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My buddies dad was checking out the waitress one day and said, "Look at the poop shoot on that one." It still makes me laugh.
Dude's so happy because the closest thing to a finger he has is a clit on his nub. Everything he touches makes him cum. Fucking perv.
HIV is second, HEP C is first.
Damn you pay your dishwasher? I just slap mine on the ass and say thanks for dinner!
Heights. I got a job that required me to use a 20' extension ladder along with working on large scissor lifts. I still have moments from time to time when I get in my head up at the top, but after a few weeks of being up there, it got better.
After I got comfortable over a few years, I had an accident where I fell off an 8' ladder and almost died.
I had to face my fears all over again when I got better. That's all you can do.
Carnivore was a better band. RIP Pete Steele
If you can't eat it or fuck it,
KILL IT!
-Carnivore
You definitely go to the gym to masturbate in public. Your dog likes you because you normally have peanut butter (on your balls).
Thin sliced kidney stone 😋
Seen something like fall out a dudes mouth once. It smelled bad.
Jessie Dinkman. I can hear the banjo as you walk in the room.
Along with the left handed hammer. Birds of a feather...
"I especially like the little odometer" when Roz gives Daphne the her the garter as something borrowed.
That's why you're the hostess and he's the valet 🤣
You hear her too? I thought it was just me.
What's the best line you've heard someone respond to with "That's what she said"?
nsfwAskReddit