Im sorry this happened. People who ghost lack emotional maturity to communicate. People here will assume why due to stereotypes and personal experience. But only YOU know how it really went for you. Only you know what your intentions are:)

This makes me think of my nephew. I feel so bad, my sister has ALWAYS wanted kids. Even tried as a teen. She struggles though, and this poor boy has cavities and they make his teeth look small and odd. My sister cant afford I assume, to get him into the dentist. They keep giving him sugary foods though!! All he seems to eat are microwave meals/foods and fast food, LOTS of mcdonalds. Hes only 2:(

Ah I see, that makes sense as well! Thank you for pointing that out.

No, that makes sense.. my bad for being hypocritical woth my own post! 😅 I completely see your point and agree.

I find it wild that people will listen to the details and STILL try and invalidate her due to their lack of understanding trauma:(

Im surprised to see so many people disagreeing with this post. I get their points for the most part, but for me the biggest reason this is so bothersome is because its being used an as INSULT. Why arent people acknowledging that much? Using therapy as an insult will not genuinely encourage people to go? Nor do the people saying it usually even truly care if said person goes to therapy? They just say it to try and imply this person has issues (even if this isnt true and simply an exaggeration).

Saying this just gives more stigma towards it. It matters how we word things. The people saying it like this dont actually care for the persons mental health but want to insult them. Using therapy as an insult is not ok, ever. If you are genuinely concerned for someones mental health you absolutely do not bring it up like this.

Im going through the same thing,, phone calls being a big anxiety trigger doesnt help, along with general social anxiety!! Im scared to get a job, but ik its necessary as a 20 yr old. People see me as lazy. They dont understand and I cant get them too, its horrible.

Glad i saw this post. Been feeling really alone lately and misunderstood. I feel like most people are over achieving over doing always busy type, whereas im the complete opposite. Felt isolating and alienating in an already alienating situation. (Having cPTSD being the situation, lol)

I rarely take risks. Im paralyzingly scared to make the wrong move and what others will think of me. I feel like a failure and have little confidence in myself and abilities. I want to do something with my life and feel productive, it just feels out of my control right now, and thats also been terribly frustrating and hopelessness inducing.

This post just dug up a memory that I havent thought of since, of my dad showing me this video of this mom who ended up on the news for giving her son hot sauce and making him go in a cold shower and he showed me this video saying “at least I dont do this to you” type of thing.

And he was right, but what he did do was enough for me to develop cPTSD still, so!!!!

Im so sorry this happened to you OP, couldnt imagine :(

The downvotes have me 🤣🤣🤣 ppl mad that we are acknowledging that weed can be abused

Yep. My ex would say its not addictive. At one point he said he was going to stop, then later on mentioned doing it again. I reminded him that he said he was going to stop and that I thought it was a good idea (bc I could tell he was abusing it) and he told me he couldnt handle the withdrawal. So much for it “not being addictive” as he said 🙄

I completely agree. Its may not be the worst/most dangerous drug or escape one could use, but that doesnt completely matter when the intention is still harmful in the long run.

My dad is actually Bipolar with narcissistic traits, but not fully diagnosed narcissistic. Iv been curious why we dont talk about “Bipolar abuse” or why we wouldnt word it that way, since it was the Bipolar behavior of unexplainable highs and lows and rages then sweetness that were traumatic for me (and him being unmedicated mostly), a terribly chaotic and unpredictable environment as a growing person. I barely even hear about experiences with bipolar parents in this way, and was just recently doing research on how unmedicated bipolar behavior can be abusive, and traumatic especially for developing kids.

Idk if this is related but im tired of seeing people put “specific disorder abuse”. Anyone who is unwell is capable of abuse and likely will act out in these ways if not acknowledged. Alot of people see it as a hot take or stigma, but I think its the truth and acknowledging it is the only way we can move forward with better treating and supporting people who struggle. Anyone is capable of abuse, especially if their first role models as children were very unhealthy people. Weather its bc they picked up on behaviors from family or just the ways they needed to adapt to survive. There doesnt need to be shame, but there should be acknowledgment.

Sorry if I went off on a random tanget, thats just what this made me think of lol.

Exactly. Men who follow thots are an automatic 🚩 imo. Its such a shame because its rare to find a man who doesnt :((

Iv never understood this. As a woman, when im in a relationship, I have no desire to go out of my way to look or stare at attractive people. Yes I can still find others attractive but I have 0 desire to check people out like that. Its so disrespectful and weird when you have a partner.

Iv never understood following thots either?? Like why is it so normalized to be looking at constant sexual content? Particularly with men?? Men who follow thot accounts are a 🚩🚩 imo. Its just weird, idc. Everyone has different boundaries but that how iv always viewed it.

Its wonderful that he unfollowed some, but odd he didnt do all. Id bring that up and ask why he feels the need to keep some around. Getting rid of all will also help his feed return back to normal!!

My grandma tries to justify the two times she spanked me. “you ran into the road! Rather that then be dead. You were young, you wouldnt of understood my words.” then a time where I was hiding in the clothing racks at a store and she got so scared, when she finally found me she spanked me (not sure why that was necessary and iv not challenged her on this particular incident yet) and she says how a lady near by was happy to see it n applauded her🙄 I dont have any memory of these events, I only know of them because she told me.

It just disturbs me. Growing up I considered my grandma my “safe” person, but iv started to realize the ways she also contributed to the dysfunction of my environment. And its been heavy.

I wouldnt consider these events traumatic for me and I wasnt regularly hit. But the idea that she could even excuse it is so disgusting to me, it actually enrages me that I cant convince her that what she did was wrong and completely unnecessary. It hurts to see anyone excuse and justify this behavior. It just hurts and enrages me so bad.

I dont like muscles in general much. Theyre fine (to a point) but they look no better to me then a man whos got no visible muscle.

Im a woman so sorry if my opinion isnt wanted, but the big boobs, big thighs and big hips from what iv seen are actually apart of the current day beauty standards! No one is perfect, having some tummy with it is ok. As ruthless as the internet and the people in it can be, most people arent looking for unrealistic looking models:)

I am a woman who prefers guys who are shorter. Im 5’3 and iv dated a guy who seemed very close to my height. (Never knew his exact height cuz idc lol) Iv never understood the hype tbh. I find that alot of things are just easier when partners are closer heights like sex and holding hands, etc. I dont like having to look up at someone either. Its not a deal breaker, as most men are tall but I do prefer shorter.

My opinion shouldnt and doesnt matter but I completely understand why you feel the way you do. Not to crap on how others are going about it but it they seem slightly dismissive. It makes absolute sense why you are insecure and I understand the feeling, social media is ruthless and standards for people are made very clear, especially when you experience this kind of rejection irl. But just know it doesnt make you unlovable or unattractive. There WILL be people who find you attractive and will enjoy your height. Best luck to you, I hope you dont give up on dating:)

Omg. So glad I saw this comment, I havent seen anyone else talking about being raised by parents like this and how it affected them, and its been driving me nuts making me feel so alone and misunderstood. (Even though logically I understand its deeply unlikely and not true that im the only one to have endured this type of parenting)

I feel the same way as a result of being raised like this and its making it very hard to be and even feel like an adult:,) (just turned 20.)

This is why dating apps suck. Friends to lovers>>>

Iv dated people I didnt find initially attractive, but after getting to know them better my feelings and actual physical view of them changed.

But no, I agree with the point. Looks DO matter and its annoying that people try to pass it off as “shallow”. Like sorry I actually want my lover to find me attractive..? Lol. Like thats a whole part of romantic attraction. Physical attraction comes with romantic attraction automatically.

Its ok to be a feminine man:) you dont need to suppress that side of you! In doing so you will truly be your most authentic self!

I wouldnt say I currently do as im more so very hyperactive and on alert, not commonly numb.

But I definitely think it happened in earlier childhood because I have a really hard time remembering the timeline/yrs/details of when events happened (both mundane and distressing/traumatic). It feels spaced and gapped, I have a good chunk of memories and im not really sure how many I “should” have, but idk if iv necessarily forgot whole periods of life because before middle school, I couldnt rlly tell you how old I was or what yr it was when random memories I have did happen. My memories just feel random, lol.

I feel bad that while reading this and imagining my dad dead, it felt relieving. Its horrible ever having to feel this about a parent.

My abuse wasnt to the same extent but due to it I still feel very out of control with very little autonomy, and still treated with control even at 20. Id love to be able to live a normal life where I feel self sufficient, or at least less dependent on people you cant even truly depend on.

Im 20 and id love to feel and act like it.

Omg you can see the interaction?? Sweet! Glad you didnt see me as terrible from it😭 I was essentially venting about how I was upset that my grandma bought me a laptop she knows is bad quality (for the particular game I wanted, which was the only reason I wanted a laptop in the first place) because she didnt think id be able to figure out a different one. At least thats how I perceived it. Ik my grandma had good intentions. It just sucks that this view of me needing help with every little thing got in the way of quality. I was REALLY looking forwad to rhe game so when I realized the laptop wasnt good quality for it (as she already knew..) I was really disappointed. It just felt like a reinforcement that I cant do anything on my own, and the fact that that kind of thought about me affects my life is rlly frustrating.

Thank you so much for seeing me♥️

I agree! Im thankful. Iv mostly stuck to this sub and only had positive and neutral interactions. So thats why it was such a big shock to me😅😅😅

That makes sense.. thank you for explaining to me kindly.