At least she’s an ocean away. If he wants to visit her, he can fly across the ocean. You and baby stay home.

My sil was like this. All over her brothers because she didn’t have a partner and always wanting to exclude me.

Now we see her maybe twice a year and don’t interact with her outside of those two gatherings.

She’s made her bed.

You’ll always remember how mil made you feel and you’ll carry that forward in your interactions with her. Husband needs to set her straight and you both need to create distance from her. She deserves a consequence for making you feel less than.

Do not hand over your baby without a custody order in place. If you do, he can take the baby and not return her until the courts order him to do so.

Do. Not. Let. Him. Take. Your. Baby.

And when he visits, have a male relative over as well to help protect you in case he tries to take the baby.

Nta. I would say more, but it would violate the terms of civility for this sub.

Nope! I would set the rule that any time she yells or throws a tantrum, you and lo will not visit for 3 months so she can reflect on what she can do differently the next time.

I would also not allow any unsupervised visits or babysitting. Any visit that takes place would have me present to help ensure boundaries are respected.

Drive two cars to an event. That way if you feel it’s time to leave due to a tantrum and husband does not feel the same, you can just drive home with lo.

Sounds like you should make your cake and leave the critical grandparents out. Plus you’re lo must be allergic to mil and fil because they’re NUTS.

Whaaaaat!!!!! This is wild. I’m so sorry. Once you’re cleared of this I would take a stress leave and not return for the rest of the year.

Good.

What would be the option if mil lived on another continent? Choose that.

My in-laws offered free care. We paid for a full time daycare spot because it was an investment in our mental health.

1000 a year

Nah. I would just say she’s not moving here and our finances are not going to support her. She needs to sort out her own life.

I’d be filing for divorce if my husband brought her in without my consent.

Get a nice iMac for your classroom!

No babysitting. No visits. No photos. No holidays. She is done. You and the kids don’t see her. Make plans to keep yourselves busy.

Tell husband you’re now done with this problem.

So is it just $1 extra for every kg over?

I was 24. I’m pretty sure those kids did not learn much from me that year.

But 15 years in my practice, methods and knowledge has changed so much.

I did. They have no idea and will try to locate it. They told me it was in transit - so loaded onto a truck - so I’m just wondering what types of events cause these delays. Did the truck break down? Did they forget about it?

Lesley does phone sessions. She’s based out of Canada but also lives pt in Las Vegas. I’m going to delete my comment soon so save her name! She’s worth it!

Marriage counselling. Lesley Timbol is an excellent counsellor. If you do use her, schedule an appointment with just you and her to air your grievances. And then have a session with the 3 of you - she’ll let him know he is wrong.

My husband was the same. Telling me I’m making mountains out of molehills. Saying “she didn’t mean it like that”. He now understands her behaviour was wrong and that he should have worked with me as a partner to stop her.

Toss the card. Keep a box of first birthday memories and when she comes across this box of items (conveniently kept on a table by you) and asks about her card you can say mil we asked you not to use mom mom. So we didn’t think it was appropriate to keep a card that blatantly disrespects our simple request.

MBA

I would never allow this person to be unsupervised around my child. She detests you, treats you like shit and makes you feel second class and you’re concerned about her grandma experience?

If she wants her son, he can go visit. Alone. You and your baby are on VERY limited contact in that you’ll see them twice a year and you will be present for the visits. The moment she says anything out of line, you leave with your baby.

Your husband needs to protect you and have enough respect for you to know what she did was wrong and that she is not a member of your inner circle due to her mistreatment of you.

One way to correct the invite behaviour is for fh to simply decline. And when she says it means for all - he should continue to say no but ask her that she be mindful for the next invite as the answer will always be no if anyone from HIS family (meaning you and lo) is excluded.

She’ll learn real quick once there’s a consequence for her actions.

Post the footage all over the internet. Someone will hopefully recognize them.

I teach at secondary where there is an expectation to pass all kids - even those who don’t attend or those who hand in shitty work.

It’s all a fabrication.

But if my 19/24 kept admin out of my hair for the next 5 years, I’d probably take it and go.