More and more men I meet seem to just barely be getting by, not really enjoying themselves but just trying to make it to the next day. It feels like many of us are stuck in a cycle of routine and obligation, without much joy or purpose. I’m curious, what keeps you going? Is it family, friends, hobbies, goals, or something else? How do you find meaning or motivation in your daily life? I’m looking for genuine insights and personal experiences that might help others who are feeling the same way.
My legitimate answer anytime I tell someone my Plan B.
We don’t know what will happen if we keep pushing forward, we know exactly what will happen if we stop.
🫵
🗣️THIS GUY SUICIDES!!
Same bro. One day at a time.
Might as well stick around and enjoy the show seeing what happens with the rest of the world. Eventually things might change and make you love living again. Happened for me.
Yup. I can always do that tommorrow
I think it was Seneca who said the primary question of philosophy was whether to keep going or not keep going.
I have an unwavering feeling to see how it all plays out. Also, One Piece.
This is the answer.
Also, we've been getting some cool video games in recent years, so that's a plus.
pretty sure its a sake bowl lol
Ain't come this far to only come this far.
Possible bright future
Or sunk cost fallacy 💀
I feel if I didn't buy into the possibility of a bright future, I'd rob myself of the opportunity to do so to begin with. I'd let the opportunities and moments that would lead to the things I want slip by if I bunkered down in a mentality that dismissed it ever happening.
Even if in the end, it wasn't as bright as I had hoped, I can still say I did what I could to make it happen.
Sometimes I feel like I'm just hypnotizing myself to believe there's a possible bright future. Even though I'm "doing what you're supposed to" to achieve my bright future, I still can't see it.
The whole, "work hard now to see success in the future" has really started to sound a lot like "be a good person who follows jesus now and you'll be happy in heaven in the future when you die".
“The most important step a man can take. It's not the first one, is it?
It's the next one. Always the next step”
Life is hard. We're all going to die no matter what we do. But it's important to keep on going. You never know what's around the corner. It could be happiness. Just take the next step and find out.
If I must fall, I will rise each time a better man.
I recommend The Stormlight Archive to anyone going through tough times. Without spoilers, the main theme of the series is to keep going until you can't anymore, even when fighting against a God.
Life before death.
Strength before weakness.
Journey before destination.
This is it right here. I adore that theme and I find it very motivational. Sanderson does a great job in sharing his wisdom with us through his epic storytelling and I keep much of his work close to heart at all times.
Life Before Death!
Inertia. No big reason.
Sometimes weekends are fun
Sometimes
I'm a coward
I met someone once and had the pleasure to date someone who genuinely likes me and cares about me. Not just love but I'm talking catering, listening and actually giving a damn about my wellbeing and although we didn't make it to the finish line. That experience was enough to make me feel less like someone who was unworthy of love and I hope to be able to meet someone that makes me feel the same way I once did.
Stubbornness.
I like my cats
4 kids that rely on me for food, clothing, shelter, and guidance. Other than that, endless distractions.
That’s a part of it, too. Even when I have those thoughts sometimes, I know I have a wife, a daughter, and pets that rely on me. Me leaving wouldn’t just make things harder on them materially, but would permanently mess them up mentally, which I could never do to them.
I have a desire to leave this world better than I found it. Can’t go down for the long sleep till I achieve that.
Here’s a poem I saw on interstellar movie.
“Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”
-Dylan Thomas
Except that poem was actually about thomas's father going blind, not dying. Everybody misinterprets it lol.
Guess we learn something everyday.
Music, friends and the morning sun are all pretty good things.
I absolutely live in a cycle of routines and obligations. I think that's just life when you've got a family and obligations.
I realized a while back that you have to: 1. Carve out a little time to explore. It may be an hour a day, a few hours a week, whatever. But make it happen.
You have to remember to listen to your dreams and explore them. Whatever excites you, you've got to try.
Find pleasure in the ordinary. There's a ton of happiness to be had each day - a walk at lunch, a nice dinner, good music, whatever is your thing.
Don't overlook your loved ones. Odds are that there are fabulous people in your life. Embrace that.
You have to remember to listen to your dreams and explore them
bank balance says no
Also im convinced my loved ones etc dont want me around and just tolerate me. might be true, might be my mental illness, but getting past that is impossible without money so, thats that.
I'm not suggesting you ignore your responsibilities. But if there is something you want to do, you have to find a way explore it.
I don't want to hurt my parents and partner by giving up.
You will be old in no time, whats your hurry to the grave? Even if you live to old age your entire life is just a quick flash in the grand scheme of things. You didn't exist for over 13 billion years before your birth and you wont exist for unknown billions of years after your death. I appreciate this flash of consciousness that i have and try to learn as much as i can and get as much enjoyment out every day as possible before the end comes. Some days are shit and some are incredibly, just go with the flow and try not to die.
You need to find a mission in life. Otherwise, it just becomes a narcissistic, selfish, and daily hunt for self pleasure worthless consumption of resources. Whether that mission is for humanity, or the planet, that is for you to decide.
And even when I say an existence without mission is narcissistic, it might be positive or negative. Lots of guys live in a big old pity party like you are describing. Drudgery, nothing is fun, daily grind, stuck. That’s just as narcissistic as guys just living for the next drug hit or pussy to conquer. I’m not saying self doubt nor good pussy are bad things to have occasionally. Go for it. But meanwhile, find a reason to live that is more important than those things. Pursue medicine, Construction, Environment, make the world a better place. So when you die, and no one remembers your name, at least you did something.
definitely, the reason everyone is so miserable is in large part because we feel left to our own devices, without community or any higher purpose. it's just like this "yeah just fucking do your job and leave me alone" sort of attitude that's pure poison for mental health. we absolutely desperately need places to go for community and pressure free social interaction, and offer people easy access to ways of having an impact on their own community.
alright there are still markets and bars and clubs and everything, but even there everyone is mostly focussed on themselves, and you're seen as weird or intrusive for simply trying to talk to someone you don't know. everyone is in this together, so why the hell is it not socially agreed upon to just share and communicate with everyone around you all the time?
i've also been thinking about having more interactive public art installations, music, audiovisual displays, communal meditation spaces, places where you can just step up and do a speech or have a public discussion or poll, share ideas and things you've been working on etc. basically just what the internet is trying to be, but out in the real world.
cause this shithole of a digital space isn't gonna make us any happier or do us any good in the long term. but pandora's box is already open, and i don't think we're gonna be able to close it, now that we all know what the internet is. at the very least we'd have to find a way to seriously dial down the influence it has on our public discourse and social interactions. and i'm convinced that if most of the major social media servers were to crash tomorrow, the world would be a lot better for it.
reddit is still one of the only places where i feel people really speak their mind, within certain social standards, without obsessing over their own life and how many people they can fool into thinking they have such an amazing time and personality and looks
Thank you for your input. This may sound malicious, but I’m only voicing it because I know there are others out there who feel the same way.
Why sacrifice and suffer to improve a world that despises your very existence?
The natural world doesn’t despise your existence. The natural world is atoms and doesn’t care. What you need to do is make the human world care about others. And at least we can all agree children and those that are downtrodden do not hate your existence.
I’m a big believer in Karma. Not because of some spiritual reason. But because what a person puts out into the world often comes back at them. There are many versions of this saying in pop culture for a reason. “You get that you deserve”, “”What you cast forth comes back three fold”, “You reap what you sow”, “Whatever goes around comes around”, “Chickens come home to roost”.
If you walk into life with a mission, life will reward you. I guarantee it. I don’t know how. I don’t know when. But it will.
If you walk into life aimlessly, life will be random and chaotic. I guarantee that, too.
What’s your mission in life?
I bring health to the world.
It started as a teenager back in the 1980s. I was scared that HIV was going to decimate my generation (I was actually wrong). So despite being a straight guy, I started preaching condoms and gay rights. I brought condoms to high school parties and left them by the beer and chips. It led to a lot of sex positive culture friends, a lot of freaky friends, and a lot of fun friends.
I also became a scientist. I now work at a biotech. I’ve helped develop vaccines, pharmaceuticals, and diagnostics in healthcare over the years. I’ve saved lives and gotten paid to do it. Not a bad mission!
I just listened to this Art of Manliness podcast episode about this, the guest he interviews wrote a book called "Strive." He's a psychologist and really stresses we need some challenge in life to be happy. After listening to this episode I realized the modern world really sets people up to be unfulfilled because everything is just handed to us. We need goals and movement. One of the key quotes I liked was this:
To witness ourselves be courageous and to see ourselves evolve are two critical things for our wellbeing and mental health. You have to strive to achieve these things
Weed and video games gets me through the tougher times, and friends, family, and a couple times a year of soul enriching activities/vacations/etc… keep me looking forward to the future.
I thought about this all weekend. I guess G-d wants me here because after all these decades, I am still here. Boomer white men are spit upon and hated in this internet dimension called -- Reddit. However, if I did not "read" here I would not know what occupies the minds of humans from about age 15 to 30. It has been quite and eye-opening and chilling read - so far.
It amuses me.
I’m doing fine.
Making music, and the curiosity of wanting to know what my best self is like.
Curiosity. There is so much to learn. Also my family. I want to take care of them for as long as I can and watch my kids grow into, hopefully, adults living a fulfilling life.
I genuinely love my life. Wouldn’t change a thing. I have a job that doesn’t pay me all that much, but gives me the opportunity to serve others every single day.
I have a beautiful family, a roof over my head, food to eat, hobbies and passions that I enjoy. Life is great.
I keep moving forward because of my 3 kids. Even though 2 are teens and the other 24. Been widowed for almost 3 years now. Don’t get me wrong I thought about punching out a bunch of time. But then I would hear them joking around, or arguing, supporting each other. I would think to myself “Maybe I will stick around a little longer to see how they do”.
Spite, mostly.
Honestly?
The cats.
I have three, All sisters from the same litter. Rescued before they were weaned, after a dog tore their mama and littermate apart right in front of them.
Being formerly feral, they're barely domesticated, have separation anxiety issues, from losing their mama early, and would be nearly impossible to rehome.
There've been multiple times, in the past couple of years that I would've just left early to avoid the Christmas rush, had I not had to consider what would happen to them.
NB: Please do NOT report this to Reddit as concerning. I'm in no danger. As I said: I've the cats to consider. I'm just replying to what's keeping me going, these days. Sometimes life just be like that. (And I'm all in favor of brighter times ahead, should there be some.)
Jesus, my family that I'm supporting, believing things will get better soon. Especially with the family since I want to have an awesome time with my forever best friend and give the fatherhood my son wants from me that I never had as a kid his age. Dads out there can relate.
Mom, bro and friends would be sad. 👌🏻
There is one picture on my desktop that gives me hope, that one day I will achieve my goal. ( That picture is a prototype of a robot that Im going to build to end humanity)
I have no meaning to life it just is. As for my motivation it's too not starve.
I got a kid. Sooo
I want to go HOME! I don’t have a girlfriend, wife, kids, or a family so I don’t have a home to go home to. I can’t take my own life because I don’t know if I’ll ever find those people for me but I’ll never know if I never try. So I pick myself up by the bootstraps because when the dust has clears I’m the one picking up the pieces.
To keep things short from my experiences I’m expected to do everything. Make the first move, initiate texts and sex every time, plan dates, cook and clean properly, dress nicely, and make enough income to keep two people afloat. It’s fucking exhausting because radical feminism has glazed over so many women’s eyes that they can’t even seen the truth if it smacked them going 80mph.
I have my own idealized version of romance and an idea of how I want my future to be. I know not every woman is going to want the same things I do but I’m willing to COMPROMISE. There are 8 billion people on this planet. I am not special or original we all do the same things just in different ways so there has to at least be 1 woman out there who agrees with me at least 50% of the time.
I’m a decently attractive dude and I’ve always been complimented on my smile but there isn’t anything worth smiling about anymore. So if I’m gonna be alone/ live for myself I’m gonna take my time and work a regular job. I refuse to work myself to the bone just for myself. Once I find the woman for me I’d gladly work the 12 hour shifts to make sure we stay afloat but none of it is worth it if she’s not there.
I entertain myself by reading, writing, watching YouTube/ movies/ shows, and I hang out with my 2 closest friends who I live with. However none of that fulfills me. Work will never fulfill me because it’s just an ends to a means. What will fulfill me is knowing there’s someone who’s going to appreciate the things that I do for them, who’s going to make the effort to communicate, who’s going to be waiting for me to come home. But no one is. But I still have to try because no one is going to try for me.
What keeps me going? The hope of one day having a home to go home to.
Life started off with me trying to make money. Then I got married and we were making money to buy a house. Then the grind started - we had children and those expenses kicked in but I love them and will move heaven and earth so the grind continued. The only thing is it wasn't a real grind it was the challenge to make it happen - get it done, move to the next item on the list. All the kids went to private school so it was costly but they grew up to be great adults. I didn't notice the grind because I had to them to do it for. Now I'm working towards the end of work. Another 5 years and I should be able to stop. As the end grows near, that poem from above, really hits home (even though it's about someone going blind).
Reflecting on what I wrote, if your life's a grind, find something to focus on that'll make it worth the effort.
What choice do I have? You keep going, grinding, and working until God calls you home. End of discussion.
Just my goal of having more money and live a better life that I dream
I just never felt like life's all that bad, get bad days but for the most part it's pretty good! Usually I get depressed when I have too much free time, keep yourself busy and you'll be good, from one goal to the next
Life is a wonderful adventure and im having a blast.
The doom and gloom of my pocket computer is just a distraction.
I encourage every dude to find their "third spot"
We all need a Home, we have to work, but we need a place to go to be us.
Theres no answer to what your 3rd spot is, only you know for me its a skatepark where I can unwind and be creative with my board and movements alone in my thoughts. For others its a fishing spot, hiking, the gym etc
It can be anywhere, but we all need it
I'm 41 and I've been severely depressed and suicidal a few times in my life. When I say "times", I mean months or years when I wanted to die or not exist.
I'm still here because I sought professional help, I wanted to stop suffering through life and I focused on the causes of my depression.
Every time there have been causes and if you understand what they are, you can work on treating them and improving your life.
Sometimes therapists have helped me find the causes, sometimes I've known the causes and felt unable to change them until I started having medication and therapy.
When I was depressed because my father died and I was left with my abusive mother, I worked on processing and expressing my feelings (I kept things bottled up) and saved until I could move out. Both changed my life dramatically.
When I was depressed because I hated my job and lack of a love life, I changed careers and worked on my confidence. Both changed my life dramatically.
When I was traumatised and heartbroken by an abusive ex, I treated the PTSD and worked on my boundaries, identifying red flags and my priorities for what I need in a partner. Again, they changed my life dramatically.
Seek support. Work on the causes. And do not listen to what depression tells you because it is not your friend and nearly all lives can be improved.
Because as bad as it is right now, after this miserable life, odds are that I will have it even worse in the next one. I’ll probably get eaten alive and wish I was barely scraping by in poverty with zero human connection over unimaginable pain. Odds are pretty good that consciousness continues in my opinion, and then odds are pretty good that I will have it absolutely horrible. So I guess drag this existence out as long as possible.
For now... just my kids, one day at a time until then, it is a struggle to find a hint of happiness anymore. Currently just think of things as a cloud, and just think the cloud will go away eventually, but it is a constant struggle to think of life that way, once it fails, not sure what would happen.
My two year old daughter. I've suffered with my mental health for years. When she was born it changed my life completely. My self destructive tendencies very quickly stopped and everything became about her.
I grew up with shitty parents and I won't let that happen to her.
I don’t feel like I know who I am yet. I feel like, once I figure that out, I’ll be happy. That and motorcycle riding.
Honestly I think a big one is completely dodging the bullet of trying to be "successful" and on a more personal one, not having children. Im nearly 30, I work 25 hours a week at a low level job, I play sport and am in an 8 year relationship. I have 3 days off a week and dont come home to chores/children. I can afford this because I live in a house with 5 others splitting the bills. If I wanna stay up til 4am watching movies/playing games I can, if I wanna run off for 3 days with the partner I can. I admit it makes life feel a little empty, I'm just jumping from entertainment to entertainment and hobby to hobby but I know from when I do need to work more (maybe co workers are sick or on vacation) that I just cannot survive mentally. After only 2 work days of a measly 6 hour shift I want to end it. I couldnt imagine putting in 5x 10 hour days a week. Honestly watching everybody ELSE be miserable seems to bring me more power. Seeing friends working stupid hours to pay off a silly 50k car impulse buy, seeing friends have 0 social life stuck at home for YEARS because of their children only to get divorced and not seeing them anyways. That makes me feel WAY better about myself haha.
In depth question, if the shit gets bad, fuck it and I will move on. I had one of those moments yesterday, my hopes were elevated and I was let down. So today I bury myself in my work and hobbies, drink beer or bourbon tonight, and move on.
I just don’t have the quit in me, seems like it’d be easier some days but could never actually do it.
My wife, my kids, my extended family, my pets, my garden, even all the wildlife that visits my yard - I've got it pretty great.
Absolute, unbridled, and unabashed pig-headedness. You can't get rid of me that easily, World!
The horrors persist, but so do I.
My mother.
Knowing my parents would be devastated if I killed myself. Also I don't trust any method of suicide to be quick, painless, and a guaranteed death. Also I don't want to traumatize somebody else by making me clean up my body or spend resources trying to find me/my body.
I love my wife, kids, brothers, friends, myself, in general my life. There’s nothing about my life I hate. My job is fine. I’ve never had a career where I’ve really loved what I do. I do it because over time it’s what I’ve fallen into and my skills make me good at it. It’s the worst thing about my life probably but still not that bad. Things have definitely been worse over the years. You stay focused and persevere.
Wow! The question alone is so 😔 sad in itself. Wife here. I've watched my husband for years, bust his ass, take shit from others that ate at his gut. Get rite back up when knocked down, just to start again! Work so hard to be a good father, husband and provider each and every day, constantly fighting against the Bullshit that life and others shoved in his path. Dealt with both my demons as well as his own. And I also watched as it all changed him, took from him, from us. Disappointed in himself, in me, the children. Filling him with resentment, discust, rage! All he wanted was to have a decent life, stay above the water, come home to a clean house and a family that loved him , appreciated and respected him. But life has a way of beating you down bit by bit. Fills you with such sadness and disappointment that you start seeing only fault and negativity around you, because now you've been blinded and consumed by it all that you forget. You forget and you no longer see what you do have, because it's no longer enough. Yes I have watched what life's Bullshit did to my husband, what it put him through. And it destroyed me, I blamed so much on myself, never feeling good enough, strong or worthy enough. But then I realized the truth. Each and every day I stood proudly at his side, I SAW IN HIM so much more then he saw in himself, I was so proud so grateful so blessed to have him, belong to him. Life just takes so much, because we allow ourselves to feel that way, we give in, we loose our way and yes we fuck up too! But when you look, truly look around you, you have so very much more, you just let the Bullshit blind your vision. So I tell my husband (all the time) how proud and, grateful I am to be at his side. Just waiting and hoping that he to sees. He has a wife that may not be perfect, and a little off her rocker, lol But shed move mountains for him, and kids that may not be the most well balanced, again lol but they love and respect him, a roof over our heads, food on our table, a sex life that most men would kill for, and given a chance that tomorrow will be a better day each time he opens his eyes. I say fuck the Bullshit that life shoves down your throat! Don't give in, don't let go and enjoy, take pleasure in all that it can't take from you!
After my partner died, I struggled with redefining myself, even as a person. I fell into mens work, and it really saved me from myself, but also allowed me to reacquaint myself with who I actually am. I'd been interested in mens work since reading Manhood (Stephen Biddulf) back in the nineties. It was a fledgling movement back then, but has since blossomed into a larger community. I have roughly five years under my belt, with help from both the Mankind Project and Mens WellBeing (in Brisbane). I've not only allowed myself to accept that who I am is okay, but also that I can contribute and give back to men. I can only express myself from my own point of view, but I encourage you to search for more answers, meaning in the community. You don't have to voyage on your own. I am always happy to discuss further with other men. AVOID: men who want to blame women for all of their problems.
Mom and childhood friend still around. That’s about it.
I love reading and music
Life. It's beautiful. Friends. They're great. Family. I love them.
I have kids now. It makes it harder to keep things going, but it's a responsibility.
Because even if life is tough, for me it's been generous enough for me to be thankful for a chance to try again and to remember that I have it so much better than so many others, even people that has been close to me in the past and are either gone or getting-by because of even less strands than I could ever imagine.
Because the alternative is not really better, not for me as I am standing, I have no right to feel that way from where I am standing and I don't want to feel that way ever.
Because life has thrown many curve balls at just the right timing that it just feels like if I was in a freaking movie a lot of the times.. And honestly, sometimes those make for nice stories to tell other people.
Finally, I couldn't do that to my family, they know that I am not doing that bad and they would support me if it was ever necessary to get to those extremes, but right now, it's all been bearable, even if difficult, but I have been able to, regardless of everything (because like I said, I know it's not as awful as it can be and ha been for others) so I can try again once more and keep going.
I'm here because I love my life and my family. I'm happy with things. "What keeps me going?" More like "what can stop me?"
I once was in a dark place, but I realised 2 things that helped me get out of it. First, the world is all about smoke and mirrors. Not just in a bad way but there is so much you can't know, because other people are ashamed to tell someone how they fucked up or how stupid they felt or how they regret any dessision. Keep in mind, when you compare youself to others, you as a outsider have the shiny "outsider-view" into their lifes, you don't see how they are realy doing. Secondly, in Nature it is not about having a perfect life. You get one ride in your meatsack, thats it. And this ride has no predetermined goal, it just ends always with you death. The Milestones are set by yourself and can be changed. You are a speck of dust in history as unimportant as it can be. And this is important, because you don't owe anything to this life, but you have to life with the consequences of your and everybody elses actions. You can do so much in this life and if you want out, well then you can always stop playing, but remember no restarts allowed and who knows what awaits you next?
I'm just too curious of a cat. I mean come on brother I wanna see how this crazy shit ends.
Keeps me going
I've just kept going because I am a stupid, weak coward and I haven't yet had the strength to follow through with the suicidal urges I have had for the last twenty years, although we're damn close now and I hope I don't see the first of June. I have a little while longer to get through for someone else's convenience and because I have to wait for things to line up, then we'll see what happens.
It's not that bad. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. Maybe tomorrow brings me something cool.
I want to see what happens next
Well first off I’m not really suffering or anything. And second is hope
Personal ambition, man.
I'm always working at something.
Right now, I'm reading this book on connection. I was practically a loner for many years in school and my social skills have always bothered me. So that's my latest practice.
I'm also into carpentry projects right now. Just finished building an axe-throwing board and gonna build some shelving for my yard shed.
If I'm not actively pursuing a goal, I get depressed.
Give me a compelling goal and I can get through anything.
Hate. It keeps me warm.
There’s people who may need my help and lending aid is what i live for
I’ve promised several people I’d never end it. Not that I would even if I didn’t promise them. Even when life sucks there are too many things I enjoy and too many things I want to do. I can’t give up.
"The vast majority of men lead lives of quiet desperation". When I first heard this as a teenager I knew EXACTLY what it meant
Fear for the most part. I’m afraid I’ll do it right before everything was about to turn around
Too much of a wuss
My fear of death is bigger than my fear of living.
I have people to care about
Life. Simply life keeps me going. Every bird I see, every time I enjoy a pint, every time I meet someone new, every hard day pales into insignificance.
I'm still tryna find my reason. I been numb since i was a teenager and though I'm somewhat successful, the numb feeling never went away. It be like that sometimes.
Mom rely on me, after she passes ill pro do it.
My wife and parents. Once they go I go.
Elden Ring DLC hasn't dropped yet.
My story, those around mes’ roles, and how it all ends! -My wife and kids. -the very real fact that I am loved -I am depended on -orgasms -friendships (good conversation, deep, and laughter) -the very real fact that I can choose to start doing pretty much ANYTHING I want…(fishing, camping, hitting the road and throwing yourself to the wolves!) -other hobbies -knowing that our time here is already short enough! -I listed my kids quickly but all that comes with that!!! Whew. -I happen to love the shit out of my wife and still watch her sleep sometimes and think of how lucky I am. Even tho she’s a pain in my ass most days. -when I retire I have lots of new things I’d like to start doing. Also things I used to do. -collecting sportscards -fishing -back tickles -hot showers
I'm too stubborn to punch my own ticket.
I keep going because I've died once already and it's pretty fucking boring. Seriously, life, even with the shitty bits, is better than oblivion, and now I'm heading for permanent oblivion so life is even more important to enjoy.
Life is what you make it and your attitude with living it. If you think it's shit, then it's always going to be shit. I've been a virgin curmudgeon all my life, young or old, bitching about this or that, some things that are important to bitch about (and try to change), others that are just me bitching for the sake of bitching, but I still do anything possible to enjoy life and enjoy the time that I have left. A part of that is the BIG family that I have, down to my great grandson. If I didn't have them, and we weren't close and enjoy time together, then I can't say that I'd enjoy life as much as I do. It's not something I can guess at, hell, I might have more fun without a family... You never know. But, no matter what, you HAVE to have fun in life, or it will wear you the fuck out in short order. What fun you have is entirely up to you.
Thing is, life is a bitch. It's always been a bitch and always will be a bitch. The only thing that changes over time is how it's a bitch. We don't have The Black Death now, so that makes it not as much of a bitch, but we are mostly wage slaves, so that is the 21st century bitch. However, I think we have more time on our hands to have our little existential dread, whereas people a hundred or more years ago, back to the beginnings of humans, didn't have the luxury of having time for it.
You know, I've seen a grown man, blowing large bubbles in the park, and then a downpour came and he didn't even try to move. A few minutes later the rain stopped, and he went right back to blowing his big bubbles (100% a true story, at a park in Memphis, TN, across from the museum that my partner and I had just left. We watched him the whole time). I think that's the attitude that everyone should have, myself included. Have fun, and when life is being a bitch, let it... Then go right back to having fun after it passes. And he was having free fun, and enjoying the fuck out of it, rain or not. I'd have been rubbing for cover, cussing the fucking way, letting my fun go for anger that the storm was just to fuck my day up. But, that was a few years ago, before I started dying, and I've learned to just let the shit go, a little rain is nothing in the scheme of life. You've got to look forward to the future as a change for fun, not a certainty of being bitch slapped by life, here and there. Attitude is everything in life, you just need to adjust yours a bit, as I did.
Momentum, mostly.
My responsibilities, and kids. I gotta stick around and grind through to make sure they will be taken care of when I'm gone.
I always picture myself on how should I be and that helps a lot. I too experience the things you've said and that makes me too lazy, depressed and won't let me lift a finger but that's also a part of the cycle i guess the more I go like this, the aggressive i come back and push myself really really harder and then again repeat the cycle. That's how I barely live.
I'm fond of saying Momentum is the most powerful force in the universe.
More serious answer - Learn to enjoy the small moments and experiences, not things. If you feel like everything is a chore, then it's going to be a chore. Half of this is mindset, make what you "need" to do fun in some way (e.g. I hate mowing the lawn, I listen to music/podcasts I like while I'm doing it, now I look forward to mowing the lawn).
If your life is so shitty you feel like you're just surviving from one routine to the next, the only person who's going to change that is you. Make the hard decisions to make the changes you need to make to improve it. One small step repeated over and over again is all it takes to make things better. Future self is counting on past self to help it out. Also, go read/listen to the book Atomic Habits.
I've adopted a growth/stoic's mindset about life. I don't get too high and I don't get too low. Roll with the punches, try your hardest, eventually it will work out as long as you don't leave anything on the table. It may not be what you dreamt, but it will be good. If you "won" today, great, don't rest on your laurels and overcelebrate. If you "lost" today, great, learn from it, do better next time. The only thing that's really permanent in life is death. Bad shit is going to happen, don't rely on luck to sort you out. Don't be soft. Don't do this self-care bullshit that involves $7 lattes. Selfcare is getting enough sleep, eating right, and moving your body. The marketing BS about selfcare being about some self-indulgent consumerism is nonsense.
And yes, my kids are a huge motivator for me in life. They are a pain in the ass many days, but I'm so glad I had them. They are counting on me to have my shit together. I need to be strong for them because their mom (my ex) is not.
My wife keeps me here. Without her its a nitrogen knees-up for me.
Too big off a pussy to do it.
dad would be sad.
Pretty much the only 2 reasons.
My kids. They need me and I would never abandon them. Otherwise I’d be out of this shit show I call life.
Mom would be sad
I hate beer.
Reading all the downtrodden Reddit comments, makes my life feel so much better!
An absolutely fundamental degree of spite.
im not in pain or suffering too much, im getting buy half arsing my job. so il hang around, see what happens, sometimes i neat thing happens, or a cool game or movie comes out.
im an Atheist, so dead is dead as far as im concerned, might as well stick around just to see. but i have no motivation to do better, i tried for a long time, put the hard work in at school then at my jobs, didnt really get anywhere other than extra work. hard work gets you nowhere in most jobs so fuck it.
but as soon as i get some sort of painful terminal diagnosis, paralysed above the waist or find out im going to fail mentally? im out.
I'm actually having a pretty good time now that im in my 30s. Career is going well, getting to have lots of cool experiences, making good money, and im in pretty good shape; hitting PRs in the gym. No wife, no kids, so I have lots of personal time for hobbies and interests. So to answer your question I guess the combination of my rewarding career and having a lack of obligations to family/spouse gives me enough to look forward to/work on and enough for myself to relax and enjoy.
Stoicism but you already answered it - hobbies and goals
I have shit to do a
I'm going to be a dad this fall. Family building has been my motivation; buying a house, making career moves. All of it to build a stable environment to raise kids in.
GTA 6, Slay the Spire 2 and Elden Ring DLC
I guess curiousity? There has been some really cool things I've experienced since I was born and I guess I'm just waiting to see what's next?
Because the other option is to not keep going and that isn't particularly appealing either.
Comedy. Existing is funny and I'm all for it. I've had multiple reasons to end it all but I'll miss the punch line. I just want to have a little laugh and all, it's funny thinking about how like... we care so much for some deep things, hurt so badly, feel so great about super insignificant stuff.. we make these little unimportant posts on Reddit for absolutely nothing. One day our species will be entirely wiped, we will be reduced to whatever is below nothingness. We won't even be memories.. but if we live long enough we can laugh a bit more at how everything kind of looks like and is. I mean, hell, why not just keep spectating this all? Society is losing its shit, individually we work ao hard just to end up dead anyway. Some people place all their life value over something so unimportant but they press on so hard living just to be the most important piss stains in the most unimportant toilet seats. I've been homeless and jobless simultaneously while feeding my kid and stuff, attempted to end it all several times but why even bother? Even the act of ending it sucks since we can no longer fk around once dead. Life at least gives you some giggles and you get to enjoy sushi and pizza and stuff which ironically you only enjoy by uncontrollable factors in your life that forces you to enjoy it all. Knowing how little control we have but how much in control we believe we have is also funny as hell and worthy of observation.
Started jiujitsu which gives me something to look forward to each day as well as some positive social interaction. The main thing being that self deleting would absolutely crush my parents, don't think my mom would ever recover from it.
I don't really feel qualified to answer because people have it way worse than I do, but maybe my answer gives you something useful.
For motivation music is fantastic, "I'm still standing" by Elton John is a banger for hard times. I haven't come really far in life, but through shitty times the reward at the end is what keeps me going. If you like motivational quotes and you're competitive, the one I like goes: "Don't ask "Why me?", say "Try me."". Find a hobby or something you enjoy doing, that you're able to do in your routine. I'm a gamer and introverted, so tough days are often motivated by being by myself an hour before I go to bed or so and playing games. I don't need to make plans with anyone or coordinate it, just push through the responsibilities and block the outside world out in the evening.
Family, hobbies, being a pussy...
My mom and sister. I don't want to hurt them any more than life has already.
I love my family, enjoy my job, and could spend a millennium just learning new things, reading books both new and old, gathering degrees, and experiencing art made by people from Mahler to Miyamoto, from Cassatt to the funk-pop band Cameo.
Happiness is having twenty bucks and standing in a neighborhood with a used book store and a nice pub with great happy hour deals.
I get depressed when I try to live life on anyone’s terms but my own.
American life will really have you believing that living life is all about your corporate success or career aspirations. To me, these things get in the way of truly living, and not living makes me sad.
I try to travel and educate myself on things as much as I can. Although travel is a way to see the world, education adds another way to stain the lens with which we view it through, and is just as much of an adventure all it’s own.
I enjoy routine and obligation, that’s how I reach my goals
I was dead for billions of years.
I will be dead for billions of years more.
If im here for 25 years or 100 years, what difference does it really make?
Reason for living: Why the fuck not?
Life is precious. I don't care if i lose everything i've worked for - i'll work again and get more things i'm proud of.
The good far outweighs the bad. One day I’ll inherit more money than I’ve ever seen in my life plus 4 properties. My life is going to get way better than it is now
What the fuck else am I here for if not to push on and find peace someday.
I personally believe the point in life isn't the pursuit of happiness. I think that is a trap. I find a better strategy is to strive to be content. I think it's the pursuit of purpose. No one can tell you what that is for you. YOU HAVE TO DO THAT. BUT THAT IS THE FUCKING POINT. That's why were are here!
I find my own contentment in my personal honor like keeping my commitments. My purpose is the ones I love, and if you don't have anyone to love for God's sake find someone. Doesn't have to be romantic, it can be a stay dog. But don't be afraid to love.
To me that is what it is to be a man. It's enough. Frankly it's a privilege.
It took years for me to mature enough to understand that. Once I did, life was OK. Hang in there young men. Nothing is wrong with you. Life is hard but that is OK.
My Faith in Christ and my Family. I love my life.
i didn’t know the default setting was suicide 😭
Death is going to happen. It’s a certainty.
What isn’t a certainty is how it’ll all play out. Despite my general misery, I still would like to see how it all plays out.
Sometimes it can be annoying to realise that life’s too short anyway.
I wouldn't call him my mentor but he was a dude who had an opinion I thought highly of. He once asked me, "You wouldn't want anybody else to raise your kids, would you?" And the truth is I don't. For each day that goes on I earnestly want to see how they turn out, if there's any meaningful thing I managed to impart to them. I forget what language it is but if "se muerte" means to know death, I wish to know life. How it all plays out. If I check out early I won't know that this is all there is, I'll only know what I've had.
At this point, helping other dudes, motorcycles, and the experience of consciousness is interesting enough I’m choosing to stick around. I was close to ending it in 2020 and have been close more than once since. Still, each day I get a little more comfortable and settled into the madness that is modern American society and culture. I’ve found becoming more of an observer than a participant has helped.
Spite.
For me, it’s meaningful work where I feel fairly compensated. I have lots of personal space and time for myself. I have no children, but my six-year-old niece lights up my life . Have very diverse interests from psychotherapy to hiking national parks to loving professional wrestling and to being kind of obsessed about self improvement. Some unhealthy things that keep me going are THC edible and vaping. Lust and fantasies of future women primarily sexual. I have a deep down faith in a higher power or source energy. I know if I were to pass right now I would be OK with it. I’ve had many good experiences, but right now I am lonely and single. I think that is at the core of what we make me feel better is a loving healthy relationship.
My mom and my 3 closest friends. Other than my mom, we all kind of seem to be hanging on for one thing or the other, and I don't want to be the reason they all go out.
Also, I want one last really sad "I told you so" to all the fuckers not taking climate change seriously
Because i wanna see what happens next, how crazy things will get. I also want to do alot of stuff. I want to buy a nice house, that fast sports car, land to go shoot guns on and hunt on. I want to travel. Things seems shitty right now, especially politically, but i see everyone waking up to the bullshit thats happening to them and i have hope we are on a course to correcting it back to normal.
My daughter. She'll be 8 in just over a month, and I've found my purpose in her. I want to see that she gets everything she needs to be the best person she can be.
the hedonist aspect of life. Find joy in small things.
Seeing my bank balance go up every payday gives enough of the happy chemical to keep me going until the next one
Because the fire inside me burns brighter than the fire around me.
Also because my dog would be sad if I wasn't around.
there still are lots of stuff i have to try
"I tell myself I bear witness. But the real answer is that it's obviously my programming. And I lack the constitution for suicide."
Nah, I got a 19yo niece I help with. I keep going for her. I got no wife or kids, so she's it.
SPITE.
Love and family. Being a husband and a father is more important to me than anything else. And it brings me so much joy. The modern age of consumerism and hedonism is disgusting and soul destroying. To be with my family laughing together is the greatest feeling in the world.
my family. I just keep going for them.
Kids. That is the ONLY reason I am still here.
Waiting for elder scrolls 6 to drop
Video games, porn, and one piece basically.
Death is inevitable and if I live long enough surely something good will happen eventually.
I just don't want to hurt the people that love me... that's literally it.
Waiting for wicked part 2
Fear. If you could end it easily without the possibility of being a brain dead vegetable then I would have done it a long time ago.
In saying that, I’ve found some places in Sweden that you can pay for, and I’m considering it. You don’t have to have an illness either.
I have a big fear of if I killed myself today , what if tomorrow was the day everything got better and I missed out .
Why would I not keep going? The end isn't an answer or solution to anything, it's just the end. I have no interest in ending it now after I've made it though all the shit I already have.
The end will come for us all eventually anyway so why bother trying to rush it?
My need to prove to myself I’ve changed and I’m not the fucc-up I was “destined” to be is what keeps me going, mainly. I have to witness firsthand me doing all the things the positives in my life said I could. That’s what drives me to keep trying when the leap over that edge looks easier than waking up another day to “exist”
I enjoy spending my time. Idk what else to do.
Knowing that I am better today than I was yesterday, and seeing the progress that has taken place over time.
These days, my fiancée keeps me going, she's wonderfully supportive, encourages me to get involved in things that make me happy, and just wants to see me grow into a better and healthier person.
Prior to her? Spite, I stayed alive out of spite. Then I met her, and realized there were more and better reasons.
I have a woman I plan on marrying, two dogs to bring into the household and give the best life possible and a general plan for the near future. I just need some more pieces to fall into place and I’m set.
Stuck in Cycle or routine and obligation: "Yah, that's everybody in the world, unless you're retired or rich with freedom of financial responsibility"
What Keeps you going?: "I have kids, wife, and a job i know pays for everything i want in life, including a pension i can cash out with in a few years. I also enjoy having hobbies with my kids, from sports, to travel, trying new things in a country i didn't grow up in"
I genuinely enjoy the idea of doing things, or just staying in on a rainy day watching shows and cuddling my kids, or playing games with them (right now i'm literally working on making new characters for my daughters Guess Who boards and cards (Princesses/Princes/Villains with my spare time at work, i'm looking forward to seeing her face when i have it finished and ask her to play a game with me, with it all changed)
My two sons. If I'm not going to solve cancer or walk on the moon, my life's purpose is to care for children who will.
Mom would be sad
In my 50s. Only met my wife in my 40s. Before that?
I gave up on dating seriously because I couldn’t find someone who I was compatible with. It was pretty hard to find what I wanted and what type of person I knew I’d be happy with until I die.
What kept me going was the thrill of business. It was like sport for me. My job function has always surrounded business development and sales and that rush the sale, or the winning a customer from a competitor, or opening a new market or launching a product etc was fun.
Now? My kids and wife keep me energetic and focused. Even the shit days, stuck in traffic, realizing I don’t really get to do what I want ever, and the loads of dollars going to for family shit and not the cool shit I want, realization I have to also take care of of my aging parents and they will die etc etc… my kids and my wife keep me going. One smile or laugh from them makes my day.
If I lost my family in some tragic event, I’d probably find a way to off myself .
It'd devastate my sisters and my partner if I stopped.
YOLO, although adulthood is mostly about struggling and suffering, you only get to experience it once.
Oh and my cats, what would they do if I'm gone? Gonna get home safely for them every day.
Every day, everything changes for better or worse
I enjoy seeing that change and being part of it
Also, since covid, I feel like I've been just on auto-pilot
We'll be gone eventually, so might as well stay in the journey
It'll end at some point, but I ain't gonna end it. I have people in my life that I love and who love me, who would be devastated if I did. Shit ain't perfect, but we can always make it better. You might not be able to fix every problem, but you can fix some problems. Stuff can absolutely get extremely monotonous at times, but in some ways it's on us to break the monotony in our own lives. At least breaking the monotony yourself gives you some measure of control over how it gets broken.
But if someone's finding themself frequently feeling like they're stuck in a routine of obligation without joy or purpose, maybe therapy can help. Therapy can help identify what precisely the sticking points are, and how a person can free themselves from that feeling without harm.
I have too many responsibilities. Too many people depend on my existence.
I feel like I am running downhill, going so fast I can't stop, but knowing the eventual pavement crash is coming
I go indoor climbing once a week. I lift another 1-2 days a week. I try to fit another social activity in once a week like yoga. Tried acro yoga for a bit, but not sure if it's for me. Might try dance lessons and improv next along with climbing and lifting. I'm planning on going scuba diving in a couple of months. Also concerts, friends, games etc.
I’m a father. Gotta do best for my kid. Also my wife would prob leave if I let myself play video games all day and lose my job and stuff.
Contributing to a better world by being a kind and understanding teacher, learning about the great opportunities that science will give and has already given humanity. I love astronomy/antropology/astrophysics and dreaming about a future that will take our species among the stars.
I decided to enter my villain era…to spread chaos.
The urge to prove my naysayers, which sometimes includes myself, wrong.
BJJ - has always been the one constant in my life - just got my black belt today - my career and my mindset to always keeps improving - my niche interests - started writing a book - falling in love.
Life is amazing right now I know it wont always be like this so I just wanna keep working harder to keep it like this you know
Because I don't want dying to hurt and guns ain't cheap.
I can always end it if shit gets too bad. So why not continue?