Joe Biden

Automatic.

Assault rifle? Do you mean automatic? Any rifle is used to assault something/someone, that's a very vague term that leads to lots of confusion.

Definitely dinner. Dazzle us with stories of kids touching your legs and your son smoking crack, oh creepy one.

My default retort to any comment about the weather is "It's sunny and 70 in here every day." Sometimes its beautiful and being outside is preferred, but I worked an outside job and where I live about 60% of the year being inside is better. Its cold in the winter, I'll take some heat. Its hot and humid in the summer, give me that A/C. Spring and fall are good but whatever.

And on the Friday/Almost the weekend thing, we have a rotation so I only work 1 out of each 4 Saturdays. If it's the Friday before my Saturday I always come back with "Yes, I'll be enjoying my weekend right here."

Just go with original reason: "Trust the Science"

Seems logical to me at least, the intent is to actually prosecute crimes, such as shoplifting etc. Many big cities are apparently doing "Catch and release" with these types of crimes, creating a never-ending stream of repeat offenders with absolutely no reason to stop doing it. This dude, it would appear anyway, wants to end that.

If My wife and kids also get the option, we're all taking the 90% at a B. Just 1 of us needs to hit the 90% chance and we're set. If its just me one time, I'll take the 3M. The odds on the B are very tempting, but 3M would essentially set us up very comfortably.

The Roaming Candles

I would avoid everything GM like the plague.

Maverick? Pretty sure he said "Truck".

Seems like this would eventually escalate to nuclear war, and death for all the world is highly likely.

What if they re-elect Biden?

Definitely firing squad. Give them all live rounds and half shoot at my heart and the other half at my head.

The only thing that can go into your crack is toilet paper.

The running joke in our family is that "________'s dont make split tails" (insert my last name). My grandfather had 1 brother. My father has 2 brothers and a sister, and he insists his sister is "the mailmans" lol. 1 of his brothers has no children. Both my dad and his other brother have 1 son. The other son (my cousin) has 3 sons. I have 2 sons. My wife during her first pregnancy I think was secretly hoping for a girl, partially to shut us up about not only having boys. Obviously, #1 was a boy. Pregnancy #2 we didnt even discuss girl names because we just knew. We chose to not find out genders until birth for both.

Toes In the Air

Speling is hadr

No. It clearly says you may wipe, but only toilet paper.

A co worker of mine had a similar situation not all that long ago. Guy wanted lower ball jojnts for his "Chevy" but couldn't be bothered to provide a year. He also gave the "Chevy Guy" standard answer of "They're all the same." After asking twice and not getting a year, the co worker sells him lower ball joints for a 78 Chevy 1500. First thing the next morning the guy was waiting at the door, pissed. I unlocked the door, he goes right to the co worker. "You sold me the wrong ball joints!" Co worker says thats impossible, you said they are all the same! I completely agree with point about women, they always want to have every bit of information they could possibly need, which is wonderful.

edited for spelling

I sell auto parts. Parts are "wrong" on a pretty regular basis. Regular retail people (not commercial accounts) will bring stuff back and without fail say "You sold me the wrong ______ (name of part). " Ive been doing this for almost 30 years. I do occasionally screw up, but its rare. We have some newer people that get stuff wrong more often just from inexperience. Selling parts may seem like a simple proposition but there are countless pitfall's waiting to swallow up unsuspecting parts people. So anyway, when a customer utters those fine words "You sold me the wrong xxxx." I always come back with "Did we sell you the wrong one, or did you ask for the wrong one?" I've worked here going on 25 years, short of stealing from the company, the owner will not fire me. I'm too valuable and I sometimes use this to my advantage. I realize most people in this position couldn't question a customer like that. But I do. And most of the time, its the customers fault. They got the part they asked for, but it isn't what they need. They say the wrong year, wrong model, wrong engine, etc.

Mathematically 30k is 10% of 300k. If the odds are truly 50% on getting the 300k, that is the only logical outcome. If you ran this scenario 10 times, you'd have 300k one way, (and again assuming it is really 50%) and in the other you'd have $1.5M (10 x 300k x .5). Yes, you COULD end up with nothing but the odds are so heavily in favor of going for the 300k its a no brianer.

You aren't buying Congress for $100B. A few members maybe, but not the whole thing.

Get Off My Teat