One of the most consistent things about Conservatives is not even having a surface level understanding of things until it happens directly to them.

You can tell them over and over and over again that the stove will burn their hand if they touch it, and they'll laugh and call you a snowflake until they do... and then they scream and say that NO ONE should touch hot stoves, it's just not right!

And then if you tell that the microwave oven over there will also burn their hand if they touch it, they'll laugh and call you a snowflake cause 'that's not a stove!'

'As usual' is the key part here.

The MAGA crowd already accuses their enemies of doing the worst to justify their own heinous behavior and attempts to game the system. It doesn't matter what Biden does, they already think he's a tyrant.

He has no reason not to exercise his power to protect the US from a dictatorship. He has a moral obligation, in fact.

No, see, he's not saying that Republicans don't get emotional.

It's that Republicans have no concept of emotional support. They 'tough it out' and 'get over it' and remain emotionally unstable, unhinged, and miserable their entire lives because it's Unmanly to think about their emotions.

Oh, nice catch! That narrows the timeframe significantly.

I think the Marika/Radagon split is simply something that's part of the shaman/Numen people, where they have divided aspects fused within themselves, but that's honestly a bit of a guess. The only other example is Miquella and Trina, which provides precedence for fused individuals splitting apart, but still no explanation for why they're able to do that.

Runes, on the other hand, are pretty straightforward: they're part of the Elden Ring, either the blessings it gives or pieces of the Ring itself, in the case of the Great Runes. And the Elden Ring (same as the Elden Beast) is the physical manifestation of the concept of Order. Therefore, Runes in general can be summed up as 'concepts given physical form', and the Elden Ring is the set of concepts that govern the Order of the whole world. Hence why breaking the Ring broke the world, confining the Rune of Death made beings immortal, and the Mending Runes change the whole world.

My Elden Ring Backstory Theory of EverythingSpoiler :spoiler:

So I've been thinking, and I think with the facts the DLC gave us, I've come up with a general outline of what I believe to be the full story of the Lands Between and its cosmology! Obviously there's speculation and assumptions here, but I'll try to keep to the known facts as much as possible.

We start with the Greater Will, an entity of supreme power, possibly an Outer God. It dwelt in the lightless abyss of space, alongside many other celestial beings.

The latent power given off by these distant beings is what is called the Primeval Current, a malleable power so distant and melded from their sources that it lacks an identity of its own, and can take many shapes, embodied in the substance Glintstone.

These beings included Gods and stars, and most notably, its daughter, Metyr.

Metyr descended to the Lands Between as a shooting star, and created life in her own image: Fingercreepers and Two Fingers, and presumably the Three Fingers as well. It's possible that Metyr had a certain amount of arrogance or narcissism in this regard.

However, she is described as 'broken and abandoned', despite longing for a message from the Greater Will, implying that she craved her progenitor's favor, but her efforts failed to earn it. Instead, the Greater Will intervened directly, sending down the Elden Beast as a second shooting star, which, in the form of the Primeval Crucible, began to produce life.

The ancient days of the Crucible are shrouded in mystery, including their timescale, but we know that the following things happened:

-All manner of life gradually emerged from the Crucible, starting with the dragons and beastmen and gradually forming more humanlike beings. The more bestial something was, the more it seems to hold the Crucible's inherent divine power, having natural abilities as opposed to the more mundane humans.

-The dragons rose to power under Elden Lord Placidusax and his god, brandishing the primordial form of the Elden Ring, whose composition determines the order of the world. The identity of this god, and how they ascended, is unknown.

-Other Outer Gods began to interfere with life in the Lands Between. The dead were burned in ghostflame, and the Scarlet Rot emerged and its Outer God was sealed away.

-Metyr began to impersonate the Greater Will through her Two Fingers.

-The Nox civilization rose, and either offended the Greater Will or Metyr-as-Greater-Will, which led to their exile underground and eventual destruction at Astel's hands.

-The Fire Giants arose thanks to the Fell God (potentially an Outer God), and started a longstanding rivalry with the humanoid ice warriors of Zamor.

-The ancient civilization of Ruah, Uhl, and Uld rose and fell, potentially due to the influence of the Rot Outer God.

-The astrologers of the Mountaintops begin to study fate in the night sky.

There was a time when the god of Placidusax 'fled', their whereabouts unknown, leaving the Elden Ring unclaimed, and we can presume for a time that the Lands Between were without a god. We can consider this the end of the 'ancient times', and a point in which recorded history starts to take on a traceable order.

A group of those blessed by the Crucible, the Hornsent, considered themselves divine and wished to pursue greater divinity. They began work on Enir-Ilim, trying to build a tower to reach 'the gods', likely referring to the Outer Gods or the Greater Will.

Living nearby were the shamans, a people who also had something of the divine Crucible in them-- the ability for their bodies to fuse harmoniously, as all life was fused in the Crucible (an ability that later become the foundation of the cruder art of grafting).

The Hornsent decided to exploit this ability, harvesting the shaman into saints, and using them to construct the Gate of Divinity atop Enir-Ilim, a concentration of divinity that was meant to turn mortals into gods.

However, there was a survivor of this slaughter: Marika. Somehow managing to escape the genocide, she met the Two Fingers in the Finger Ruins near her home, and together, they hatched a plan. With its aid, she ascended Enir Ilim and crossed the Gate. Perhaps because she was of the same stock as the shamans making up the gate, she could make full use of it, and became a true god.

Here the timeline gets a bit hazy again-- the Lands Between and the Realm of Shadow hadn't yet been split by Marika's 'obscuring', an act that presumably would require her to have claimed the Elden Ring. But that act would require her to have an Elden Lord by her side, and while Godfrey was her first Elden Lord, her firstborn son, Messmer, is clearly Radagon's son. Additionally, when the Erdtree (and its shadow) actually grew from the Crucible (and how long that took) is unclear. So I'm going to make a few assumptions going forward:

-Marika and Radagon had Messmer prior to ascending to godhood, but when they ascended, he became a demigod.

-Radagon was secretly the true 'first' Elden Lord (not counting Placidusax)

-The Fingers gave Marika a shadow in the form of Maliketh, who fought the Gloam-Eyed Queen who wielded the power of Destined Death, an aspect of the Elden Ring. She was an Empyrean chosen by a rival Fingers, like Marika's trying to earn the favor of Metyr. Sealing way Destined Death was an essential aspect of what she did next.

-Marika's act of making contact with the Elden Beast/Ring and claiming it was the birth of the Golden Order: it grew the Erdtree to provide blessings to the Lands Between, and grew the Scadutree to split off and confine the Realm of Shadow.

She sent Messmer into the Realm of Shadow to rain burning retribution down on the Hornsent, a vicious crusade. However, Marika found herself ashamed of what she'd done-- she abandoned Messmer in the Realm of Shadow as a scapegoat, and divorced from her other self, as Radagon was her aspect of desiring order and vengeance. He would go on to the north to fight for the Golden Order, coming into conflict with House Caria, descended from the astrologers, and eventually become Renalla's husband.

The creation of the Erdtree was an unmistakable challenge to the powers of the world, and Marika took on Godfrey as her Elden Lord to lead her armies against any challenger. These comparatively valiant wars in defense of the Golden Order didn't need to be expunged, and hardened Marika to the exercise of power to sustain her authority. Now unnecessary, Marika discarded the brutish Godfrey and his armies by revoking the Grace of Gold, banishing them from the Lands Between as she reunited with her other self, though they'd been apart long enough that the melding wasn't yet perfect, and there remained disagreements between them.

By now, Marika was starting to have some suspicions about the Two Fingers and the Greater Will, unaware that the Fingers had essentially used Marika to usurp the Elden Ring on behalf of Metyr, giving her indirect authority over the world her progenitor had taken from her.

But all was well, for the time-- she had godlike power, dominion over the Lands Between, and those marked by the Crucible were oppressed as vengeance for what the Hornsent had done to her. More than that, she had a family again, people she cared about so much that she extracted the concept of Death from the very order of the world in order to preserve. There were some issues:

-A group of nomads was accused of summoning the Flame of Frenzy, and terrified by childhood stories of the Three Fingers and its Abyssal Woods, Marika buried them alive. Unbeknownst to her, this only secured the Fingers' summoning.

-Some of her own children with Godfrey had been born Omen, which horrified her but she couldn't bring herself to kill them.

-Her new children with Radagon were born afflicted...

...but they and Ranni were Empyreans, candidates to take her place one day, and the future seemed secured.

And then someone killed her favorite son. Godwyn the Golden, murdered by a piece of Death itself that she'd assumed safely hidden away, suffering the most horrifying and repugnant kind of death imaginable. Perhaps she even learned it was the doing of one of her own daughters, it's impossible to know.

This sent a message of despair to Marika: No matter how much she fought and killed, no matter her godhood, she could not make herself immune to loss-- for all its power, for what she truly needed, the Elden Ring was utterly impotent. And she knew that (at least what she thought of as) the Greater Will and its vassals did not have her best interests at heart.

Bringing all the divine strength granted by the Gate of Divinity to bear, she shattered the useless and hated thing, ruining the plans of both Metyr and the genuine Greater Will in one fell swoop.

From there, the Shattering ensued, and the rest is the story of the game and DLC!


Here are some things that I couldn't fit anywhere:

-I've been trying to nail down some essential difference between Sorceries and Incantations, and while it's hard to say anything for sure, I think I have a promising concept:

--Incantations channel the power of things that are present in the world, either with a direct connection to, or a presence of some kind under the influence of the Erdtree. They're close, so to gain their power, you need to offer fealty in the form of Faith, or profound insight into their being in the form of Arcane. Incantations are from things that, like it or not, exist inside the Order.

--Sorceries channel the power of distant things, and things that predate the Erdtree. The pure powers of death, powers derived directly from Metyr, or the Blood Star, or the Primeval Current/Glintstone/all things associated with that malleable blue power. Even the Scadutree, which is the symbol of exile from the Erdtree's influence. These things only require the knowledge with which to channel the latent power they give off-- they don't require fealty to or consent from their sources. Sorceries are from things that deviate from the Order.

---The Staff of the Great Beyond unifies these things: As it's derived from Metyr, who is both outside the influence of the Erdtree and a direct connection to the Greater Will, it makes no distinction between the two powers.

-I have no idea what to do with Mt. Gelmir and serpents. They seem pretty disconnected with everything else. Presumably they have a connection with Messmer and his snakes? If there's some common entity there, it eludes me.

The problem isn't that the bosses are too hard...SpoilerSpoilers

...it's that they're hard in such a way that the amount of tools you actually have access to is sharply limited.

Even in the base game, most of the flashiest spells and skills are utterly useless simply because you have to stand in place during their windup, and in SotE they're not even an option. I love being a mage, but try as I might, every single fight where I tried to be a mage ended up bullying me until I was forced to take out my Moonlight Greatsword and meekly slash away, essentially just a less efficient, less tanky warrior build.

Spells have been 'stand in place and cast for a certain amount of time' ever since DeS, but I think this latest DLC is when that part of the Souls formula is finally creaking towards its breaking point. If the games are gonna demand constant motion, then spells and skills need to function in such a way that you can use them and still be reactive. Like, for example, maybe decoupling the cast time from the spell-- you charge up the spell a la Samus from Smash, then release it instantly later, and the charge progress can be canceled and retained instantly when you release the button.

I love the DLC a lot, but honestly, I am pretty tired of being jealous of the bosses who are allowed to do all sorts of cool things, while we have to patiently wait our turn to do a few piddly hits of damage while our pale imitations of their super-attacks are forever denied to us.

Potentially unpopular, but IMO most Fantasy.

When it comes to putting Fantasy into live-action, the most fantastical elements are the first things to be cut. When it comes to Fantasy, anything live-action can do, animation can do better.

Two kinds of exceptions to this: Fantasy with no fantastical elements whatsoever (like medieval fantasy without magic) can work in live-action cause there's nothing there to cut, and then there's the One Piece Live-Action, which managed to preserve the fantasy above and beyond any other attempted live-action adaptation, while also elevating the work with better pacing and characterization. If something's going to insist on being live-action, that's the example they should take after.

That's literally the message of the comic. People getting so theatrically exasperated about how 'overused' the term is that they don't look over to see that it's being used entirely accurately.

You can't 'overuse' a term like that, only apply it inaccurately. When you call people with actual fascistic aspiration a fascist, repeatedly, it doesn't get any less true. When that fascist turns around and says 'you're the REAL fascists!' they're obviously incorrect.

Of the terms above, communist is the only one commonly misapplied, directed at people who want the US to do the same basic things that a lot of other countries do, like sane healthcare. But oh noooo, that's communism, and meanwhile corporations getting huge support from the government is just good ol' capitalism.

I don't have the budget for paid beta reading, sorry. And this doesn't seem like the subreddit for that.

Manuscript information: [Complete] [226k] [YA Epic Fantasy] Dragon Descent

Link to post: https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1dhoj1r/complete_226k_ya_epic_fantasy_dragon_descent/ 

First page critique? If you like!

First page:

The sky was never dark in Dormin. Sigils hung above the city, blotting out the stars with their light, looming, turning like great wheels. Each was unique, a different color and shape, bound by an outer ring that made them appear from below as vast, accusing eyes.

That night, they stared down at the streets of Dormin’s Lower Ring, where a monster lurked, and Dragonslayers hunted.

“It’ll lie,” Shel Baron said to his subordinates. “It’ll say anything to save itself.”

They walked down the center of a road cast in amber light, ostensibly an ordinary patrol of Dragonslayer trainees. A comfort to citizens, and a warning to visitors-- restricted only to this outermost Ring except with express permission-- to not cause trouble.

They wore only light armor. An unpretentious uniform of beige tunic, brown trousers, thick black boots, and a set of tassets around the waist. As a tradition, Dragonslayers tended not to wear much more.

Weighty armor, after all, hadn’t had much use against their namesakes.

“Don’t talk, don’t listen. No matter what it says. They’re good at sounding like people.”

Inhuman eyes. Staring from the darkness.

Shel paused. His head turned sharply to the left, red ponytail whipping with the motion. The mouth of an alley. On the street, the Sigil-glow was relatively soft and uniform, but in those closed spaces, the lines between light and darkness were stark.

Plenty of pitch-black places to hide.

Hey there, is this still open? :D I've got a 226k word manuscript I'd be willing to swap critiques on!

[Complete] [226k] [YA Epic Fantasy] Dragon Descent>100k

Hey there!

I'm looking for reader feedback on my debut novel, Dragon Descent. It's a story about the son of a Dragonslayer who is transformed into a dragon-hybrid, forced to flee into the wilderness as his friends hunt him.

If you like transformation, magic symbols, dragons, existential dread, or any combination of the above, I think it's something you'll like!

Content Warning:

I'm hoping to send out materials to prospective beta readers at the start of July, for a three month reading period! Any feedback is helpful, but my main goals for beta reading is figuring out which parts of the story could potentially be trimmed down or cut, and which parts should be kept.

I'd be more than happy to participate in Critique Swaps! :D I understand that such a high wordcount is a major commitment, so it'd only be fair.

Please reply if you're interested, and I'll DM you privately to hash out details!

Here is the prologue, and here is a back cover blurb:

LOOSE THE ARROW, THAT IT MAY PIERCE THE HEART OF EVIL

Dragons.

From the heart of the Maelstrom they came, and burned beauty from the world.

From the ashes came the Dragonslayers, with Magi beside them.

With their own magic, the Dragons were rendered extinct, and their victims avenged.

In the invincible city of Dormin, Pathi Harch is unwilling heir to this legacy.

Son of a storied Dragonslayer, he weathers the impossible task of succeeding her, even as the magic he longs for is kept beyond his grasp.

But in the divide between warrior and magician, he discovers a terrible secret.

Half-dragon monstrosities, born from stolen magic, lurk in Dormin’s shadows.

And when Pathi touches that magic, he becomes one.

Faced with execution at the hands of his friends and family, he flees his home in search of a cure.

What he finds instead will change him forever.

A transformation of body and soul. A bow, flexed tight, ready to fire.

LET FLY THE ARROW, THAT IT MAY SOAR

These are the parting gasps of a world wounded.

The first battles in the last and quiet war for its freedom.

I'm the sort of person who loves getting invaded, and only ever did Co-Op in previous games because the threat of invasions made it necessary. So Elden Ring's multiplayer scene felt extremely dead to me, as though I was playing it years later.

While I don't oppose Seamless Co-Op on principle, I reeeeally hope their 'considering of ideas' doesn't include excluding invasions entirely like that mod does. It wouldn't kill Fromsoft games to me, but it would be a massive blow.

I got into DeS cause the Summoning/Invading multiplayer in an otherwise singleplayer game was a fascinating concept to me, and there is still no other game series with a multiplayer style like that. Imitators, but none that have managed that same subtle push and pull, risk-reward tense feeling of constantly being under threat while you're alive, or completely cut-off from others while dead. I miss that.

The funniest thing is that I've seen variations of this meme for years, because there's always contingents upon contingents of right-wingers who aggressively miss the point of media they watch :y Peel back the layers and there will always be more conservatives that are upset because it 'suddenly started making fun of them'.

My conservative parents are diehard fans of Star Trek, for example.

It's infuriating seeing how prevalent this attitude is. And it's not just animation, either-- illustrations in novels used to be downright common in America way back when... but suddenly, when cameras and movies came out, people turned up their noses and now illustrations are vanishingly rare.

Meanwhile, it's still a common thing elsewhere.

The reason why Allomancy is Preservation is because to 'preserve' something means exerting external power to keep it the way it is. Without a constant influx of power, things tend to decay rapidly. The sun is a constant source of power, for example, and without it, the Earth would die quickly. Therefore, it 'preserves' us.

At least, that's how I think of it :y

It'd be a lot simpler if online conspiracies and propaganda didn't make my parents unbearable to be around for more than an hour at a time.

I'd love to live with them and my siblings and whatever kids they have in a big house where we all had enough space and supported each other... but not only would I never want to expose any of my friends to them, but they'd also invariably want to be the 'authority' in that house, and that's something I'm not willing to deal with.

I think the whole point of the scene was Dalinar owning up to the horrible things he did, including killing his wife, and how despite how terrible a person he was in the past, he's vowing to do better from now on.

But his wife's ghost coming back just to symbolically absolve him because he's doing a Good Thing... it just feels kinda weird, cause his wife was only one of the people he war crime'd. Obviously she would, cause that's the kind of person she was, but it does feel just a tad congratulatory.

Here's my theory:

The OIAR is a defense mechanism, possibly one that Jon/Martin's echoes in the Fear Entity influenced into being.

The goal of it isn't to stop the fears, that's impossible: It's to chop them up, as much as possible, atomize them to the point that any coherent method of categorizing them becomes impossible. That's the point of all the different filing categories in the OIAR computer system.

At the same time, they act as 'management' for the expressions of fear that exist, ensuring that, if they can't stop the horror from happening, they can at least keep track of it and make sure it doesn't become all-consuming.

It's consistently baffling to me how the thread of 'Don't vote for Biden' has been interwoven into the entirely-justified Palestine protest mentality.

Like, how did that happen? What exactly is the plan? How would Trump winning improve things? I am legitimately curious.

Protesting for Palestine isn't just not-mutually-exclusive with trying to keep fascists out of power, I'd argue it's resonant with it. If you're protesting something, you shouldn't want people in power that are going to make the thing you're protesting immediately worse.

You're going to want people in power that are most responsive to your protests. Democrats are piss-poor at that, sure, but Republicans literally do not care about anything but advancing Christofascism.

What this dumb graphic doesn't say is that their way of saying 'I don't care' is 'I am going to deadname and misgender you because it's my personal belief that you are not who you say you are.'

To which 'transphobic piece of shit' is an entirely reasonable response.

They're trying to paint gay people as 'preferable' because pretending they don't exist requires no effort on the part of the asshole, while pretending trans people don't exist requires more effort. Both, of course, are equally asinine.

I don't blame anyone for not wanting to vote for Biden, given how complicit in and supportive of genocide he's been.

I do, however, blame anyone who subscribes to the asinine idea that handing power over to right wing fascists will in any way make anything better. The only arguments for it are personal: 'I'd feel bad if I voted for Biden' or something that has never worked: 'We need to punish democrats so that they'll do better'.

The protests have a better chance of stopping the genocide than the vote does, and that's a hard truth. We're driving towards a brick wall, and we're going to hit it; I'm just advocating for pumping the brakes in the hope that we survive, instead of saying 'fuck it' and flooring it.

A while back, I'd probably say just the focus and dedication to get stuff down on the page.

It's less that now, and more tendonitis. :c Voltaren and wrist braces help, but all of my hobbies require the use of my hands, and with time that's taken a toll.