No, because my husband still courts me. I'm not joking, he will randomly buy me things, take me out for food, make arrangements for date nights, etc.

This is a classic midlife crisis

In my opinion, the longer she spends with herself, loving herself and doing self care...the less likely she is to end up with a partner that "doesn't like makeup". Those men also control what their partners wear, eat, and probably lots of other things we don't know about.

33F here. I use la rache posay moisturizer daily with SPF and my tinted moisturizer also has SPF, which goes on top of my moisturizer after that sinks in.

I mean that's probably not the reason they are separating. It's probably just the straw that broke the camels back

How experienced of a cook are you?

You could bake a ham, mashed potatoes or even augratin potatoes, even a potato salad is good, with peas or a green salad.

You could make a sauce with the ham juices, combining chicken stock and dry sherry and heavy hipping cream.

What they should have done is taught you how to actually clean your room. Like, did they go over it with you showing you specifically where things go? Were there pictures in places? Where there bins to put specific things? Or did they just yell at you to clean it, and left you to it?

Smoking cigarettes? Cannabis? What does he smoke?

But in all reality there is nothing you can do. It's between them.

Signed, a 33 year old mother.

Do you mean recently? My husband and I bought our home with a mortgage in 2015. We put $60,000 down. We have a 3% rate. Is your credit score or debt to income ratio stopping you from being able to purchase a home?

Why are they looking to undermine their relationship? Why not just have a relationship with just their granddaughter and not bring her mother into it? Why wouldn't they want their granddaughter to have as a good relationship with them and her mother as possible?

This OP!

THIS, OP. Placing appropriate blame is to he expected. If they have an issue with your telling the truth of heir behavior...the problem isn't that you're telling...the problem is with their behavior.

So I'd recommend marriage counseling, specifically see an lmft because they have insights in the parenting side of things as well.

You should probably go to individual therapy to learn why you said that.

In couples therapy you need to learn how to communicate and argue not dirty.

You should also learn each other's apology language. There's a quiz by Gary Chapman who wrote the book on love languages. Google it, get the book.

In the meantime you need to take accountability, and here is how a genuine apology looks like:

1. Specific identification of the wrong act

2. An acceptance of responsibility for doing the wrong act

3. A thorough acknowledgement of the harm caused

4. Validation of the feelings arising from the harm caused

5. An understanding of the consequences of the wrong act

6. An expression of remorse that is absolutely not followed by the word "but..." or any reference to the wronged party's thoughts or feelings

7. An outline of options available to repair the harm caused

8. A genuine commitment to not repeat the wrong act.

This is why my own philosophy has developed into “forgiveness requires atonement.”

ETA: do you think you said that because he reminds you of your mother or father? If that's the case then I caution you to take your time going down the rabbit hole of what is repetition compulsion in regards to your childhood.

Ugh what a nightmare. I monitor my attys email but he's been known to email the two other partners instructions, sometimes with not nice things to say, and copy the client (unknowingly, cuz ya know he's 80!).

I freely admit I scream in my car, "Why are you already here?!" when he beats me to the office in the morning.

Omg lmfao that sucks so bad. I can totally see that too, I was there with my last firm (also an old attorney, retired by 70 tho) yelling why are you here.

last week I came in and he was already here but had fallen asleep in his chair, I was almost positive he was dead.

Ok but in all seriousness, you have to quit and find another job. If not soley for the reason of avoiding trauma when you do find him dead. Trauma therapy is expensive, like I went for two years twice a week and it cost me $6k total. Just sayin'.

I bet any of those attorneys you know, the younger ones, would take you in a heartbeat.

Solidarity. My atty is 80 and the last 4 months was hospitalized for heart failure. He surprisingly recovered and is now back to working.

He's not understanding why he's feeling badly and has no energy. Idk dude, maybe it's because you're ducking 80.

I have been NC with my father and sister for 2.5 years.

My parents 54 and 62 were physically abusive to me throughout my entire time living with them.

After I had my own child I had a basically mental breakdown, went to therapy, got diagnosed with cPTSD (and others), finished trauma recovery therapy (well 70% recovery) (am still in therapy) and reconciled with my mother.. still estranged from my father and sister, and it will stay that way - my choice.

I was gifted (inherited cuz they're 75 and giving things away) a china cabinet with the wedding china. I use it every holiday now. I put it in my dining room.

I was born 6 weeks early, in middle of nowhere Poland. I was lucky to be in the only incubator the entire building had. I was there for 3 months, alone, basically. 1990 Poland may as well have been 1970, technologically.

You should! I'm saving this, it's good

Is that...your parent?! I'm so sorry they said those things. That's horrendous

Have you heard of Margarita Nazarenko? She's got a YouTube and podcast called being her. Listen to it. She talks about this in one of her episodes. But that's right, he told you the truth, surprisingly.

He can treat you like his dream girl but would rather not because he doesn't have to and you will still be fine and accept his behavior.

My parents, as immigrants in 1994 were able to save 30k working minimum wage jobs within 6 years to buy a house.

I, having lived here most of my life, gone to college, was supposed to be better off than them. Am broke AF. In debt. Only have a house and kid to my name but again, broke and in debt barely scraping by.

It's not even better for the now adult immigrant children.

I am 33. My parents had saved tens of thousands of dollars by the time my mom was 33.

I'd be such a petty bitch and fax them their job description, along with job postings for fast food workers that pay more.

If you want one person to do the job of three people, tell me you are offering a salary of $100,000 or more. Because while I'm not in IP, I only have 6 years experience in estate planning and I'm making 90k. The only thing I do outside of estate planning is invoicing and that's probably why I'm making 90k.

I don't have advice but commenting to boost your post! Hopefully someone will have an answer

The only person i expect to be accommodating is my husband, though. and i dont feel like it's a big ask.

It's not a big ask. That's normal.