AITA for evicting my brother and his family from the house I have inherited so my daughter can live there?

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

I might be an asshole for evicting my brother and his family from the house I have inherited so my daughter can live there

Help keep the sub engaging!

Do upvote interesting posts!

Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ

Follow the link above to learn more

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.

NTA. He's lived there for roughly 14-15 years paying substantially below market rent prices, which should have allowed him to save a considerable sum to put towards a home of his own. He clearly chose not to, as he had to move in with your parents. His life choices are not your problem.

Regarding the state of the home, did you not visit him over the years and notice the deterioration? Or is there 'revenge' damage caused shortly before they moved?

NTA

But I don't know why you're raising the issue of repairs when you evicted him. That sibling relationship is clearly fractured and I don't know what you're expecting to get from any conversation.

So, Adam has known he had to move since your daughter was three and now she's seventeen-- so that's a math problem. Math tells us that Adam has known for 14 years that he would have to move out of YOUR house. In what loonytunes world is that not enough notice?

Curious, was Adam just lazy and let the house fall into disrepair OR did he trash the house intentionally because you evicted him?

You're NTA. 

they had just over a year to find something suitable). 

No, he had 15 years to make a plan. He failed to do so. I hope you sue him for the damage. 

NTA. Your brother moving out was a condition from the start - he knew this was coming and had over a decade to prepare for this. Just speculation, but I'm thinking he thought you either wouldn't actually kick him out and wasn't expecting you to not be bluffing.

Don't take what he said seriously - he is just angry because he is now living with the consequences of his inaction. You did not get the house by cheating, you got it through an act of compassion. Your daughter isn't spoiled for getting the house you own, he was spoiled for the past 15 years by paying a below-market rent and now has to enter the real world. And your parents are only on his side because they have to put up with his complaining and want to push him back on you. Besides, he broke your deal by not taking care of the house like he agreed to in your initial agreement.

NTA - The dude had 15 years to figure this out. The only one acting spoiled is the brother who despoiled your house and got to live under market for 15 years....

NTA. Of course parents are on his side. They don’t want him living in their house.  They can whine and moan all they want. You had a legal agreement. You went through proper channels. He chose to ignore it all. Too bad.  Hope your daughter enjoys the house! 

He had 15 years’ notice, and a reminder a year in advance.

He took advantage of you and left a mess for you to deal with. I’m so sorry.

You could take him to court over the state of disrepair in which he left the house. But, as a landlord, you probably should have been doing regular inspections and raising this issue along the way.

NTA

NTA

You gave him many warnings and he lived in that house since caroline was 3 so he knew what was happening and chose to ignore it. He got himself into that situation and needs to stop acting entitled and actually listen.

NTA

For fuck's sake, how much notice does the guy need? He had a fucking year.

NTA. Your brother is angry bc he's going to have to function like an adult and actually pay full price. Your parents want you to continue to shoulder the burden. 15 years of reduced rent is plenty of contribution.

The main issue with eviction process AITAs is always the particulars of legality and how you can't expect it to go quickly. In a refreshing turn of events, you're way ahead of us on that! Adam's had 15 years of warning, then a year of warning, then had to appear in court, and he responded by having a meltdown. He's hilariously lucky he's related to you because an independent entity might have chased him for damages. You're unlucky you're related to him because it means he gets to complain via your connections. Everything else is just him being salty, especially since the notice comment is provably false (see fifteen year warning above); even if you wanted to buy into it, he spent all his theoretical high ground trashing the place.

NTA, and maybe show your parents the cleaning bill (I don't recommend demanding a dime from anybody, though) so they can decide whether they want to see reality or put their relationships at risk defending him.

NTA. Sounds like you've been subsidizing the entire family for more than a decade, and they didn't do as promised and take care of your house. Now they want to act sore that it's yours in the first place? SMH. Some people are just ridiculously entitled.

NTA - you gave him the expectations up front, charged him leas rent than he'd get elsewhere, gave him ample notice you needed the property back, and he still chose to act like it didn't matter. Good for you for having legal documents ready to protect yourself. i hope the damages aren't too bad

A lawyer will probably tell you this too, but between him being broke and having lived there for 15 years, you're going to have a hard time getting anything out of him for the condition of the house.

A rental property is subject to normal wear and tear; something that might be viewed as "horrible condition" by you might be viewed as "normal wear and tear" by someone else (including a judge).

NTA. 15 years notice is plenty.

NTA. You were clear about the plan. He has had plenty of time to save and make alternative arrangements. It’s your house. It is needed for your daughter.

NTA. You had a legal agreement, so not only doesn’t he have a leg to stand on, you have every right to sue him for the damages.

Really tough one, I think both NTA and YTA.

You did him a mad solid and you made it clear you need the place by a certain time so really he had a decade and a half notice. That’s well more than enough time to be putting money aside for next lease or even straight up buying a place. So him ignoring the notice to vacate etc lands him smack bang TA territory.

But all the follow up stuff about damage really seems to be kicking your brother when he’s down. I can’t see the damage so can’t judge but he was there for years and had two kids - shit happens sometimes. And you stated that the damage leaves the place uninhabitable, didn’t you ever visit your niece/nephew? That level of damage can’t really be hidden.

Dunno, tough call. Maybe it’s time to take your foot off the pedal. If there’s a loss what’s more important family or money?

Complete the basic portion of the repairs and take him back to court for the costs. The relationship is shot so you might as well get paid what is owed. NTA.

NTA, document everything, and go after him for damages to the property which you are entitled to.

He entered the agreement knowing it would end at some point and so long as you followed the process, everything was above board.

NTA your parents side with Adam because they want adam to stay at your house not their .

NTA - I think your brother & parents are a lost cause. yes you are out money for repairs but I don’t think you will get that money back. I would block your brother & if your parents continue to bring it up, block them too. Your brother can take care of them.

Sounds like a perfect time to do a remodel if you have the means. If you take the fact that it was your brother out of the equation, as a landlord, you would very likely have to do at least a slight remodel (new flooring, deep clean, new paint, new tiling, new appliances depending on life cycle, etc...) after a 15 year tenant before you could get a new tenant in. Sounds like your tenant/brother had 2 young children during the later parts of the lease. They will absolutely increase wear and tear 10x (if not outright destroy shit). Security deposit would have mitigated this to an extent. But just chalk it up to having a bad long term tenant.

NTA. He had a decade and a half to look for a place 

Info: Your brother was a kid when your great-grandmother was sick. Did he inherit anything or were you the only one?

INFO: as the landlord, how did you not know what the house looked like? Did you never go over just to say hi to your brother? You never did any inspection or checks to see if anything needed to be fixed?

NTA.

Back when I was in my twenties our great grandmother ended up with an illness which required someone to take care of her. This ended up being me as everyone else was busy with their lives and I have only recently graduated from uni back then. Due to this when she passed away I have inherited the house she lived in, which is a small 2 bedroom.

my brother asked if I'm willing to rent it out to him, which I agreed to do, but have warned him I will need it back when Caroline turns 18 (She was 3 at the time) since it is very close to universities and city center. Legal agreement was drafted for the rent (significantly below market value) so everything was followed by the book.

I was called an asshole for evicting him and his family so my "spoiled" daughter can live by herself and not giving them enough notice [...] He also said I have inherited the house by "cheating".

You didn't inherit by cheating. You acted as carer for your great-grandmother and she was grateful for it. You were the only person in the family able to care for her - if you hadn't been able to do that, then she'd have had to either sell the house and go into a care home, or use her house as collateral for her domiciliary carer bill - and then no-one in the family would have inherited it anyway.

Further, you gave him fifteen year's notice of your plans for the house. And then you reminded them of the deal they'd agreed to a full year ahead of the deadline. That's plenty of time to find a new place, and with such a generous below-market rent deal, he should have been working to save money during those intervening years. That should have stood him in good stead for a decent rental or even a deposit on a place of his own.

NTA but just sue him for damages and move on with your life. He ruined the relationship when he ignored your messages to move out. 

NTA.

You subsidized his life for 15 years through cheap rent. Then he forced you to spend more time and money to evict him. And he's continuing to cost you time and money to repair his damage.

He's just an ass.

Technically, he had 15 YEARS notice. Of course, your parents are on his side because they don’t want him in their house. It’s your house; you did everything legally and by the book. End of. NTA

You held up your end of the agreement. He did not. You are NTA.

Nta now you can sue him for the damages.

NTA. You did them a favor (for about 14 years if I calculated correctly) and now he's getting crappy about losing his cheap rent. You did everything as agreed upon, he's just complaining about having to pay regular rent like a normal person.

NTA. Nope. Gravy train for bro stops here. 

NTA

NTA. Your brother and parents? Different story.

He doesn’t see it as your house, he sees it as his.

INFO can your brothers family afford any other options?

That last line! “My parents are on his side since Adam and his family live with them.”

Translation: my parents are on his side as it’s their only chance of getting their home back.

Op, stick to your guns. They had ample notice, right from the start of their tenancy.

INFO

Good on you for looking after your great-grandmother. But it seems strange that she would leave a house to you when it sounds like no-one else received anything. Did any other family member receive anything?

Usually people leave their possessions to their child/ren (in your case, your grandparent and their siblings, if any). Then they leave their possessions to their child/ren (your parent and their siblings, if any).

You are very lucky to directly inherit.

And to inherit a whole house.

In this case, if your great-grandmother wanted her great-grandchildren to inherit, that she would split / share her possessions equally but leave you some extra money as thanks for looking after her (or have the house sold and the proceeds shared but with you receiving extra for looking after her).

This is all rather unusual...

NTA what a whiner.

NTA

He has known the move-out date for years. He has had over a decade to find a new place to live. That is far more notice than most people get.

NTA. He knew for years it wasn’t going to be permanent. What an ungrateful person.

NTA

"I inherited this house fairly, by sacrificing a number of my young professional years to care for our ailing grandmother. That's not cheating - that's caring. I was the only one who stepped up to the plate for grandma, and was given the house as a form of compensation for doing so.

That said, you were given advance notice 15 years ago that I would be wanting the house back, and even given a notice a year before - all of which you ignored directly which forced me to evict you.

My house, which you got a very low rental rate on, was not cared for - which was what was agreed upon for you to stay there below the market rate. You didn't upkeep the house nor disclose any disrepair to me.

You not keeping your end of our agreement from start to finish IS cheating. Trying to remain on the property, when warned from the begining and a year in advance to vacate - is cheating. Trying to push our parents to agree with you becuase you didn't even save for your own place while getting a very reasonable rental rate is also cheating. Stomping your feet, destroying the property in retaliation, and pitting our family against me for YOU being a lying and cheating cad, is also - suprise - cheating.

I've been fair, upheld our agreement, and YOU did NOT. So I will be getting quotes related to all the damage you caused in the home, and taking you to court to cover the costs - or we can settle out of court. You got a free ride as far as I am concerned, and you should be more than grateful that I let you stay there for as long as you did for as low a rate as I charged. I am not grateful for you taking advantage of my kindess and acting entitled to my property. So make your pick: either pay me back for the damage you caused, or I take you to court."

NTA. They took advantage of your kindness, trashed your property, and left you holding the bag.

He had 16 years to prepare and trashed the placed. NTA

Just goes to show you people don’t appreciate what you do for them, just mad when it ends. NTA.

If he's living with your parents, its obvious he took a once in a lifetime opportunity to save money and simply lived above his paycheck. I can't see you would gain any benefit from suing him for damages as he has no money or assets to pay should you win that case.

I would say NTA for evicting but if you made no repairs or updates to the property over the 15 years as a landlord, then you should not expect the home to be in mint condition. There’s expected wear and tear on a property after one year with a tenant, let alone 15 years.

oh, the irony of calling your daughter spoiled in this situation.

NTA, there was a deal, average FAFO situation.

NTA

Sue him for the damages.

NTA the contract was there to keep you from accidentally hurting each other and yet he still chose that outcome

NTA. You've done everything the way it should be done. It's a shame that your brother is acting the way he is, but he knew for 15 years that your daughter was moving in when she was 18.

He has had 14 years notice. How disgraceful of him to have damaged the place too. Disgusting. NTA at all. He sounds like an asshole and is acting way too entitled.

NTA

He’s lived in it and paid substantially below market price. There was an agreement drawn up that he agreed to. He’s just mad because he’s entitled. The house is yours to do what you want with and he needs to go and find something else.

FYI my aunt went through this with my cousin, who didn’t pay her the majority of the time she lived in this house that my aunt inherited and would make demands. My aunt evicted them because they were unresponsive.

NTA. Your parents are mad and side with him because now they’re stuck with him and his family. You warned him enough in advance and he was hoping for you just to let him stay there. Your daughter is fortunate and don’t feel bad or guilty. Too bad for him, he didn’t have the decency to do the upkeep so now it’s time to grow up and welcome to the real world.

NTA. As pointed out, he’s had like a decade and a half to prepare. He should have an ample amount of money saved for a down payment on a house, or at the very least enough in savings to pay for an apartment for a long while.

You could take him to court for damages, but at this point you may as well write it off. I’d tell him and the parents to not speak to you or your family again unless it’s to apologize or to pay for the damages. Find a new family. A better family. I’m sure your brother and his family will take care of your parents when they get old. Heck, they may even leave their house to him. Let that be their problems.

NTA. I suspect that anything less than you signing the house over to him for no money and paying for all the repairs yourself would satisfy him. He's being completely unreasonable.

NTA....He lived there with cheap rent, so he benefited from the house. I doubt that between the renovations and the annual expenses you will have made any money off of him. However, the house will have increased in value regardless.  

You put your life on hold to take care of your Grandma, and it was gifted to you in gratitude.  

Your family is wrong to say anything negative to you regarding the situation.  It was no surprise that your daughter would live in it for school. Maybe she can get a roommate to help with the costs. 

NTA. He knew what it was, but thought that the rules didn't apply to him.

He can get fucked.

So let's get this straight. YOU inherited a house but your parents and brother truly think the brother should get the house, not you.

Well, no. You inherited it, not him.

NTA.

You're definitely not the asshole here. You made it clear from the start that the house would be needed for your daughter when she turned 18, and your brother agreed to those terms. It's unfortunate that he ignored your notices and let the house fall into disrepair. Your responsibility is to your daughter, and you're within your rights to ensure she has a suitable place to live, especially since it was your great grandmother's house to begin with. Your brother's accusations seem unfair given the agreement you had in place.

He has been and wanted to continue to take you for granted. He didn't think you'd do anything to enforce it.

INFO: I would like to know how you and your brother dealt with repairs and maintenance during the last 15 years. Did you ever check the house? Did he let you know anything was wrong? Did he fix or maintain anything?

NTA, the only reason that your parents are on his side is because they are now being disturbed by them. The truth is that you are not responsible for his lack of responsibility to make sure that his family had all that they needed.

Just tell your family you are sorry they feel that way but regardless of what they think you will continue to move forward with what you are doing. Tell him that you might take him to court regarding the damage to the home and how they left it. Then see if they stop harassing you or if he mans up and helps you fix up his mistake.