Refreshingly honest statements that will earn you a black eye

"You don't have the balls to punch me in the face!"

Yes that dress does make you look fat

Well, I think we have to go here with the original, the classic, the timeless ‘you don’t sweat much for a fat girl’.

But you look like a man

You know that a DIET COLA will not make your fat ass skinny, don't you? Put down that stack of cheeseburgers!

“Yes, of course I think about other women when we’re intimate. Women who don’t have facial hair, saggy tits, stretch-marked bellies, huge FUPAs, cellulite, fat saggy asses and unsymmetrical labia. It’s usually your sister.”

"Do these jeans make my ass look fat?"

"No, that'd be the visible spectrum of light."

Well yeah those pants do make you look fat

"You are an arsehole, you have always been an arsehole brother"

"Yeah actually I think it's creepy of you to be ogling the middle schoolers. No, I actually don't care how they're dressed. You are twenty-five."

In NY: "Yankees suck!"

In Boston: "Red Sox suck!"

In Cincinnati: "Spaghetti with chili sucks!"

No, the DRESS isn't what makes you look fat...

Honey..... are you sure you want a Dity Martini? Your thighs are begging you to order just water....

“Ryan, has anyone ever said you look like Doogie Howser?”

You hit like your grandma

"Fuck you, Antonio. And fuck your mother too. I said put pineapple on that fuckin' pizza. Because I like it, okay?"

Nice mustache!

pow

Sorry, ma’am.

Darling, I can't tell you how honored I am that you would offer your body to me, to enjoy as I desire, but honestly, as I gaze upon your ample naked figure, I'd rather scratch my balls with a chainsaw.

“Damn, bro - I would *love* to lick your wife’s tits!”

“How’d your wife enjoy last night? That’s right, you wouldn’t know because she was with me.”

Make America Great Again!

I’m a big fan of your mum

I turned your sister down because she’s a lot more manly than you.

Those pants really do make your ass look fat.

"Yeah, you do look fat in that."

There's a girl at work with boobs that are twice the size of yours!

Ya know, you really don't give a very good blow job

Drew, your wife's peach cobbler is surprisingly awesome! I wish my wife could make it as good as this, but her cooking is for crap!

“Yeah I do actually think that instagram model is pretty. In fact, I’m currently following her as we speak.”

You are uglier than sin, I don't think that even Jesus could forgive your ugliness.

Your potato salad is not as good as my mothers.

“Look, you say as much as you want that you’re trans, but I expect a more convincing performance!”

So... when's the baby due? (To a heavy woman)

“Hold on, I wanna get a closer look at this squid’s ink sac… AUGH MY EYE!”

Men are not women.

It is a fact, not an opinion, but having seen all of the violent and hateful rhetoric directed toward trans exclusionary radical feminists I know darn well they must wish death upon people like me (normal).