Not sure this is so much "before and after" marriage so much as it's before and after 15 years and a kid...
Yea. It ain't marriage that ages a man. Its kids. Kids are brutal. Really hard caring for multiple small kids and maintaining your own human identity.
and sanity
I've grown a lot of grey hairs since my twins were born
Lol yup, I made it 37 years without a gray, found my first gray about 4 months after the twins(my first kids) were born.
Ah fellow twin dad. I send my regards, First and last lol.
Twins! How the hell have you survived so far? I've always wondered about twins after enduring the craziness of raising a single kid
I don't remember the first year lol. It's a lot more fun now that they're 15mo. Was a really rough pregnancy and post NICU. Wouldn't change it for anything though, it's an experience
Damn glad y’all got through the rough parts. NICU would’ve been so tough to be away from them after birth. But yeah it just gets more and more fun the older they get!
15 years will also do that to you
I am childfree but have friends, most of whom have kids that are getting close to teens now. The parents have definitely aged faster as a result. The funny thing is it seems to be a little different for all of them. I know two moms who aged a lot almost overnight but some it seemed to happen a little more gradually or later into chidhood, same with the dads. Some aged quick after the child was born, some maybe a little slower but it definitely wore on most of them visibly.
It's funny though because I say "most" because I also have a married couple im friends with who have four kids and they both still look great. They have a lot of money though. Who knows. Too many factors to say it happens 100% of the time but I think having children is definitely an age accelerator. Naturally. Stress ages us. Raising children, while equally as rewarding Im sure, is one of the more stressful life experiences and unlike other stressful life experiences we go through, raising children is continuous and ongoing.
I’m also childfree and this is exactly my observation too.
Bro, you just ignore them and then force your identity onto them. What could go wrong?
Exactly
And makeup for a photo shoot
Yes! So typical of as seen on TV product commercials. They show the before picture of the person wearing "bad" clothing, slouching, unkempt hair, bad lighting and no make up and then compare it with the same exact person but with everything done to make them look better.
Korean wedding photos are notorious for photo shopping the couple beyond recognition. I literally don't recognize my Korean friends in their wedding photos. It's a bizarre trend
Jokes on you. Im not married and i still look like “after”
Congratulations on getting ahead in life quicker
He appears very content with his family in this adorable picture. It's almost as if he shed a character and evolved into the person he was destined to be. He also appears silly, which I adore.
We have to keep in mind that we don't know how old he is in the after photos. Almost all of us were thin when we were young. Our hair was thicker and we were attractive. Not so much now.
Speak for yourself. I was always this ugly. But still got married.
Please teach me this power... Master.
Make a girl laugh. When they laugh they close their eyes and can't see how ugly you are.
Charisma (or rizz as the kids call it). Not everyone cares about dating the most attractive person they can get, I think most people just want somebody who is authentic and kind. Don't be shy about being yourself. If you are a good person, people will notice.
I'm not married, but I am a little bit ugly and I've dated girls that most people would agree are "out of my league".
OMG, is THAT what "rizz" means? TIL.
no cap
I second this. As a woman who doesn’t fit into body type norms, being super confident goes a long way in attracting people
Nah, I was born on the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Nothing much has changed since
After not seeing my oldest friend's dad for over a decade I commented to him that he looked like he hadn't aged a day.
His response was that he just got old early! I still get a chuckle thinking about that one.
This just looks like 25 vs 35. Just wait until this guy gets a load of 45
Lol my husband's former 25-year-old-pretty-boy self would probably die of shock seeing my husband's current 35-year-old-good-enough self🤣
He used to do a whole skin care routine, be into taking a million selfies, go shopping for fashionable clothes, etc.
Now he uses shampoo as body wash and calls it good, wears a t shirt and jeans every day, and grew a beard simply because he was tired of shaving
We men call that mental/emotional exhaustion over responsibility.
This right here. With a wife, kids, a house and pets you have an insane amount of responsibility. It's constant and neverending. You really just kind of give up on any personal identity or trying to dress nice. Why dress nice when you're for sure going to get those clothes dirty doing some chore around the house?
Nah bro, forge a new personal identity butt-ass nekkid. Someone could take away your clothes, but they probably won't rip off your skin. Stroll around nude, dude a tall Captain Morgan stance, feel the breeze. Bend something strong, do the pelvic thrust and execute the downward "X" with your arms. Pee outdoors on a huge rock, then say, "SUCK IT MINERAL LUMP"
User deleted comment
15d
I agree with you but what’s throwing me off is for this dude to be 50, his before picture camera quality shouldn’t look like that. His before pictures selfies look like they were taken on a smartphone with a decent camera. That means those pics can’t be much older than early 2010s. Before that smartphone cams were pretty universally bad, they all had a certain look.
I’m not sure if you’re married or not, but My guess is there would definitely be a difference between 35 single man vs. 35 married man.
Marriage is often associated with an increase in responsibilities, be it homeownership, children, maybe for some the squalor you were used to living in is no longer tolerated by a partner, etc. So what's done with downtime may shift towards those responsibilities and less towards the personal maintenance stuff and associated lifestyle activities. No reason to wear suits if you aren't going about town.
Then it spirals from there, going to Costco cause it's mote economically efficient and hey those packs of instant knife cut noodles you used to buy once a week are such a good deal that you just have to get them and end up eating them daily. Dude looks happy in the end with a kid though, and they couldn't care less about what you look like.
*Blerp, replied to the wrong comment.
Why would there be? Marriage itself isn't the reason people stop taking care of themselves.
Source: am 31 and married with a 5 week old.
Edit: people must be misunderstanding my point. I'm asking what about marriage itself makes somebody's life change more drastically. Obviously having kids is going to change your life.
You really shouldn’t marry a newborn.
Marriage is the reason for people who were fit and let themselves go after settling down
It's not an obstacle for people who were always motivated to stay fit beyond getting women and locking down a wife
For me it was after an accident that made me unable to walk for 4 months and unable to run for 4 years (which meant losing my career in which I ran a lot, so I kept fit for that).
Obviously getting married hasn't helped either
Not only letting themselves go, but also having someone with them to tell them to eat, or to prepare some real food for them.
The young unmarried people I've known usually subsist on the barest minimum of food. Once married, they have another person around to help with the whole food thing.
Getting married didn't make a huge difference for me but having a kid absolutely did.
I used to regularly forget to eat meals just because I didn't think about it. During the pandemic I did gain some weight because my wife and I got more conscious about planning meals and cooking. Then having a kid, I have to make sure she has 3 meals and a couple snacks every single day and I end up eating more as a result.
Plus my toddler doesn't eat everything either and I play the role of big daddy trash can.
Wait, wouldn’t you be the least likely to know then if you JUST had a kid?
I’m 42 with 3 kids, ages 11, 9, and 7. Holy cow, when I was in my 20s I had ALL OF THE TIME for self care. Basketball and tennis with friends, long walks by myself. Time to prep fruits and veggies that I get to eat!
Now, most of my time and energy is put toward my family. And if I do spend an hour chopping up produce, my kids eat most of it. I absolutely have let myself go over the years, and I’m just now working to get my fitness back, as 11, 9, 7 is way easier than 5, 3, 1 etc.
I think you probably have a bunch of friends with teenagers that are still somehow prioritizing their own self care, but I think they are the exception. And I hope you are also the exception alongside your older friends.
I hear you. Almost exactly the same in terms of number of kids and ages (11,9,5). Started making sure I get to a gym/hit class every morning at 7:30 and 9 months later feel a new man.
I’m lucky in that I run my own business so can rock in at 9:30 but I’m so much better off for it generally. I’m happier. Wife is happier. Kids are too.
I suppose all I’m saying is that the effort to give yourself 30/45 mins at some point in the day for your fitness is worth it. Cheesy but it will be worth it for you and others too.
Ps it’s bloody hard when they’re small. Just. Case of rowing in together and getting through it.
Yeah thats my point. Just being married isn't going to stop somebody from doing all of those things, or at least it shouldn't in my opinion.
Married w/ kids is different.
"winged freak....terrorizes..."
Jokes on you. I am married and I still look like "before", the way we conduct our life every day matters, the food we eat, the media we consume, the exercises we do matters, ok I am lying, I am way worse than the "after" , like double married.
Same. And with less hair.
My favorite is the sushi restaurant hidden camera prank, where he acts as the sushi chef.
Thank you making me discover this, it's pure gold :)
I lost it when that MASSIVE block of rice came rolling on by on the sushi conveyor belt. That was hilarious.
“You didn’t bring your own tongs?”
Wtf is this video. I almost choked laughing when the "salmon sushi special" came out
Loved the belly special. X2
This is hilarious. Thanks for sharing!
This is hysterical
I don't need to understand what they're saying for this one to be funny
I did a good job holding in the laughters until i saw the skinny dude spit on the other guys.
turn on CC for English subtitles
Was just gonna comment this. Nice to see a fellow who also watches Hood Boyz.
Afaik, Bro already gone hiatus or left the group around year ago btw. So Hood Boyz are duo now.
He did have his own solo channel that doing great when I checked last time.
I knew it was him! Is he not still with hood Boyz? :(
That's where I seen him from! Dang, I didn't know the sushi chef used to look like a kpop boyband member. He's got the height and voice lol.
from Kpop to K-Pop
He just aged and didn't exercise (probably busy with kiddos)
And a simpler haircut that isn't styled
Also lighting (professional photos and being outside vs inside) and in one of the pictures he might have a bit of makeup. If he got did his hair similarly and got back into the same shape he wouldn’t look too different.
It's all of it. It's not one thing. Kids, marriage, 15 years. Modeling photos versus funny selfies in the laundry room. This is just called aging.
Dollars to donuts, he cooked for himself single and his wife cooked for both when they were married.
Way easier putting on weight when all you have to do is sit at the table.
This is more like before and after having children, he still looks happier after.
Yes, the Korean comments in the original post also pointed out how romantic and selfless it was that he got pregnant in his wife's stead.
Lmfao
Koreans are BRUTAL omg
My in-laws immigrated to the US from Korea. I stated learning some simple Korean to be able to communicate with her family that didn’t speak english, and what I learned on that first new years’ family gathering was that all they talk about is how fat everyone got last year
It's not just Korea. It doesn't seem taboo to state that someone is fat or make a few jokes about it in Asia
Bruh
Guess the joke transcends cultures.
That’s a beer baby for ya
No joke. I had a 6 pack for 10 years. Did triathlons and running races all the time. Kid comes into picture: boom! Out of shape and my “off days” are me catching up cleaning up, mowing, going to Costco, or some other crap life thing.
Yeah dude, I was an NCAA D1 champ and American record holder. You could see the striations on my abs. And I stayed in sports after college through my mid 30s. Looked even better. Got a daughter and a house now. I'm probably 20 pounds overweight. No muscles, nevermind abs. But I love my daughter and I love my wife and I love my house. It ain't easy but I'd pick this every time.
| You could see the striations on my abs.
Damn, I would need the greatest liposuction surgery of all-time to get to see my ab striations.
My ab striations are abstractions.
Nah, you just need a razor, air compressor, and a serious lack of mental health.
Genuine questions as a possible future dad. What's keeping you from working out? Is it really that hard to dedicate some time to working out? What about working out in evening when the kid's asleep? Or is just the exhaustion from raising kids themselves?
It’s the time constraints and exhaustion mostly. I still manage to workout 3-5 times a week but it’s really hard.
Work 40-50 hours a week is tiring enough. Then you get home and, since you’ve been gone all day, the kid understandably wants time with you, which makes you even more tired. And kids go through phases where they don’t sleep much, or don’t go to bed on time, or are just little monsters that require intense mental (and sometimes physical) energy to deal with. Really messes with a routine.
Add in yard work, cleaning, cooking, shopping, home projects, budgeting, other community things (relatives/friends/church/etc), yard work, and errands of every imaginable type…let alone making previous, minimal time for yourself or you and your spouse… and all the sudden a dedicated workout routine seems less crucial.
Thankfully my kid is very active, so between him and an active dog I still typically get a bit of physical exercise even on “rest” days.
Have 2 kids, workout 6 days a week before work or over lunch break. This dude just gave that part of his life up which isn’t the end of the worldZ
Yeah it's all about priorities, but also, kids can be different. Some kids will be super nice and let you sleep through the whole night, others will force you to exist on 4 hours per night for over a year. Then stuff like commutes etc comes into it, so I can totally understand why someone just wouldn't be able to prioritise it.
Nail on the head. My 2 month old will not stay asleep for longer than 2 hours at a time so wife and I are operating on around 5 hrs of sleep a night.
I almost collapsed after mowing the lawn today; my body isn’t operating the way it used to. I still try to go to the gym 3x a week but my workouts aren’t even close to being the same level of efficient they used to be.
Sleep is important people!
It might not even be that. It's just that you age and simply have less energy. Or your job is demanding... okay, there are millions of reasons and some take it better than the next guy.
On the other hand, if you push all the responsibilities to your spouse, I suppose you can keep up with your pre kid lifestyle.
Also, everything takes more time when there are young kids involved. Maybe the gym has child care? Awesome? But it now takes half an hour just to get out of the house when it previously took 5 minutes, and another half hour to get the kid bundled up and back home after. So the gym outing that used to take an hour now takes two hours.
Or maybe your wife also wants to work out but there isn’t child care at the gym. You used to be able to go together and both get your workouts done in an hour. Now she goes while you look after the kid, then she comes back and you go while she looks after the kid. That one hour just became two and a half hours.
Or maybe you used to work out on your way to or from work, but now you need to drop the kid off or pick them up at daycare during that time.
Multiply this by everything else (shopping, bedtime routines, less flexible meal times, etc.) and it’s very easy to go from parents who worked out 5 times a week to parents who work out one time a week when they are lucky.
What's keeping you from working out?
Not the guy you asked, but I"m a dad of four who doesn't go to the gym anymore. It's not so much "What's stopping you" as much as it is less of a priority. When I was looking my best, I had 2 or 3 kids, working a stationary job with downtime where I was able to go to the gym, and probably did less chores.
Now, I have 4 kids, work a physical job where I'm out of the house for 15 hours (3 to 5 days a week, depending), more chores cause bigger house, more things to take the kids to. Spending an hour going to the gym just isn't a personal priority, and essentially impossible on a work day. I still do physical stuff. I play team sports, do daily pushup tracking at work, have some equipment at home I'll do every now and then.
To be steady at the gym, you really need to make it a routine, and with kids, your routine will change. You still can make it part of your life, but for example, you might not want to if you have to wake up 2 hours earlier every day, or if you would have to work all day, THEN go to the gym, and by the time you get back your kids is in bed and you've haven't seen them at all.
a lot of old athletes are used to eating ton of food. when you stop burning them as much, you gain weight. you don't magically gain weight when you have kids, most people just have poor diet. i lost ton of weight when my kid was born from stress and not having time to eat food, i was skipping meals. but a lot of people, when they are skipping meals, would just eat snacks throughout the day, which ends up having more calories
Dad of a one year old. Prior to being a father I was an NCAA D3 athlete and post college fitness and working out was very important to me. I kept a habit of working out or doing something physical 4-6 days per week very well despite working a fairly demanding job (60-90 hours per week).
Now the first year with my kid was probably more time constraining than it'll be in the future (could easily be wrong here). But your sleep schedule is terrible, especially if you're waking up multiple times in the middle of the night. And the only time to work-out for me is either setting a 4am alarm or at like 9pm after you've taken care of all the other stuff. I now understand why people stay late at work vountarily. At the office you're uninterrupted. Once you're home, it's nonstop responsibility until kid goes to bed. And by the time they're in bed, you're ready to go to bed.
But really the main thing is that 1) getting out of the habit of working out makes it much harder to re-establish and 2) prioritizing exercise means you are by definition dumping on your partner to handle the child duties for that 1-2 hours. Before I could go to the gym or my rec league sport and I wasn't adding a responsibility to my wife. Now I am. And obviously there's already less quality time together just the two of us, so it feels selfish to purposefully add to that burden.
Realistically too, stopping working out shouldn’t mean you become overweight. Even without working out you shouldn’t be eating over a maintenance and should adjust your diet. I honestly hardly work out because I’m lazy but I’m a normal weight. Weight is more about diet than exercise.
Yeah but also if you're that active, you're probably used to a super high caloric intake since you're burning them off to maintain that level of activity.
So you don't even realize that what was maintenance at your current bf% is now an 800 calorie surplus or more, especially since all of your mental energy is spent on the little one and trying to function on half the sleep. Plus, your "weight is staying the same" (as muscle mass shrinks and is replaced by fat) so what does it matter?
And then bam, a gut out of nowhere
Not saying it's not saveable or that OP couldn't have avoided it, just that it makes complete sense how it happened
Kids change everything, but I have kids and still manage to work out consistently. Not easy and sacrifices are made to the video game gods, but worth it 😂
Retirement is when we will catch up on our gaming, my guy. It will be fabulous.
User deleted comment
15d
Hope we end up in the same one 😂
User deleted comment
15d
Damn that sounded like me when I had my daughter and married. Was power lifting and in shape then bam a dad/ Covid hit dad bod. Now divorced and back in shape and lost more weight than I was in working out pre child
Feels like there is a missing part to this story.
It's like when you watch the first episode of a new show and skip to the show finale right after.
I’ve noticed my gut in the last year lol. Daughter is just past 1. It never existed before, but hey sacrifices right 😁
My brother shared a picture from 10 years ago at his wedding. He looks in great shape and i look pretty thin. Now, he is straight up fat and i have dad gut. In the picture i didnt even have traps, like my skin was just draped over bone.
I used to work 8.30 to 5.30 and walk to and from work 45 minutes each way, skip breakfast, skip most lunches. Now, i work from home and have two kids. I never skip meals and drink too much beer but i excercise and dont smoke anymore.
I looked back and thought i looked good but actually, i was probably more unfit then than now.
mowing
The days that I mow are now the "active" days.
For real, I probably hit peak sexiness post-marriage, pre kids. Currently 37 with a 4 and 2 year old and I look like a sack of dog shit
Came here to say the same thing. And good for him too.
Or before and after 20 years have passed
Married or not, age comes for us all.
He looks so happy now. And that last picture is pure joy.
Yeah! Give me a joy up over a glow up any day
I needed to hear this comment today. Reframing my health journey as a 'joy up' is going to do wonders for my mental health.
I'm not in my 20s anymore and I need to discover who healthy 30s me is instead of trying to get back to early 20s me who was riding the crazy/hot train.
Good on ‘im. He achieved his gold. A victory lap is due.
I would be very happy with that as an “after”. That would actually be a big improvement for me.
Then get to it bro I believe in you 💪
I like this guy after marriage. He looks fat and happy.
This is cute, he looks so happy with his family. Also like he almost dropped a persona and grew into he was meant to be. He seems goofy too I love it.
I recently gained a little weight. So did my husband. I told him that I love his belly and the dad-bod look, but I hate the way I look. I was having a depressive episode and he sat next to me, hugged me and said "I love gaining weight with you together". Yes, I cried.
Checked out your profile and if that's you in the brown outfit with the cat face, you're doing well. Healthier weight than most people I know and as someone in their 40's who's ranged from under weight to overweight, you're in a good place.
Thank you! Thankfully I have no weight related health issues. But I just really can't stand looking at the mirror without clothes on. He's really helping me to love myself for who and what I am. I have no idea what I did to deserve such a wonderful human being in my life.
Glad to hear. Hold onto him and return the favor. It's all you need to do.
He got pregnent
Twink death
Its called aging...
Hood boyz, isn't it?
It's funny to see a man show this because the insult of "letting themselves go after marriage" has always been directed at women. I once read a book from the 1800s and the male author was very sexist claiming women who get married immediately neglect their looks.
Remember girls, all oppas eventually become ajhussis, so don't choose based on looks.
From K-Pop star to middle-aged American.
From zero to hero.
Unironically. (But also ignorantly)
Still got thick hair. Nothing a workout routine and some dedication couldn't change. Maybe lay off the cup noodles a bit.
Before and after 20 years, marriage or no marriage.
He seems to be happier and less stressed!
He still looks just as happy.
It also looks like he's aged I don't know 10 years or so, and some of the before photos look like he might have been 16 or 17. Life happens man.
So time went by and, let me get this right, he aged?
That's not marriage, that's 25 to 35. Happens to the best of us.
Boy eating good
You know, I've actually heard a conspiracy theory about this, supposedly people age sometimes, but it happens really slowly because the government doesn't want us to know about it.
Right? It's almost as if we looked different when we were younger, or something.
More like before and after age
Some of those photos look 10+ years ago. He’s gained weight but also just getting older.
He seems like a really good, and funny guy 😍❤️
So why did he stop wearing shirts ?
I was like, I don’t think marriage did this, but then he shows his kid at the end, and that will do it.
The picture of him with his child makes it all worth it. It looks like he has put his family first and himself last. Plus he got the girl already, time to relax.
Is this the case with most people?
Easier to be skinny when you’re younger and ridiculously hard once you get older.
AKA getting old.
He got that gift at the end, and its worth the aging.
Full of love
I think he meant before and after "aging"
Early 20s vs late 30s
Contrary to incel and pua logic, aging affects how we men look as well
I already look like this and I'm not even married yet :D I guess I'm doing something wrong, but hey at least life is happy :D
at least he look happy
I moved to the US and got married. My doctor said I'd put on the expected 10lb for moving to the US, and the expected 10lb for getting married.
Bro still need to lose some of the pregnancy weight 😂😂
It’s not marriage it’s marriage with kids
This are Jo's young and not young photos. Marriage had nothing to do with him getting a big gut.
I can empathize that parenting leaves very little time for self-care (especially as a full-time working single mom). 🥵
from CIA's gay experiment, to old school korean dad
charlie bravo, mission failed
I did the statistical analysis on that man's gut and came to the following conclusion:
Wife is very good cook
It’s not the marriage, it’s the kids that age you. I see kids toy in the bathtub behind him
19 vs 39.
He's a funny prankster 😂
Honestly, I prefer the dad version. He feels more human and seems like a really nice guy / dad too
He just aged
So he got old and happy
Time is the fire in which we all burn
hey, we all get older and fatter...
I too look older than I did before I got married fifteen years ago
That's more like after getting a kid.
Look what time hath wroght
He has that dad rizz.
it’s called aging bruh
Bruh was gonna look like that regardless
he did have at least one child that we know of.
Anyone know the name of the music?
Damn funny how his sexy smile has become a goofy -dad smile now. 😅
"Nothing fucks you harder than time"
Davos Seaworth
Gonna take a shot in the dark and say the "before" photos also include "before his mandatory military service"
I also no longer look like I'm 20
My love my man. Happy to see he got his priorities straight!
He's happy I presume.
He looks happy. Made me smile.
Isnt this just called aging ? Lol.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.