AITA for suing my parents for my college money?

AITA

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Accomplished_Bar5656/, posted in r/AmItheAsshole/

Original - 1 yr. ago

Update - July 3rd 2024

Short n sweet

AITA for suing my parents for my college money.

My great-aunt set up savings accounts for all of her female relatives. In our culture education for women is not really valued and she thought that was bullshit.

She lived with her father in London where she was educated. She went on to attend university and became a doctor She married a British man, they moved to America and had a great life. She funded the education of as many of her neices and grand neices as she could.

When she passed away she left money for every girl relative she could.

My parents managed to access the accounts that were set up for my sister and I. They used it to pay for my brother's wedding. My sister didn't care because she got married two years out of high school and had no intention of going to college.

When I graduated I went to the bank to get money for school and it was almost all gone. There was like $13,000 left.

I asked my parents about it and they said they had needed the money. I finally found out where the money went. I got furious. I got student loans and moved out. I am a great source of shame to them and I don't give two fucks.

I am currently suing them for the money that was left for me. My entire family is against me. They all think I am a complete asshole for airing private family business in public. And that I am putting money ahead of family. My friends are all on my side but they are all Americans and don't really get my culture. Neither do I to be honest.

My brother called me up and offered to pay for my university if I drop the lawsuit. I agreed as long as we had a legally binding contract. He said I was being an asshole for not trusting him. I said he should not have accepted my money for his wedding. It is causing all kinds of embarrassment in our community.

I am somewhat ashamed to be doing this but I don't want to have this debt I should not have.

UPDATE on suing my parents for my college money.

It's over. I got my money.

I have also pretty much been disowned by my family but I consider that a win as well.

My parents ended up having to mortgage some property to pay me back for what they stole. My family is embarrassed that I forced them to this point after they had offered to pay me back in installments. Nobody is willing to answer me when I ask what would make my parents pay me back if I was stupid enough to trust them.

I have been told that I will never find a husband from our culture with my belligerent attitude and strident independence. I laughed. I do not want anything to do with that culture except perhaps enjoy the food. I plan on never returning to that country.

I am enjoying the independence I have achieved and am more than happy to know that several other of the young women in my family have taken steps to lock down the education funds left for them.

For those of you that think it is sexist that my great aunt only cared about educating women, please die angry.

in BORUpdatesby Faith_in_Cheese

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Majestic-Constant714

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Good for her. That they think they are punishing her by disowning her is pretty funny. I'm sure she is so sad, that the people who attempted to steal her future aren't in her life anymore. They probably wouldn't even have some of that property if it weren't for OOP's money, so why should she feel bad that they had to mortgage (not even sell) it?

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I wonder what her culture is. My little sister is from Iran - a friend of her family once told her "that she's not even Persian anymore", because she asserts herself, speaks her mind and doesn't take any bullshit. They place insane value on ostentatious weddings, too, so that could fit - but they also place high value on education, even for women, I think, so I'm not sure. Maybe they're Indian?

Worried_Spread9990

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My first thought was Afghan, tbh. I know a Pashto girl and she had to fight her family tooth and nail to be able to get higher education here (they moved here a couple of years ago). Her mother still gives snide remarks to her about how unnecessary education is for women.

Wild_Cauliflower2336

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All the Iranian women that I know are educated and assertive.

I don't know why they would say that about not being Persian.

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She didn't follow their politeness rules anymore. Which I get, it's this unholy and ridiculous song and dance you have to observe in every social interaction, like only accepting something to eat after it has been offered three times (my sister's relatives initially went hungry when they visited us, because we didn't know and only offered once 😂). Or not politely listening to endless jabber when you're out of time - cutting someone off is a big no-no. And so much more.

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Met some great Persian friends back when I was learning English. Awesome folks but I'm still stuck up on the fact that not only they have to cover themselves, there are regions where they weren't even allowed to ride bikes!

For the men, generally the less Muslim they were, the more accepting they were of women

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And did you meet those Iranian women IN Iran, or internationally? Because Muslim women outside the influence of a religious totalitarian regime tend to act differently from women living under a religious totalitarian regime. I know that her mother was married off to her father when she was 13 (wasn't officially legal, but nobody gave a damn) and was given hormone injections to make her ready to conceive. She wasn't allowed to go to school and taught herself to read, write and do math later on.

That was a different generation, of course - my little sister and all her siblings went to school and university (at least while they weren't imprisoned and tortured and had to flee the country, but I digress). I wouldn't exactly call her sisters assertive, though - they tend to get beaten up by their husbands, which may contribute to their non-assertiveness. I'm just bloody glad we got my little sister out of that mess and set her on a completely different path in life.

Wild_Cauliflower2336

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Both.

Actually, the ones in Iran (Tehran, specifically) aren't acting like they are living under a religious regime.

Most people are only wearing a token cover-up.

The coats (Mantoo) have gotten shorter and are more like short jackets.

The head cover is around their neck most of the time or barely covering their hair.

I have seen tight Lululemon legging and mid-riff baring tops.

Lots of women have manicures and pedicures and dyed hairs.

Lots of makeup.

Lots of plastic surgery. Nose jobs, lip fillers, botax, micro-blade brows.

The Iranian women as a whole have higher education levels than men.

There are women attorneys and taxi drivers.

WeirdChickenLady

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It’s not uncommon for toxic families, regardless of culture, to project their individual values onto their culture/religion as a whole. The refrain of “this is how EVERY family is so good luck finding anyone who treats you better than we do” is an extremely common control tactic.

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Possible but a lot of Indians highly value educating their daughters because it makes them more eligible for educated men who can help the family out.

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Reminds me of super conservative Christian families. You get the weirdo illiterate ones who just want to breed but a lot of mainstream very conservative families give their daughters college education (in proper fields like education or missionary work) so they can be good wives to their politician/pastor husbands. I assume Indian families at least let them choose their fields of study...

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I thought maybe she’s from Pakistan

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Right?! Like, don't threaten me with a good time.

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It's OK, OOP will see them again in a few years needing a hand out "because she owes it to them" when she's grossly successful, her parents are still paying off the mortgages, and dad needs a kidney.

1.5K

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It's almost like the aunt knew the rest were sexist dirtbags.

Beautiful-Routine489

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Oh wd u look at the time, it’s half past get a divorce o’clock.

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Right? However could she have guessed.

Good for you, OOP.

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Yup.

I hope OP knows that somewhere out there, her aunt is raising a glass in honor of the niece who fought for what she was owed. She must be proud to see another female in her family buck that repressive bullshit culture.

somesortoflegend

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yeah lol, her aunt was sexist because clearly the rest of the family/culture only wants uneducated servant wives and giving the boys money wouldn't even go for education. Also clearly the males would get plenty of familial support if they went to college so it's not hard to wonder why some people are upset about the money only going to the women.

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Right?!?! I'm so happy that several of the other young ladies have locked down their college funds away from their family. Smart ladies!!

Remote-Caramel7707

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OOP will go far now being able to fund her education and even further for having ditched her toxic family

FriesWithShakeBooty

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But watch them resurface in a few years when she finishes her education and gets a sweet job. They'll be screeching about how she owes them; they mortgaged their home so she could go to school!

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They either coming out woodwork for her sweet job money and/or her living in another country so they take advantage of her immigration status - I wouldn't put it past them to pull that since they bunch of sexist thieving money-grubbing assholes.

Backgrounding-Cat

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They have arranged her marriage and are pissed she doesn’t come to visit them for any reason so they could spring the trap

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Or when she gets married and has kids.

greyhounds4life1969

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Them

I have been told that I will never find a husband from our culture with my belligerent attitude and strident independence.

OP: Yeah, that's the point

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“Don’t threaten me with a good time!”

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Poor op. She will never get a sexist husband who puts her down, forces her to be a SHAM, teaches their son to be like him, prevets his daughters to go to school and so on.

Ans in case it's not clear, this is sarcasm

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And when does get a husband or partner, the family will then "change their minds" and demand she forgives them or most likely demand an apology from OOP.

attachedtothreads

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I love the great-aunt and her great-niece! Such fighters and inspiration to others!

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Oh, so you're stupid stupid

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I also love “Please die angry”

ohyoushiksagoddess

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I am so stealing that.

IcePsychological7032

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I will ERUPT FERAL screaming from my fluffy cardigan

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It will be two of us then

attachedtothreads

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That is an amazing line!

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Came here to write this! I hope OOP encourages all the other girls in her family to come to her for help with their education - she could become the Underground Railroad to funnel girls out of her shithole country!

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Please die angry

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"please die angry" mic drop

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I feel like that and "I do not want anything to do with that culture except perhaps enjoy the food" are such great flairs.

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Please die angry

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hell yeah I'd love please die angry as a flair

Bubbles-Scribbles

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Please die angry

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I would also like please die angry as a flair

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Please die angry

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Likewise!!!

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All the grace of a cow on stilts 🐄

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flair added

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Please die angry

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💖💖💖

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All the grace of a cow on stilts 🐄

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updated

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All the grace of a cow on stilts 🐄

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It's in the flair list now

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Please die angry

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thank you!!

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thank you!!

You're welcome!

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I may just use this against my stepmom one day 😃

FriesWithShakeBooty

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I do not want anything to do with that culture except perhaps enjoys the food

Okay, this made me laugh.

Less haha-funny: the way people will say "you're putting money ahead of family" when OOP's parents did it first. I'm glad she got her money and - oh no! The people who stole from her and didn't value you because she's a girl disowned her. Oh no. Oh dear.

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Yeah OOP's parents putting money (wedding) ahead of family (daughter's education) definitely sucks. I'm glad that they got their comeuppance. Better them dealing with mortgage than OOP dealing with debt because they got "alllll the familial support"/s they need (probably won't have anyone volunteer to help with the mortgage)

FriesWithShakeBooty

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probably won't have anyone volunteer to help with the mortgage

People are always so quick with opinions for other people's money.

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Never said no one would help if they were asked to, just doubt people would offer to help unprompted. Speaking more to the human character rather than someone's material things. Just my opinion

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Good for her for realizing that a sexist culture doesn't have any value for her. It can be hard to break free from that brainwashing, especially when your entire relationship with your family and community is on the line.

NatureCarolynGate

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|They all think I am a complete asshole for airing private family business in public. And that I am putting money ahead of family|

The parents and brother are a bunch of hypocrites. The parents put money ahead of family when they stole the two daughter's money and used it to finance the brother's wedding. The brother is just as bad. He could have stopped this and said to the parents 'no' it is our sister's money. But he didn't.

|My brother called me up and offered to pay for my university if I drop the lawsuit. I agreed as long as we had a legally binding contract. He said I was being an asshole for not trusting him.|

What reason did OOP have for trusting any of these scoundrels. His parents stole from her and her brother was complicit.

OOP: Oh yeah, I am going to trust your word after you ripped me off. The only reason that you are pretending to care is the community is aware of your theft and you are shamed.

|For those of you that think it is sexist that my great aunt only cared about educating women, please die angry.|

I think great aunt is awesome. I could kind of die happy knowing she cared about educating the women in her family.

KingPrincessNova

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the way you make block quotes is by putting an angle bracket before the text

> example

makes

example

BridgeZealousideal20

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example

Thanks stranger

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“Please die angry” is the best post ending I’ve ever seen…

Going in my “to be used later” box in my heart…lol

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Please die angry

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Same! I want it as a flair!

AND I need to remember to use it often when the opportunity strikes!!

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All the grace of a cow on stilts 🐄

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flair added and assigned

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Please die angry

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Thank you! 🙌🏼😁

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I'm a dude who has no issue with the fact that she only left money for women. Based on how your family acted, it's clearly necessary for anything approaching equity. What a boss lady.

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Exactly. Why would the aunt give money to the males for univeristy when they live in a culture which expects women to stay home and raise kids and men to go out?

Just rage baiters trying to change the topic of the story.

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I'm sure other people are thinking this about their own communities but to me this was the most desi shit I ever read. So glad for OOP.

digitydigitydoo

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For me, it wasn’t the sexist attitude toward female education or the belligerence at airing family wrong doing because those are found world-wide; it was the raiding of a college fund to pay for an extravagant wedding.

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Yes 🙈

But also the "private matter in public"

digitydigitydoo

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Yeah, no, that’s universal to me too!

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Oh, that wedding had to be EXPENSIVE, but for them to pay for the wedding and STILL have 13k left over... im very curious to know how much they actually stole from OP

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They stole from OP and her sister.

It might not have been just the wedding either. There could have been an extravagant gift to the couple as well or also a "bride price" if it was an arranged marriage.

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I thought maybe some rural persians but that doesn't make sense for persians who escaped.

DishGroundbreaking87

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I’m white British and I work in mental health. Last week I was telling my aunt about the shame and stigma some of my clients face from their family because of community values. She yelled “that’s absurd! Who do they care for? their daughter or the….” I finished the sentence for her and there was an awkward silence when she realised I was dead serious.

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Sorry, English isn't my first language, can you explain?

Useful_Language2040

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u/DishGroundbreaking87 had to explain to their aunt that some people genuinely care more about the opinions their community may have about their family member seeking mental health treatment than that their family member gets much-needed help. That is, if their choice is to suffer in silence, or get help and risk their family be judged for it, the expectation is that they should suffer in silence. If they dare do otherwise, they are "shaming" their families.

It is a horrible attitude, and I hope it has, overall, decreased considerably in the past 20-30 years... But there will be pockets where it persists.

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What is desi?

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South Asian, so Indian, Pakistani or Bangladeshi.

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And Sri Lankan.

(I think some Nepali people are okay with the blanket term too)

Four_beastlings

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Privacy reset

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She made a comment that the British did away with widows throwing themselves on their husband's funeral pyre in her culture, so yeah.

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I missed that!!

I should not be so excited that I immediately figured out whom this was about simply because people in my country still think that women shouldn't study or that weddings should bankrupt a family or that the sun shines out of a son's ass. 🥲

Every day I thank my stars for my parents; they have two unmarried and highly educated daughters in their 30s and don't push us into anything we don't actively want. Truly unicorns, and that's the tragedy.

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I'd love it if the sister suddenly woke up and wanted her share back.

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Won't find a husband, psh. I've dated all kinds of women and the ones that always stood out to me were the ones that were headstrong and knew when and how to fight for what was theirs.

Godspeed you absolute diamond.

MyFriendsCallMeEpic

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Oh, so you're stupid stupid

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Damn OOP
Your Great aunt is 100% looking down from a good place and smiling at your super shiny spine!

thanks for sharing!

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The brother the whole family are idiots, he wasn't going to give her a dime of any money that's why he was mad she wanted a contact, good for her cut out toxic people, they stole from her it's that simple, that's why they have to pay it back

Alternative_Peace186

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OOP will go far in life. Good for her.

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They all think I am a complete asshole for airing private family business in public. And that I am putting money ahead of family.

No, the person who stole from family did that.

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It's not sexist because aunt knew that the education of the males would all be provided for. She was actually just helping the ones that weren't provided for and that just happened to be the females.

Renway_NCC-74656

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Good for her. I hope she finds a partner that's perfect for her, but more importantly, lives the life SHE wants to live.

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I'm so happy it worked out for op!! The aunt probably knew your family would drag you down and really wanted you to have an out.

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I wish OOP great success in life, so that when she is old and wealthy she can do the same for her nieces and grand nieces and others. Pay it forward 😄

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What assholes OOP's parents were. They literally took that money, which was intended to help empower their daughters, and gave it to their son for his wedding. How the mother allowed that to happen is beyond me.

Backgrounding-Cat

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Parents don’t want empowered daughters. They probably hated the existence of education funds

Weak-Comfortable7085

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Please die angry

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I doubt the mom had any say in the matter.

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I remember your story and am so thrilled for your outcome. Way to stand up for not only yourself but what your aunt meant to be her legacy!

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I have been told I will never find a husband from our culture

Don't threaten me with a good time!

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And that I am putting money ahead of family.

Because stealing money from your daughter's education totally isn't that.

My parents ended up having to mortgage some property to pay me back for what they stole.

They could have done that for the brother's wedding.

I have been told that I will never find a husband from our culture with my belligerent attitude and strident independence.

Is that a promise? Culture is just peer pressure from dead people. It can and absolutely should be ignored as often as necessary.

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"mortgage some property" notice how it doesn't say their own home, no.

this assholes could have done that to fund brothers wedding, so in case it wasn't clear, i wasn't actually about helping the brother, it was about crippling OP's chances at life outside of their "views"

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This sounds like the most Indian shit.

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You go, girlfriend!

The_peach_blossoms

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I love this for her good the trash took itself out , She made her Aunt proud I am sure of it😌❤

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So the parents were able to easily go mortgage a property in order to produce cash for their debts/needs/weddings, but instead they stole from their daughter and then called her an AH for noticing. Stellar parenting by these folks.

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She clearly only left the money for the females because she knew that the males would get their education paid for but not the girls.

InternationalBell633

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I’m glad she stood her ground and fought for what was always rightfully hers. The entitlement of her family knows no bounds. They deserved to have to pay it all back and I’m sure she will live a much happier and fulfilling life without them in it.

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This actually made me so happy ♥️

SummerIceCream3893

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No doubt, OP is a hero to her females cousins and the girls her community. Hope the dumb sh*t parents have put the sister's money back in the account.

ContributionOrnery29

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It's nice to see the cultural argument shut down so succinctly, and after every threat of shunning she simply doubled down that being shunned would be a further boon.

There's really no defence against someone who can't be made to feel shame. I applaud her principles.

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I asked my parents about it and they said they had needed the money.

My parents ended up having to mortgage some property to pay me back for what they stole. My family is embarrassed that I forced them to this point

W. T. F. !?!

So your parents could afford the pay for their sons wedding the whole time - but they just didn't want to use their money - they preferred to steal yours?

Also, tell your brother that your parents thought so little of him, that they refused to spend their money on his wedding - they essentially made you to pay for it.

NTA

DevelopmentBetter260

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Haha die angry 😂🤣

Nervous_Ad_5987

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At least OP inherited Great-Aunt's feisty genes & intelligence.

Pay it forward!

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Love this ending! Go OOP

Brave_anonymous1

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has the balls if steel and an IQ of a flea

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...please die angry

This is badass! I want it for a flair! I wish this girl all the luck in the world.

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All the grace of a cow on stilts 🐄

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its in the flair list now

Unusual-Yoghurt-9962

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The fact that they had to mortgage their house is icing on the cake! OP didn’t only get her money, she got something more: revenge.

Minimum_Ad_4120

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"Please die angry" I love that and need to remember it.

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"Oh no, horrible people giving me the silent treatment? I'd have caved in an instant!" /s

It's nice when the abusive scummy people go NC first :3

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Yay YOU!!!!!!!

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If they took your money legal action is the most effective way to try and get it back. You'll also alienate anyone involved because you forced their hand with the law.

From the context this is the only course of action that will work on these people

Livid_Wish_3398

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While you can't pick your family, you sure the fuck can unpick them.

OccasionMundane3151

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The butthurt men in her comments make that last sentence so much funnier.

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Your great aunt is GREAT

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When someone shows you who they are believe them.

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I am 68f qnd this just made my day. I am smiling. Thank you.

United-Manner20

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Enjoy the cuisine, let the toxic blood family go… enjoy your life and the money that your aunt knew you would need. If she intended for them to have it, she would’ve given it to them. It was yours. Enjoy your happiness and your peace.

ConnectionRound3141

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OPs aunt would be proud. Good for her.

AtomicBlastCandy

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Watch the family want OOP back years from now when they suddenly need a kidney or money

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I think your aunt did a great thing. And I think you did a great thing too. What your parents did is called stealing. And if this helps any of your cousins to stand up and get what is rightfully theirs as well then that's even better. Have a great life. Be proud of yourself. You have done nothing wrong. The person or persons that should be ashamed of themselves are your parents and your relatives that thought it was okay for them to take your money and give it to your brother. This was your aunt 's last wishes and by going against them, They have done her a great dishonor.

ConfidentFrame8967

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"For those of you that think it is sexist that my great aunt only cared about educating women, please die angry."

You go girl.

misskittygirl13

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You go girl. Get your education and carry on your aunts legacy. Be the change. Help encourage other women from your culture to be the change. Only when enough of you stand up and say we will not take this anyone will people listen.

Miserable-Alarm-5963

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Perfection

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One of the best posts I read today. Thank you!!

despicable-coffin

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Your aunt would be proud of you

Puzzleheaded_Big3319

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slow clap. Well done. Well. f-ing. done.

TrueTangerinePeel

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On behalf of your great-aunt, I thank you for fighting for her wishes to be realized. She worked hard for that money to pave the way for future women, not for weddings for the men in the family.

Great job!

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Fuck your parents. They don’t care about you, so why care about them.

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Stood on business!

Bright_Athlete_8579

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Good on you op. Well done.

Moderator removed comment

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BORUpdates-ModTeam

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Moderators have the right to remove posts at their discretion

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My parents did not set up a college fund for me. My parents did promise to pay for my college education. (They funded 100% of my sibling’s college. Our college education was even part of their divorce agreement.) My mother covered the first half using loans, most paid off and some of which was recently forgiven by the federal government. My dad covered the second half using loans and died halfway through my senior year of college, activating a fun (/s) loophole in student loans. If a parent takes out a parent plus loan for their child’s education and then dies, the child is not responsible for the debt. (And if they’re not married, neither is the other parent.) As much as I’m glad that I don’t have to pay for a year and a half of college that I have never used, I’d honestly rather have the last 14 years with my father.

Exciting-Peanut-1526

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Too bad OOP couldn’t get her sisters money back for her. Even if she never planned on using it, maybe that changes. Just one more FU to the parents.

Swimming_Company_706

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Idk if you believe in an afterlife but i bet your aunt is smiling right now for you being so brave ❤️

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It sounds like the OP faced a significant betrayal from their parents, who misused funds specifically designated for their education. Their decision to sue for the remaining money seems justified given the circumstances, especially since they were left with a substantial financial burden due to their parents' actions.

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I misread it as "sexiest" in the last paragraph, and I agree, nothing is more attractive than a smart educated woman who cares for her families well being. That great aunt kicks ass.

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I'm so glad OOP stood up to her family and culture! OOP's aunt was amazing to pass on money to girls, so they could escape too.

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Updateme!

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I will message you next time u/Faith_in_Cheese posts in r/BORUpdates.

Click this link to join 3 others and be messaged. The parent author can delete this post

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What culture? What is this mysterious culture they won’t dare to name? This always makes me suspicious because if they name their “culture” someone from said culture will come forwards and say it isn’t anything like that at all.

Gullible-Advisor6010

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John Oliver Sucks

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Many cultures exist that don't value educating their daughters. In my state there was a massive movement to educate girls during the British Raj. The first woman to get education and educate young girls was from my state. I've read stories in which people threw stones and cow dung on her while she went to teach these young girls.

Young girls/women even now are not encouraged to work. They are encouraged to get married and have kids. That's what settling down means in my country. A woman not working is not a red flag in my country. There are still a few people who look at it as a green flag. Although these people are all older millennials or boomers, they have the power to make the decisions in their families and communities.

Also this story does sound like it may have happened in my country, maybe not in a city but definitely a village. There are so many people in my country who really have a backward ass mindset.

Take your western first world view somewhere else.

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I lived in Brazil and I have found some posts in those communities that claim to be “Brazilian” that get nothing right about our “culture”, even the negative stuff I know we have. The issue in Brazil is not women’s education, but violence against women.

I don’t know how it is in India. The only thing I know about education in India is that there is a strong technological area. I’m glad to know the issues regarding women and education are getting better.

Four_beastlings

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Privacy reset

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The only one I know of is Afghanistan. And even If there are others, this family still moved to US and still allowed their daughter to get a degree, money or not.

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Said NTA the first 7 times I read this story and its 18 updates.

Now, you and OP are TA's for posting about this everyday for a week. I lost care. Get a hobby.

No_Lavishness_3206

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Links?

Creepy_Iron3494

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Her great aunt is sexist. Not because she left money for the women in the family. She is sexist because she ONLY left money for the women in the family.

Op is defending her great aunt and her decision only because she is beneffitting from it.

Not only that, she is also wishing death upon others which proves what kind of horrible person she is.

Just because her family is evil doesn't mean Op has to be an angel.

Being unkind and horrible is the definition of empowerment for a lot of women these days.

spaceylaceygirl

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Which part of the family takes care of the men but not the women was too difficult for you to understand? The aunt decided to even the playing field. You want to be all butthurt well, that's on you.

RogueDairyQueen

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Not only that, she is also wishing death upon others which proves what kind of horrible person she is.

Well Actually, no. “Die angry” really means die still angry. Like, please go ahead and live your whole life obsessed about this, and then die mad about it.

Hope that helps!

browsing-treetops

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You are a super tedious human being without a single, solitary clue.

Great Aunt left money only to the young women of her family because she knew that was the only way they’d have a shot at getting an education. As evidenced by it being stolen for the wedding of OP’s brother. A fucking wedding.

But yeah. Go ahead and say it’s the great aunt who’s sexist 🙄

FecalMatterCowsTasty

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When scales are imbalanced, it's needed to tip them the other way.

If you remain equal, there will always be imbalance.

Now take your head up outside your... and get some fresh air my boy.

gotothebloodytop

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Your anger nourishes me. Signed - A woman

greyhounds4life1969

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Found the incel

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You dont think there’s a reason it’s just for the women? In heavily patriarchal societies why would the boys need a particular leg up?

PS OOP did nothing wrong, screw this cowardly fencesitting