Historical events, as described by a six year old:
(in a British accent) "look mommy, there's a plane up in the sky"
You need some education. And a little thought control.
Hey teacher! Leave them kids alone!
Your fat psychopathic wife must trash you within inches of your life..
Have you ever listened to Pink Floyd, The Wall?
That is what MetalHeart08 was referring to. I confess I referenced the wrong track on the album, but the album itself kind of runs all together as one stream of thought. Listen to it in order wearing headphones or earbuds. It will blow your mind. 🧠 💥 You’ll think helicopters are flying around you and The Wall is crashing down on your head. Pink Floyd really used the whole stereophonic effect to create a masterpiece.
You’re the dingus. (Proud to be on the Boomer Cusp. We had all the good music)
My God I feel like a dingus now. Thank you great sage.
What’s the plural for dingus ❓
Did did did did you see the frightened ones?
1943 brottish mother in London: "My God billy get to the shelt... Billy? BILLYYY!!?!"
Billy: Imma give that big angel a hug! 😁
Luftwaf pilot: ah ze little child sinks I am ze angel. I shall show him one soon
Churchill: the fuck he say?
Rhembrandt: ooooooh sheet
Einstein 1943: holdup I got it
Japan: FUCK MY EYES AHHHH
America: hehe murica
Britain: fuck sake mate...
Also America: WE WERE STAYING OUT OF IT AND THEY MADE US INVENT SPAM FOR HAWAII!!!
Japan: we now claim spam as a cultural food
Hawaii: nah foo that shits ours know stupid little can't fly upright slit eye motha---
Germany: holy shit tf is going on????
Russia: Hello comrade 😈
Germany: shyze....
Peace among the world once again. Don't make us invent immortal ham product god damnit 😂
What is War?
It’s when I don’t like somebody’s parents, and then I get you and your friends to beat up their kids.
Best description of war ever!
Man doesn’t keep self in his pants. Invents divorce and chops off ladies heads
Explosion go boom Super Mario cloud over place with red sun on flag
I got stay at home with mommy and play all day whilst she was working at kitchen table. She complained about not having enough butt paper and we had to wear masks around grandpa and grandma so they could live. But they died soon after anyways. 🤓 Sorry for sneezing in your faces.
"And then, we all rushed into the great big huge house, which was awesome because it was so cold in October, and Daddy says we totally kicked the Czars butt, and then we all got this tasty food, and I got this new coat!"
And then the whole stock market crashed to the floor and that made a big noise cause the market was full of lots and lots of coins so it made a big crashing sound when it fell and peoples tried to pick up all the coins but nobody could find any of it cause it rolled away and they couldn’t get it and nobody could find any money at all for years and years cause it had all rolled away and then people started singing “Brother, can you spare a dime?”
Why did I read this one in Trump's voice?
Because of TDS.
No, those who worship Trump have TBS! Those of us voting blue are the true patriots!
A couple of guys took a ship to see if the moon was really made of cheese.
Mmmmmmmmm cheeeese
"And then Mr JFK sneezed soooooooo hard, that.........."
-snickers- love the dark humor
A black man died for our sins.
And the guys who dressed up as Indians...not the Indians like Shushanth Patel...my friend...like they would live in TP's and it's not like toilet paper that goes on the butt. The Indians who um had corn and had the first Thanksgiving with the guys in the hats...Pilgrims... You know yah. Well they um took all the Tea that you drink like mommy but without the lemon and threw it on the water!!! The men in Red Jackets came to town for this guy named George...and said Stop it!!! You made George mad !!!
Hitler was a Poopy Face!
Big boat hit a giant ice cube and it sink causing lots of people to turn into people Ice cubes.
And then, they all had to take a shower and the shower put them to sleep, and they had to get a haircut and then they went up to mommy.
My daddy was watching the news and some guy named Brocko Bomma became president and daddy screamed a bunch of bad words at the TV. He said he ain’t gonna let some colored (bad word) from can yah take his machine gun away. So I asked mom what is a colored (bad word) and she said don’t never say that again. Then daddy went outside with his machine gun and shot at the trees in the woods.
Should ask your father how he's enjoying his gun that Obama did not take away from him!
He’s dead.
Sorry to hear that😢
The pwanes wanted to hug the skyswrapers
“Hitler was a bad man and wanted to take over the world. US got mad and didn’t want that. So they came over and said stop it and Hitler said no. So they brought a bunch of guns and won. The end”
Except that technically Hitler is not the reason we join the war!
That would've been Tojo.
Ok. One time some Japanese guys flew to Hawaii to surprise us
Are you talking about Vitruvian Man by Da Vinci? At most, Da Vinci is the name of a crater on the moon, not “a bunch of moons”.
9/11 - Jenga, but in real life
WW2 - Oops, I did it again...
The big balloon like in the parade popped and then the man said oh the humanity, whats humanity? and fire fell down on the ground then lots of people yelled and ran. I got scared and ran to. (The Hindenburg Disaster)
All the stuff in that Hamilton play my auntie likes to watch actually happened!
The day where people were bad at flying planes
US goes to Vietnam, then fights gorillas in the jungle
Basically what I thought when I saw this on the news when I was 5
So a bunch of people got mad at tea and threw it in a river, but one guy named Paul rode away yelling about the men in the red coats, so we wrote a deklarashun. Then the queen died.
So a bunch of people got mad at tea and threw it in a river, but one guy named Paul rode away yelling about the men in the red coats, so we wrote a deklarashun. Then the queen died.
Man got rejected from art school so he decides to kill all Jews
This black man was talking to many people and people liked him cuz they clap for him and then I heard a bang and my daddy came over and grabbed me and pulled me to his side. I thought I did something wrong but my dad kissed me and told me he loved me and I knew he did because there was a tear in his eye.
“A man in a Viking hat almost took over Senate.”
Just a bunch of explosion sounds
to twains got together and then gold spike🚂🚂
So there were these two towers? And planes flew into them. BLAMMO. CRRRRSHHH. AAAUGHHH! PSHKKKRHHHH!! Then a Pentagon! BOOOMMM! AAAUGHHHH!!! 'Sama Bin Laden was all, "HEE HEE HEE" so we shot him.
And then they came in with da big pretty planes and dropped boom boom.
And then Christopher Crumbluss sailed over the whole ocean and invented America, and then the Indians gave us turkeys and all their land so we could be America without England's stinky tea. And that's how the first Thanksgiving happened.
He said she looked like his daughter.
They said I lost but I actually won, BY A LOT!
Big boat sank
This man took some money to buy guns for other people and i think hostages were involved.
Congress investigated and man apologised.
Link-con used his ax to chop down a cherry tree (chop cop chop) and then said "can not tell a lie"...and that why we call him "honest Abe".
Everybody got really sick and all the old people died.
The lightbulbs had to be changed to worse lights, and there were always a creature my parents called a Siren screaming all night. Everyone was always afraid and I didn't understand why
Monkeys taught instead of Bible.
(Scopes Trial.)
Firetrucks! There’s so many firetrucks!
I was waking up in the morning and heard gun sounds. Mom said to hide in the safe room. I heard screaming at the neighbors and more gun sounds. I smelled fire and heard more yelling and guns. Mom didnt come to the safe room. I waited until it was quiet and when i went to look for mom there was blood everywhere and mom was sleeping in it.she didnt wake up. Nobody woke up. The kibbutz was burning. I went to hide again, later some soldiers came and took me somewhere safe. Now i have no mom and no neighbors and my friends are gone too.
Ring around the rosie, a pocket full of posies... (if you know you know)
“I think it’s gonna hit the other tower”
big war, plane flyers couldnt fly right they kept running into boats and then there was a big explosion that gave us anime