I mostly post in comedy subs for amusing answers. I'll make a real post someday (like the trueoffmychest post I'm working on).

That looks a lot like my pillow.

Not entirely sure, I remember my shower thoughts like I remember my dreams.

At least he didn't pee in his mouth.

What's your favorite thing to talk about?

Inspecting penguin's death

"Damn. This killer's cold as ice."

"Hi, K911? Yeah, my owner took my babies and gave them away to some strangers."

Pretty much all my guilty pleasures and a lot of the nostalgic ones.