Forgot this is still reddit, even “safe spaces” like this sub.

CPTSD Vent / Rant

Yeah, lol. Got my first negative response a few days ago, and it sent me into a spiral. Was immediately triggered, tried explaining myself. Felt completely unseen and misunderstood. Deleted the post because I felt like an absolutely horrible person, and I hate that I sort of automatically and habitually let people who dont know me and misrepresent me, have so much power over me like that:( Was just a trigger on top of trigger.

I was shocked as this person seemed to be someone whos apart of the community and likely is on this sub alot. Idk, blocked her after she labeled me as something I wouldnt say was accurate for the situation, or me as a person in general really, but I suppose everyone has their moments. I honestly just never expected a response like that in this sub, especially from people who are commonly present here.

Im not saying i expect to be baby talked or coddled, but it just felt like a straight up attack! I just couldn’t imagine talking to someone like that on this sub.

I believe in non shaming approaches, even if you think the person has a bad or toxic trait/mindset. I think most ppl here are to some extent aware and willing to listen to input, as long as its not rude or said in a shameful way!! If you really think someone is too far gone then leave it be imo, unless you think theyve hurt someone etc.

Oh well. It happens, its still reddit haha.

in CPTSDby Background-Guitar701

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5mo

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Willow_Weak

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5mo

I think you are making a big mistake by assuming most people are willing to listen. Most people are ignorant. Also, you are not responsible for somebody else's feelings. People being rude to you means you are allowed to be rude too. I learned that trying a "kind" approach with assholes only leads to swallowing your frustration. That's not good for you. I learned to put all my hate in the people that deserve it. Learn how to be a nasty asshole, and save up all your energy for the people that deserve it. Trust me, it's so liberating yelling at the people that deserve it.

Background-Guitar701

5mo

It was a shock because iv never received such a response so far, until now.

This is a sub meant to offer support and advice to people. While this is reddit and theres bound to be people who simply dont understand you or are rude, I dont think its a mistake on my end to think people here would listen and offer compassionate and non shaming words (or none at all), especially active members. But I understand ur point I think.

Willow_Weak

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5mo

Unfortunately it won't be the last time. In different subs that are not so much of a safe space I got insulted and shamed for having bpd (all of them are psychopaths, they are all manipulate, they burn their plushies, stuff liket that) and that's what I experience in real life too. I want to give you an example out of my life to maybe make you understand better. Of course it's not bad to think people would listen. But the more you expect from people the more you get disappointed. I lost my job in Summer due to my boss being a narcissist. Since then he hasn't filled a form that I need to receive money from the government. He is obligated by law. I went there, yelled at him, told him if he doesn't do it I'll kick his face. He did it. So being aggressive unfortunately leads somewhere. I believe it's about mirroring. Somebody else is an asshole to you ? Ok, I'm one too. Rule of karma. Edit: just realized how ridiculous it is to blame people with bpd to burn their plushies. They fucking won't. They will more likely take them with them even if they are adult people, because often it's a form of support for emotionally less mature people. They will never burn their support.(I remember a person that posted in the bpd sub once that he/she was terrified cause she/he had to go to a job interview but knew it would look strange to have his teddy with him) edit 2: I'm male, 28, basically in remission, but my teddy will stay in my bed forever !

Background-Guitar701

5mo

That makes sense.. thank you for explaining to me kindly.

Willow_Weak

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5mo

You're welcome. You've been kind too, no reasons not to be ;)