AskMen

GOOD DAY MY GLORIOUS DIPSHITS!

So here we are, nearly halfway through the near, and we still can't figure out how to use Reddit or AskMen. THE LAST STICKY has been added to the FAQ but its not like you degenerates actually read a goddamned thing.

Joking aside for a moment

AskMen is a place to ask questions that will open a conversation with men or to gain a male perspective on things.

This is not a sex sub.
This is not an anti-woman sub.
This is not a dating sub.
This is not a PUA tips sub.
This is not a MGTOW sub.
This is not an Incel positive sub.

Men are not a monolith. Do not ask questions that treat all men as a singular being.
Do not post questions that assume all men think a single way, and you want to know why. You're already on the wrong path.
Your boyfriend/husband/SO is an individual not part of collective male mind. If you want to know why they did something - ASK THEM, NOT US.
You want to buy your boyfriend/husband/SO a gift, and don't know what to get them, HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH THEM.

You didn't have a dad growing up and want to ask a question - we got dads here.
You didn't or don't have many male friends and don't understand a reference - we got dudes here.
You never learned how to do a thing that "every dude" seems to know how to do, and want it explained - we got those guys here too.

I am saying all this, because lately there has been a swarm of really anti-female shit being said around here, people feeding into it, and then other (usually either anti-male or pro-fem) subs using it to buzz around and incite fights, flaming and other bullshit. The bots catch a lot, but the mod inbox the last two weeks has been full to the brim.

This is a safe space. Liberal, Conservative, Gay, Straight, Bi, Trans, Cis, Married, Single, Poly, Child-free, parenting, POC, White, Religious, Atheist, whatever...thats all part of the male experience, so it's all valued and all valid.

WE THE MODERATION TEAM ARE ASKING - when you see hateful shit, when you see people behaving badly, when you see people being wrong - fucking report it. if it's reported, report it again - three reports takes it down. Or message us with a link - and title it "This Fucking Person"

We will act, but we have to know about it. We need your help to keep this place a good place to be. It's a big sub, and we mods are few.

We may hate you dumbfucks, but we love you as well.

EDIT - HOLY SHIT, LITERALLY - What the actual fuck with girls and all the fucking questions about what we do with our junk when we poop? is this another TikTok thing?

I noticed this too on my self. I'm 30+ and my gf always wants to go out and go to a coffee shop or do some activities, but for me I prefer staying at the house. My dad also does this when my mom is going to some family events and activities, my dad always stays at home instead.

Some dads I use to know also does not go out anymore. They go out once or twice and with their like friends going to other houses to drink.

I’m just curious too see the amount of people NOT on Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, TikTok etc

I recently deleted Facebook, instagram and snap but I’ve never really had tik tok so that hasn’t been an issue. But I’m struggling to not feel so alone! That probably sounds dumb but idk it’s actually hard 🤣 I live on property/acreage with a beautiful creek running through and heaps of forest, have been spending all my time there really with my doggies. But yeah just want to know really if anyone is in the same boat with deleting everything and what you do instead of scrolling away hahaha

serious answers only please!

For example, for me, it’s:

1) A good smelling cologne

2) My dog wagging his tail when I get home

3) Seeing instant cop karma

Adding to this post because it's been such an important lesson for me lately:

Don't force things.

Literally. When you're first staring to court a girl, don't spend hours on end chasing her. Don't spend all your time thinking about her, fantasizing about having a relationship - simply because she looks like a catch. Because chances are, somewhere down the road, you'll realise you've come to be attracted to the IDEA of this person you've conjured up in your head as compared to how the person actually is.

My add-on advice: know what you want from a relationship, and NEVER settle for anything less than that. Heck, don't even settle, if that's what you're all about. Learn to start leading a life without the prospect of a relationship, and stop letting a girl's looks get the best of you.

This question is addressed towards men who actually have no one in their lives. Not the ones who got some here and there but feel like they’re not deeply connected with.

Those who seriously have no one to call a friend, family, partner etc… How do you manage to continue living?

In my early 20s I used to like this girl a lot, I would sometimes take her out for dinner and movies. I'm not a simp by any means, I saw this as me getting experience since at that age I was pretty socially inept. Eventually I ended up telling her I liked her and she rejected me, and then some time later even made jokes in front of me about how I was unattractive, which was a low blow considering we were friends then. Well, time went on and now we're both in our late 20s and now she's desperately trying to get back into my life to the point where sometimes she calls my mother to ask about me. I just ignore it because it's pointless to put too much thought into it, but then I start to think about the whole situation and realize how odd it is. She'd would always say how she wasn't looking to get in a relationship but then would date a different guy every couple of months. Every time I think about it I actually get kind of upset. Friends of mine tell me that I should give her a chance and mess around until I find something better, but I have too much pride. Anyone else being in a similar situation?

What are some quotes you guys have read that have you moments of holy shit I wish I read this a decade ago. I’ll go first and give a few of my favorites as of late:

It’s not about feeling better or not feeling bad, it’s about being better at feeling bad.

You never know the value of the moment until it becomes a memory.

Whatever you resist will always persist

Guys, what is the one thing that keeps you from taking the next step in a relationship, or bailing after [seriously] talking about marriage?

I'll start.

How do ghosts stay in shape? They exorcise. Dad laughs

Im 27 M. Moved from western canada to toronto last year and man ive become a celibate (not by choice). My dating life was very successful before moving here (large city = more competition i guess)

I just wanna break my dry streak and feel a human touch seems like seeing an escort might be my only option but im very nervous and anxious to see one ive never been with one before.

What was your experience ?

28m here, I've tried tons of things to get into dating since my last relationship. Its been an uphill battle where I would say I've had 1 actual date in the last year. Its rough out there. I'll list what I've done just to paint a clear picture.

Things I do by myself: workout 5 times a week, Rollerblade, read books (sometimes at a bar), video games, board games, glove, TV and anime, cook, hangout with my cat, raves/clubs/festivals, and going out with friends.

Things I've done to date: online dating (haven't done it in 6 months, terrible for my mental health), tried in the gym, at a ren faire, in public by the beach, grocery store, bars, clubs/raves, and speed dating.

As a guy in my late 20s, I've found it incredibly difficult to meet anyone. Any girls I've talked to are all talking to multiple people or got serious with someone other than me. I also don't think I am appearing desperate either, I'm just myself and if I think a girl is cute and I have something to say then I'll say it and walk away. I won't always ask for a number because I understand that guy's harass girls a lot and they receive a lot of unwanted attention. I'm just at a loss for what to do.

What have you done to meet people? What things can I do that I haven't done yet? I've begun losing hope that I'll ever meet someone and I also don't just want to hop into a relationship with the first girl that shows any interest. I want it to be an actually good fit.

Hey guys, I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on the unique challenges that come with being a man, and I’m curious about your experiences. What’s the hardest thing about being a man that you wish more people understood? What’s something you find particularly challenging about being a man that you feel isn’t talked about enough?

This quote had an immense impact on me and i considered it true. However, this impact has been lessened by my recent thoughts.

What if the purpose of life is to have the pleasure, then that man will never be distracted. I have shared these thoughts with my colleagues and they deny it by saying having pleasure can't be the purpose of life. But i ask why it can't be ??

Would appreciate your thoughts on this.

Have you ever felt like you let someone you thought was 'the one' get away, only to find someone better later on?

I'd love to hear your experiences and thoughts on this, especially from those over 30. Any regrets or lessons learned?

(I know there is no 'the one' but just someone that's hyper-compatible, it's just easier using this term)

Looking for some hope that there's great people out there.

Hello to the Men of AskMen,

I wanted to ask a question as a woman who has also struggled with her own mental health since the last 14 years, How can I be a better supporter and listener for the Men around me, i.e, my partner and my brother?

I acknowledge that Men and Women function and think very differently at the base level and I don't think I have been an easy person to deal with.

Both my partner and brother talk very less. Specially my partner. I realise he has his own set of problems and battles, so how can I create safe space for him to open up more? Please also share what would have helped you guys when you were battling your inner demons?

Deep one here, but I’m curious to see the responses?

I’m curious if you were mainly taught it from an external focus or internal and if are you not sure on the difference between those two then I have my answer

Are you a winter runner who likes rugging up? A summer runner who loves the feeling of the sun on their back? Or a fall runner when PBs get set? And what are your favourite outfits to go alongside these conditions?

When do you hug them? Why or why not?

What’s the next move? How are you planning the date? What will you do?