k/yr.
How much I would enjoy and prefer being alone
I don’t enjoy “hang outs” with friends anymore. Im fine grabbing a meal but after spending 5 days working, I want to spend the next two resting and getting things around the house done. Sigh. I’m also 30 so maybe my age too? lol.
The way millennials treat me like I'm running as late in my development as my abusive bio-dad wanted me to believe. The way they can't understand that I can do what I say I can do. The way they shuffled me off to the side because I am older than they are.
Outgrowing lifelong friends. Not caring about receiving gifts anymore.
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