My partner and I have been together for three years, and we recently welcomed our daughter in February. She’s the light of my life, but our financial situation is a dark cloud over us right now.
The Background:
My partner went through a rough divorce three years ago, ending up with a house and $80,000 in unsecured debt. Fast forward to now, with the added costs from our daughter’s birth and my partner being on unpaid maternity leave, our finances are in a critical state. She’s enrolled in a debt consolidation plan, paying $1,000 a month for the next three years. With daycare costs and all other bills, it feels like we’re drowning. Before we got together, I was saving over $1,000 a month. Now, I have barely $50 in savings. Every dime I earn goes into keeping our household afloat.
The Dilemma:
I’ve been pushing for bankruptcy as a potential solution. I even spoke with an attorney who confirmed that my partner is a good candidate for Chapter 7 bankruptcy, which would wipe out most of her debts (except the car and student loans). This would free up about $22,000 over the next two years, money we desperately need. But my partner is very hesitant. She doesn’t even want to meet with a bankruptcy attorney to discuss it. I’ve scheduled three consultations, and while she agreed to go, I’m not confident she’ll actually show up.
Recent Developments:
We did meet with one attorney, but my partner remains against Chapter 7 bankruptcy because she found information online suggesting she "wouldn't be able to have a bank account." I looked at her research, and it was the first thing Google AI generated. It actually said it could happen, not that it would. I asked her to talk to her parents or a friend who filed Chapter 7 for reference, but she said she isn't ready yet.
My Concerns:
I’m exhausted from covering all the bills, including her debt from a previous marriage. I feel like I’m giving everything I have to support our family, but without her cooperation, I’m not sure how long I can keep this up. She feels jaded because she sold her house to use as a down payment on this one because I told her I wouldn't move into the home she bought with her ex. She wanted to speed things up because she is getting older.
My Questions:
- Am I being too pushy by insisting on bankruptcy?
- Am I wrong for telling her last month's debt payment is the last from me?
- What should I do if she ultimately refuses to meet with an attorney?
I don’t want to push her, but I also don’t want to continue paying for her previous marriage’s debt. I’d rather that money go toward building our family’s future.
TL;DR: My partner has $75,000 in debt from a previous marriage and is on unpaid maternity leave after the birth of our daughter. I'm covering all bills, including $1,000/month in her debt payments. I’ve suggested bankruptcy to free up money, but she refuses to discuss it with an attorney. Am I being too pushy, or is she being unreasonable? What should I do if she won’t meet with an attorney?
Info- why didn’t you want to move in to her previous house? How much money did it came from her selling the house? Was it fully paid off? Did you added some money to the down payment? I think is some information that needs to be cleared up too. How were your finances working previously to her getting pregnant and during pregnancy?