My partner is allergic but knew that no cats would be a no go for me lol. He was kind enough to be willing to sign himself up for allergy shots. It’s been about 4 years now and they’ve made a significant improvement for him. In addition to the cat allergies, the shots factor in some of his other allergies as well. He also takes Zyrtec almost every day. And because allergies are a bitch and even this much treatment can’t stop the occasional flare up, he keeps children’s liquid Benadryl on hand. Apparently it hits the bloodstream sooner than pills and his allergist recommended it for flare ups. He also received an albuterol inhaler for when he has these attacks which has helped a lot.

We have 3 air purifiers. Two on the main level. One in the living room and one in his office. The third is in our bedroom. We also have the litter bot, and we sweep daily and have a lint roller in pretty much every room. The couch is lint rolled constantly. I always make sure to lint roll before getting into our cars. And he knows if he’s going to snuggle with them with the cats all up in his face, he’ll have an attack.

With all these precautions in place, he still has a sneezing or coughing fit at least once a week. Often times in the middle of the night. So please understand that if you’re allergic to cats, you’ll need to take drastic measures to be able to actually live with one, and even then, you still won’t be 100% good the way you would be without the allergens (in this case the cat) in the house. For perspective, we have pretty good health insurance through BCBS, and we’ve probably spent about $10–15k on his allergy shots over the last 4 years. Luckily I have an HSA that can pay for it, but it’s not cheap. I’m not trying to be a downer. Just want to be honest about the road ahead if you’re going to have cats and manage your allergies.

That’s nice of you! Cat sitting seems simple until it’s time to clean the litter box! Maybe take extra effort to clean up their house? I mean the annoying stuff. Wiping baseboards and whatnot. Otherwise, you could prepare some meals that can be frozen for future use with instructions on reheating, purchase a gift card for Uber eats or a local place they like ordering from. Snack baskets are nice too. Maybe see if the lawn needs mowing, ensure trash is taken out when it needs to be. Etc.

If the headquarters is in CA, and there are 50 employees within 75 miles of the HQ, and all other criteria are met, then you are eligible for FMLA. Your HR team will tell you if you’re eligible or not. They won’t screw you on this, they’ll be honest. It’s illegal for them not to be. It’s rare you’d ever find a company corrupt enough to deny FMLA to someone who is eligible.

Directly from SHRM:

An employee who works remotely (75 miles or more from the employer's office) is covered under the FMLA if the office to which the employee reports and from which assignments are made has 50 or more employees working within 75 miles of its location.

Are there 50 or more employees who work remotely for your company within 75 miles of the official company address? The other employees’ distance from you isn’t a factor, because although you work remotely, the work you do is assigned from a particular office location.

There’s no requirement but it is absolutely the right thing to do to cut access during leaves like this.

Honestly probably just be lame and prank call people 🤣

This makes sense, thanks. I don’t agree with it I guess because I don’t think that personal relationships should be deemed more or less important based on the biological relationship. I’m lucky enough though to be at a company where we aren’t strict about this for that reason. I didn’t consider the blue collar vs white collar aspect either. That makes a lot of sense that the policy might be stricter in a blue collar setting.

How is the misuse of confuse and conflate ironic? I’m genuinely asking. English is my first language and I consider myself a pretty smart person. I have never heard the word conflate before and had to look it up. 😂 Even after seeing the definition of the word, I don’t see how it’s ironic that people would mix that word with the word confuse?

I see. Your comment is written as and comes across as those being your own views and opinions. No need for the “calm down there killer” rude comment.

Wait, is this normal? This seems absurd to me. When we have employees report they’re taking time off for bereavement we just trust that. It seems aggressive to make them prove that someone they know died by sending you a published obituary with their name on it. What if they aren’t a close family member so they’re not disclosed in the obituary? What if they forget to to save and then provide you with a program from the funeral, which is reasonably likely to happen bc they’re not thinking of their employer while mourning a dead relative or friend? Not to mention I’ve gone to plenty of funerals and wakes where “programs” aren’t provided. It’s not a graduation or something. I’m not even asking to be rude. I’m truly asking what would you do in this situation? Deny them bereavement pay? Policies like this just put additional stress on someone who’s already going through a terrible time.

“HR has no clue how the business makes a profit and stays in their clique” is inaccurate. It might be your personal experience, but it’s not true in most cases. Have you heard of an HR business partner? The role is dedicated to partnering with the business functions in the org. The role is centered around understanding how the business works. That statement is super closed minded.

Tell me, in detail, how HR is like the cops in this scenario? Troll.

I think a lot of people are completely uneducated about everything that we do. We do so much and we advocate so much for employees, but it’s just like a general customer service role. If the person isn’t happy with their job, the go to is to blame HR. Meanwhile, I’m over here in the background telling a manager to stop being a dick to somebody. That somebody just doesn’t know that that’s happening in the background because there’s no reason to share that with them. It’s mildly infuriating.

This is very real. My house always had a towel hanging on the rod. If it was dry, that was the towel you used. Didn’t matter if it had been used by someone previously. We were poor 🤷🏼‍♀️

It’s weird because growing up we had a “community towel” essentially 😂 There would be a fresh towel hung on the rod, and if it was dry by the time it was your turn to shower, it was expected to be reused. Otherwise, if it was wet, it would go in the hamper and we’d be able to use a fresh towel. The towel was replaced every morning at least with a fresh one. My mom and dad still do that.

But now, I’ll use a towel for up to a week before replacing it with a fresh one. Some factors change this. Like if I didn’t hang it properly and it dried smelling musty, it goes straight to the hamper. If I use it to wipe down the sink or a wet spot on the floor, it goes to the hamper. I have a set of hair towels I use and replace less frequently, simply because I don’t wash my hair every time I shower. So those might go 2-3 weeks between swapping them out, but still only see about 5 uses for drying within those few weeks. I don’t use washcloths because I hate the feeling of wet towel on skin. The only other towel would be the hand towels in the bathroom, which get replaced probably once a week.

Hahaha that’s so funny bc my niece said “lich-relly” to me recently while being sassy about something and before I could even process it her dad was roasting her for it. She for SURE got it from YouTube 😂

If someone wants to visit, I ask my partner first. It’s not really an “ask” because I know he won’t say no. But I do want his input as to which weeks are easier for him to accommodate a guest based on his work and availability. Two friends coming to visit in the same month is a lot. My partner is so sweet and supportive but even he would be like “are you kidding me?” if this was the situation. I think the fact that you had to get a vacation rental to accommodate one jerk spouse sucks. I get it, it sounds like the best option. But it’s still not ideal and your spouse was understanding and didn’t put up an argument. Then you have another friend visiting around the same time. He’s probably just overwhelmed. I sure would be, even if it was my own friends and not my SO’s friends.

I should also mention that “someone wanting to visit” is my sister or my best friend. Both of these women have a good relationship with my partner, so it’s easy. Even though he likes my other friends he would likely be uncomfortable and reluctant to have them stay with us.

I had the opposite experience when I went on my first and only cruise in 2019. Everyone was so happy and nice and polite. Of course people stuffed themselves at the buffet, myself included. Not sure why that matters to you. We had the same waiter every night, as did everyone on the cruise. And our group as well as many others got to know them and ask questions about their lives and their travel. I didn’t see anyone being rude to the staff, although I’m sure it happens.

I really do. He has a stronger moral compass than most people I’ve ever met. He respects and cares for me. I don’t even think he’d cuddle with his celeb crush. I think he’d spend a lot of time getting to know them and ultimately be disappointed, turned off, and ready to come home to me 🤣

I love this post. Life really is so great. To add to your amazing list, here are some things I love and live for:

Being trusted to be the person people rely on, the feel of sunshine hitting you through the window of your car or a random window in a building, having animals who love and care for you in their own weird way, going on drives to clear your head. That feeling when it’s the perfect temp outside and you don’t feel hot or cold. The feeling of having someone text you to make sure you got home safely.

Weed. My partner and I smoke 1-3 joints a day, typically over the course of a few hours at the end of each day. More on days when we’re truly having a day to ourselves. I haven’t taken a break from weed smoking in about 15 years beyond random trips where it wasn’t available to me. That said, I don’t get grumpy when I can’t have it. I’ve gone on week long business trips without it and don’t feel any craving for it or angst about not having it. My partner has taken “tolerance breaks” for a month or longer a few times in our relationship. I don’t crave it the way I might crave a coffee or an alcoholic drink. It’s just there when I want it and I choose to want it daily lol

I generally wear what I have on from beginning of day to end. But I definitely notice they smell strong midday through end of day. Not a bad smell, but I can smell myself and it makes me anxious. Like if I go into the office for the day, I’m sweating in that area and feeling gross bc I don’t have my usual wipes that I have at home, and wish I could change my underwear midday. When I’m working from home for the day, wearing leggings, I will literally take my underwear off around 5pm to go just leggings until my night time shower. I guess in an ideal world, I’d be in a position to be able to discreetly change my underwear by 3pm to feel fresh through the rest of the night lol.

I suppose I have been. It wasn’t a person I would’ve ever taken seriously or considered dating. It was someone attractive who said something very similar actually. It was something like “idk why you wear all that makeup” and I responded with something along the lines of “because I fucking like to,” and it turned into some aggressive back and forth followed by some flirting and eventually sex lol. Generally though, not something I would ever pursue if a man spoke to me like that. At the time I was interested in a sexual relationship with him and I didn’t mind that we didn’t check each others boxes. I cared about one thing and one thing only 😆

Oooh so you’re CRAZY crazy. Gotcha.

“Any of you” ? Who does that refer to? I’m not attempting to teach you English etiquette, and it’s sad that you associate using curse words with lack of intelligence. I’m attempting to show you that your choice of words is offensive, derogatory, and has years of history backing it. Have you literally never heard of the movie “The Help?”

And it’s not demeaning in only my mind, the phrase has a negative history that shouldn’t be ignored. The whole thesaurus thing isn’t even relevant. You said the thesaurus says the single word “help” is matched to strong employee. The phrase you’re using, “the help” isn’t accounted for in this weird defense you’ve concocted.