Moderator removed post
Is Michigan a good place to find a Bi Woman into Poly Relationships?
AdviceSure just go down to the hot bi babe store in Lansing and pick one up.
You’re not having luck because what you have to offer is unappealing
Why are you so mean? I ask if it was a good place. No the fact I didn’t have any luck.
Because unicorn hunters are disgusting
I’m not that so stop it! I want a relationship with a girl and my husband is giving me that. He is not even go have sex with her. He loves me! You just a hater!
Expire angry
No. No place is good for this. Its a shit offer.
Imagine this....
You meet this magical person who wants to date you both. Her name is Jane. She is perfect, child free and partner free. She devotes all her time joining your life while making no demands that you change in anyway. Rainbows and butterflies shoot from her ass when she farts. She goes along with anything. She has epic tits. She asks for nothing but threesomes and all the copious amounts of love you have to give.
You all date and fuck for awhile. Maybe around 12 to 18 months. She moves into your happy home and helps with chores, finances, and kids. Steamy threesomes happen all the time. Also, cute dates and cuddles are the norm. You go out to parties as an adorable triad and people take photos and stand in awe because you are the envy of all who see you. You get interviewed and photographed for NY times article about the surge of triads.
Its fun, but you never fall in love with her. Not real deep lasting love.The new sex energy wears off, and you don't really want to keep being romantic and sexual with her because you don't love her and she is starting to get on your nerves. You actually hate rainbow farts once the NRE wears off.
She has bad taste in movies and makes weird sounds in her sleep. Some stuff that was cute in glow of the new relationship is actually....well....turning into deal breakers. You didn't see it coming, but here you are. You don't want to fuck Jane. You don't like dates with her and you're sick of her being around so much. You try....but you just don't really love her. You don't want to date her anymore even though she is perfectly lovely with magic rainbow farts. The spark....isn't there. You start having nightmares and depression.
However, your partner is in love with Jane and Jane is in love with them. Big, deep, serious, life altering love. The kind of love that inspires great art and poetry. They are smitten. It can't be undone.
So your partner will leave you as soon as you stop dating, being romantic with, and having sex with Jane. You aren't allowed to break up with her and keep your partner. Doesn't matter if you love her or want to fuck her. Thats now the price of admission for keeping your original partner and current life. Do it. Otherwise, you're out. Out of your relationship. Out of your house. Out of your life. Fuck and love Jane or pack a bag and start over alone.
How would you feel? Would you knowingly make this agreement with your parnter and date people together with the knowledge that if it doesn't pan out on your end, but they like her, then you get dumped? You become the third. Dumped, divorced, discarded like a third, and he stays with Jane. Maybe in your house and in your bed. Would you find this an appealing offer?
No one else does either. I'm guessing though while you'd dump Jane for not loving you both of you....that you thought you were above being discarded in this scenario. Is that right? Thirds get discarded. Not you.
No one will knowingly agree to this offer unless they are a deeply damaged person with a very low sense of self worth or are in such desperate financial straights that this is their best offer for basic survival (food, shelter, etc.).
Are you really ok treating someone as disposable? Treating them in a way you wouldn't accept? Putting them in a position to choose a partner they love or being discarded for not having unwanted sex and romance? Only monsters treat people this way. Can you give up your human decency to pursue this abusive fantasy?
Why so dark! We don’t have a problem. He is doing this for me. And trust me he is never going anywhere. I want a girlfriend. He is not even going to have sex with her. Only me! So bye bye Boo. You a hater.
Its not dark to disapprove of treating people like shit.
If you are dating independently, what's up with all the "we". Do you have multiple personalities?
It’s a we because I’m not breaking up with him but I want a girlfriend because I’m bi. He doesn’t want you but he will be there for me. Because I want him there.
Also I haven’t treated no one like shit. Everyone loves me that knows me.
Because I want him there.
How does that even work? He goes on all your dates? Stands in the corner while you fuck?
You two are crazy.
Then why does your post specifically ask for a bi woman?
Moderator removed comment
4mo
Come on, you're telling on yourself. If you want to be polyamorous and date someone else, that shouldn't have anything to do with your husband at all. If you think he'd be entitled to hang around your other partners just because he's your husband, that's gross. A lesbian who is biphobic and would openly cite that reason for not dating bi women such as yourself would lose all respect in her local poly community.
Frankly, there is no other way to interpret your post than that y'all are unicorn hunters. Obviously no one here is going to help you with that.
Your post has been removed for breaking the rules of the subreddit. Your comment or post included language that would be considered misogynistic, bigoted or intolerant. This includes attacks or slurs related to gender or sexual identity, racism, sexism, slut shaming, poly-shaming, mocking, and victim blaming.
Your post may also be removed for conflating the polyamorous experience with other marginalized people.
No there’s 0 poly bi women in Michigan unfortunately:( just keep playing outside of Michigan, there’s no other option I’m afraid
As a resident of a border state of Michigan, just let them know the rest of the Great Lakes region is a dead zone, too
Thanks for the honesty
Beep, boop, blop, I'm a bot. Hi u/Michigan_Queen thanks so much for your submission, don't mind me, I'm just gonna keep a copy what was said in your post. Unfortunately posts sometimes get deleted - which is okay, it's not against the rules to delete your post!! - but it makes it really hard for the human mods around here to moderate the comments when there's no context. Plus, many times our members put in a lot of emotional and mental labor to answer the questions and offer advice, so it's helpful to keep the source information around so future community members can benefit as well.
Here's the original text of the post:
My husband and I travel a lot. And we tend to get more success in other places with dating. It’s just we live in Michigan and we can’t ask someone to leave everything behind to live with us or near us. We feel like that’s unfair. So the relationships really never pan out because of the distance.
But we think If we find more like minded women nearby, it would make it more easy to hangout and develop a better connection with each other.
Other then that we are open to any advice that can steer us in the right direction.
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Moderator removed comment
4mo
This post is on an extremely common topic. Looking for a "third" or a "unicorn" or multiple people who want to date only you (and maybe each other) are not ethical forms of non-monogamy, and we do not host discussions about how to hunt unicorns or build harems here.
“All or nothing”, or unit couples who cannot date separately are unicorn hunting.
Swingers also use this term, but it’s a completely different activity.
- http://www.unicorns-r-us.com/
- http://polyfor.us/to-unicorn-hunters-from-an-ex-unicorn/
- http://www.autostraddle.com/to-unicorns-from-an-ex-unicorn-287425/
We do not host comments that elevate, support, glorify or otherwise encourage polyamorous unicorn hunting.
This sub is firmly anti-UH, and will remain so, given the harm that, in polyamory, this practice causes.
Thanks for your understanding.
Probably confused about their ban too.
This post is on an extremely common topic. Looking for a "third" or a "unicorn" or multiple people who want to date only you (and maybe each other) are not ethical forms of non-monogamy, and we do not host discussions about how to hunt unicorns or build harems here.
“All or nothing”, or unit couples who cannot date separately are unicorn hunting.
Swingers also use this term, but it’s a completely different activity.
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/13n1xd6/polyamory_unicorn_hunting_vs_casual_sex_unicorn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
We do not host comments that elevate, support, glorify or otherwise encourage polyamorous unicorn hunting.
This sub is firmly anti-UH, and will remain so, given the harm that, in polyamory, this practice causes.
Thanks for your understanding.