Well son, we were both lonely after the divorce and we both nave needs, physical needs. We still can't stand each other, but we are mature enough that after a few glasses of wine we can get out the cuffs and.... Why are you walking away son? I was still talking!
Once you connect to our complementary WiFi, our AI figures out how best to accommodate your needs based on your schedule, travel history, contacts and financial balances. It cross-references every facet of your life to make sure your stay is perfect.
If sees you about to send a message to the wrong person about how much you enjoyed the weekend together, your message will be intercepted automatically to prevent awkward conversations. If the system detects you accidentally making a reservation at a different hotel, your reservation will be cancelled to prevent disappointment when you realize you booked the wrong hotel! These benefits continue indefinitely even after you check out!
Free body disposal and room cleanup. Your boss and the cops do not need to know the disaster that happened in that room. It will be like they never existed and you were never here.
"Huh, says here we can use our BestWestern points at the sex dungeon in the basement, open from 9 PM to 4 AM every night... sterilized between uses, by reservation only..."
"Sir, one of the perks of your membership is that you are in the computer and when you arrive at the desk, we don't have to punch in your information."
“The breakfast buffet is open / to 10 am. Just go across to the Holiday Inn and use this card if they ask, but they never ask (wink)”