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People that have done big moves in the US, what was the biggest culture shock moments?
I visited South Africa last year and man, that was was a shock to me. the electrified fences everywhere. Guards with assault rifles outside the Sandton City Mall (I travelled all over South Africa from Cape Town to Kruger, but I stayed in Sandton for a bit of time while my South African colleague took care of some business).
The thing that concerned me most about those electrified fences was that, you really have to trust anybody you visit. While Ubering around Sandton, I couldn't help but wonder how many people get kidnapped just from visiting someone they know and then getting locked in. With not even a hope of escape because of the electrified fence which is not suspicious at all. I visited a Starbucks in Durban and they had a sign at the register that said something like "proudly cashless for our safety and the safety of our customers".
It was definitely a culture shock for me to be there. I've never been to New Jersey, but I understand a little bit of where you're coming from. Everybody I met in South Africa was very friendly, but things like the electrified fences had me on my guard, and feeling a bit on edge, at all times.
That's a very fair assessment. The United States is far more "rural" and "conservative" than it may lead on...as evidenced by our current political climate...
Me and the missus moved from New Delhi to Atlanta and it was the opposite.
The North East is the most conforming section of the country
Yes the most educated, paid, and free from religion
*the ones fleeing the region at a rapid pace
Not from any demographics I've seen. What sources you got?
I was born and raised in south Florida but moved to the northeast for college. I visited some family in Jacksonville, and even though it’s only 350 miles away from where I was raised in the same state it was quite a culture shock.
I walked into a Crystal Burger (like a White Castle but in the south) and said, “hi, I’ll have…” and the teen worker said, “hi, how’s it going?” To me, “how’s it going/what’s up” just means, “hi.” When I said, “good! How about you?” and expected the standard, “good” She literally started talking about her day in great detail. It was wholesome but quite a shock.
At a restaurant for dinner the waiter noticed my sister in law had a cast on her leg asked how it happened, then the waiter just sat down at the table in the open chair and started telling us the story of how he broke his leg in the past. It was so bizarre to me that a stranger would get so randomly involved and start a conversation with another stranger. I asked my brother if that’s normal in Jacksonville for a server to sit down and start a conversation with guests.
I know this makes me sound really rude and uncaring of others (or maybe like, ‘don’t fraternize with the “help”’) but I promise you this isn’t the case. It’s just that I’m used to people typically keeping to themselves and not just starting random convos
It’s funny how in Florida the south is in the north.
Very true. SoFlo is very New York-influenced
that’s funny! i did some touring with my band and my observation about jacksonville, fl was that everyone was very chatty but in a nice way.
ugh, that sounds awful. i'd hate that from random strangers anywhere, whether they were the 'help' or someone who just sat next to me on the bus.
If it is obnoxious for customers to hit on staff and talk their ear off when they are at work. It should go both ways. Staff shouldnt hold their customers captive
Not necessarily I actually like talking to people
Most of the time I do too. But it has a different sensation when you are 'caught'
i lived in Michigan from birth to age 18 and have lived in Oklahoma since age 18 and am currently 32. Everyone when i got here talked about how “rude” and “fast paced” it is up north , and how “everyone is always in a hurry” , but that’s how it is in Oklahoma by comparison. everyone in Michigan was more willing to move over so cars could merge on the highway, help neighbors, and do all kinds of the things i stereotypically associated with the “good natured kindness of the south “ but it’s completely backwards. my wife and her family are moving back to Michigan soon and i cannot wait to feel like i live in a modern time period with empathy again.
Oklahomans are nice, but they are not in any way kind. Source: 21 years here
Having lived in Oklahoma after living in Chicago I can say Oklahoma people are “nice” as in they say nice things but it can feel like a ruse. They don’t actually care about being your best friend, they’re just being polite. For a northerner like me it felt fake after I realized that cultural difference.
Example?
Will give you the shirt off their back, but only if their neighbors are watching and only if you’re white and don’t look poor or gay.
Moved from Houston to CO. Houston drivers are far more aggressive. Colorado drivers are the slowest drivers I've ever encountered on three continents.
Once in CO I got a notification of a heavy traffic warning and to expect delays "up to 5 minutes".
I think Seattle would like to have a word with you
The only place worse is Portland.
The rule in Oregon seems to be green light means 1 car only. And I don’t mean on metered on-ramps, I think this whole state is so dumb they think that applies to every green light. So when the light turns green and there’s 40 cars behind you, wait until it turns yellow then creep thru it once it’s red paying no attention to the traffic that has right of way. One car at a time.
also, don’t forgot to come to a complete stop at the end of the on ramp before merging!
That's because they're all so stoned
Seattle? Chicago has had the worst traffic + drivers. Though admittedly I did get stuck in Seattle an extra 4 hours once.
Chicago drivers act like they have somewhere to be. They don’t do that in Seattle.
Seattle drivers act like no one has anywhere to be so they all go 15 under the limit on the interstate
So much so that they don't mind cutting off other people to get there
I live south of Chicago and make a couple day trips a year. My parents and wife all say they refuse to drive there it’s so stressful. To me it was just offensive driving. It’s like the NBA there isn’t any defense from anyone.
I don't remember which road I was on but the posted mph was 45 and literally every single driver is doing 70+ and not even sweating it lol
I found the drivers in British Columbia much slower than in Ontario. I wondered at the time if it had something to do with a large number of people being stoned, although cannabis is legal throughout Canada now, and no one has slowed down on the road here.
Just went thru Denver and it was the collection of the dumbest drivers I’ve experienced (I’ve driven all over the US)… and not dumb like dangerous, or aggressive, but just dumb
I moved to Denver a few years ago, and it’s unbelievable how stupid the drivers can be.
I was stuck in a huge backup the other day and it turned out to be because people were only using one of the two block-long left turn lanes.
Wtf people.
I grew up outside Sacramento (N Ca) and everywhere I’ve lived since, people drive slower. Including Los Angeles.
🤣
I have a similar experience I also lived in Michigan, but I also lived in the south and now in the mountain west… I’ll say, I never experienced “southern hospitality” in the south, however I feel like that’s what I’m experiencing out here in the west…
Average southern propaganda lmao
Way too many douche bags with lifted trucks in Oklahoma.
I moved to Oklahoma from Nebraska for college and ended up staying about 8 years. I remember being absolutely amazed at how many confederate flags I saw. I always felt Nebraska was super conservative but it might as well be a bastion of liberalism compared to my experience in OK.
Kinda curious where in Oklahoma. Born in Tulsa, childhood in Edmond, teen and adult years in OKC.
I'm sure I've seen plenty of confederate flags, but not constantly. Our racism at the moment comes in the specific "Merica" flags everywhere kind.
Oklahoma City. I think the shock was more I went from never seeing them at all to seeing them fairly consistently, particularly on vehicles. Like I always assumed that stuff was played up for movies/tv. On the whole I actually quite liked OKC, though, and probably would have stayed if state leadership weren’t so terrible/useless.
That kinda surprises me. I wondered if maybe it was a rural vs. OKC thing, because I've noticed a cultural divide there in recent years. (Them again I'm also thinking midtown/downtown OKC as opposed to the greater metro.) But maybe I'm just numb to it when the actual let's go Brandon stickers are just so much punchier.
I get you on the state govt though. I feel like they have the rest of us hostage.
I left mid-trump so I’m sure it’s different now, and I’ll freely admit it may be worse in my memory than it actually was. I lived in edmond my first 2 years and that probably affected things, because I do think it was less prevalent when I moved just outside midtown.
The UP portion of Michigan is very similar.
People north of the Mason-Dixon appropriating confederate paraphernalia is such a weird phenomenon. You’ll see it here in NE, too, though you have to get pretty deep into the central part of state in my experience. We do get a lot of the run of the mill Trump stuff, though.
I don’t feel like I see a lot of confederate flags in the UP.
I did not expect the comparison between these specific states so high up. Born Okie here. I've never lived anywhere else, but had an aunt who lived in Michigan so it's the only other part of the country I've been to regularly.
Partially, what you say makes sense. Remembering my aunt's community, they were all super friendly and, well, community minded. However, Detroit (Greek town, from my memory) scared the bajeebus out of me. I'm used to casually small-smiling whenever I make eye contact with someone, etc. But it was just a wall of deeply unhappy face and cigarette smoke.
I do think it's also interesting that we're "Southern" by Michigan standards (my uncle said similar things and I'm just now noticing it.) But go to a Southern reddit or something and see if the South will claim us. (They won't.) The Native Americans who were forced here largely came from the proper south and brought that culture with them (and joined the Confederacy), but the land run and on were a more mixed bag. Every settler I've ever traced was from like Illinois or Indiana or something.
Ultimately, I think Oklahoma is a bit more "Western frontier individualism" than Southern Hospitality. It's kinda a shock to me too, honestly, because my formative years were in the shadow of the Murrah Bombing and the "Oklahoma Standard' of community solidarity that it inspired, reinforced by the May 3rd 1999 tornado. I feel like that Oklahoma Standard side of us has worn away and left the "me and mine" individualism that has a nasty side, like pandemic mask wearing.
Then again, I'm massive introvert so ymmv. But even I, introvert that I am, will absolutely smile and strike up a conversation in a grocery line because the friendliness is so ingrained...
You’re a great writer!
Why thank you. How kind of you to say ☺️
Haha bro if you think that's how people drive in Michigan, You're gonna have a bad time. Like you, I grew up here, but I never left. It used to be much nicer, yes, but it has devolved in almost every way that we could think up a word for. Like, hey guys, no really, it's not good here
Moved from Minnesota to Tennessee, and later South Carolina. The difference in religious denominations was a culture shock.
I grew up in a Christian home. My mom was a Lutheran Sunday School teacher. My dad is from a large Catholic family. Most of my Midwest friends were a similar Lutheran/Catholic mix. My childhood church had a female pastor. Lots of Democrat bumper stickers in the parking lot. I never once heard a sermon about gay people.
Then I met the Southern Baptists, who told me that my dead mom was in hell for not being "saved" and that my anxiety disorder was caused by demons. Also, hearing Pentecostals speak in tongues for the first time gave me a legitimate panic attack.
Being told I had lived my entire life wrong triggered a crisis of faith and now I just consider myself agnostic.
There really is nothing like passionately religious people to drive you away from religion is there
West coast to South was a shock. (I live in NY now.) Example: out West, people would say "you need to come to this event, it's mandatory," and we would hear it as "I can choose whether to go or not," whereas in the South, people would say "we're doing this thing, and it would be great if you could come, " and it meant "this event is mandatory, and you cannot miss it." That took a while to understand.
Both of these are so weird. Where I am, mandatory means mandatory, and "great if you can come" means optional.
Or maybe that is just what you think, and everyone is mad at you lol
Ah, Juneau
Where on the west coast are you from? I’m from San Diego and mandatory has always meant mandatory. That being said, the only time repercussions happen are when you constantly miss mandatory events.
Northwest. Ridiculously laid back about everything.
My boss recently posted a meeting with "Mandatory (but for real mandatory. I will write you up)."
Portland.
Ha ha ha. Classic Portland. In Eugene, you'd have to add "Not kidding."
I think at least 5 people opted for write up, too, lol.
We all know what we're doing and nobody who skipped it needed it. I just showed up because I like structure and following rules. Professionally, anyway.
This concept is genuinely one of the coolest things about this country, to me. People like to talk about how America is more-or-less homogenous, but it's really not. Just because almost everywhere looks visually the same and people act very similar on the surface does not mean the social rules are the same across the board.
I mean, that kind of difference exists between villages in old world countries just because they developed their cultures before people traveled by any means other than by foot. The US is much more homogeneous because people can mix and communicate with each other over long distances easily.
Of course none of that is to say that the US is entirely homogeneous, far from it.
I mean, by no means do I think that the U.S. is nearly as internally diverse as many places, least of all not Europe where for most of its history each hillside may very well have been a completely different polity.
The U.S. developed almost entirely in the era of widespread communication, hence why things look and feel the same almost everywhere. It's this accusation that gets on my nerves. It's really very easy to be a tourist in the U.S. an visit Florida, New York, Wisconsin, and California and get the sense that it's culturally almost completely the same, but it's only really that way on the surface level as we've developed a common appearance that's a mile wide but only an inch deep.
It's not so much that it's different everywhere, it's that it's not the same everywhere, as is the common sentiment of people from elsewhere.
I don't think anybody thinks that the US is the same everywhere, people just tend to speak in hyperbole.
Who says America is more or less homogeneous?
Moved from the west to Boston and was shocked how unfriendly everyone was. 10 years later moved back west and was weirded out at how friendly strangers were to me.
spent childhood in Boston up to age 12 then fam moved to CA and I noticed instantly how much friendlier and accessible strangers were compared to Boston
Which would you prefer… unfriendly or overly friendly lol
Now that I’ve been here a few years, I prefer friendly. But at first I was like “why are you being nice, what do you want from me”
I think this mind set is what makes everyone in Boston so rude.
I thought the same at first too
I’ve lived in the US for two decades - and lived in the Boston suburbs for a year last year. I would say people I met were more friendly than in California. Moving back - the most friendly neighbours I have…. are Canadian.
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it’s one of the things my parents miss most about their home country.
the sense of community doesn’t exist in suburbia with excess consumerism.
there’s benefits of course. you’re not beholden to community expectations. most everyone has what they need.
at the same time you don’t feel connected.
Born and raised in NYS, and went to Texas as a 20yo for the military. I'm from a small city, not NYC, so cars are still a part of life growing up. But Texans are on a whole other level. I remember walking a few blocks to go to a store, and people thought I'd lost my mind. No less than 3 strangers offered to give me a ride. "Nah, I'm good, I'm going right there, it's a block away, see it?!"
The idea that I'd just walk somewhere was so foreign to them. They were trying to be nice and helpful, and it wasn't creepy-- they were being neighborly and thinking that my car broke down or something. But it made me want to get a sign to put on my back to say, 'No thanks, I'm fine! I like to walk!'
I'm from Ireland. I visited Dallas in December and did a lot of walking around for my short visit. I felt like the only one on the streets at the time, it was bizarre.
I moved from the midwest to Idaho and I was shocked at how rude most idahoans are. They'd go out of their way to tell you they disapprove of something when people in Wisconsin would have minded their own business. I ended up moving to montana because the people in Idaho are absolutely toxic. Idaho attracts garbage people from every state.
And Montana is noticeably different? I figured they'd be very similar cultures, but I've only driven through them briefly
Montana has more in common with the midwest than the west coast. Montanans are generally nicer people and your neighbors are polite regardless of your political affiliation. Transplants in montana moved there to enjoy the outdoors, whereas transplants in Idaho moved there because they were ostracized in their home state due to their obnoxious behavior and want to be with like-minded people. I've never been exposed to more racists in my life than when I lived in Coeur d'Alene. Confederate flags are regularly flown above the US flag in idaho.
I live in Georgia but lived in California for one summer for an internship. We were planning a company picnic and I suggested adding bug spray to the shopping list. Everyone looked at me and one person said “…for what?”
Worked in CA with a lady from Florida. She was telling me the story about going to a realtor to buy her first home here and one of her conditions was a fully screened back yard. The realtor thought she was nuts.
For bugs or 'gators?
I grew up in Florida and moved to somewhere with seasons and I had never seen a season other than summer. It’s amazing to me still after all these years that trees have both a spring color and autumn color. Oh and snow is magical. I’d never seen snow either.
It was the opposite for me, coming down to Florida after living my whole life in New York. I had visited before, but only in the summer. How nice it is to be able to walk around in February in a t-shirt and shorts.
I moved from the West Coast to the East Coast 15 years ago. On the West Coast, you have no idea what people think about you, but even if they like you, they will assume you can deal with things yourself. Rugged individualism! On the East Coast, you know for absolute sure how they feel about you! But, even if they dislike you, they will actually help you in need. Even your enemy will help you change a flat tire, then suggest his cousin (a mechanic) will give you a deal on fixing the flat.
Boston: We're not nice, but we're kind.
Moving to Mississippi in 2007 and actually hearing a white person say the n-word for the first time in person. It took a moment for my brain to register what I just heard but figured no one could ever be that stupid. Wasn’t that last time I heard there either.
I lives in NYC until I was 33. I vacationed a lot in Florida growing up. My wife and I moves to the middle of the state. I was culture shocked…we were culture shocked. It is the bible belt and very southern with military mentality we were unaccustomed to. It was racist in an overt way we werent comfortable with. It was so conservative the Democrats and liberals were more conservative than most conservatives where we had lived. A large barrier too was our own biases. You don’t realize the northern prejudices against the south that exist but we had to learn to be careful with what we said. It truly was like moving to another country.
Rural Kansas to Miami for grad school. Holy shit, man. I arrived to riots in Little Haiti. I was playing a gig in Miami Beach and we were watching the news on a break. 1 of the guys in the band said, "Don't take the freeway home." I said I thought the freeways would be the safest. I followed him back to Coral Gables along some surface streets. Next day, I saw where barricades had been put up on I95 and cars were getting set on fire. Welcome to Miami.
On the plus side: WOW. Miami is the greatest tide pool of cultural influences in North America, and maybe the world. Food, architecture, music (!), art, fashion - it's fantastic. I dove in and swam as hard as I could. I dated a Colombian volleyball player. I played in bands where I was the only white guy. I could go to the beach anytime I wanted. I made friends that I never could have met anywhere else. Life-changing.
Darien, Connecticut to Miami right after high school and YES. Drove everywhere barefoot. Got a job at an occult supply shop. Bought weed from a kid with a parrot on his shoulder. Tried cocaine, had an abortion, went to the beach whenever I wanted. This was 1997 and I was only there a year, remains one of the best chaotic life decisions Ive made.
If you had lived in Miami in the 2020s some of the people you would have met would have passed through the other "Darien"
Midwest to rural Florida. Like night and day, I had never heard racism against Mexicans like they have in FL. Of course there are issues everywhere but homophobia, racism, so open and accepting as normal. Minor things were like seeing FL flags and license plates, just a little odd.
The blatant racism of everyone, black and white, in Ohio.
I grew up in south jersey and had no idea how casually racist everyone was until I went to college in west Philadelphia. I’m fixing to move from the southwest to the eastern Midwest soon so preparing myself for some sweet sweet culture shock
I grew up in Houston and moved to Dayton Ohio about 20 years ago. Those racist effs in ohio made houston look like a happy melting pot.
I’ve lived in a lot of places in the US and I think Ohio/Indiana/Illinois are the most racist places I have encountered (outside of maybe Boston!)
I grew up in Massachusetts, then at 18 moved to Upstate New York. Finished high school there, then moved from Upstate New York to Arkansas and it was vastly different. Arkansas seems to move at a slower pace. At new jobs I would hear slow-down because even though I didn't see it as talking too fast the customers did. There are adult stores and bars right next to churches down here, whereas in New York the adult store was hidden away. It's very different for sure.
Honestly, my biggest culture shock wasn't even from one of my bigger moves. I moved from the DFW area of Texas to southeast Texas. In other moves, I was prepared for things to be different, but that time I was just moving around within the state. Yeah, no.
I wasn't expecting it to basically be Louisiana (well, Louisiana to someone who's not lived there, but had the locals telling me the difference between a Cajun and a Coonass) and I had the hardest time pronouncing names, especially since some of them were spelled the same, but pronounced different and they'd get offended if you didn't automatically know which pronunciation to use.
Boudin and gumbo are really good though. I had both for the first time while I was living down there.
Not so much a culture shock but something that changed my life: Moved from Massachusetts where I was born and lived for decades to West Virginia then South Carolina. The polarizing views of how the "other" people are total bullshit. Most people are awesome wherever you are if you give them a chance.
Moved from Phoenix, AZ to Indianapolis, IN. I was not prepared for:
- shopping center entrances not being everywhere.
- food is so different
- moving with purpose is frowned upon
that shopping center entrance thing seems pretty specific.
Have to ask, How long did you end up circling the shopping center til you got in?
Longer than I’d like to admit. Made far too many U-Turns
Moved to North Carolina from the west coast when I was younger - There were a lot of businesses with a black and white version, not just hair salons/barbers - Lots of places in some way linked to tobacco. It’s industry and agriculture there, public health/vice in other places - Rich people, professionals speak with strong accents - College basketball is a way of life, not just some sport on TV
Blue collar work culture in southern California is way softer than blue collar work culture in the Midwest.
Working in SoCal felt like a vacation and working in the Midwest feels like working for your funeral.
For real man. I started out doing construction when I was 19 in Chicago and it was both the most physical job I've ever worked, and we worked long ass hours and most Saturdays. A 50 hour week was my standard, minus the Saturday.
The thing is though we all wanted to because with the extra overtime we were making bank. Back when I was in a Manager's position here in socal I couldn't give out overtime if I wanted.
I've found this to be true of white collar work as well.
I can vouch for that after working in a management position for about 5 years. I will say though that I saw enough of the psychos on the white collar side that the difference wasn't as stark from my perspective, but it did/does exist.
I noticed that in the Midwest most people generally worked, and I mean like they tried, gave a little effort and just kinda was self motivated (not a ton of over the top trying)… in the south and now in the mountain west it’s either someone that works and cares way too much and tries waaay to hard and tortures themselves, and then everyone else is lazy
What?
People all generally aren’t lazy in the Midwest, but they don’t go above and beyond either… in the south and mountain west workers are either super lazy, or work waaaaaay too hard for what they are being paid
moved to Colorado from Virginia, there is so much free to access public lands out here, like so many acres of land that I can go to without paying a dime and go hunting or hiking or camping and not need any permission for it
East coast to pnw. Way less diversity, even in the big cities. Everything is slower-paced. People seem nicer but less open to banter and friendly teasing or snark
I'm also surprised by how slow motion everyone is here, and how little diversity there is.
I moved from PA to CA in the late 1980s and everyone seemed really self-involved and lacked social skills. It's like they had no idea how to relate to other people and lacked basic hosting skills (like offering a visitor a drink soon after sitting down). They also didn't seem to know how to ask you questions or carry on a conversation. They just talked a lot about and among themselves as if they were trading off on monologuing about whatever.
Then, I moved back to PA from CA a year ago and people are smoking everywhere and alcohol and sports are the main focal points of culture in a way that was invisible to me when I grew up here. In CA, few people smoked cigarettes, though there was a lot of cannabis culture among certain people.
maybe it was the age range from when you moved from PA->CA, and then CA-> PA.
ppl in 30's-40's seem to have a hard time making friends, so maybe the drink culture and sports are what holds what friend groups have survived with
Moved from southern California to Nebraska. Everyone working in the Nebraska taco bell was white. I'd never seen that before.
I’ve lived on 3 coasts and the Rockies. People in the South are saccharine: fake sweet. They say nice things but aren’t kind-hearted. People up North are surly and grumpy but will actually help you dig out your car, or shovel your driveway. They’ll call you a “friggin idiot” the whole time- but they are kind hearted.
Northerners also know how to drive. They have to. There’s too damn many of them to be completely stupid about it. Oh, they’ll cut you off, and not use their signals, but they rarely cause a fatality. They’re assholes behind the wheel, but not truly dangerous.
Westerners are surface chill, but they’re low key sure they’re better than everyone else. They’ve got a point with that west coast weather, but they aren’t responsible for the weather. And everyone else thinks they’re soft.
The Rockies make for fit people usually. I liked how outdoorsy everyone is. Getting “away from it all” was a near universal hobby, which made moving South with the nosy neighbor types really jarring. Who cares what everyone did last weekend, or what everyone is doing next weekend? Southerners, that’s who. Other regions respect your privacy.
The Rockies make for cold winters. They’re more like northerners than anyone else. They just aren’t as grumpy as northerners are. Yet. Give them a few more generations… I’m sure they’ll remember their roots. lol.
Growing up in NY where smoking was largely eliminated in the 90s and early aughts, it was like moving to a different country when I went to the Florida Panhandle and again Dae a cigarette register at the store and people smoking in public.
NY to Georgia…holy hell the traffic here is 1000% worse than NYC
Moved from the Dakotas to Georgia.
Funnily enough there are less confederate flags seen in Georgia lol
My most recent cross country move was the first that I noticed a true difference. It's pretty amazing how much the people you're around and where you work can make a difference.
New Yorkers are super nice. Talking Syracuse and the surrounding area mostly, but even out west that we've visited....nothing but nice people. We moved here in late 2022 from near Daytona Beach, FL. The difference is amazing.
I was military and grew up in a military family, so prior to 2017 I really only knew the military lifestyle. 2017 to 2022, we lived in Florida and I was working in civilian work. The difference there was big (Navy vs civilian company not involves with military at all). Despite some issues at work between me and some of the Floridians, I thought they were all generally nice people who were pretty upfront about what they want and how they felt. And they all seemed to be very nice. Direct neighbors and people in the neighborhood seemed generally nice, except one horrible couple (to be expected in any neighborhood).
We had enough of the politics down there (and melting) so we decided to move and ended up with New York. I fully expected to just have to deal with the stereotypical New Yorkers from the movies, as nothing in our research of areas talked about the people. They are genuinely the nicest people I've ever lived around. Upfront and open about what they want, what they are concerned about, good things, bad things, you name it. There's not out to deceive you, there's no sweet to your face but nasty when you walk away, no passive aggressiveness.
It's so fucking nice. And it made me realize just how nasty Floridians are. Fuck Florida.
Southern California, to Maryland.
It rains way too much, mosquitos, snow, crab soup, old bay, poverty, low housing cost,
I moved from liberal south Florida to the panhandle. I am white. I had a contractor out doing work on the house and we were chatting. Out of no where he dropped the N word (in reference to actual black Americans). It was shocking to me that he felt so comfortable in that town that he could speak like that without fear of reproach. I asked him to leave and when I called the owner of the company to complain he didn’t seem very concerned…
That was my first month there and in the 5 years I lived there I realized why he felt so emboldened. It was a Deep South type community where the far right was thriving. He probably didn’t expect to be speaking to someone who didn’t feel/think along the same lines as him.
Moved from Illinois to Florida to Utah, the first two were pretty similar since there’s so many northeastern transplants but from Florida to Utah was a shock once I realized there’s no Dunkin’ Donuts in Utah.
Jokes aside people are rude in a very side of the mouth way, they are rude and conceding in a hushed manner as if you don’t know what they’re saying, at least on the other side of the continental divide they’re just rude straight up without trying to be cryptic about it.
I think the biggest issue is there’s no kindness here, if you get a flat tire in Florida it’s likely someone will stop and help, in Utah if they stop they will ask what happened and just leave. They never planned on helping, they just wanted a story to tell about some idiot that hit debris in the road and got a flat.
Everybody in Utah thinks they’re a celebrity and they’re the hottest shit to happen to the state, keeping up with the joneses syndrome runs rampant.
It’s not rushed for me to say some of the worst humans I have ever met have all been here in Utah over the past 3 years, and not the east from the past 25. I miss the Midwest.
Moved to the PNW and everyone kept asking why I was moving there since it was just potatoes, Nazis and small towns. In my home state I lived in areas where you kept your doors locked, checked the car at night to ensure doors were locked and windows were rolled up and confirmed you left nothing of value that would entice some to break into your automobile. Wouldn't let my gf leave the house after dark if she was staying the night. Had a gun in the living room and in the bedroom and a crowbar behind the door and always carried a knife. My 'new neighborhood' had 7 break-ins and 8 deaths in the span of 3 weeks. The deaths were the burglars not the residents so crime slowed down a bit in our area.
Moved out to the PNW and aside from gun maintenance and firing maintenance (maintaining the ability to hit center mass) I've never once considered needing it, despite it being an open carry state, since I've been here. The city I live in is consistently rated between 8-10 in safest cities in the U.S. Folks are nice and respectful, my experience the past 6 years at least.
Family came out to visit and we were walking out late. Needed directions (we were walking) and I saw some folks smoking in an alley. Walked up and asked directions. Directions were given and my family spazzed like 'I can't believe you just did that.' Told them 'we're not "back home" and they were taking a smoke break.' I've witnessed more Southern hospitality in the PNW than I ever did in the South.
There are designated 'no block' intersections here so folks can get out and prevent back-ups. If you drive in the left lane and aren't passing you can get a ticket. While there have definitely been some issues with the police here the past year or so it's still far better than the situation we had back home.
I still lock my doors and my car and ensure there's nothing of value in my auto but I know the odds are greater that if I were to forget I wouldn't come out to my car having been rifled through. I forgot once in TN and had pulled my camera out of the trunk when visiting with friends. Came out the next morning and I could tell before I opened my car door that I'd been burgled.
I learned that Philly is a shit hole
Hey it’s OUR shithole
I just got back to Philly from a 5 week trip in Germany (mostly Bavaria). Talk about a culture shock.
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As a Texan, the end of May to September/October just sucks lol.
I moved from the south east to the south west years ago.
Less fat people, more gun culture, more outdoors focused culture, less food variety, lack of diversity, I feel people are a little more friendly than the south.
Moved from NJ to WA, I don't regret it at all and I love it here, however, the people here are much more reserved, less outgoing and passive aggressive. Back home it was was pretty easy to make friends and everyone was just on a different type of time lol also the food is WAY better back home.
moved from ohio/kentucky to all the way south coastal texas. exactly nothing is similar, i feel like i'm in a new country.
Not a huge move, but I’ve lived in San Diego my entire life and recent moves to Vegas and oh my goood everyone smokes cigarettes lol. I was like ew people still do this? lol like I’m used to people smoking a ciggy while drinking but the sheer amount of people who chain smoke is crazy
Moved from the Northeast to the midwest. The first thing I noticed was the difference in the cost of living. I saw these huge houses that would have been million dollar houses where I grew up... and they were only $200K or something. Movie tickets were cheaper, restaurants were cheaper, groceries were cheaper. Just everything.
I've lived out here now for almost 20 years and I keep thinking someday I'd like to move back closer to my family, but everything's so expensive out there. We can't afford it.
When I was 13, we moved from a very nice suburb in NJ, outside Philly, to rural Appalachian foothills in Ohio. Even though my dad's family was here and we visited several times a year, I didn't know anyone outside the family's church and farm-related organizations. There were two kids in my 8th grade that I knew going in, and they didn't warn me that teachers here were allowed to use corporal punishment. One of the teachers had holes drilled in the paddle to reduce air resistance. In NJ, a teacher had been disciplined for putting his hands on a kid who was being rowdy, and telling the kid to sit down. I was not ready for hearing "cracks" coming from the hallway.
There were other things, like studying stuff I'd covered in 6th and 7th grades, and having to ride the bus instead of walking to school, and not being able to walk to my friends' houses, but the corporal punishment was the biggest one for me.
I've done several temporary moves for work. Originally from the metro NYC area.
My biggest culture shock came when I had work assignments in the South. Everything about the culture of college football shocked me.
Overt racism in Texas. I never heard anyone use the "n" word growing up in California. I was shocked at how commonly used it was in the suburbs of Dallas.
I grew up in DC/maryland in a mostly black area then moved to Texas. I had never met a racist person or heard anyone say anything racist until I got to Texas. I couldn’t believe how openly racist the white people in Texas are… I am white so they would approach me and just say very blunt shit like “I can’t stand n******” and I would be like what the fuck!? I even had a grown ass old man try to physically attack me for asking him to not refer to our other customers as the n word and then was reprimanded by the owner of the store for being “political” for speaking up.
I moved to Colorado Springs for 8 years after growing up in eastern Washington. I was shocked at the huge percentage of white people and density of liquor stores in the Springs. It felt so crazy seeing so few non-white people while going about my day (not in a malicious way! I just never really traveled before then so I only knew what I knew.) And I felt like if I was in a car in town, there would never be a time when I couldn’t easily hold my breath between two liquor stores.
At home literally half of the quarter million people in my county are Hispanic, and you really only get liquor at grocery stores now, and beer and mixed drinks at gas stations.
Also, I know the US has a very individualist culture but I felt this more-so in the Springs. Oh! And the dog culture there is also a whole thing on its own. And breweries and hiking. Which is funny because basically all the hops in the country come from my home county, but we don’t have many breweries? I guess we do have wineries, though.
Colorado Springs is an interesting place. I lived there for almost a year when I was in my 20's. I think I only met ONE person who was actually from there and had grown up there. Everyone else I met was an import from out of state, but not necessarily military. Most of the people I met would constantly tell me how great Colorado Springs is! It's the best place ever! Why would anyone want to live anywhere else? It felt like I was in a commercial.
Another oddity I found about the Springs was that people gave directions like: "When you get to the light, turn North/South/East/West." Everywhere else I've been in the US, I've never heard that. It's usually "when you get to the light, turn right/left. I found this disorienting for a while when I lived there.
Also, the elevation absolutely floored me for at least a month. I was constantly exhausted and suddenly could not hold my liquor at all. When I left CO and moved to the midwest, I felt like freaking SUPERMAN. I had seemingly endless energy for a bit just from the change in elevation. It was wild.
I agree with you.
Plus you can’t buy anything but beer in grocery stores.
Springs is especially bad too because it’s home to focus on the family & navigators.
How would you say the 'individualist culture' made itself more apparent in Colorado Springs? I'm about to move up there at the end of the month and I've only ever dipped in to visit Pike's Peak, so I'm curious
I just noticed that most people I interacted with were really…it’s hard to describe. Like they wanted to be unique and important, but ironically in the same ways as each other? They knew the best place to hike and the trail that no one knew about so you can’t tell anyone, and they had the most interesting backstory, and their aspirations were way more interesting for them to talk about than listening to others’. The result was like a million people with the same “TX —> C☀️L🌸R⛰️D❄️” (or whatever other home state they were from) insta bio who all thought they were the main character. I don’t mean to be a jerk, they weren’t bad people or anything. But I often felt like people who asked me about myself were just waiting for their turn to speak.
I also met people who would like…Venmo me for a couple bucks if they bought shared snacks or drove us somewhere and used their gas? Things I would never think to track. Surprisingly this was more common from people who had more money. I had never encountered that before. In was used to friends just…feeding each other and ourselves however works best without keeping tabs.
I think also because it was such a military town, there were a lot of people who valued their personal liberties over even the most benign rules. Like small stuff that’s just meant to make things in society run a little more smoothly, people would be like, nah, you can’t tell me what to do.
A lot of this I think can be attributed to what someone else said in the replies, which is that a huge percentage of people who live in the Springs are from elsewhere. I had a lot of fleeting friendships. People moved back home a lot (I did as well.) A lot of people have no family there and are on their own. So not having a longstanding sense of community, people are just out there for themselves.
I did meet my husband there. He was born and raised in the Springs and has the same friend group from elementary into his now 30s. Its a noticeable difference between them and those who moved from elsewhere. But I brought him back to WA with me!
On the east coast, we say "fuck you" and mean "hello". On the west coast, they say "hello" and mean "fuck you".
So spiritual I’m a west coaster
California to Washington state about a decade ago — the lack of ethnic diversity was pretty shocking. My home city in CA is “minority majority” where white folks comprise only like 25% of the population but WA is very white (less so now than it was 10 years ago but still)
Grew up in Utah, and still feel like drivers are generally courteous and use their blinkers, use the left lane for passing and then get back into a right side lane. See someone on the side of the road with hazards on? Well of course I'm pulling over, they might need help...
California was a shock to me. Moving here, I discovered that turn signals are considered purely decoration. If you use it, you've lost your space to squeeze into. The speed limits are either 3mph or 85mph 😅. Oddly enough though, the aggressive forcing your way through traffic seems to work, because almost everyone does it and is used to it. First time I pulled over to help someone here, my friend lost her shit... "Are you trying to get murdered!?" 🤣
I (mostly) grew up in AZ, then moved to MO a few years ago. I don't know if it's because throughout my career my co-workers consisted primarily of men who left the armed forces and went into tech, or my sense of humor is just not built for central America but when I try having conversations with people out here it never ends well lol
From my observations, people out here rarely say what they mean and circle the point in conversations like the subject is supposed to be known and not spoken aloud. Also, it's ok to interrupt people constantly while they're talking, but if you ask them to stop or keep going not allowing yourself to be interrupted it's a crime.
Overcoming all the opinions of your "friends" you left about the new place, that they have zero information about. You get all sorts of tales about this and that, nothing close to reality. You just have to find out for yourself.
Moved from west coast to the south - the blatant racism.
Moved to the Rockies and the hate for out of staters was awful.
These 2 also had poor quality produce ( the south was worst).
Moving from produce rich west coast made it glaringly obvious how good we have it.
The smoking in restaurants and public places In The south was horrendous.
Colorado was much better than the south. Healthcare was better, lack of smoking Indoors, the outdoor options for activities.
It was also a shock to see people openly carry guns in public spaces like parks.
We moved back to west coast and haven’t regretted a day.
The food options do much better on the west coast —- except for BBQ.
We moved from Chicago to Los Angeles in 1977, and the biggest shock was how many people drove pickup trucks. Back then pickup trucks were not that common in Chicago. Another was how unfriendly people were. We were living in an 18 unit building and when I would see another resident when I was collecting my mail I would always say hello. Most of them would grab their mail and almost run away without responding. It bothered me at first, but after living here for a while I appreciated that everyone minds their own business. BTW, I now have a pickup.
Big east coast city to mid size southern city. I learned you are supposed to acknowledge other people in an elevator or they will think you’re very rude.
Indiana isn't a democratic state. It's a microcosm of the crony capitalism christofascist oligopoly the GOP wishes it could have everywhere. It's awful. I will never live there again.
Moved from MA to north FL. ‘Nuff said.
Retired military here. I’m from central Midwest. Have moved all over. Biggest culture shock? Moving to California. Was not prepared for it. At all. I lived in Italy for a few years and had less culture shock moving there than I did moving to Cali. No joke. Thought it would be more or less similar to the rest of the US. Nope! Nothing like living in the Northeast, not the Southeast, not the Gulf Coast, not the Pacific Northwest, not the Midwest, though I will say driving through Louisiana for the first time was…interesting. Was much happier once I crossed into Mississippi. The one good thing I loved about Cali is (as a group) Yosemite, Sequoias, Redwoods, Monterey, Pacific Coast Highway, Tahoe, etc. Yeah, that’s about it. I have lots of…opinions about Cali.
Going to get buried but moved from Northern Virginia/Washington DC area to Los Angeles
I’m amazed at how many people I’ve met here casually do mushrooms
I'm living in a blue state for the first time in, like, 35 years after having spent most of my life in the South, namely Texas & North Carolina. It's fucking incredible. I love it here. People aren't nearly such assholes, even the homeless, and I actually have a workplace that gives a shit about their workers. It's like being in a good relationship after getting abused for decades, LOL
We went from a blue state to a red state was wild. In the red state, the cultural ideology was much more prominent and at the forefront fake patriotism on full display. It took some getting used to
Agree!
Am contemplating such a move myself. Can you tell me what I'm in for?
I’m sure it depends on the area… if you’re moving from like a hipster/normalish Midwest town (maybe like a college town) to Denver… probably not much difference except you’ll be able to see the mountains in the distance.
But if you’re moving to a more rural mountain west town there could be some changes… I mean just how trends and things like fashion don’t move as fast out here, or that I have lived in large Midwest cities. In the town of 60k I’m at now I have seen more face tattoos already here than I have in the rest of my life combined. I could just keep going and going
Oh but I do live on a mountain which isn’t anything you get in the midwest
I could just keep going and going
Please do! I'm a little worried about how I will manage the winter climate at altitude. Have been a flatlander all my life.
Obviously it depends on where you live, I mean I lived on the lake shore of the Great Lakes and like buffalo NY you can get feet of snow and large snow drifts… but so far out here I wasn’t prepared for the wind, like routinely 50+ mph gusts
Ah, understandable. I'm in Oklahoma City and am accustomed to wind. But not much snow. I moved to OKC from the southeast and the culture shock for me was that I couldn't grow things here like I could in NC even though the USDA growing zone was the same.
Was shocked to learn in Northern Virginia that, despite horrendous traffic and fast speeds, they’re generally pretty good drivers as long as there isn’t a Maryland plate nearby. They also tend to give pedestrians the right-of-way, which took a while to get used to.
(This was like 15 years ago though,)
Kwik shop being Loaf N Jug and Dillon’s, King Soopers 🤣🤣. Like bro what!? Idk why but it stuck out the most lol.
They are like GTA business names
I moved from Mississippi to rural upstate Pennsylvania for a year. The weirdest thing to me was the lack of diversity. I think I saw maybe 2 black people the entire time I was there and like one other Hispanic family.
Missouri to Colorado. Show up to Wednesday night disc golf club. No pre beers. All pre joints.
So I joined em.
Utah to Virginia in 2011. Black/white racial tension. Holy crap. All the stuff I saw on the national news suddenly came into focus.
Also: How many people smoke and drink. Wineries, wine events everywhere all the time.
East coast to NM- pace is very different, there's not a sense of urgency built into the culture. I never noticed it existed to the extent it does in the NE til it was missing and my expectations were wildly out of line with the reality around me.
Great Lakes to Southern California- I was far more prudish and didn't understand how to earthquake proof my home
The cuisine changes mostly but one thing that also stood out to me was that missouri has a TON of drive thrus. It seemed like everything even the banks had drive thru's and even "nicer" resturaunts had drive thru windows for pick up.
Originally from Cali. Never saw someone able to get spaghetti through a drive thru until I moved to missouri.
I grew up in the south but have lived in NYC for the past ten years. Now whenever I leave I can’t stop wondering why everybody is so goddamned slow.
Within the US, from California to Southwest Ohio. The Ohio city we moved to was full of international companies, Fortune 500 ranked, etc. There was a lot of international travel and people coming for training from other countries.
But the neighborhoods were quite separated racially. Not segregation, but no major diversity. We went from living in a neighborhood and going to schools with every skin tone and ethnicity to culture shock where there was only one Black family in the school, and a handful of Asian-Indian. When Middle Eastern and other Asian ethnicities moved in, the old people didn't know what to do.
For my family, it was just another day. It's still shocking/frustrating to hear neighbors and coworkers identify people as inferior because of racial differences.
We moved from Nebraska to Tennessee in 2001, and I couldn't believe how many trees there were. Everything was so green, it blew my mind.
Inner city south to rural south go crazy. Nobody smokes weed out here and I haven't seen a Muslim or a Jew in six months lmao
Why did you think it was going to be the same? Even moving to a different part of a city, things are different.
Every neighborhood has its own quirks and personalities.
This is a great question because I'm thinking of making a move in the future...possibly a far move and I've often wondered what the difference would be to where I live...👍
Midwest to rural rockies... so you're still in the Midwest, got it
Moved from Massachusetts to N.H., took forever to get used to the slightly harder “r” when speaking.
I grew up in South Florida and moved to Tennessee after I graduated college. We have family in TN and NC who I'd visit almost every summer and winter break, so I didn't think culture shock would happen. Well, visiting YOUR family is very different from being dropped into a whole other culture of people, I'll tell you that.
The first city I lived in was Knoxville. All the research I had done at the time told me it was some kind of slower version of what I knew as a city, which sounded perfect. Then I moved and found out downtown is (was? I haven't been back) dead and basically abandoned except for the one small square students hang out in. The city is overrun by homeless people and it doesn't seem like anyone cares. Went to a concert at a bar next to a sprawling tent city. (To clarify, my issue isn't the homeless people themselves, but the fact that they even exist in such a number in the first place and everyone else has just accepted it instead of doing literally ANYTHING to help them or prevent it happening to more people). People would see me, a blonde white girl, and start saying the most heinous shit about people of other races and gay folks, just assuming I was a safe space to share that disgusting crap because I looked like them. I had never heard anyone say the N word "the old fashioned way," let alone so casually, until I moved there-- I only ever heard black people say it to each other before then. And there was nothing to do. The river? Good luck seeing it since rich folks block it out with their big ass mansions. The mountains? Not there, it's a plateau. The people? College kids who are just passing through, or the delightful folks I've already described. People with money and more sense live in the nicer areas on the outskirts, but god, I had never been so depressed or felt so alone until I moved there.
Chattanooga is much better. The traffic and crime are complained about by folks who don't know better, but compared to where I grew up, it's chill AF. Lots of outdoorsy stuff that's fully accessible and just enough of a night life for me, since I'm not a huge bar hopper. The quality of people is also much higher.
Moved from MI to OR. Biggest culture shock has to be how casual people are about weather here. In MI, you have to learn to be comfortable with with ice and snow. Power outages in the dead of winter are mostly just a funny joke about not having to bring groceries in or using the fridge to keep something warm. Freezing in your powerless house isn't too big of a concern because houses are built for it. Yet people prepare for it. You don't disrespect winter weather and you don't drive in heavy rain.
Here in Oregon, it freezes once a year for about a week and everything comes to a standstill. I like to joke that there's only one snow plow and one salt truck in the whole county. Snow safety is a foreign concept. Power outages are guaranteed and are genuinely dangerous due to the sheer amount of trees that drop down power lines and then left laying in the middle of the road, it can take up to two weeks to get power back in some cases. It's happened every year Ive lived here, but as soon as it thaws everyone is back to business as usual.
Wildfires are just a fact of life and only a concern if you live in the evac zone, but even then you have to seek out that info. Last year we had a wildfire less than 2 miles from us, closer to one mile, and you wouldn't realize it based on how everyone was acting about it. In September 2020 nearly the whole valley turned red, then orange, then finally yellow and only us transplants were really acting concerned about it (minus people who lost their homes or had to evac) even though AQI was over 500 for days. For reference, anything over 50 is considered poor air quality. Born and raised Oregonians were just like "yeah this hasn't happened in a good fifty years or something" before moving on with their day.
It rains 8.5 months of the year and is hot and dry the rest of it. Many homes I lived in here are moldy and poorly insulated. Oregonians are just like "well that sucks." My literal first day in Oregon, driving down the Columbia River it went from clear and sunny to raining so hard everyone turned on their hazards and kept driving. There was nowhere to pull over so we all just followed the hazard lights because it was honestly the only thing you could see. I've had to redefine my personal understanding of the different types of precipitation.
Went from SoCal to Michigan. God there’s a lot of nothing in Michigan. And snow. I still hate snow with a passion
At least the drivers are better here (in the summer that is)
I’ve lived in most US regions and my biggest culture shock has been seeing how the same we all are. The cultural differences have nothing on the similarities
I moved from Baltimore, MD to rural Georgia when I was 16
Any culture shock?
Extreme! Baltimore is a city and I moved to the middle of no where. Also I had never seen so many racists and fake people.
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Not mine moved from cities to cities.
Indiana to Houston. Mostly, just how spread out everything is in Houston and Texas. People really are nice.
I lived on Long Island until I was 8 then moved to central California. I was shocked I couldn’t surf to and from school. Classmates asked me what country I was from because of my accent. Was very surprised at the lack of literacy amongst children in my class. I also wasn’t able to help the other kids with their reading because the teachers didn’t want the other kids to talk like me, I’m like WHY?? Because I’m from Lon Gisland??
We emigrated from South Africa to the USA in 2000.
My first observation was how low the crime rate is in suburban northern New Jersey. No walls. No razor wire. No spikes. Coming from crime-ridden Johannesburg, this was totally alien.
My first long-term observation was that I was surprised how deeply conservative and religious America is. For the country steeped in the iconography of the rebel motorbiker and cowboy, this country is not as free-spirited as they think it is.