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I wonder if it's more about the twins being girls since the singleton is a boy. Self-hate is so real
My singleton is also a girl
Have you been to therapy? Are you able to articulate what it is about the twin experience that made it so hellish that your resentment remains? What is it about them that continues to nurture your antipathy for them? Where is your husband in all this? Your post says you don't know how you carried all of you this far. Are you carrying him, too?
The fact that you love the singleton baby but not the twins -- despite them all being the same sex -- suggests yours isn't a typical regretful parent situation. For many (most?) people here, they find out too late that parenthood simply isn't the meaningful and rewarding experience that it's advertised as.