Young Chuck Norris boom we win

I’ll take the food , reason because I might want to quit my current job actually I really want to quit my job. And 100k is nice but never having to worry about food and being able to cook whatever I want is better.

Bold of you to assume that I wasn’t already, that’s why I’m working

Never seen a stoner start a fist fight that was in any way threatening but are always hilarious. So stoners

Sorry I ate some Taco Bell before I went on a walk around the lake , don’t tell the EPA please

Saying UMMMMmmmmm at the drive thru

A blow.....you thought I was going to say job didn't you ? Nope a blowtorch

David hasselhoff , you done good hasselhoff, you've done good

They only do it if the other country has oil

The poison to life is society.

You know for a therapist, you're pretty judgemental

Run just run it doesn't get better, they can be super nice and sweet but eventually after a couple of years you will be praying for the sweet release of death. Too nice to break up but annoying enough you want to is hell. Don't worry about being a jerk you will never see her again and you will hopefully meet a woman who is nice to you but definitely has the balls to tell you the truth, instead of that hyperactivity anxiety fill person who will do nothing but walk on eggshells around you and tell you all about her fan fictions nonstop. Just run dude, run away and never return.

Even with the lining I still end up with a visible outline of my Johnson so yeah I wear boxers. Especially after I was standing and talking to a buddy and his girlfriend on the ground got up and handed me a towel because my dick was basically right in front of her face.

its a ballpark frank, it plumps when you cook it

A GOD DANG CALCULATOR!!!!!!!!!!

The great state of denial that any state will be any better than the last

you defintely need to eat more than snacks, some people call it meal prep which i hate its home economics as it was called when it was taught in schools in the last century. basically using a slow cooker to have leftovers for ahead of time whether it is a stew or pot roast. also making sides macaroni salad , mashed potatoes, or coleslaw. and sticking them in the fridge to be eaten later. your efforts in the kitchen should be able to gain you more than one meal. I'm a strong believer that we have been completely lie to with the concept of cooking one big meal at a time.

I buy gound meat in bulk, never one pound at a time. turn it into patties ,no special ingredients just meat, separate them on parchment paper, put them in an air tight container and freeze them. cook them up when i need to with just salt, top them with maybe an onion & pickles, whatever condiments i feel like at the time and they are just as good as most burgers you would get from whatever fast food chain. i make sausage patties also for multiple breakfasts in the same fashion. yes i could buy the premade one but they never come out as good for some reason, i like the top and bottom to crisp properly not how the premade one get stuck to the pan. for pancakes if i want some that week , i make a bowl of batter in a bowl with a sealing top and pull it out as needed from the fridge.

basically this is how our great grandparents did it. its not all in one go but to just set ourselves up for the week over multiple days. one day i might make biscuits"american scones" to last a few days. then the next i will whip up a batch of cookies"american biscuits" i didn't realize how confusing describing american baking to someone in another country was going to be lol. it usually only takes 30 minutes or so and its not that labor intensive. i have made both while falling asleep standing up, you got to love how us in the U.S. have not enough worker's right lol *silently crying on the inside*

but cooking is not a chore so long as you do the work ahead of time, so it far easier to eat better when you are exhausted. best of luck to you

I love what you do for me TO-YOTA

Z👑

Naw I got second place against your mom

Buy ? Yeah I can't even afford to even look at 2 ply toilet paper right now

Umm this isn't hypothetical this is capitalism in action.

And I don't care I wouldn't take it, but I definitely would pardon anyone who does, ............pardon from life now where's my melting stick

That hole is the middle is a huge property tax hole , time to annex it by force hehehe. Block all access to the city of Dallas roads and leave highland park with the only exit to the DNT. What? The residents of highland will get exactly what they really want, a gated community but instead of keeping Dallas residents out it keeps highland park residents in. Obviously a joke sprinkled with a little discontent for the affluent.

Prison because I would rather have my imprisonment out in the open vs the illusion of freedom I currently have.

In that case I always say "thank God I was having a panic attack thinking you were single and needed an ego boost , um where's the bathroom?"