When I was 13, we moved from a very nice suburb in NJ, outside Philly, to rural Appalachian foothills in Ohio. Even though my dad's family was here and we visited several times a year, I didn't know anyone outside the family's church and farm-related organizations. There were two kids in my 8th grade that I knew going in, and they didn't warn me that teachers here were allowed to use corporal punishment. One of the teachers had holes drilled in the paddle to reduce air resistance. In NJ, a teacher had been disciplined for putting his hands on a kid who was being rowdy, and telling the kid to sit down. I was not ready for hearing "cracks" coming from the hallway.

There were other things, like studying stuff I'd covered in 6th and 7th grades, and having to ride the bus instead of walking to school, and not being able to walk to my friends' houses, but the corporal punishment was the biggest one for me.

Different locations have different laws. In Ohio, for example, usage makes it so, as long as you aren't try to defraud by pretending to be someone else or avoid legal action. It can also depend on how much you change. For example, someone born Timothy wanting to make Tim his legal name might be able to just make the changes with Social Security and DMV, where Timothy Williams wanting to become Hepzibah Jones may need to deal with more hoops. Again, depending on laws where you are.

I did my change at 14? 15? I'm old enough that I didn't need to get my Social Security card until I started working. On the application was a line for name on birth certificate and one for the name to be on the SS card. I had been going by a shortened version of my birth name for a few years already, so I just used that.

And record it to post here!

Morbidly obese person here, I've found chair cardio to be great for movement without the joint stress. I like Caroline Jordan on YouTube, but there are others. https://www.google.com/search?q=chair+cardio

Do you mean phlegm, the thick snot in your lungs and throat?

I like it, but then, it was on my list for possible girl names ever since I was in my teens. Franklin is a family middle name for males on my dad's side. I also considered Franklynn and Franklynne. But since I never had any kids, and I had a hysterectomy at 55, so they aren't in my future, the issue is moot for me.

Are we just ignoring the void on the fence?

I'm scared by this thread. I, too, thought of the same thing.

Siamese cats are often referred to as "meezers", did her family have a Siamese?

And to expand, could who/whatever is after Dad come after OP and/or Mom?

From what you said, YTA.

Boarding school alumna here. Have you AND your daughter visited any boarding schools? What kind were you thinking of? Many people think of boarding school as a punishment, a school for kids on the path of delinquency. Does she think that's why you're sending her away? I understand what you mean by opportunities, but it sounds like you left her out of the loop.

It's not going to do anyone any good if you do send her and she doesn't want to be there. One year our headmaster went for the stray puppies and warm bodies to get the tuition numbers up, and within the first 2 months 20 kids were expelled. When the student body is only 100 kids, that is a LOT. There were a few who were troubled in ways the school and its staff were not trained to handle, but all were acting up and acting out to get kicked out.

Please, involve your daughter in the conversation. Get info from various schools. PM me and I'll send a link to the school I attended. And try to visit, if only via Zoom. Talk to teachers and students. And if your daughter still says no, accept it. There are also colleges and universities where she can start networking if she isn't ready to leave home for high school.

Mine adds the layer of not asking the question she wants answered. If someone came to the house asking for me, she'd go to my room, knock, and ask if I was awake. If I said yes, she'd send the person in. Several embarrassing moments would have been avoided had she asked "Are you dressed?"

and proceeds to sit/lie on a kitten.

One American-friendly (Friendly?) community is Moteverde, Costa Rica. It was settled by US Quakers in 1950. I have kin down there.

Especially if the seller has particular tastes that the buyer doesn't share, and the buyer says something like, "If we buy it, the first thing to go is the fugly avocado green shag carpet in the living room" and the seller gets traumatized because they helped their grandfather install said carpet and remembers so many special times when kids and pets were playing on that carpet...

I was thinking the same, that if she'd left that issue alone, or any other controversial issue, and focused on general good things, people would love her more. Like you said, literacy, or education in general, would be fantastic. It could be something like Dolly Parton's books for children, or helping to fund a school in a developing country. I can't believe she's so naive and sheltered to think that such comments would have been acceptable.

Disclaimer: The OP has been deleted, so I can only go by the title and some of the comments. If this comment is totally off, that's why.

I recently read human interest story about a woman whose husband lost his physical and mental capabilities. I can't remember if it was an accident, loss of oxygen for some reason, or dementia, or what. Anyhow, her own needs were being put on the back burner, and it was not good for her mental health. The upshot was she did divorce her now-ex-husband, but she and her new husband care for him together. It definitely takes a special person to be willing to be a caregiver for your spouse's ex.

I would do a combination. Sure invest some, and put a lot into my savings and retirement accounts for the future. I would also travel some, both domestic and international. One thought might be to buy a motor home or travel trailer and live in it while traveling where I can drive to.

At my age, 61, I wouldn't want to go back to school for a career degree, but I would like to take classes in art and cooking, and maybe other hobby/craft things. Or maybe audit some 100 and 200 level courses in things that interest me, like archaeology.

I have some ideas for helping my community, not really an official charity, but helping local people, like an emergency fund with the vet's office for people who can't afford pet emergencies.

There are vocal veg*ans who go on the offensive against meat eaters. As a result, some of the sensitive meat eaters take it as a personal judgment if someone isn't eating meat, they're ready for the attack, and so they wind up being almost proactive, attacking before they can be attacked.

This also happens with childed vs. childfree.

Would it be possible for you and your husband make up the difference so he could join on the trip with your mom?

Another option, make a list of things he wants to share your firsts, like the Louvre, and you do NOT go to/do those things with your mom, save them for him?

My question is, how do you pronounce it? la-TINKS? LA-tinks?

One example of these things is to place a diabetic on a statin. 

Okay, this explains why every other visit my PCP asks "Why aren't you taking a statin?" I give the smartass answer "Because you haven't prescribed it." Then she orders blood work for the next time, and I'm still in the normal range.

Or OP could have taken it to her own home, and MIL or ex pick it up there.

ETA: Actually that would have inconvenienced MIL/ex, so it would have been a win!

INFO: Why is your friends list NOT locked to "Only Me"?

It depends on the particular type of farm, the product(s) and size. A family apple orchard that only draws from about an hour radius will have land and equipment, but very little for cash on hand. It sort of goes in cycles. There will be the poor season when you're buying stuff for next year on credit, then paying it off with the harvest. If the crop fails, though, you're screwed.