BetaReaders: Connecting Authors with Betas

r/BetaReaders31.4K subscribers6 active
Able to beta? Post here!Able to Beta

Welcome to the monthly r/BetaReaders “Able to Beta” thread!

Thank you to all the beta readers who have taken the time to offer feedback to authors in this sub! In this thread, you may solicit “submissions” by sharing your preferences. Authors who are interested in critique swaps may post an offer here as well, but please keep top-level comments focused on what you’re willing to beta.

Older threads may be found here. Authors, feel free to respond to beta offers in those previous threads.

Thread Rules
  • No advertising paid services.
  • Top-level comments must be offers to beta and must use the following form (only the first field is required):
    • I am able to beta: [Required. Let authors know what you’re interested—or not interested—in reading. This can include mandatory criteria or simply preferences, which might relate to genre, length, completion status, explicit content, character archetypes, tropes, prose quality, and so on.]
    • I can provide feedback on: [Recommended. This might include story elements you often notice as a reader (prose, pacing, characterization, etc.), unique expertise you have through a profession or hobby (teaching, nursing, knitting, etc.), or other lived experiences that may be relevant (belonging to a marginalized group, being a parent, etc.).]
    • Critique swap: [Optional. If you’re only interested in—or would prefer—swapping manuscripts, please note that here, along with the title of and link to your beta request post.]
    • Other info: [Optional.]
  • Beta offers should be specific. If you’re open to anything, or aren’t able to articulate specific criteria, then please refrain from commenting here. Instead, please browse the “First Pages” thread along with the rest of the sub—thanks to the formatting rules, posts are easily searchable by completion status, length, and genre.
  • Authors: we recommend against direct messages/chats. Reply to comments instead. If you message multiple people with links to your post and/or manuscript, Reddit may flag your account as spam (site-wide).
  • Authors may not spam. If a beta says they’re only looking for x and your manuscript is not x (or vice versa), please don’t contact them.
  • Replies have no specific rules. Feel free to ask clarifying questions, share a link to your beta request if it seems to be a good fit, or even reply to your own comment with information about your manuscript if you’re requesting a critique swap.
  • Please don't downvote rule-following users, even if they are not the right author/beta for you, as this can be discouraging to beta readers offering to volunteer their time as well as to authors requesting feedback. If you need to keep track of which comments you have reviewed, upvoting is a more positive alternative. Of course, if you see a rule-breaking comment, please report it to the mod team.

Thank you for contributing to our community!


For your copy-and-paste, fill-in-the-blanks convenience:

I am able to beta: _____

I can provide feedback on: _____

Critique swap: _____

Other info: _____


Pinnedby AutoModeratorModerator
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First pages: share, read, and critique them here!First Pages

Welcome to the monthly r/BetaReaders “First Pages” thread! This is the place for authors to post the first page (~250 words) of their manuscript and optionally request feedback, with the goal of giving potential beta readers a quick snapshot of the various beta requests in this sub.

Beta readers, please take a look at the below excerpts and reach out to any users whose work you’d be interested in reading. You may also provide authors with feedback on their first page if they have opted in to a first page critique.

Thread Rules
  • Top-level comments must be the first page, or a page-length excerpt (~250 words), of your manuscript and must use the following form:
    • Manuscript information: [This field is for the title of your beta request post ([Complete/In Progress] [Word Count] [Genre] Title/Description) ]
    • Link to post: [Please link to your beta request post so that potential betas may find additional information about your beta request, such as your story blurb and the type of feedback you're requesting. You may also link directly to your manuscript if you choose. However, please do not include any other information about your project in this thread; that's what your main beta request post is for.]
    • First page critique? [Optional. If you would like public feedback in this thread on your first page, you may opt-in here (in which case we encourage you to publicly critique another eligible first page in this thread). Otherwise, you do not need to include this field; we understand that some users may not be comfortable with public feedback, may not want their first page formally critiqued outside of the context of their manuscript as a whole, or may not feel their manuscript is ready for a single-page line-edit critique.]
    • First page: [Please include only the first ~250 words of your manuscript.]
  • Top-level comments that are too long (longer than 2,500 characters, all-inclusive) will be automatically removed. Please remember that this thread is only intended for the first 250-ish words of your manuscript. It's okay if your excerpt cuts off at an odd place: even a short selection is enough for most readers to determine if they're interested in your writing style (they'll message you if they want more). Shorter submissions keep this thread easily skimmable, so please, keep them short.
  • Multiple comments for the same project are not allowed in the same thread.
  • No NSFW content—keep it PG-13 and below, please. Excerpts that include explicit sexual content, excessive violence, or R-rated obscenities will be removed.
  • Critiques are only allowed if the author has opted in. If you requested a critique, we encourage you to publicly critique another eligible first page as a way of giving back to the community.

For your copy-and-paste, fill-in-the-blanks convenience:

Manuscript information: _____

Link to post: _____

First page critique? _____

First page: _____


Pinnedby AutoModeratorModerator
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[in progress] [110k] [dark fantasy] Another body at sea>100k

Good afternoon.

I'm just coming around to start edits and second draft of this dark fantasy. Just curious for some reader thoughts before I start.

It's a bit dark, maybe closing on cosmic horror, and certainly not an easy read. I have no intention of making it simple, or digestable for the general market but am still wondering general thoughts. Does it pace, does it make sense, is the character accessible?

Thanks for your input.

Cheers

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1X0RzDuFZTKcCmdkNh-vEEUTJxVPCYhrNzcjgOmE3Slc/edit?usp=drivesdk

[Complete] [91K] [Gothic Adult Urban Fantasy (with unreliable narrator)] The End of a Legend90k

Hi all,

I'm looking for beta readers for my newest novel. It's currently on its fourth draft and I need new sets of eyes to improve it. I'm also interested in doing a swap or two if your book has a similar genre and you're willing to read it regularly!

The blurb:

The day Velika Dulik watched her childhood friends burn, was the day she became haunted. Blaming herself for their deaths, she longs to kill the Legend that burned them so she can finally be free of her guilt and their torment. But the Legend is unkillable—at least, that’s what she believed for fifteen years.

Velika and her father have built a place for people like her in the City of Ghosts. When the Legend returns to the city and kills one of the Slum’s most prominent figures, Velika crosses paths with his son and newly-turned demon, Reza Barzegar, who thirsts for revenge. Her father sets them on a path to find the one weapon that could kill the Legend—but not before they uncover who has been plaguing the City of Ghosts.

Velika must choose between her own desires and her unwavering loyalty to her father, who wants her to find the weapon for him, so he can fulfill the mysterious destiny he has talked up for years. But with every day Velika and Reza fail to kill the Legend, the creatures that haunt them grow stronger, feasting upon their souls. Velika must give her ghosts the death they long for, or they -and her guilt- will consume her.

Let me know if you're interested and we can discuss our approach! :)

[In Progress] [7.7k] [Fantasy/Horror] Curse of Strahd fan-novel || Writing my finished CoS D&D campaign to be an audio-drama; Want feedback before recording the previewShort Story
Beta Read Request || Writing my finished campaign to be an audio-drama; Want feedback before recording the previewREQUEST FOR HELP / FEEDBACK

Hello all,

I am doing a thorough write up of my finished campaign, intending record & edit a-la a radio play novel or audio-drama podcast, like Magnus Archives. This will be a thorough break down of the campaign as a guide for aspiring DMs, full of "do"s & "don't"s, while being ad-free available on youtube & elsewhere as easy reference for others.

I very purposefully intend to make no money from this project so it'll be as available as possible to the community afterward.

If you're interested in helping with this, I'd very much appreciate some proof-readers/advisers for this ~12 page preview I've written. I intend to make it into a demo, and need fresh eyes before I do any recording.

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/11u80k418PUf0UxPjPWDz2q7ZYk66MfCbzqyK8UE1cNI/edit?usp=sharing

Much appreciated

Edit: Also, for those interested, I did post an AMA about this campaign, I'd be happy to answer questions there

[In Progress] [102K] [Horror, Thriller] Copper and Roses>100k

Hey y'all! This is my first ever attempt at writing something, and I'm really excited to share it! That being said, I also invite any and all criticism of my work. I understand that the thing in and of itself is pretty long, and I don't expect people to have works of similar length. So I would be perfectly fine with beat reading shorter works in exchange for people reading a few chapters of mine. Send me a personal message and we can work out all the details.

Trigger Warning: Substance Abuse, Depression, Blood, Gore

Summary: Jonas is a College student who has always lived on the fringes of society. Struggling with crippling loneliness as well as substance issues emerging from his traumatic childhood with his Mother and difficult relationship with his Uncle and Aunt. He lives out a dismal existence, doing what he can to survive and spending the majoirty of his money on pills or alcohol, supplied by his roomate and dealer Roman. But as time goes on, he begins to be tormented by nightmarish visions of his past, reliving the same guilt and terror he felt as a child. The story follows his spiral into insanity, coming into contact with the supernatural, and eventually falling off the deep end completely.

Again, send me a DM if you're interested! And tell me what you think of the summary too! Chances are that's what I'll use to pitch it!

[In Progress] [9.5k] [Fantasy/Sci-fi] The Stageplay (Experimental Fiction) Novelette

l'm writing a novel and l'm trying to implement a unique structure that will hopefully make the story more engaging. It would be awesome if I could get some fresh eyes to check it out to make sure it helps and doesn't hinder the story before I get too far. Also, I'm still relatively new with writing and question my skill in general. So comments on my general prose and dialogue is extremely helpful as well!

I have about 9500 words so far. Any general advice/criticism would be helpful too. Anything you're willing to help with.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tFZFGI25gYXTWUXICJ3vK1nIrhjB1o-RWqEWi-JelAE/edit?usp=sharing

Thanks a ton!

[in progress] [90,000] [coming of age, low fantasy] Summer in a year90k

Good afternoon

I'm now in ^ fourth draft of my coming of age, low fantasy novel and I'm hoping to get some feedback from 'cozy type' readers.

I've cut down the first couple chapters and I'm trying make the work more marketable. Also, more digestablenfor the reader just pulling this off the shelf. I've linked the first chapter, to gauge how my edits are going. If anyone wants more, please don't hesitate to ask.

Elevator pitch: After discovering a dying forest god, Sofia, a young homebody, embarks on an adventure to complete an age-old elf ritual known as the night sewing.

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MpIH7BenBW2NGPU3B7hfQ1DYWXCfcJ7IGOpII2cEq-M/edit?usp=drivesdk

[Complete] [49k] [Adventure, Coming of Age] Farryn40k

Life is not easy for Farryn, orphaned and alone. She has spent the last nine years of her life as little more than an indentured servant, sleeping in the kitchens with only the ghosts of her past as company, dreaming of freedom. Determined to be finally free, Farryn cuts off her past, and journeys across the kingdom of Jurel, with one goal, and one mantra.

Find Her.

Content warnings: Child abuse, implied sexual assault, sickness Excerpt: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xJFEMnCBloP3BQOjaObArDH9zNiXsD7uNn_8M2_vUAM/edit?usp=sharing (The Beginning)

Hi! I've beta read a bit but haven't actually submitted anything on here.

This is a adventure/coming of age/fantasy (I honestly don't know) story I've been working on. It follow Farryn, the titular character, on her journey to find her sister who she was separated from. She meets and makes friends with several people along the way, and when she finds her sister all is not as expected.

This piece is just going on Wattpad (this is a re-written version, aka my Draft 2) so I'm not looking for anything too rigorous or specific. It also means that the chapters are a bit episodice in nature.

My main look fors are:

  • Repetitions
    • I know I repeat words/phrases a lot (like wrest) but sometimes I get blind to it
  • Storyline
    • Is it confusing?
    • Is it convoluted/ does it just not make sense?
  • Mystery
    • Does the buildup to the murder in The Beginning feel satisfying?
    • Does the mystery of Nevan's death feel intriguing, or like an unimportant side plot?
    • Is it obvious Claud is hiding something? Does Farryn's reaction to the revelation seem adequate?
  • Fight scenes
    • I just suck at writing fight scenes. This is mostly regarding the fight scene in Chapter 5- Part 5
  • Relationships
    • Does the relationship between Farryn and Luli feel properly built up
    • Do any characters feel one dimensional or just abandoned?
  • General rating and thoughts

I'd hope for the critique to be done sometime before August 1st, but I can go as far as the 15th if need be.

If you would like to beta, please leave a comment here, and reach out to me through DMs and I will share the PDF/ Word document.

Thank you in advance!

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[In Progress] [3.3K] [Isekai/Action/Romance] A Mary-Sue's Guide to Character DevelopmentShort Story

Hello! So, this is kind of my first time writing a story.. ever. However it is a story I've been workshopping for years of my life. It means the world to me. For that reason I'd love to make it the best that it can be and would be honored to get some feedback/critiques on the prologue I've written!

Edit: Warning for little bits of fantasy gore! Stay safe. : )

https://docs.google.com/document/d/17rdVXu32F9pKaG7FKiPkMSbIwiNfMKJWKC3pwtbPPiA/edit?usp=sharing

[Complete] [88k] [Coming of Age/Americana] The Trust80k

Hi. Looking for beta readers to give feedback on story, flow, character development and content. It is a finished second draft.

Summary: Fifteen year old Cal Calloway has his whole life ahead of him. Working to save up for his dream car, a '66 Mustang he is planning to rebuild, his sophomore year is upended when a new girl, Heather Collins transfers to his school. She starts as an object of his infatuation, but grows into a soul mate he needs for his survival as his teenage choices create devastating consequences for his family and his future. But in the darkness, there is a ray of hope Cal clings to that threatens to destroy his family further. Believing it is easier to face the future when you shove down the past, Cal comes face to face with loss and hope on his journey to forgive himself.

Themes: Adolescence to Adulthood, Family Turmoil, Loss, Redemption

Warnings: Adult situations, drug use, death

Snippet: (First 300 words)

Unsteady steps crushed the tall grass flat, each footfall drowned in the swell of the tree leaves rustling in the warm breeze. In the shadowy glow of a summer moon, Cal caught Derrick’s eyes, both boys frozen, glued to the ground. The shuffling stopped, the labored breath raspy from a smoker’s lungs.

“Who’s there?” Old Moe groused into the night sky, oblivious to the figures hidden only feet away in the bushes overgrowing his chain-link fence. An ancient shotgun dangled precariously from arthritic hands, swinging lazily across the dark horizon in search of intruders. Cal tried not to breathe, his eyes glued on the weapon until he felt a jab in his ribs. He turned to see Derrick making a face mocking Moe’s bourbon-addled antics. Cal squeezed his eyes tightly and held his breath, willing himself not to laugh as a snort fought to escape. Eyes still closed, he mouthed, “Stop!” to a grinning Derrick while the old man slowly ambled back towards his front door. 

Just because he was harmless didn’t mean you wanted to get caught. Everyone knew Old Moe was ornery, but anyone whose nightly routine included whisky in one hand and a firearm in the other was best avoided. The deadbolt snicked into place, a single bulb illuminating the home that doubled as Lester’s Salvage and Junkyard. Sixty seconds passed before Cal quietly nudged Derrick up. “Give me a boost”.

Thankfully, Moe hadn’t found a replacement for Brutus after he had been put down last year. He probably believed his cantankerous personality and the Remington 12 gauge to be enough to keep thieves and the odd trespasser at bay. The boys jogged past row after row of imports and domestics from the last few decades, all in some state of disrepair. Cal didn’t need moonlight to know exactly where he was going. At the back of the property, the older and less frequently accessed models sat, mostly untouched by the everyday comings and goings of the salvage clientele. And even with tires flat from dry-rot and a missing passenger door, the 1966 Mustang looked like a showroom muscle car as the boys slowed to a walk, taking in the view.

[In Progress] [11.5K] [Memoir] The Memoirs of an Autistic Twenty Year Old from the UKNovelette

I wrote my memoirs about 30 pages and want someone to read them its about my autism and anxiety and all i remember from my childhood and school days. IDK if they are good or not but we will see.

CONTENT WARNING (as others have posted content warnings)

sexual content, bullying et cetera

[Complete] [3700] [YA Romance] You and MeShort Story

Hey everyone, I'm reaching out with some exciting (and a bit nerve-wracking) news. My YA romance manuscript recently went through the full proposal stage with a publisher, and although it wasn't picked up this time, I'm determined to make it even better! I’m looking for beta readers who can provide honest feedback, specifically for my first chapter. If you enjoy reading YA romance and have some time to spare, I'd love your input. I need harsh feedback, so that I can improve my first chapter. And, if you want we can swap our works.

[COMPLETE][9.5K][COMIC SCRIPT][HORROR/COMEDY] Hell On Up: book 1nsfwNovelette

Hey! I completed this script as my Nano rebel project last year. I'm hoping to get this all revised into something I can illustrate into a 100 page graphic novel volume. I'll probably post it on tapas and/or r/comics once I get done illustrating it. I've played w the idea of just illustrating the comic with the comic as is. Buuut I figured it'd be better to get some fresh eyes on it. It's admittedly my baby and I want it to come out as good as possible.

The synopsis is this:

(CW: sexual abuse mentioned, religious themes, smoking)

After dying at the hands of his sexual abuser, the playroom killer, Fuzzball Romano, a former comedian, decides to enter Satan's employ. Trading laughs per minute for screams per minute. With the unholy power to take his revenge, comes two tutors. The sharp dressed, cigar chomping bringer of financial ruin, Mephisto. And the stoic, scantily clad executioner demon named Heinrich. Together they make the Slovakian village of Bozci Hrad their classroom. But they do not stand opposed. Iveta, the reluctant nun, is sent to Bozci hrad after getting caught getting nasty with her boyfriend. She's more interested in ranting to her friends about her position in life and smoking cigs. But as she notices the weird world of Bozci Hrad, she starts to also notice Father Denis. He's the mysterious old monk at the monastery who's seen all of it before. To a suspicious degree. Will fuzzball become the best demon ever? Will Iveta leave the nunnery? Will we ever find out what's going on with Father Denis? Read on to find out.

I'd really like to get this beta reading done as soon as possible so I can get to illustrating it. Dunno if I'll ever have this comic printed into a physical graphic novel, but hey, I'll see how it goes when I actually start posting the comic. Im hoping to get some critique that can help me make the story as clear as possible while still allowing for some wackier/less literal moments. Kinda just helping me clean up any plot holes or loose story threads. I'm available to do critique swaps. If interested, here's the link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1RjbRtrXJBe90WM2obJaU68Wul83FrBRa0RZ6joENhbc/edit?usp=drivesdk

[In Progress] [17K] [Suspense/Horror] Nowhere, Maine: An anthology of short storiesNovelette

  Nowhere, Maine is an anthology of short, suspenseful horror stories. Each passage shares the same setting, albeit different areas – a peculiar evergreen wood off a highway in an in-between town in Maine, USA. The characters range in age and background, and I encourage readers to put themselves in the shoes of the character as they explore the forest. 

  Possible TW/CW include: Gore, animal gore/death, human gore/death, implied child death/injury, etc. It’s a lovecraftian style horror novella, so expect violence! Probably not for the faint of heart, though anyone who enjoys this style of work should be fine. Below is a brief synopsis of each of the stories:

Exit Seventeen: A suspenseful car ride turns into a nightmare as Dimitri and Naomi drive deeper and deeper into the forest.

Cabin: After breakup, a reclusive paranoid writer finds himself in a quaint cabin in the woods. 

Mangled: With no other option, a creepy stranger tries to help a hiker. 

Overhang: Two brothers sneak into their woods behind their grandfather's house. 

Valley: When a car accident leaves a desperate father without his daughter, he braves the woods to find her. 

Toothy: Olive bites off more than she can do when a blizzard interrupts her hike. 

  It’s pretty unfinished. The only reason I’m posting here is because this is the longest, and most serious I've ever been about a piece of writing and I'm looking for a little extra guidance along the way. I'm open to critique swaps, and I’m looking for impressions more than anything else. Did you understand what was going on? Did you see the scenes unfold? Were you scared (lol)?! Things along those lines, as well as possible order suggestions for the current collection I've assembled. Like I said, this is a WIP, so I’m still writing and brainstorming to complete the anthology. I’m pretty chill, and willing to meet where you are at.  Message me if you're interested!

[Complete][73K][YA Fantasy] The Sultana's Kiss70k

Hello everyone! I am looking to get some fresh eyes on a manuscript I'm querying and received an R&R for. I have several agents waiting for the revised version and I wanted to have some beta readers before I turn in my revisions. Here is the blurb from the query letter:

In the desert kingdom of Mugaibah, Sabrina is the famed belly dancer who only wants one thing: to stop dancing. Alas, unable to find other work, she has no choice but to earn her living by entertaining lustful men to keep a roof over her and her mother's head.

When Sabrina is invited to perform at the crown prince Arsalan's engagement party, she expects a normal night at work. Except Arsalan falsely announces his undying love for Sabrina, and their secret rendezvous. His plans of escaping engagement go awry when the Sultan arranges Arsalan's marriage to Sabrina instead. Arsalan refuses to explain the reason he needed to escape his engagement, but offers Sabrina a deal: a sham marriage in exchange for Sabrina and her mother's secure future. With a smeared reputation on a grand scale, and her name forever linked to the prince, Sabrina agrees to the loveless marriage.

Only the prince's secrets are far darker than she ever suspected. Odd things begin to happen after Sabrina agrees. Gift boxes arrive from the palace with snakes catching on fire, and eerie dreams of a strange woman warn her to stay away. But the more time she spends with Arsalan, the more his mask of indifference slips. The pair grow closer—which seems to only anger the supernatural forces haunting him. One by one, Sabrina must uncover all of Arsalan's secrets, if she wants to keep her sanity—and her life.

Please let me know if interested! Thank you :)

[Complete][2K][Speculative] Wastelanders Short Story

Hey guys, I just circled back and rewrote a short story I've been tinkering with for a long time and would love your feedback. It's meant to be a sort of Twilight Zone style plot set in a Mad Max type world and I'd love to hear what you think.

Synopsis: In a toxic nuclear wasteland marred by conflict, two families fight to survive and make a home for themselves.

This is probably the most controversial short story I've ever written (Or maybe I just expect it to be recieved that way) so thanks in advanced for reading and giving your thoughts!

https://1drv.ms/w/s!AuYC32RZvyFblkLybd_He7JZgTDm

[Complete] [97k] [Historical Fiction Romance ] The Waltz of the Heart90k

Hi! I’m looking for beta readers. Any kind of feedback would be greatly appreciated! I’m willing to swap for a project of similar length. Here is a short blurb:

BOARDWALK EMPIRE x WICKED CITY

Hell’s Kitchen 1921. Thea had it all. Perfect boyfriend. Ring on her finger. The promise of marriage and kids. When her fiancé, Jimmy, returns from the Great War, he’s not the same man Thea once knew. Battling his war demons, he abandons her for a life of crime. Heartbroken, Thea focuses on her dancing and a fresh start in Paris to pursue her dancing dreams. But when Jimmy goes missing, Thea plunges into the dangerous world of bootlegging to find him, risking everything to save the man she still loves, even if it means losing herself along the way.

Chapter one

The Waltz of the Heart Chap. 1

[Complete] [70k] [Fantasy] Whispers of Oblivion70k

Apologies if my formatting or delivery is a bit off. I am new to this subreddit (and reddit as a whole) and trying to abide by the written guidelines. If you are interested in beta reading this novel, leave a reply or send me a message, and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

Content warnings for the book: gore, extreme violence, mature language, romance (non-explicit, not smut)

Whispers of Oblivion is a fast-progressing story that follows the protagonist, Zerith, in a dark fantasy world setting. A man who goes by the alias of Crixus is on a mission to take all 9 Blessings of the Ancient from their bearers, who are referred to as The Anointed, by force. Historically, the Blessings have been passed down through a form of reincarnation in a process called Renewal. However, Crixus has discovered a way to claim and absorb the Blessings for himself and must be stopped as soon as possible, for no mortal was meant to possess more than one Blessing. This is a story of triumph and failure, of companionship and betrayal, of love and loss.

The current book version is an unedited first draft, so I welcome grammar and spelling suggestions as well. I am looking for beta reader feedback to gauge whether the book is worthy of following through with the editing process to then continue to the publishing process, as well as keeping reader feedback in mind during editing sweeps. I can provide the manuscript in multiple file types, and request that each beta reader fill out an NDA (solely to protect from theft). Additionally, I have an optional feedback form, for the case that any reader prefers a questionnaire rather than open notes. I have one instance of beta reader feedback at the moment, which I will include under the excerpt (not including the filled-out questionnaire). If possible, I will provide each documented beta reader with a free, signed copy of the printed book if it gets published.

Excerpt: The weak thump of Zerith’s heart slowed to a halt, and yet, his soul remained, held captive in the cage of an undead body and shielded by the protective ward. He had become a creature unbound by mortal limitations, known only to the world of Imora once before, trapped on the cusp of death’s sweet release for eternity: a wight. To most, death was an escape, but for the sun elf of Rostana, it was only the beginning.

Existing beta reader feedback: "yes i absolutely do (in reference to whether or not they think I should move forward with editing and publishing). i would rate it an 8 (out of 10 for overall enjoyability), only because fantasy is not my usual read. this was my first actual fantasy book. so it was harder for me to get through the action parts. but overall i did really enjoy it & the storyline."

[Complete] [105k] [Horror / Romance] I Remember Their Names>100k

Hello, Reddit. I have finished the 4.5th draft of my book and am now sending it out for feedback while I begin another. Mainly looking for general, high level feedback. Characters, plot, continuity, themes, etc. No need to line edit, though if you notice something I certainly won't complain.

I am willing to beta in exchange. No limits for critique swap, willing to read anything. I have a preference for horror and romance, but a familiarity with many genres.

My book: I Remember Their Names (still a working title)

This is a modern Lovecraftian horror with a central queer romance. It contains a fair amount of body horror, suicidal ideation, and generally gross stuff. The main character, Kay, meets Nova, a strange person who isn't entirely human. Kay, starved of socialization, falls for her entirely too fast and must deal with the consequences of becoming too close to a being that can bend reality. Nova in turn learns what it means to be a person, and has her eyes opened to the beauty of humanity.

Excerpt: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qfTRAc464sEFqRXFnW2JsMNwAGoIibya1e82yovBnj8/edit?usp=sharing

Thanks for taking the time to look at this. I appreciate it, and don't forget to take care of yourself. You're worth it <3

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[Complete] [56k] [Fantasy/Romance][Lucifer's Daughter]50k

Looking for Beta readers. I would love to swap within the same genre (Romance on the spicier side) and similar word count. (I will read up to 90k)

* Warning: Sex, swearing, eating disorder.

Blurb: (Working progress)

Rosie did well avoiding the royalty, or most people for that matter. Because of her sister and mother, the young women in the village enjoyed making fun of her for her curves, so she learned the love the woods instead. The flowers and the herbs did not say terrible things or laugh at her.

Everything was going well until King Adrian showed up again and requested her as his personal maid for his two-week stay at the village. She knew nothing about serving royalty. That was her sister’s life dream.

Adrian, The Dark One, went to the village to fulfill a small request for Lucifer – check on his daughter and make sure her power was growing. It should’ve been simple, except that he looked at Rosie and felt drawn to her.

Lucifer said that if Adrian touched her in any way, he would kill him. Stupidly thinking there would be no harm in it, he asked for her to serve him. Every day he watched her, and every day he fell in love with the daughter of the Devil.

Was Rosie worth dying for? Was the question he asked himself.

This is the link to the first few pages. Let me know if you are interested.

reddit - Google Docs

[Complete] [71,000] [Thriller/LGBT] An Island All of Our Own70k

Hello!

I have re-written this several times, because I had a really hard time figuring out the best way to tell this story. Because of this, I know there are areas to improve, but I'm having a hard time seeing the forest through the trees so to speak. I'm happy to consider a manuscript swap, though I am not interested in fantasy or sci-fi.

Blurb:

AN ISLAND ALL OF OUR OWN is a 71,000 word thriller with LGBT themes in which a past and present missing person’s case collide, exposing shocking revelations during a bachelorette party weekend. This manuscript combines the locked room mystery style of The Guest List by Lucy Foley, the remote location of The Writing Retreat by Julia Bartz, and would fit well with the overall style of Lisa Jewell.   

Rachel will do anything to avoid going to her best friend Talia’s joint bachelorette party with her fiance Claire on a small private island. The last time Rachel went camping was eleven years ago, when one of her childhood best friends vanished. 

She doesn’t understand why Talia would plan an event like this, because Talia was there that night, too. 

Talia issues her an ultimatum though: come to the bachelorette party or Talia is walking away from the friendship once and for all. Unwilling to lose her only friend, Rachel pushes down her anxiety and ignores the weird text messages she keeps getting from an unknown number urging her to look into Claire’s past.

On the first night, Claire’s sister and maid of honor, Elizabeth, vanishes from one of the cabins, almost exactly like what happened eleven years before. As Claire panics and Talia tries to keep everyone calm, Rachel starts to investigate where Elizabeth was the night before, and what might have happened to her.

When a dead body is found on the island, the entire bachelorette party comes under scrutiny by the police and is moved to a nearby motel on the mainland. 

The police have a working theory of what happened on the island. But their theory doesn’t explain the figure Rachel keeps seeing peeking through her motel blinds, or all the other clues she found on the island. Clues that point to the most horrifying possibility of all—what happened to her childhood best friend and Elizabeth are somehow connected.

Rachel doesn’t know who she can trust. But one thing she’s sure of—someone in this bachelorette party knows more than they are letting on. And every step she takes to get closer to the truth puts her closer in the killer's crosshairs.

First two chapters: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nur2UZlvsv-F5Ku6od3kEvGgsSPi-p85PUZekqOS66A/edit

[Discussion] Provide a Summary?Discussion

Question for any readers or writers out there: I've been a beta reader and developmental editor for a few years and recently got invited to apply to a beta reading job. They want me to read 20k words at a time, provide feedback in comments throughout, and then write a summary of what I read. This is mostly fine, but I've never encountered someone who wanted me to write a summary of the chapter FOR them, devoid of critique or feedback. Usually I'm given a summary so I can understand the pupose and intent of the chapter and provide feedback on where the writing moved away from that. Maybe this is silly, but I'm having a hard time understanding what the purpose of doing that could possible be.

For readers, have you done this before? Did the writer tell you why they wanted that?

For writers who work with readers: Have you asked for this? Why?

[In progress] [1258] [Historical fiction] First chapter of first draft of a story about feeling guilt towards a bad person and letting go of that guilt. Please don't refrain from being harsh.Short Story

I looked at the wood door nervously, within this chamber sat only my liege, the mediator and I along with two empty chairs. With each moment that I waited for him to arrive I grew steadily more nervous, the bare stone walls lacked any reflection of flames leaving the room cold as a chill went up my spine when the door finally opened.

It had been many years since that fateful day when I last saw Wilhelm and when he stepped into the room I felt all the guilt of years past rush over me. He was only one step behind his lord as they entered the chamber. 

The gray-bearded mediator looked behind him at the two men.

“Count Reinhardt, Wilhelm it is good to see you arrive in good shape. Please have a seat so that we may begin negotiating the end of this war.”

Wilhelm looked up at me as they were sitting down and gave me a stern look along with a smirk making me immediately look away in shame.

The mediator spoke when we were all seated. 

“Duke August of Beimerburg as you are the man to have called for this peace negotiation you may begin speaking.” 

I looked at my liege as he stood up, with a well groomed beard, fancy clothes and bald head he demanded respect without saying a word. He landed his gaze on Reinhardt and began speaking.

“Throughout these past few months, ever since you began your attack on my realm, suffering has become the norm for my people as well as yours. Yet I fear that we are all going to face times far worse than today if this war is allowed to continue.” 

I saw an anxious expression begin to take root on Reinhardts face as August continued. 

“It hasn’t required blood being shed on the field of battle for circumstances to grow this terrible but when the day of battle comes things are only going to get worse. This is why I choose to offer unto you sir Reinhardt the gains you have made so far in this war. If we can agree to end this war now before things get too out of hand you may keep fortress Waldberg along with the surrounding lands and we may begin to work together as good christians have ought to do and together bring the heathens of the east under the domain of christ.”

Count Reinhardt shows his youth in both appearance and action, bearing a clean shaven face and fashionable ear length hair. He is well renowned as an up and coming lord who has come far in spite of his young age due in large part to his collaboration with the mercenary leader Wilhelm. He leaned back in his chair as he answered August.

“Why is it that you make proposals you know won’t be accepted? Your dynasty has dominated for long enough August, the future lies in the eastern lands and I am not willing to let you take any part in it. We can end this war today and you can go back to tending to your people but I am both going to be keeping my gains along with you giving your word that you won’t interfere in my christianisation of the east and that you will recognize me as rightful sovereign of it when I am done.”

I could see that this response was upsetting to August though it was certainly not surprising. The matter of who should christianise and one day rule the east has been a source of conflict between noblemen for many years and with my liege August and Count Reinhardt being the only two with the capability to do it there have been tensions between them for a while. I choose this moment to stand up and try to convince Reinhardt.

“Sir Reinhardt the east is vast and trying to take it on yourself may turn out regrettably if anything should go wrong, together we stand a better chance of successfully spreading the domain of christ. And there is certainly more than enough room in the east for both realms to have their share of it.”

It is at this point that Wilhelm who had been sitting with his long spindly limbs crossed until this point spoke up pushing his long blond hair out of the way and leaning a bit forward before he began speaking.

“I do find it rather insolent of you to tell such a bold-faced lie to my lord Frederick. I believe my warband, which may I remind you only consists of converted heathens, shows just how much willingness there is in the east to leave behind pagan doctrine and embrace Christ. Resistance should be minimal as you well know.” 

Whilst speaking he stared into my soul with a grin on his face enjoying every second I spent  skirting eye contact. For most of my life at this point my soul had been drowning in the guilt I felt due to what I’d done to him and I felt in these moments like I was going to puke and shrivel.

“But of course you aren’t a stranger to deception and trying to slyly grab riches for your own is precisely what should be expected.” 

Wilhelm leaned back in his chair and I cautiously sat back down and with my heart rushing, the room didn’t feel so cold anymore.

“Please gentlemen do remain courteous and avoid hurling insults at one another.” Said the mediator causing Reinhardt to turn towards August. 

“Now August perhaps we can compromise? You can have your southern lands back along with the fortress Waldberg but the east is mine alone, so long as you respect that we can end this frankly unnecessary conflict. It’s only natural that the new should supplant the old and your dynasty is practically ancient. I understand that it’s concerning for you to think your family might lose its hegemonic status in this region but you can rest assured that when I’m in charge we shall all prosper, even you who oppose me are going to find a good life in the future under my rule.”

I looked to my right in order to gauge his reaction but August retained a stoic expression for a couple of seconds before responding.

“You are right in that I rue the day when a conniving schemer like you comes unto a position of hegemony, and I can see that your ambition has carried you far from your humble beginnings. But I needn’t lose sleep over worrying about the possibility, because the tales of men like you always end the same way and I know that the ambition which has fueled you this far will soon enough be your undoing.”

August then stood up and gave me a light pat on the back prompting me to stand up as well.

“It should be clear to everyone at this point that no peace can be reached today and that this godforsaken war will continue. You two may take your troops and leave this castle immediately, Frederick here will see you off in just a minute down by the gate.”

Reinhardt nodded his head and stood up along with Wilhelm.

“So it seems, though I must still thank you for your hospitality, I can only hope it isn’t too long before I can stay in this here castle again.”

And so did they walk back out through the wooden door which they came in through with Wilhelm smiling towards me as they left.

[Complete] [74k] [Fantasy] Savage / tribal fantasy70k

Hi! I'm looking for beta readers for my completed and edited fantasy-adventure novel (draft 5). It's set half in tribal lands and half in a colonizing civilization. The plot deals with topics like ecology, colonization, feminism and LGBTQ+ issues in a subtle way through the plot and characters.

I am happy to swap, any genre is fine, but I would like to read something that is at the point mine is at (pretty polished, getting ready to query). I'm looking for line editing, proofreading, etc., basically anything that needs doing before I format it. As well as a general opinion, whether or not I should put effort into querying it or put is in a drawer and start something new.

Here is a link to the first scene: Google Doc.

[Complete] [70K] [Upmarket Romantic Mystery] Pickfair at Dawn70k

First time posting! Please comment or DM for more details.

Story Blurb: It’s summer 2015. Lyla Evans is returning to her family’s Beverly Hills estate, Pickfair, before heading off to her freshman year at Brown. But Pickfair isn’t just any estate, it’s the historic Hollywood home built by Douglas Fairbanks and Mary Pickford–two of the first film stars who helped establish the movie industry. Lyla’s father is a member of British society, and her mother is a retired supermodel. They bought the home in the ‘80s to save it from being demolished and preserve its original history. Her parents, usually exceptionally private, have made an interesting choice this summer: they’ve opened the grounds of Pickfair for the production of a movie. The idyllic estate is suddenly overrun with beautiful actors and a disgruntled crew. As the summer and production come to an end, Lyla finds herself and her beloved family home caught in a storm of lust, tragedy, and mystery that rivals the plot of the very movie being filmed at Pickfair.

Warnings: Substance Abuse, Sexual Content, Sexual Abuse (not described just referenced), Eating Disorders, LGBTQ+ themes

Feedback: I am open to all feedback, however, I am most concerned with the following: 1. Pacing - Do any parts feel too rushed or too slow? 2. Prose - Is the writing overly descriptive in some areas? Not descriptive enough in others? Did any particular parts feel clunky? 3. Plot - Was the twist surprising? If not, what gave it away and did you enjoy the book even if it was predictable? 4. Character development/Sub plots - Did you feel like you got to know the characters? Did any of the characters or subplots feel underdeveloped to you? 5. Any other feedback you have :)

Timeline: No hard timeline, preferably within the next 2-3 months.

Swap: I am open to swapping manuscripts of similar lengths.

[Complete] [113k] [Dark Modern Fantasy] Black Cats Book 1: The Eyes of Solomon >100k

First post think I did this right.

Hello all I finished my first book last year and after a few edits I feel it's ready to get its first few test reads. I've had some positive feedback from the few people that have read it and I’m now looking for people with a more critical eye to give me feedback. I am willing to read others' works as well. This is the First Book is sitting at 113k words, from what I understand that might be too much for a first book to get published, and I am willing to make cuts as needed (first draft was 130k).

I have the series laid out and depending on how long each book is I plan on writing a total of 5-7 main story books with short story books in between. 

I am looking for Honest feedback on the story and my writing style. If you would like to be a Beta reader please DM me. If you are unsure if you want to read the whole thing feel free to just ask for the Sample Chapters.

Note: This a a dark modern fantasy and has graphic details 

Thanks and happy writing. 

Blurb:

Welcome to the World of the Black Cats. 

This story is a mix of the X files, Supernatural, and a sprinkling of the Dresden Files. The Black Cats are a Federal organization tasked with protecting Americans from the supernatural. However, if you were to ask anyone about the subject they would tell you there is no such organization. Like its namesake, the mysterious black cat, the organization works from the shadows covering up anything they deem too dangerous for the public to know about.

Throughout our adventures with the Black Cats, we will follow our leading cast of three main characters as they work their way through the toughest cases of their lives. Our Lead point character is the leader of the group, and a founding member of the Black Cats. His past, his reasons, and his name have been lost to time and is only known as The Mystery. His Partner, code named Jack, is a hot-tempered Woman whom you’d best not get between once she is on the warpath. The last of our main cast is the newbie, Arcangelo Frechia, codenamed Seeker. He finds himself in over his head as his first big  investigation with the team goes from bad to worse. 

In this first book, The Eyes of Solomon, I set up the world and drop you into a Lazurath level event. We follow the main Cast Mystery, Jack, and Seeker as they investigate the ritualistic death of a young woman in her apartment. The investigation quickly turns into a race against time as the monster behind must be stopped before it gains enough power to become unstoppable. All while an old a familiar foe begins to rise its head once more, as the Cult of Solomon gains power and rises from the ashes. To make matters worse the Wilds begin talks of war against the human race, as they tier of humans and their destructive nature.