Of course they're boring. That's why they get together and gossip. They have nothing worthwhile to discuss.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."

I think it's pretty similar. I've never used anything for cycling, but tbh I bike less consistently and rigorously than I run. I googled chamois cream and the main difference between chamois cream and the stuff I've seen in ads and for sale is that the anti chafing stuff I've seen is packaged like a stick of deodorant. It feels different, though.

It's full-on summer here now. It's so hot it feels like I'm living on the devil's taint as he patrols hell. All I can say is that if he plans to go cycling, he'll definitely need some chamois cream.

And it's often easier to fantasize about a life where you're super rich and glamorous than a life where you're happy and fulfilled.

Or vanilla, if they're bakers.

I've seen these ads constantly on YouTube.

I use anti-chafing cream because I run (in Texas), but I can't imagine needing it everyday. Even in Texas.

That's fine.

I've been seeing sooooo many ads for all over deodorant, which becomes necessary when you have rolls.

Also, anti-chafing cream -- not just for runners anymore.

And that the CEO and hospital legal counsel would just start going through all of that evidence for the first time in front of OP and their lawyer...

I'd argue that it's also a performance of decorative labor for men.

While statistics suggest that women do much more housework than men, today's men at least occasionally get their hands dirty. I feel like men are more aware, whether they like it or not, and whether they admit it or not, of how untidy and strenuous actual housekeeping and childrearing is.

Trad wives, with their snowy white aprons and perfect manicures, make women's labor aesthetically pleasing. They're a collective personification of a sexy nurse costume.

And he very nearly didn't happen. He got famous on ER, and then left the show for the silver screen. It was a huge risk. And while he did some good stuff, he either wasn't the star or they weren't blockbusters. Each time he nabbed a leading role in a big budget film, it bombed. Batman and Robin could've been a career killer. Even after all these years, I remember reading that Ocean's Eleven was supposedly his "last chance." That film gave him secure footing on the A list. And after that, he was able to try directing and producing, making way more money than just acting, and getting more and more powerful/influential.

He was privileged by nepotism for sure, but probably not to a huge degree. (FYI, he had both Rosemary Clooney and Jose Ferrer as his nepo connection.)

Arguably, his success is gendered in that he was able to "fail upwards" in a way most women don't get to.

People have such strong notions of how victims should be. And the fact is, those notions are almost always 100% inaccurate. The notions are picturesque, and constructed as a product to be consumed. They don't afford victims humanity; victims are only symbols or props. And when the victim doesn't fit the notions, then they're fair game.

It should go without saying that good victims are beyond reproach; there is no possible way they could have avoided their suffering. That's "Good Victim 101."

Good victims will suffer beautifully, stoically, a lot, but neatly. They're not messy or loud about it.

Good victims have very tidy wounds. They can be sad about the specific way they suffered, but they shouldn't ever "act out." Substance abuse, maladaptive coping mechanisms, BPD -- these negate victimhood.

Good victims don't blame anyone not directly responsible for their suffering. They don't consider systemic issues, or societal ignorance/apathy. They never lash out. They make no demands, reasonable or not.

But here's the other thing -- good victims are ruined. They need to be stoic and clean about it, but good victims stay victims. They never recover from it. Good victims are never able to articulate their injury, to apply logic and reason. They cannot advocate for themselves. They cannot erect, maintain, and defend their boundaries. They have no agency at all.

Good victims are supposed to leave no trace.

It's a pretty established context in some academic circles. I once took a fashion history course (focused mostly on Western fashion). I remember learning that the rise of the moneyed mercantile class and the creation of the bourgeoisie inspired women's fashion to change more rapidly than men's fashion, and to become so more complicated, because dressing your female family members became a "subtle" way to show off your wealth. At the time, there was still a moral disapproval of conspicuous consumption, but bitches be shopping. It's also why so much Renaissance art is religious. You could morally flaunt your wealth if it was religious/honoring God.

Possibly. Or maybe autocorrect/autosuggest noticed the names and fixed them? When I type in bell hooks, it doesn't "fix" it or suggest capitalization. But I start typing in Janet and Kim with all caps, it makes the edit. Same with the word Sistine.

Have you been to therapy? Are you able to articulate what it is about the twin experience that made it so hellish that your resentment remains? What is it about them that continues to nurture your antipathy for them? Where is your husband in all this? Your post says you don't know how you carried all of you this far. Are you carrying him, too?

The fact that you love the singleton baby but not the twins -- despite them all being the same sex -- suggests yours isn't a typical regretful parent situation. For many (most?) people here, they find out too late that parenthood simply isn't the meaningful and rewarding experience that it's advertised as.

Gambling is illegal in many places. Even though an activity is illegal, some people still do the activity. Sometimes those people even write Reddit posts about doing the illegal activity. Mind. Boggled.

So I spent 30 seconds hacking the planet (googling) and found that apparently, 22% of colleges have gambling policies in their handbooks.

Colleges can restrict gambling on campus or in residence halls.

Purdue University has prohibited it.

Oh my God. Yes. I was also called Philosopher Barbie and an "intellectual airhead." Whenever I misplaced an assignment or expressed frustration, my friends would joke that on the upside, I was pretty enough to marry rich. In our uber-competitive AP classes, that was a seriously bitchy "compliment." Once a teacher heard and joined in. (Fuck teachers who try to be cool.) On the upside, the teacher making that joke effectively killed it.

And therein lies another difference between men and women: I'm a lady, and if I see a dog, I will get in your way so I can start a conversation with her. Because I value her input on the age old question of who is the prettiest, perfectest puppy in the whole wide world. Is it her? Is it her? It is!

It would also qualify as a surname name (a la Mackenzie or Bailey or Cameron). My thoughts immediately went to Adam Bede by George Eliot, maybe because I'm an English teacher and I once took a whole graduate level class on George Eliot. A classmate even did a paper on the symbolism of the name Adam Bede. So when I saw it on the list, I didn't need to close my eyes to gather myself.

The thing is the original injury seems kind of resolved. It's hard to explain. The way she acted in the beginning of May is different from how she's acting now. There's some overlap in the symptoms, like with the limping, but it's like the injury turned her into a frail old lady.

I have the tablet kind of cosequin that I ground into a powder and then mixed with gelatin and beef broth to make jello for her. She loves that treat, but she wouldn't take it with the cosequin. We more recently got chews that look like little sausages. She ate them once and never again. This is the norm for her; she has never been food motivated. I'll look into the dasequin.

Thanks for the info and for reading at all. I'm a teacher and off for the summer, so I have all the time in the world to obsessively watch my dogs. Thank God they can't file restraining orders.

The vet said to only let JJ walk enough to go potty. She actually said to keep JJ crated if necessary; she wants her away from the other dogs and on extreme activity restriction. Giving JJ the study and balcony was a compromise because I know my girl would hate being in a crate for an extended period of time since she hasn't been in one in years.

She has been taking gabapentin. We have cosequin chews, but JJ hates them. I tried grinding them up and putting them in jello molds made out of broth, but she wasn't fooled. I've heard cosequin really helps, though, so I'll try again.

I've thought about getting a second opinion. We have the Petco thing where you pay $20 per month and get free vet check ups and other stuff; it has been pretty good until now. Maybe I should go to an independent vet clinic.

NTA.

If you're already willing to go no contact, I'd have fun and escalate it. Yep, your fil is entitled to his opinion, and his opinion is demonstrably inaccurate and unfounded. It calls to mind a tweet I decided to google so I could quote it precisely: "A fact is information minus emotion. An opinion is information plus experience. Ignorance is an opinion lacking information. And, stupidity is an opinion that ignores a fact."

On the criteria presented above, ask FIL and hubby to categorize that opinion.

FYI: Your husband sucks, too. His condonation and DARVO of his father's ableism is more than a red flag. It's an out-and-out character flaw.

That. Sounds. Amazing. I literally perked up like a curious dog 

Well, if the toot fits...

I've always ascribed to the principle of helping karma do her thing, and let her take the credit.

I'm a strategist, not a warrior.

Being the bigger person is dumb. Looking like the bigger person is smart.