What kind of bulk gifts can we order to avoid showing up empty-handed? #ADHDhacks

Tips & Techniques

Been invited for dinner by two lovely people who go out of their way to cook stuff for me that I can digest (lots of new food intolerances), and I don't have the energy to get them a thoughtful gift beforehand. AGAIN. Just showing up will be challenging enough, lol.

Maybe we can brainstorm together? I'm talking dinner gifts, birthday gifts, and maybe even holiday gifts. Preferably not gendered.

Things I've already tried/thought of:
Giftcards: buying about 100 random, second-hand giftcards turned out a success.
Case of good wine: is often well-received (because: alcohol), but as someone intolerant of the stuff, it's a bit odd to gift.
Luxury foods: might not survive collecting dust in high humidity on my shelf for more than a year...
Gifting books: gave out a few copies of my favorite book once on x-mas (Haemin Sunim). Aftermath: they didn't seem to like it... One person went out of their way to tell me how the book DIDN'T help them with their mental issues (ok...?).
Luxury, environmentally friendly soap bar: got a lot of 'meh' responses

Currently stocking up on thermal socks and cozy heating pads for the holidays in advance (hella cheap now). I thought of children's toys, but they're often so age-specific...

Any more ideas?

Edit: I'm not from the US

Edit: Holy hell, this post literally got 200 comments! I got pulled away for a while, will respond to you guys tomorrow <333333333

in adhdwomenby Smellmyupperlip

568

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Pinklady777

872

I always just bring a bottle of wine. Or if they don't drink, chocolate or dessert. Nobody wants more crap. Bring consumables.

CharmedInTheCity

295

Hard agree! Flowers can also occasionally be nice but as someone with cats who eat them, know your audience.

CleverNomDePlume

159

Yes! I had a date who brought flowers when he picked me up. They were beautiful lillys. He remembered a story of how my dad used to grow them, but the deer ate them all. So, it was the perfect gift, except I have a cat, so I gave them to my neighbors.

eastherbunni

Good call, so many people don't know lilies are incredibly bad for cats.

DuckyDoodleDandy

Agreed! Lillies are almost always deadly to cats. I don’t buy lilies unless I’m sure the person doesn’t have a cat.

fine_line

One of my husband's favorite memories from our early days is the first time he gave me flowers. He said he handed me the bouquet and I looked so genuinely happy and thankful while I pulled out all the toxic flowers and lectured him on cat safety. He thought "Yup, this is the one. She's for me."

StarchyBiscuits

Sometimes my partner will pick up one of those ready made bouquets from the grocery store that always inevitably have lilies and/or other not particularly cat friendly things in them (and with my particular cats, very little can be considered friendly or safe (sometimes for the flowers' safety as much as the cats')). It's become a silly thing I love where I'll pull out the offending stems and put them in a little vase to bring with us on whatever adventures we are having that day. It brings me so much joy to have them in the cupholder in the car on our way out to a hike or whatever, and something about bringing your own flower arrangement into a restaurant feels especially ridiculous and delightful - especially when the restaurant in question is a tiny little diner with peeling vinyl booths and you're there for a greasy breakfast.

WampaCat

Maybe it’s just me but I don’t love getting flowers as hostess. hosting people usually means I’m busy with food and keeping everyone entertained, and it’s hard for me to switch gears and look for a vase to put them in, find the shears to snip the ends, and decide where to put them because all the usual places are covered in food or other party preparation stuff. I listened to an episode of Awesome Etiquette where they discussed this and felt so validated lol. Basically they talk about how it’s not the best idea to give a gift to someone that might require any additional effort on their part to receive it.

I appreciate when they bring flowers already arranged in a vase with water, but now I have a lot of vases that never get used because I wouldn’t have picked them out on my own. All that being said I do like it when my husband brings flowers home because he does all of that extra stuff automatically.

Specific-Mess

As a flower fan I 100% give you permission to just say "thanks!" And drop them on a free space until you can deal with them.

Anyone who has any comments is welcome to sort it out themselves but aren't allowed to asked you where anything is or get in your way. (But maybe that's just how I've decided to operate 🤣)

WampaCat

Even if I do that, it’s still another thing to deal with after everyone leaves! Which in my situation is even worse as cleanup after a party is already so excruciating lol

Dutch-CatLady

My mom gets flowers every year for her birthday, she just has some buckets with water to put them in when the party starts and the next day she starts prepping them.

Just an option when someone gifts you flowers

WampaCat

It’s still a chore to me no matter when it happens. And the longer they sit there without getting taken care of the more pressing it becomes or they’ll just start to go bad even sooner. Time sensitive chores are the worst kind to me!

Dutch-CatLady

You can just not cut them and throw them out earlier than usual. No shame in that❤ If people really cared, they'd ask if you'd like flowers

GhostPepperFireStorm

You can also appreciate them for the moment they’re handed to you and accept that they go in the compost the next day. Fleeting pleasure is still pleasant

iTammie

It’s not just you, it’s basically a bunch of time-sensitive chores 🙃

Cardabella

Mayne you should only bring flowers for people who you know well enough to march into the kitchen, dig out a vase from under the sink, snip the ends off and put them in the compost and set the flowers on the mantlepiece. Ie you already know where scissors, vases, flowers and compost go.

corianderrocks

Thank you for sharing this! I don't like receiving flowers, I resent the work that goes into looking after them and then they die and I've got a bunch of dead flowers in a vase that make me feel guilty for not looking after them and I have to throw them out (which is even more work!). I feel a lot better after reading your words about etiquette, thank you. I also hate receiving plants as a gift for the same reasons but I've never been able to articulate why it's a bad idea/ bad manners but now I know. Thanks!

PS please no unkind comments, I think this is one big way that my ADHD plays out in my life, I really appreciate the thought behind the flowers I would just rather the giver show me the flowers then take them home again with them!

Tyty__90

I've gotten to the point where I don't know what to get my mom or mother in law for their birthdays or mother's day because they already have everything they need, so I get them flowers. I like to make my own flower arrangements and I think it makes them appreciate it a little more.

International-Act-19

108

Yes for consumables! A nice bottle of olive oil usually does the job for me

britset

Yeah, if they like to cook, nice olive oil is always appreciated! I also love when people give me fancy spices and seasonings. Smoked salt and gourmet peppercorn blends already in their own grinders; a small tin of saffron threads, aged shoyu (fancy soy sauce), or even unique sausages from the fancy delis that can be easily frozen and don’t take up a ton of room, or hard salamis that stay good at room temp for a long time. Also really nice tins of tea or gourmet coffee beans!

wethelabyrinths111

Or vanilla, if they're bakers.

onecoolchic77

That's a really good idea!

Constant-Sundae-3692

Nobody wants more crap. Bring consumables.

This thisssssss!!! A candle, wine, I hate gifting and receiving gifts because I grew up with an ethnic hoarder family from a tradition of countless useless souvenirs and gifts

I love my culture, but im tired

Please make it consumable!

LotusBlooming90

My mom works in wine distribution and gets a hefty discount on cases, a solid 50%. She is also adhd so every year we buy 2-3 cases and that’s what we both pull from anytime we don’t want to show up empty handed.

If someone one doesn’t drink, we scramble lol. Which is odd because neither of us drink so you’d think that was the scenario we’d be more prepared for.

Pinklady777

Haha! That's crazy she works in the industry and doesn't drink at all. That's actually perfect! Wine really is the easiest! Whole foods has some cute and yummy mini desserts. They are a little pricey, because it's whole foods of course. But on par with a bottle of wine. I've been getting those lately.

DuckyDoodleDandy

Try a nice oil (like olive oil) for non-drinkers … unless they don’t cook, in which case you can fall back on a gift card.

amelia_earheart

A nice jar of jam is always appreciated. If you know the person well a quality candle that matches their tastes. If they have dogs, high quality dog treats

Tyty__90

Ding ding ding. This is the right answer. Most adults don't want or have the space for more THINGS. Consumables is the way to go. For my wedding last year, my favors were chocolates and mints in a little box with a sticker that had our names and wedding date. My gifts to my brides maids were all consumables like hand moisturizer, lip balm, etc. And a hand written letter. I don't regret!

ErrantTaco

I don’t drink but know lots of people who do and so this is my go to. Thankfully I live in the US and the Trader Joe’s staff are very helpful! The other thing good cooks tend to respond to well is some nice kitchen towels. I personally love getting them :)

IAmNotAPersonSorry

There is a small vinegar producer in my city and they have small bottles of different balsamic vinegars, like 8oz bottles. I’ve found that the people in my life who like to cook also like to try new things like fancy balsamic vinegar or olive oil. Plus vinegar will keep well if you keep it in a cool dark place.

Kathryn_Painway

373

Book-wise, you might consider fiction. Books about self improvement can sometimes be received as a criticism, while fiction can be seen more as a “I enjoyed this piece of media, and I thought you might too.”

I have a bunch of beautiful notebooks I give in a pinch. Nice candles are also fun (SNL has a song about a single peach candle being regifted around the world). Tote bags can be good too.

neish

139

Agree on the book... Self-help is tricky. Consider also coffee table books of photography or art.

Grimalkinnn

Tote bags seem well received. Lots of cute fi ds on Etsy

Optimal-Night-1691

I'd be careful with fiction too - any books for that matter.

I had such a hard time responding politely when my mother-in-law got me the first 2 or 3 Steig Larsson books from the "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" series. She knew I pretty exclusively read fantasy (and only a few authors at that), but they'd been highly recommended to her so she thought I'd like them.

They were so far outside my tastes that I couldn't finish the first, let alone the other one or two and donated them ASAP.

Kathryn_Painway

I think the worst scenario with fiction is the person doesn’t like them, while self improvement can be taken as an insult. With any gift there’s a chance someone won’t like it— maybe they hate chocolate or have a closet full of tote bags.

Optimal-Night-1691

Good point.

I do love the tote bag idea, but that could be because my reusable grocery bags are wearing out lol

RemarkableStation420

142

A bottle of wine, I grow my own plants so a little homegrown one of those are often appreciated. Maybe a good box of chokolates, they have long expiration dates.

ArtistAmes

Homegrown plants…stellar gift!!

Grimalkinnn

I’m propagating a shit ton of jade plants and Hoya for this reason. If I’m left with too many by fall I’ll leave them out with a note for people to take.

Smellmyupperlip

Good tips!

CaterpillarMental249

What kind of plants do you grow and how do you not kill them?

RemarkableStation420

I take the small cuttings, put them in water till they form roots, then I plant them in a little pot, the plant I usually does it with is a plant called “Chlorophytum comosum” in Latin, I don’t know other than the danish word for the plant, so I used google.

Edit: to answer how I do not kill them, I have no idea, I am either lucky or naturally green fingers.

WampaCat

For those wondering, chlorophytum comosum is commonly known as the spider plant. They make tons of convenient little baby spider plants that are easy to snip off and root somewhere else.

Izzy_Isadora

Spider plant! Yes, one of the easiest house plants to keep AND propagate. I had one for years that survived being my cat's favorite napping spot.

anyansweriscorrect

I was gifted a cutting in a jar and didn't actually get around to planting it for months. All the water in the jar dried up, it was sad and crusty as all get up. And then was perfectly fine once I put it in some soil, lol. Perfect ADHD plant.

RemarkableStation420

It’s a very adaptable plant, so grateful, and great outcome, Ty for the American name for it! 🙏

Kigeliakitten

And not toxic to cats !

Grimalkinnn

Most people kill their houseplants by overwatering them. It’s become a huge hobby for me. My biggest starter tip is to keep it by the window that gives the most light and let your plant dry out a bit before watering. Sometimes in the winter my plants can go a few weeks without watering depending on the plant.

Hope this helps. I love my plants, fussing with them is a great way for me to stim, especially when I’m bored at night.

aizlynskye

I was just given tulip bulbs from a friends garden and it was the sweetest gift!

User deleted comment

-spython-

You're not doing it wrong. I like hosting different groups of friends for dinner at least once a month, and my partner hosts our DnD group every other Sunday. I would say that half the people bring something to eat/drink, and half bring nothing at all. Both are completely OK! We don't expect anything other than being able to enjoy each other's company.

domesticbland

It’s a lot. Which is why I’m really into the vibe of this. It’ll circle around when I don’t implement any of the ideas.

NinjasWithOnions

I’m not social! When I am feeling “social”, I’m just more chatty on Reddit and with my friends that all live in other states/other countries. 😁

I do like giving thoughtful gifts though. I love trying to figure out what a person would want.

dracona

I agree, I'm also wondering who gets invited for meals so often?? I can't remember the last time I was when it wasn't my daughter....

OutAndDown27

367

I have a stash of gifts I've been given that don't suit me or I don't want. As long as I label it with who I originally got it from, I can regift 😅

Smellmyupperlip

116

Shmort!!!

not_a_chicken_nugget

Finally, someone who speaks like moi

cz_vrana

I will be stealing this expression!

missamericakes

I have the stash but holy moly labels!!! Genius!!!

OutAndDown27

It's wild to me how much the fear of social fuckups makes me a more organized and competent adult at times

Dashiepants

Yep lol! Been riding waves of anxiety into competence my whole life! I imagine a fair amount of “successful” ADHD women are powered by fear and anxiety.

GhostPepperFireStorm

That’s how I explained my life during my assessment and the psychologist said you’d be surprised how diagnostic that is! Hug to us and hopefully we’re finding moments of calm and ease!

Demonqueensage

That's what makes me look like s competent adult to others a lot of times 😂

eastherbunni

I do this too!

okokokthatsit

248

Wow I don’t socialise enough to need this lol.

Nice candles or tea/teacup sets like they sell at T2.

evenstarthian

Nice candles is a great idea. Thanks!

Rosewoodtrainwreck

Nice candles or... this might sound weird but everyone loves when I gift them a foaming hand soap from Bath and Body works. Not guys, probably, but all the women in my life love these.

worqgui

I’d be so hyped if someone brought me a hand soap lol. My husband maintains we only need to buy the most inexpensive hand soaps so the b&bw ones are such a treat!

DoubleProbation-

Books. My mom would buy books everywhere, first hand, second hand. Everyone got used books for every holiday.

Rosewoodtrainwreck

That would be perfectly fine with me and one or two of my kids.

Rosewoodtrainwreck

Nice candles or... this might sound weird but everyone loves when I gift them foaming hand soap from Bath and Body works. Not guys, probably, but all the women in my life love these. I figured it's something everyone can use, especially if you have multiple bathrooms.

skelly80

I agree but disagree as well. I can’t even walk into bath and body works without getting a headache but most people seem to love it. I can’t have fragrant products in my home, the only candles I can use are unscented or naturally scented. These are more popular and accessible than they used to be thankfully

amelia_earheart

I would really avoid cups or mugs. Some people, myself included, have very specific preferences and don't want more mismatched items that they now feel obligated to keep.

funnydarksquiggles

unrelated, but your username reminded me of the time I got my hair done by a girl whose ig was something like amelia hairart lolol

azssf

In my circle it is wine, home cooked things, and flowers.

You’ll notice all 3 are easily used during the event.

For more sophisticated parties or people you do not know, I would have to devoted brain space to figure out. However no brain space needed at tail end: text or email or send card the following day thanking the host.

invinciblesummergirl

Ooh that is such a good point about remember to thank the host the following day. I've hosted a few holiday events at my home, and it means so much to get a little acknowledgement the next day. I'm usually worrying if everyone had a horrible time or if they liked the food, and it makes me so much calmer just to get a message that someone appreciated it.

lesfrontalieres

nice spices (like burlap and barrel), loose leaf teas, gift baskets

gift packaging- feel like i’m always fumbling at the last minute to find bags/tissue paper/ribbons

*i think there was a thread awhile back about visa gift cards expiring or something in case that’s of any concern?

statusisnotquo

gift cards expiring

The threads I've seen have been about gift cards being scammed a lot in the US right now. Basic advice is do not buy gift cards unless they are behind the register, and even then best not to risk it. The scammers are putting rigged cards at the checkouts and so when you put you money on the card, it gets routed to somewhere else and you're SOL. OP say's she's in Europe though so hopefully their thieves are more ethical?

hexagon_heist

Yeah I’ve started making a nice personalized card saying here is $__ for x purpose and then venmoing the person when I give them the card. Safer plus if they don’t want to use the money for that thing they don’t have to

neish

I think the key is to have a few options for gifts rather than bulk buying a bunch of only 1 thing. People here have given some good suggestions of soap, candles, wine etc. a few of each is good to have on hand, but also consider homemade or homegrown stuff.

abstract watercolor painting in a simple frame or cards ready for giving giftcrds
propagate succulents in cute little pots (just have a few ready at a time, no need to have too many, plus they do okay being neglected)
jams, chutneys, pickled veggies, garlic spread (personal fave). If you don't want to make them yourself, consider paying someone who does it often to make you a bulk order.
teas and spice blends

Edit: bees wax clothes!

shelltrix2020

I love to recieve (and give) homemade stuff!!! If you grew it, painted it, cooked it or just cut it out of a magazine and put it in a frame, I'm tickled pink! Not everyone is crafty or confident in their skills, but honestly, it doesnt take much.

CaterpillarMental249

Agree! Also, I personally have too many things and kind of hate it when people give me stuff. Now I have to find a place for it…

But! If it’s home made I like it so much more, especially if it’s consumable or already packaged in a way I can easily use (like in a frame).

I got a relatively cheap photo printer and have been giving people nice photos of us or them or their pets, and I have a stock of simple frames (that aren’t easily breakable).

Idk. Gifting is hard! I’ve been trying to opt out of it entirely.

bahdumtsch

Love the ideas about homemade gifts! Given we have ADHD we prob needs ones that keep well. One time someone gave me a homemade flavored salt gift and that was awesome … and I imagine salt keeps well.

Another friend made me coasters with handpicked florals/greens preserved in resin from our phone calls. That was amazing.

I’ve heard of people making their own vanilla extract which is pretty cool? It takes a while to distill in a dark closet I think.

high-kale

101

Those hanging crystals that make rainbows in the sun 🌈Can get packs of them for fairly cheap. For some reason everyone really likes those. Even the people who won’t use them I think it’s an easy thing to re gift as well

PupperoniPoodle

Ooh, this is so random and also so perfect! I can easily imagine almost anyone in my circles liking one, even my grumpy old dad

PepperPhoenix

You can also buy a (fairly cheap) kit off Amazon with all the bits and bobs you need to make a bunch of your own. Kept me occupied for a few days earlier this year.

Demonqueensage

That kit sounds so cool

subspiria

I have this fear that I'd get someone one, and the sun would magnify through it and accidentally set my friends house on fire

sortaplainnonjane

My daughter wanted a rainbow theme for her 4th birthday. I got some of these to gift her actual rainbows. Coolest gift idea I've ever had. :)

priscilla1997

My mom put one of those in my christmas stocking this year and it was my FAVE gift because its so pretty and totally not something you buy for yourself usually!! love this idea :-)

lilac_blaire

My friend got me a beautiful one of these that has to hang on a wall instead of a window because it makes my cat crazy haha. So if anyone has a reflection-obsessed cat… beware!

Curious_Aspect_9631

I found this old crystal chandelier once in a thrift store and hung many crystals on fishing wire in my windows. They catch the sun so beautifully and create little rainbows everywhere...
Never thought of making this as a gift!

OneofHearts

Ok, so I really wanted one of these. Then I got one, and I have no idea what to do with it. Where do I put it that looks pretty and not just like a random crystal hanging from a hook above a window?

BoysenberryMelody

Put it in a window that faces the sun. I’m in North America so mine is in a south facing window.

[deleted]

I just looked those up and remembered I have a box of at least a hundred of these from about 20 years ago. I can’t even remember why I have them and I would only consider myself a very slight hoarder. lol. They were definitely not because they created rainbows so thank you so much for this!!

Bright_Shake2638

Were you up cycling a crystal chandelier?

[deleted]

I know I bought it off of Etsy as chandelier parts but since I never was into crystal chandeliers I’m not sure. I was making a lot of jewelry at the time but those are pretty massive. One can only guess what amazing idea I had at that moment that got lost with all of my other amazing ideas. lol

Bright_Shake2638

Very relatable!

Ok-Grapefruit1284

Hear me out on this. Buy a spider plant. Water the spider plant. Feed the spider plant. Set the spider plant in the sun. Watch the spider plant give you babies. Lots of babies. Pick off the babies, one by one. Plop the babies in tiny cheap terracotta pots of dirt. Feed the babies. Water the babies. Give the babies away until people are tired of babies.

Now buy a golden pothos….

AfroTriffid

Thirdly buy an Aloe Vera plant

Egoteen

Tbh this also works with sourdough starter if you have friends in your circle who are into baking.

SyrupStitious

I keep a bunch of esoteric tea sampler boxes, gift bags and tissues, and a collection of wildly different mugs and teacups. I find a cute or clunky mug (ie whatever style fits them) stuffed with jasmine milk tea or thai tea (also whatever in your collection fits them) in a cute, colorful tissue in a gift bag goes over very well! I also have been known to go overboard on whatever Amazon can deliver by the next day, and then keeping whatever I got for the next event...

I'm rambling. I also find shower steamers or bath bombs are well received, and people have already mentioned candles, but there are also flameless candles and candle warmers for folks with pets. Oh, and pet toys and treats are a nice addition for people with pets too!

SinsOfKnowing

See I love the mug/tea idea, but for a while everyone did this for me and I now have SO MANY mugs that cannot go in the dishwasher taking up space in my kitchen 😅 so as a fellow ADHDer, PLEASE check the sticker on the bottom of the mugs!

DuckyDoodleDandy

Regift the ones that aren’t dishwasher safe to non-ADHD people. Sneaky way to solve two problems.

steggo

A friend of mine is a gifter. Any time I see her, she has a small gift for me and anyone else there. I've learned that she's just a habitual shopper and professional mom.

Anyway! She goes out to Kohl's and Target and loads up on clearance goods, especially after holidays. They don't have to be big holidays, either. She once gave my girls little plastic shark trays in celebration of shark week.

missamericakes

I keep a tote bin for future gifts and regifting opportunities… anything nice I get for bday or xmas that I don’t want, into the tote bin. See a few neato gifties while I’m out? Straight to the bin. Sale on candles? Believe it or not, bin.

GrasshopperGRIFFIN

I need to make a gift bin! And I'll put bags/tissue/wrapping paper in it as well!

amelia_earheart

Hahaha I read this in the accent 🤣🐕

ladyerim

How about something like local honey or jellies. Shelf stable, a consumable, can kinda fancy but in a low key way.

ToxicFluffer

That’s my go to! And it gives me an excuse to buy honey every time I’m at the farmers market haha

AdChemical1663

Candles.
Starts of your own plants, bulk order nice pots.
bouquet of flowers on the way, from the nice grocery store
If they drink, buy a case of good local wine. I prefer to buy sweeter, sipping wines that are approachable as opposed to something with big character. Around here, they’re called porch wines or hot tub wines.

IrreversibleDetails

I hesitate with anything scented, like candles, cause I can personally never use them without either getting a headache or having an asthma attack - definitely nice for some ppl though!!

a-nonna-nonna

Fellow asthmatic here. I follow my mom around the house blowing out her relit candles at parties - usually takes 2 circuits until she finally listens to me.

AdChemical1663

Absolutely! I tend to use them outside so the scent isn’t overwhelming.

IrreversibleDetails

I hesitate with anything scented, like candles, cause I can personally never use them without either getting a headache or having an asthma attack - definitely nice for some ppl though!!

ArtistAmes

I’ve often had magical thinking that I would have a “gift closet” always stocked and ready to go. I’d convert my linen closet into a space for this purpose. I’d have shelves for different types of gifts types / occasions. Housewarming / host gifts, with some cool dish towels from Anthropologie, some Diptyque scented candles, sets of unique coasters and a few bottles of wine. Teacher gifts, some cool tote bags, notepads, writing sets. Birthdays, a few retail and Apple gift cards.

Socks, scarves, gloves and some totes and reusable grocery/travel bags have been hits.

You’re amazing for thinking of this to get ahead of the game and give thanks to those around you!

Fair-Account8040

I buy toys on sale at Toys R Us after Christmas and have them hanging out in the closet for when my kid is invited to birthday parties and such.

AfroTriffid

I have money for this situation. The kids love getting money and only the parents will judge you.

keepcalmanddrinkgin

Do you knit or crochet? I am completely talentless in that, but my mom is luckily really good at it. So knitted socks or mittens or so?

Homemade cookies, sauces or condiments? Home grown fruits or veggies?

I like to gift plant babies (sorry can’t come up with a better word) and that is usually much appreciated 🙌

I know photoshop & co so I like to make cards or bullshit diplomas or something dumb and funny.

Adorable_Win4607

ADHD-C

I literally impulse-bought a bunch of grab bags from a bando sale that were mostly cute stationery and office things that I keep in a drawer at work for when I forget someone’s birthday. lol. So I understand the impulse! I like cute notebooks, candles, and wine for emergency presents!

ToxicFluffer

Extremely relatable comment 😭

[deleted]

I grew up and was friends with the original founder/CEO of bando.

kvinnakvillu

I get you - having a bulk stash of gifts living in a gift closet sounds like an ADHD LPT that I needed, so thank you! lol. Here are my ideas:

Wine - Agreed on your case idea. You could get a case of wine from Naked Wines - they have great promos and prices, and you can choose a wide variety so that you never show up with the same bottle constantly.

Candles - buy a set of candles or a collection and just give them individually

Tea/hand towels - Buy as you see cute ones and your stash will accumulate.

Tea - buy a couple of nice tea sets or boxes. Maybe have a variety for nicer ones and more chill ones to pair with…

Coffee mugs/travel mugs - buy cute ones as you see them

denisebuttrey

I love to gift a good bottle of olive oil or vinegar - balsamic or anything unusual, good salt, nice pepper, tea towels from my travels.

fastenie

I made a ‘multifunctional’ card and ordered a 100 of them! It looks like this:

This is a card for your: ▫️birthday ▫️wedding ▫️baby ▫️christmas ▫️just because

And then I just put a cross on whatever I need! It’s in Dutch, but if any Dutch speaking person wants it, let me know! I will send it to you! My family and friends think it’s hilarious they always get the same card for different occasions… 🤪

Smellmyupperlip

I am Dutch! What a coincidence! Please send! Do you need my email?

myblueheaven57

I found a box of 12 blank cards that just say "YAY!" in silver glitter and I wish I had more - they're useful again and again!

TraceyWoo419

In addition to wine, liquor, and chocolate, flowers are a great gift for a host because they are disposable so it's not a gift that has to be kept or used.

A_shy_neon_jaguar

This is my go to. And I've been working to create a little flower garden that always has something in bloom so I can always go out and pick an in season bouquet when needed.

MergerMe

I think luxury tea would be great, specially those with cool mixes of different herbs. Maybe coffee or coffee pods?

In my friend circle luxury soap makes people really happy.

How about the newest technology cheap gadget, I remember a fan that connects to the cellphone via microUSB was all the rage years ago, and those circle lights that clip on smartphones for the perfect selfie were a success too.

a bouquet of nice dried flowers?

ohhellocat

I keep a collection of neutral-ish Bath and Body Works candles and soaps. They have sales every week, so if you keep an eye out (and if you sign up as a rewards member and you’re lucky enough to get coupons) you can usually get candles from 11-13 dollars each and soaps for 3ish dollars.

If Bath and Body Works isn’t your shop of choice, stores like Marshall’s, TJ Maxx, and Home Goods usually have great deals on candles too.

Pick two that complement each other, put them in a nice gift bag, and ta-da!

Oh, and B&BW also has two semi annual sales a year in December and June! So I stock up on winter scents and then I’m set for the upcoming Christmas. The candle/soap gift combo is perfect for holiday parties/dinners or grab bag gifts.

Smellmyupperlip

I have no idea what those brands are, because I live in Europe, lol!

But a candle-soap gift idea rocks!!!!

Fredredphooey

On a related note, a home scent diffuser.. the one that's the sticks in a jar, I think would be ideal.

It's decorative and useful, but no risk of burning the house down.

vpseudo

All those are a big no for anyone who knows anyone with migraines or scent issues.

HomoCarnula

I would recommend small books that bring a bit of joy, eg Liz Climo. It's cute, inoffensive and they are not that expensive. If travelling, maybe a little book or so from your home area.

Not to invalidate other suggestions, just my two cents:

Wine / alcohol is difficult. People do not drink for various reasons, and amongst them might be somebody who is in an active battle against alcoholism, so even having that in the house might pose a risk. Food is also difficult, due to allergies / dietary restrictions. Like I LOVE food...but only the food I love. Happy to try new stuff but already having to explain that yes, I am one in 10.000 or so people who is actually allergic to Capsaicin 😬 or the 'oh I understand that you love it, and I love you for wanting to share it with me. It just makes me vomit just thinking about putting that near mouth hole, so I will throw it' smile 😶

Plants and flowers: make sure the people don't have pets. Especially cats are in danger of being accidentally poisoned (eg lilies... Even the leaves or the pollen is so potent in killing cats :( ).

snowqueen_6

Photography/art books or candles are usually well received

Spezz_is_spermm

I keep some nice sparkling wines stored. People love opening them at the party itself.

Lundonelewk

gc are the worst to get personally.

high end spices, oils, etc way nicer, esp if they’re cooking for you!

ShitJustGotRealAgain

Homemade marmalade or pickled vegetables? Some scented or flavoured salt? Like lemon salt or something. Flavoured vegetable oil for cooking like garlic or chilli oil. In a nice-looking bottle, it has a nice and homey look. Or premade cooking mixtures where you can still make out the layers. Something like that https://www.einfachbacken.de/rezepte/cookies-backmischung-im-glas-in-nur-5-min-fertig

[deleted]

If someone is a friend of mine they know I’m rarely serious. I bought a bunch of random trophy toppers, a muscle man flexing, a guy with a paddle (pickleball or ping pong), a beauty queen and other really stupid shit. Then bought corks. Turned them into wine toppers.

Next I got sticker paper and printed out really stupid labels. Stocked up on some super cheap wine and when I’m about to leave somewhere I slap the label on one, tie some twine around the topper and there ya have it.

Excellent-Win6216

Oh I LOVE doing this. Generally if I’m out and about and see something cute and gifty under $10, I buy 2-3 and keep them in a box so I have some variety - housewarming, acquaintance bday, dinner party, etc. same for cards. Costco is great for this, and wine shops usually have a little gifts section by the register.

Currently:

candles
cute little wooden or metal boxes with a arty design
same, but trays. Most Women will find a use lol
pretty gloves
hand lotion sample set
luxury tea sample set
fun/funny socks
fancy truffle oils set
joke napkins (“please leave by 9pm, I’m tired)
coasters
pretty journal/fancy pen set

Freckledimple74

Throughout the year, I try to pick up little semi-personal gifts for people, so I am usually prepared for the rare social outing.

diwalk88

Wine and/or nice chocolates or biscuits/cookies. Nuts could also work. Consumables are always preferable, most people don't want or need more stuff

GoldenMonkey91

Wait how do you buy secondhand gift cards?? What does that mean haha

alphaidioma

Years ago I sold some gift cards on eBay where people paid less than face so I could have cash rather than a gift card to a store I don’t shop at.

Nowadays I think they have apps/services that middleman this, but gift cards are also the locus for scams, so I’d be really careful to vet whatever method you use.

fulsooty

Tiny succulents

Luxury hand lotion and/or lip balm

Bath bombs

Tiny, high quality cutting board with a cute hand towel

A bag of good quality coffee (not very shelf stable)

Make your own vanilla extract & gift that

Are there any hand-made/specialty shops near you? I know someone who owns goats & they make soaps & lotion out of goat's milk--always a hit with people. Same with the local olive oil company. We also have a local lavender farm that sells sachets for drawers.

TogetherPlantyAndMe

I like to bring those mini fire extinguishers to Housewarming parties. 1. Everyone should have a fire extinguisher and 2. It’s a great joke for the card; “Just in case this housewarming gets a little TOO heated…”

RNCHLT

Beeswax candles. You can get them as pillars or in cute shapes. They don’t have much of smell for folks with sensory issues.

Always have a stash of lovely blank cards on hand so you don’t have to buy one when someone’s bday randomly comes up. Think flowers, geometric patterns, etc.

Key_Concentrate_5558

Wait. What? We’re supposed to give gifts to people who invite us to dinner? I’m never going anywhere again.

I’m also not inviting people over. It’s hard enough to manage the crap I already have. I don’t need anyone bringing me more useless crap out of a sense of “guest obligation”.

ToxicFluffer

In my culture, I was always taught that it is customary to bring someone a gift when visiting their home for the first time. I usually encourage consumables like local/artisanal honey and jam for both giving and receiving bc it’s a thoughtful personalised present!

Healbite

ADHD

Do they have hobbies or interests? Getting a gift per an activity they enjoy doesn’t require a lot of prep but it shows you think about things that make them happy

iscream4eyecream

Candles are my new go to! I love Bath and body works candles (they have a good throw) and it’s their semi annual sale so I stocked up for this exact reason lol.

rombies

In my circle, it’s customary to bring a food or drink item when you’re invited over for dinner. But it’s hard for me to plan ahead to make something ahead of time.

So I typically go to the grocery store on my way to the party. I’ll usually pick up something easy like a fruit platter, a pre-made salad, or a beverage.

Or, I’ll buy ingredients for a very simple dessert that I can make/assemble at the party. Like ice cream with fruit and pizzelle cookies, or s’mores dip.

If you’re not a wine drinker, you could stock up on other beverages like sparkling water or sparkling fruit juice.

asian_minded

A succulent in a small pot plant. Easy to take care of, you thrift some gorgeous pot, and fairly inexpensive.

One of my favourite host gifts to keep on hand.

Round_Honey5906

I always gift tea, a nice box with a mix of flavors.

Or drinks.

Usually if a person is not a good drinker they like tea or coffee so that solves most situations.

iridescent-shimmer

Wine or olive oil/vinegar sets.

saphariadragon

Mugs, chopsticks, and bowls are things I have gotten people ahead of time. It's really easy to personalize if you even know the basics about those people. And it's useful.

Books are great if you know what a person likes and coffee table books are safe. A good art book is always lovely to look at if they have any interest in art or animation.

If they have pets, things for their pets are always useful. If they have kiddos usually I refrain because kiddos get gifts all the time unless it's something both they and the kid can enjoy.

Plants are good. If they like cooking fresh herbs would be great!

ButterflyTiff

before I had kids I did cards. I mailed cards out for everyone and for everything.

Bought out tons of cards at a Hallmark that was going under.

Now that my ADHD combined with Long Covid, a vaccine reaction, and two kids and a serious long term complication from childbirth, PTSD.

yeah. nope. I'm barely functional.

So pleased my son's school has room moms. They collect $$ for all the things and have it planned out throught the year. It's amazing.

NotaNovetlyAccount

Now I usually just pick something edible that they’d probably like on the way over. Or bring nothing.

I moved from Canada (European immigrant parents) to the US. Lately I’ve been finding this is kind of thing is awkward. Some people seemed weirded out or then feel obligated to bring me something. I was raised to never go over empty handed but never expect someone bring something over.

Recently I’ve received books as gifts that people thought i may enjoy and have relevance to the area I live. I really appreciated that since I just moved to a new place. So maybe a stash of books about something local and interesting?

I also like getting Knick knacks from different places when I’ve just been on a trip. It’s kind of nice to bring a bottle of wine from your trip over, or special soaps or chocolate that you enjoyed so much you bought more of. This was a big hit for a while with a trip to Italy. I brought back a bunch of limoncello chocolates, hand made wine stoppers etc. oh I also found they shipped to my house from a really janky but useable website (in the case of the chocolates) so I ordered a bunch more. People were always thrilled to get those.

chickpeas3

The stuff I usually gift has already been listed, but I would also add that you should tailor what you bring to the people you’re giving it to. My old manager once gifted a bottle of wine to a recovering alcoholic 🫠. While she didn’t know they were in recovery, she had noticed that this person never drank and actively seemed to avoid alcohol. So if people aren’t up front with what they prefer, base the gift on what you’ve observed.

When in doubt, just bring chocolates or some other kind of candy/sweet. 90% of people will like them and the other 10% will generally smile and happily share them with others.

Gardengoddess83

I really like to shop the clearance racks after Christmas for gifts to have in an emergency stash. (And by "emergency" I mean: totally planned events that I had months to prepare for but forgot about until the morning of said event.) Things like luxurious throw blankets, fancy candles, bath gift sets, craft kits for kids, and a lot of toys generally get marked down really heavily and are good generic gifts.

I also keep anything I am gifted and won't use and regift it.

LotusBlooming90

I have been very, very low income most of my life (single mom with two kids raised by a single mom) and I’ve always always hated showing up empty handed.

I remember one Christmas I was suppose to be bringing my kids over to see extended family and I just broke down crying that morning because I could find nothing to bring. I cried to my mom about it and she saved me that year with a bottle of wine, but after taught me a few simple cookies to bake. It’s not super adhd friendly having to bake something on top of going out, but it’s easy enough to keep the staples on hand (inexpensive too) and some nice home made cookies are almost always welcomed.

hill_witch

I make soy candles for easy & cheap xmas presents! I get fun containers from the thrift store, bulk soy wax, candle wicks, and an old pot to melt wax with. It takes a little while to make and you need more wax than you would think, but its a fun craft to hyperfocus on! Just make a bunch of them and have them on hand for any last minute gifts. You can make them scented with essential oils too

manuruto

I usually ask the host a few days before what they need. I tend to bring a bottle of wine, a homemade dessert or flowers / propagated plants.

But it really depends on the event/ season and people attending, it’s tricky to prepare random items in advance. I would even say, better to not bring random items as they often end up as clutter. You want to always consider if it creates more hassle for the host (having to dispose of it or manage it later on).

If the person likes specialty food items, or cooking / baking / drinking, I’d recommend a nice syrup like Japanese yuzu. It’s very versatile - can be used for baking, salad dressings, dips, sauces, marinades, cocktails (nice with gin for example), or non alcoholic fizzy drinks (mix with sparkling water + mint) or teas (just add hot water, + lemon slice).

I wouldn’t get it too far in advance though. Although it has a long shelf life, you want it to last long for the receiver as a little goes a long way and they might take a year to use it all up. It’s nice to provide a little recipe card or instructions if they’re not familiar with the product. You could also buy a big bulk bottle and decant in (sterilised) smaller bottles, if you’re worried the regular size might be too much for the host to use up (you can always let them know you have more at home or tell them where you got it from if they love it).

My go to is baking homemade brownies. Easy to make vegan and glutenfree by default. Quick to make with pantry ingredients, can bake them in under 30 min and if using one of those medium sized glass dishes that come with a lid it’s easy to carry. Also ok if they’re not fully cooled down if you made them last minute.

Homemade short bread type cookies are another simple option. They can be made without chilling before baking (compared to lots of other stupid cookie recipes), quite easy to suit different dietary requirements and flavour preferences. If you make them small and cute, even people who are worried about weight gain or other health concerns are usually ok to have them as they’re not this massively big treat.

Can always add a nice loose leaf tea or coffee depending how generous or customised the gift needs to be. I’d be careful though with teas (and mugs), it tends to be too popular as a gift and people have particular taste.

Bonus if you can package the cookies lovingly. I often reuse gift wrapping and ribbons or use some fresh hardy herbs like rosemary from the garden with a kitchen string. Doesn’t wilt for a few hours or a day or two, and can be used for cooking if the host likes that, but also low key enough to just toss.

If you bring dessert or food, best to make something that can be out on the counter and not take up valuable fridge space. (Great for picnics too). A side dish or appetiser is another good option, like nice bread, fruit that doesn’t need to be cut up, dried fruits or nuts, fancy crackers, homemade baked savoury filled bread etc. But again that’s a bit more event specific, check the dietary needs.

Fancy roasted / seasoned nuts might be nice as they can just stay out the entire evening / day, go usually well with drinks and people like to nibble on them. Where I live nuts are very expensive, so it’s nice to receive something you normally wouldn’t buy often.

I like the idea of inviting the host to coffee later that month or writing a thoughtful card, but it’s too hard for me to follow up in time.

You can always make yourself useful by offering to wash dishes, clear tables, refill drinks or ice, entertain the kids or walk the dog. Pay attention and be helpful / diplomatic in conversations, like fill awkward silences with a lighthearted transition or silly jokes. Personally I would appreciate those things more than receiving random clutter that I know I won’t use. (Among my dreaded list are strongly scented candles and lotions, or ones with honey / goats milk. I don’t know what the hype is with those goat products…)

edgedanceremrys

As someone who doesn’t drink I never know what to do when I am presented wine as a gift. I don’t want to embarrass the giver because it’s a thoughtful thing and kind of them but I will never drink it and I’ll never regift it so it just ends up being thrown away.

If you’re looking for bulk gifts it might be best to have several kinds. Alcohol can be triggering or unwanted for many people so maybe have a wine stash and like a chocolates stash?

DrunkenButton

Does their cooking for you involve dessert? Maybe you can bring the dessert- doesn't have to be something you made, a variety of different options are available, and it's consumable and presumably everyone can enjoy it.

PartlyCloudyTomorrow

My friend always brings me tea, candles, seed packets and little local trinket things. It’s always something small and consumable or useful. I appreciate those gifts.

CheerilyTerrified

Fudge and shortbread biscuits are two foods that keep for ages, if you wanted to stock up. Other fancy biscuits and crackers including cheese crackers are also good.

Candles and nice handcreams (L'Occitane level of nice) can also be good. Nice hand-wash/liquid soal is also an option.

And not everyone likes them but there are some people I give scratch cards too. You have to make sure they are OK with gambling but with a card and nice message they can be good.

SuperTerrific

Fancy tinned fish, fancy salt (my favorite is Jacobson’s Black Garlic salt), local honey. Consumable but not perishable!

nvyetka

Fancy non alcoholic beverage - that you wouldnt normally spend so much on . Special fizzy elixirs. Tea sets . Exotic 100% juices.

thebigmishmash

Muzen Bluetooth speakers. They are adorable and sound great

I was just given a LOccitane gift set, which I’ve never used or really thought about before and am obsessed. My whole family keep stealing the hand cream and I love the little key.

Do you have a specialty food market of any kind? Maybe gift cards to there

plentyofsilverfish

Beeswax candles. Grab a bunch from someone local. They last forever, don't smell particularly strong and are a quality, consumable object that isn't taste specific.

helluva_monsoon

Hand thrown locally made pottery. Mugs for coffee/ tea drinkers. Serving dishes for cooks/hosts. Pots for gardeners

Diligent-Resist8271

Maybe make some vanilla extract? You can get all the ingredients now and make and put away. It's also something you can continuously make and hold (it actually gets better the longer it sits). I also like all of the other ideas! Thank you everyone for sharing!!!

_somedayadog

For host gifts I like to bring fun/fancy paper cocktail napkins they can use at their next gathering, fancy matches (there are some cool options in pretty boxes, or even little glass jars), or other things that will be consumed instead of just sitting. Olive oil, chocolate, fancy salts/spices are also nice!

Kreativecolors

I cut flowers from my garden. Gardening is something I hyper focus on and helps my anxiety

ButterscotchSame4703

Sparkling beverages that you might also be able to enjoy, or enough that children of other ages can enjoy (non-alcoholic sparkling juices, typically). These are big around holidays, but leftovers can go on sale. Having a variety of flavors and "prints" available to yourself will also help!

Sparkling white grape juice is lovely in the spring and summer. It can be poured over ice that contains pieces of fruit or food grade flower petals! Add a tiny splash of the luster dust (the food kind they put in drinks sometimes), and it takes a plain thing, and ups the game for cheap. Little dust needed for a big impact when it's a bubbling drink!

If you know in advance that the day is coming, you could ask them to prep ice in advance, to their taste!

You could also use it as a mixer with liquor, while those who prefer not, can enjoy the juice as is, or iced.

Structure-Impossible

A friend of mine brought truffle oil to a first meeting with a mother-in-law once. She didn’t like it, but it always stuck with me as a GREAT host(ess) gift!

dunno-whats-4-dinner

ADHD

We keep a small stash bottles of wine, champagne and premixed cocktails AND wine bottle gift bags on hand because I definitely struggle with last minute "Oh 💩 we need to bring something!" panic and obviously I never have enough extra time to grab something on the way without being very late.

Also, my credit card rewards can be converted into gift cards at discounted rates, so I have calendar reminders for April & October to check my stash of gift cards & reorder so I have them ahead of the holidays & end of school year/activities. With multiple kids there's just too many teachers, coaches, instructors, crossing guards, assistants, etc for me to keep track of so I gave up trying to get individual presents for them all. Keep a stash of thank you note cards or pretty cards that are blank inside too so both are handy when you need them.

ToxicFluffer

Jars of local honey are a staple for me! It never goes bad and u can find a great selection at decent prices. Supports local beekeepers and impressed ur friends.

A_username12345678

If you're in a cold climate: Socks. Really nice warm wool socks. Everyone needs them. Everyone loves them. And they get worn out when wearing them so you can gift them again and again without them getting too many (if you gift them for christmas and/or birthdays).

Otherwise: consumables. Everyone loves things they like and that vanish at some point in time. E.g. chocolate, wine (I'm pretty sure there are already non-alcoholic wines out there), some homemade dessert, ...

blackcatdotcom

My ideas:

-a cute and slightly overpriced kitchen implement -high quality dish towels -make a donation to a soup kitchen or food pantry and give them a card explaining it -fancy salt or honey (because they won't go bad or stale sitting on your shelf until you use them)

Greentea_88

Gift boxes from LUSH. Already Prewrapped, many sizes for every budget, different contents (bath vs shower), and everybody fucking loves them! They’re always a hit. I stock up on Boxing Day and buy 10 of the $20-$30 boxes, when they’re 50% off. Came in handy so many times when I get invited to birthday dinners etc.

Various_Raccoon3975

One of my go-to gifts is a napkin holder with a few sets of napkins, so they have refills. Shocking to me how many people don’t put out napkins when they have gatherings.

Retinoid634

How about a wine or coffee subscription which could tailor regular/monthly wine or fresh roasted coffee deliveries to their preferences?

I see subscription services like Bright Cellars Wines or Trade Coffee advertised on foodie YouTube channels like Tasting History a lot and they always intrigue me. I’d love to get a subscription gift like this. I’m sure there’s a convenient way to gift subscriptions so they do the choosing. There are often affiliate promo codes for these things too in videos sponsored by the companies. Here are a couple of affiliate links from Tasting History.

Coffee: https://www.drinktrade.com/pages/l/maxmiller

Video w Bright Celkars Affiliate Link in Description: https://youtu.be/SoFxrwuMuQs?si=e07yn2jfJDyP-K3D

Wine direct link: https://www.brightcellars.com/pages/take-wine-quiz

hschosn1

In the winter, stock up on the good hand cream. You can get the small tubes from Avon for a great price. Also, nice liquid soaps. Sometimes, when you are shopping at Costco, you find something great, like cozy socks, great mittens, or something unique. Those things that you need to get when u see them because they won't last. Or something everyone needs, but they would never get themselves. This year, I've been giving everyone those tile trackers. You can buy them in a bundle on sale, then split them up to give as gifts.
I make notes of what others give me. I give them something similar as people often give gifts that they would like themselves.

App1eBreeze

I bring room temperature champagne.

Master_Difference_52

Weird thrift store books with captivating titles.

Eldel74

I have 3 boxes of emergency gifts. A lot of my friends are peri/menopausal, so I picked up cheap handheld fans online and gave some out - my friends love them. Also, I buy pet cooling mats and these have gone down a storm with my meno pals too! Beard oil for the gents. Car USB chargers Led sensor lights, with batteries. Nice pyrex dishes Nice chopping boards - wood or marble. In places like TK Maxx. Bale of towels or tea towels Canvas prints Photo frames For Christmas, I stock up on really nice tree decorations (I received Newbridge silver one year) and they're really handy and small. Build up a supply of generic cards, thank you/birthday/congrats. Emergency supply of gift bags or totes. Tissue paper and bubble wrap. Nice clocks Candle holders Apple tart/pie Cooked chicken for the hosts to eat next day. Himalayan salt lamps. A mentioned before, get a spiderplant and propagate the babies. Plant pots - very expensive here, so if I got one, I'd be delighted! Socks Scarves Keyrings

mwmoze

My aunt sent me & my partner a fruits & cheese basket for Christmas.

We just opened the last cheese. The fruit was gone (eaten by us) in a week or two, and despite bing lactose intolerant ourselves, the cheese has been irresistible. I imagine a thoughtful food gift basket will be well-received. And if the basket is nice, an extra container never hurt anyone.

Egoteen

I have a friend who always gives out tins of Harney & Sons Birthday Tea. They also have a Celebration Tea which would be good for more general gifting.

I tend to give a lot of candles. I just keep a stock of them so I always have an easy gift on hand. I figure most people like candles, and for those that don’t personally use them, they are great gifts that can easily be regifted to others.

elbowskneesand

If they're cooks: an artisanal version of a pantry staple. Fancy salt, a nice jam, a good olive oil!

OlCheese

Local honey is a good one. Doesn't expire.

nuclearclimber

ADHD-C

Case of fancy sparkling NA cider or French lemonade. Like a bottle of wine but can be gifted to non-drinkers.

jhonculada

I love gifting my favorite room fragrances like a reed diffuser, candles, or expensive hand soap and lotion. Aesop, Nest, Voluspa, Diptyque - these are all higher end and usually not something people splurge on for themselves so they usually appreciate the gesture and expense and it's a little more personalized than just a bottle of wine or flowers. During the winter around the holidays I like gifting Nest Holiday fragrances or Voluspa gilt pomander and hinoki fragrance. I think whenever you love something, sharing it is a personal way of connecting to someone. "I absolutely love this candle and hope you like it, too." And if you're showing up with flowers or a centerpiece, please make sure it's either in water or already assembled. No host wants to put the flowers in a vase when they're already in the midst of a million other things. Another thoughtful gesture? If you know they have pets, get their pet something like a toy. Showing thoughtfulness for one of their "family members" goes a long way.